Girls/Guys/Relationships

[Black Waltz]

A very clear IOI from the UG's, seems like your friend is DHV'ing them via IOD, and the UG's are clearly SOI'ing your friend and getting the bait. I don't know whether your friend is doing a BHRR or the UG's have almost no ASD, but if your friend is looking for a ONS, then go for it. In this situation, for some reason, there is a possibility there will be a LMR, but that is if your friend f*cks up the situation. But, if the girls want a STR, or worse, an LTR, and your friend is clearly not interested, best to just move on with a HB 8-10. You don't want your friend to have the MOS or having the Cinderella Effect.

i think that he should probably use the UGs as a pivot to get an HB 8-10. once he gets to the HB. but the DHV with IOD is definitely something that works well when a girl is desperate. it makes the sex all the better.

I'm not too big on parties, but I will tell you what I know. This is the non-"How to Seduce Women and be a Manly Man" way. I'm sure BlackWaltz will come in and say something like, "You should spill a drink on her and yell at her for getting in your way. Then slap her and call her a wh**e. She won't be able to resist you after that."*

Catch her eye a few times to show that she's interesting to you. Smile in a friendly and slightly seductive manner when she sees you looking at her. Make your way toward her, and exchange names. Make small talk, and find out what kind of person she is, like what her interests are, and tell her a bit about yourself (but only a little bit). If you seem to get along, you should be able to get her phone number right there. I usually give the girl my phone number as well, although that's entirely optional, I guess.

It's important to be friendly and confident, or at least seem friendly and confident (I know many guys get extremely nervous around girls). Don't expect to hook up with every girl you approach, and don't be upset if you end up just walking away after a minute of stressful talk. You won't mesh with every girl. Also, don't just go for the very open, friendly girls because they're easier to talk to and they laugh at your dumber jokes; they get so much attention from so many guys that you'll probably be lost in the shuffle.

If a girl doesn't seem to like you back, then move on. Try not to become fixated on just one, although if you see one that is really special to you, feel free to really try to talk to her.

Those are just general pointers, of course, and I am by no means an expert.

*I'm just kidding, BlackWaltz. I know you'd never say that. Well, I'm 90% certain you'd never say that.

well, you never know when that 10% might kick in.
on HB 8-10 negs are probably an excellent way to start a convo. for ex: whisper in her ear, "hey, im about to tell you something that no one has ever told you before...your shirt tag is sticking out."
this gets them alert and focused, while the last comment creates humor. experiment, if some bad **** goes down, just try again.

 

[The Masked Z]

i think that he should probably use the UGs as a pivot to get an HB 8-10. once he gets to the HB. but the DHV with IOD is definitely something that works well when a girl is desperate. it makes the sex all the better.

A very good example. Since the HB 8-10 will see the DHV you are having with the blatant IOI's from the UG's, just remember to BHRR, or make sure to do the M3 model correctly.

 

[Rici]

What do you do if your cousin constantly flirts with your girlfriend?

Crowbar to the face.

Spoiler

I stole that from Eor, sorry Eor

 

[joshisrad]

He can't use the UGs as pivots when he's on the other side of the world though. What he wants to do is fclose the UGs, which is a DLV on his inner game. What he needs to do is get to wherever it is he's going and GFTOW.

 

[Jammer]

Because dude if you could read at any English level, you'd realize that he said that his cousin is flirting with HIS girlfriend.

Ahh...you are correct, my friend. I must have missed a pronoun there or something. I was thinking that his female cousin was flirting with a random guy. I think we can both agree that this means I'm a total idiot, right, KevinM?

That has happened to me (my male cousin flirting with my female girlfriend). My cousin is about a year older than me, and he is more handsome and has smoother moves than me (no really; it's true!). It's actually gotten so bad that I no longer bring my special friends to family reunions, which is pretty much the only time I see him anyway.

I agree with what The Masked Z said. I also want to add that his method works for any friend, and not just your cousin. Although I didn't actually ask my cousin to stop, because he's the kind of guy who would just smile and call me a bad name, and flirt with my girlfriends even more. He loves making people feel annoyed and uncomfortable. (His relationships never last long....)

whisper in her ear, "hey, im about to tell you something that no one has ever told you before...your shirt tag is sticking out."
this gets them alert and focused, while the last comment creates humor.

Oh crap--this pick-up line totally worked on me. I got alert and focused, and then I giggled like a schoolgirl at the end. Well, I didn't actually giggle, but I can see how something like that would work on some girls.

Especially 8-10 HB's, of course. Because it "makes the sex all the better".

That last line was sarcasm/cynicism, by the way.

 

[Zink]

Oh crap--this pick-up line totally worked on me. I got alert and focused, and then I giggled like a schoolgirl at the end. Well, I didn't actually giggle, but I can see how something like that would work on some girls.

JAMMER IS A GIRL YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST!

Walk up to her and introduce yourself.

100% GAME.

WIN
TOKI
PERFECT

All joking aside, this seems to be a subject of much debate. I personally am of the opinion that if you can't attract a given girl with your own normal personality, you're after the wrong girl. What good for a relationship is making it into a science? Is that really what you both want?

 

[Cinder]

Ok then,

What do you do if your cousin constantly flirts with your girlfriend?

Now I realize how lucky I am to not have any male cousins my age...I'd say listen to The Masked Z...it sounds like he knows what he's talkin' about...

Anyway, back to my pursuits...first off, it seems that I have been misspelling Jeri's name (oops...), and second, I figured out that she has a sense of humor...not the "lol that was HILARIOUS" humor, but the cutish, gotta make you laugh a little on the inside kind...I guess an example would help...

Since we've had orchestra concerts the past two days, our teacher gave us a study hall...towards the end, I notice a couple of people writing stuff on the chalkboard, as they usually do before/after a concert...I decide to be immature (I have my moments) and write "Violas FTW" on the board...Jeri, being as witty as she is, goes up, slips an I between the L and A, and turns the A into an N...making "Violins FTW"...

I know...it's not that funny...but it was kinda cute and clever if you ask me...

 

[Jammer]

JAMMER IS A GIRL YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST!

.... That is pretty much the subtle joke I was making. Congratulations on finding it? But no congratulations on getting all excited about it.

But about your other thing about changing your personality: I don't think it's wrong to be a different person around different people. Around serious people, I'm very serious. Around immature people, I can act very immature. Around fun/jokey people, I am very funny/jokey. I think everyone is like that.

People always talk about how you should "be yourself". If you ask me, one's self is not some immutable rock of personality--instead, it's a changing, adapting thing. Say I had a girlfriend who hated it when I winked at her. I'd simply not wink at her. Of course, there is a limit at which two people become completely incompatible. But I think that limit is farther off than most people imagine.

Then again, I have always been aware of how I'm acting, and I'm somewhat of an actor. I've never had any trouble or qualms about changing how I act to please a girl. She usually does the same for me.

 

[joshisrad]

Cinder: that isn't funny, clever, witty, or anything. It's called halo effect.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halo_effect

Jammer: Dramaturgy(sociologically speaking). We're all actors.

 

[Cinder]

@josh: y'know, I gotta admit...you're probably right...wow...I must have it worse for Jeri than I thought...>.<...

 

[Jammer]

Jammer: Dramaturgy(sociologically speaking). We're all actors.

Right. And that's why I don't think that "being yourself" has much meaning. And that's why I think that it is perfectly fine to act differently around a single person, as long as you're willing to always act like that.

For instance, it would be wrong to be sweet and considerate if that's all a lie and after a few months you'll be controlling and abusive.

 

[joshisrad]

Forget about her and go meet other women. She'll love your independence and cool, easygoing nature that comes with the experience. Though doing it to impress her is sort of counter-intuitive. Just call up your other girl friends and hang out with them. Remind yourself of the things you appreciate about them. Maybe do some cold approaches at your local Starbucks. Find a girl studying and talk to her. She didn't go there to study. ;D Just do something with any other woman besides this girl and get your mind off her.

 

[smash superstar]

Get Some!!!!

 

[Zink]

Right. And that's why I don't think that "being yourself" has much meaning. And that's why I think that it is perfectly fine to act differently around a single person, as long as you're willing to always act like that.

For instance, it would be wrong to be sweet and considerate if that's all a lie and after a few months you'll be controlling and abusive.

Exactly. So you ARE really acting like yourself. You become your mask.

 

[joshisrad]

I just lost the game. :|

 

[Elysium]

Right. And that's why I don't think that "being yourself" has much meaning. And that's why I think that it is perfectly fine to act differently around a single person, as long as you're willing to always act like that.

For instance, it would be wrong to be sweet and considerate if that's all a lie and after a few months you'll be controlling and abusive.

Thats pretty deep Jammer.
I completely understand though. Take for instances cussing (swearing, cursing or any other word for it) around someone. I do it around my friends, but I never did it around my ex. Why? Because she didn't like it. So it wasn't really "me" but it was me just acting a different way around someone. I agree with you.

 

[joshisrad]

No, it's not deep- even kids are aware of it when they develop theory of mind.

http://www.losethegame.com/

 

[The Masked Z]

For instance, it would be wrong to be sweet and considerate if that's all a lie and after a few months you'll be controlling and abusive.

It would be more wrong to be controlling and abusive if that's all a lie and after a few months you'll be sweet and considerate. She will leave faster than you say "Jammer is a pimp."

 

[joshisrad]

Survey for the community:

What a girl wants, at the core, is to find a man who will treat her like a goddess - grapes and all.

Agree or disagree?

 

[Pluvia's other account]

Agree.

 

[The Masked Z]

What a girl wants, at the core, is to find a man who will treat her like a goddess - grapes and all.

Sure, it may boost her ego, and she may like it, but ego boosters don't get laid.

Honestly, women are naturally submissive, as men are naturally dominant. It is hard wired through our genetics, and we can't unwire what millions of years has done to us vs. just wanting to change.

 

[joshisrad]

I forgot to have you guys explain why.

Pluvia, please elaborate?

 

[KoreanDJ111]

Sure, it may boost her ego, and she may like it, but ego boosters don't get laid.

Honestly, women are naturally submissive, as men are naturally dominant. It is hard wired through our genetics, and we can't unwire what millions of years has done to us vs. just wanting to change.

Over Complimenting a girl will say that you have lower status than her, and she doesn't want a guy that feels like he is inferior to the girl.

I've met a lot of tom boys, and they have been in a lot of relationships with guys being submissive. But all of the girls thanked me for being the dominant one because that's what she truly wanted deep down.

There is the social mask, where people connect on a superficial level (So how about them Patriots?) and there is the deep down inner persona connection, where you take down all the stupid society bullsh*t and really connect, and see people for who they really are.

Don't take things for face value, is the moral of this story.

 

[Pluvia's other account]

Every girl fantasises about being treated right, and like a Goddess.

Obviously they want more than just that, but girls love to be swooned over I suppose. But the again, what KDJ said is right too, they don't want guys that feel like he's inferior to her.

 

[joshisrad]

Weird. I don't even know how to provoke thought from you since you agreed both sides.

Are you of the side that understands that women want men who are men?

 

[Pluvia's other account]

Yeah, but a thoughtful man.

 

[The Masked Z]

Every girl fantasises about being treated right, and like a Goddess.

Hahaha!

That's some funny ****... $5 says that is your mom's fantasy that she told you when you were 7.

Some of their deepest fantasies are some of the nastiest stuff I've ever heard of. A majority of them are just afraid to publicly admit it.

 

[Pluvia's other account]

No it's not actually.

And I know about that second part, but it's no where near as bad as guys.

 

[The Masked Z]

Dude, girls are not princesses or Goddesses that have no dark side to them. Thinking in that mindset is the biggest trap ever.

Girls are just as sexual, if not MORE sexual, than guys.

 

[Jammer]

Over Complimenting a girl will say that you have lower status than her, and she doesn't want a guy that feels like he is inferior to the girl.

I would disagree with this statement. Giving someone a compliment isn't saying that you're inferior to them. In Western culture, it's actually an equalizer. When I compliment you, it's saying that we're on the same level, because I'm showing that my opinion matters to you.

Of course, you can go overboard. But then it's not complimenting--it's just being obsessive.

It annoys me when people think they can't be kind or praise other people because it makes them look weak or inferior themselves. That's very far from the truth.

How can you make your girlfriend feel good? By telling her nice things about her. As long as you're sincere, I don't see how it could ever become a problem. When your girlfriend feels good, it makes you feel good. Nobody is made "inferior" by this. And of course it works the other way: when you're feeling bad, your girlfriend is there to tell you nice things about yourself to cheer you up. It's a symbiotic relationship.

Also, KoreanDJ, do you have any advice besides "Be the dominant one" and "Be a man's man"? I'm just wondering if that's the extent of your personality, because that seems to be your answer to everything. I know that was rude, but it's what I've been thinking for a while.

 

[joshisrad]

I'd say more. They are sexual predators, after all ;D

 

[Pluvia's other account]

Yeah, but girls think about sex in a different mind to guys. Sex is kept in a completely different compartment to normal everyday things with guys. Which is why our fantasies are just about sex really, whereas girls ones tend to be more romantic.

 

[The Masked Z]

I would disagree with this statement. Giving someone a compliment isn't saying that you're inferior to them. In Western culture, it's actually an equalizer. When I compliment you, it's saying that we're on the same level, because I'm showing that my opinion matters to you.

Of course, you can go overboard. But then it's not complimenting--it's just being obsessive.

It annoys me when people think they can't be kind or praise other people because it makes them look weak or inferior themselves. That's very far from the truth.

How can you make your girlfriend feel good? By telling her nice things about her. As long as you're sincere, I don't see how it could ever become a problem. When your girlfriend feels good, it makes you feel good. Nobody is made "inferior" by this. And of course it works the other way: when you're feeling bad, your girlfriend is there to tell you nice things about yourself to cheer you up. It's a symbiotic relationship.

Also, KoreanDJ, do you have any advice besides "Be the dominant one" and "Be a man's man"? I'm just wondering if that's the extent of your personality, because that seems to be your answer to everything. I know that was rude, but it's what I've been thinking for a while.

I'm interested in your theory of women since you think you are hot **** with 20 gf's. So far, from the **** I've heard, I'm far from impressed.

 

[BigRick]

I've met a lot of tom boys, and they have been in a lot of relationships with guys being submissive. But all of the girls thanked me for being the dominant one because that's what she truly wanted deep down.

Strong women do not want to be the man.

Strong women want a stronger man.

amirite?

 

[joshisrad]

"Which is why our fantasies are just about sex really, whereas girls ones tend to be more romantic."

Far from the truth.

 

[Pikaville]

Alright heres the score.I at the moment have a f**k buddy.About 7 weeks back she said she wanted to be more than that.I said no because I didnt feel that way and it would be wrong for me to lead her to believe otherwise.For 2 weeks we didnt talk and avoided each other(awkward)But then we were both at a party,she grabs me aside and we kinda sort things out.Basically I said "I was sorry if I hurt or mislead her,"she said "I dont care about a relationship I just want sex."

Needless to say this is a sweet deal (and rare) so some women just want some sex(just like guys)

By the way **** buddies(for those of you who don't know)are like girlfriends with none of the baggage that goes with them,but also and more importantly none or the passion/love or whatever.(which is s**t)

Unpassionate casual sex is ****e compared to sex with someone you love(or think you may love)

 

[Blackadder]

Alright heres the score.I at the moment have a f**k buddy.About 7 weeks back she said she wanted to be more than that.I said no because I didnt feel that way and it would be wrong for me to lead her to believe otherwise.For 2 weeks we didnt talk and avoided each other(awkward)But then we were both at a party,she grabs me aside and we kinda sort things out.Basically I said "I was sorry if I hurt or mislead her,"she said "I dont care about a relationship I just want sex."

Needless to say this is a sweet deal (and rare) so some women just want some sex(just like guys)

Heh, interesting deal.
Though, what do you plan to do if you actually fall in love with someone someday? Will you lay your **** buddy off or what?

I'm just interested in your answer.

 

[joshisrad]

All women want sex.

 

[Pluvia's other account]

Alright heres the score.I at the moment have a f**k buddy.About 7 weeks back she said she wanted to be more than that.I said no because I didnt feel that way and it would be wrong for me to lead her to believe otherwise.

Yeah, but girls think about sex in a different mind to guys. Sex is kept in a completely different compartment to normal everyday things with guys. Which is why our fantasies are just about sex really, whereas girls ones tend to be more romantic.

Ahem, if that doesn't prove my point then I don't know what does.

 

[KoreanDJ111]

Also, KoreanDJ, do you have any advice besides "Be the dominant one" and "Be a man's man"? I'm just wondering if that's the extent of your personality, because that seems to be your answer to everything. I know that was rude, but it's what I've been thinking for a while.

The reason why people are questioning about "being the dominant one" is because they don't know how it feels to be dominant. They have been pampered by their mothers by being such nice guys and treating women like "princesses". In logic, it makes perfect sense. But that is what it is. Logic.

Unfortunately, logic doesn't work very well in the dating scene.

Why? Because it's all about EMOTIONS.

Why do you think girls (especially younger ones) give you a lot of attention and hug you one day, and act like a cold fish the next?

Why do you think girls leave the bad boy and dates the nice guy, only to dump the nice guy and go back to the bad boy?

Emotions, my friends.

Us men love calm and peace, where the waters are still.

Women, on the other hand, need drama in their lives. They need love, hate, jealousy, lust, joy, sadness, etc.

They need to feel a full range of emotions.

And what do bad boys do? They give girls that full range of emotions.

What do nice boys do? They give girls only one emotion: Love.

Now this isn't to say that you shouldn't purposefully make your girl sad or hate you, but if you are not a man without boundaries, she will feel very insecure in the relationship and she will either dump you or cheat on you for a REAL man.

You can argue with me about the logistics of the interaction, but I am not interested in that. You can talk about how you are right and how it is supposed to work, but what matters in the end is results.

Dominance and being a man has a lot of negative connotations in this thread, which is no wonder why people rebuke it so much.

Dominance is not overt aggression.

Overt Aggression is when you grab the girl's hand and yank her arm and forcefully take her somewhere. That will cause resistance from the girl.

Dominance is when you put out your hand in front of the girl, and she takes the hand, and she follows you to wherever you want to go. There is zero resistance from the girl.

Leading the interaction is very important. In most cases, girls don't want to be held responsible for things, and we men need to.

"But KDJ, today is the new age... We don't need that macho man image anymore."

Being macho is a social mask. Being a man is an internal way of living your life.

Women, despite the convenience of this day and age, still need a man to look up to for security and protection. Physical as well as emotional.

How can a woman feel safe with a guy who is going to go cry in the corner wincing in pain while she gets mugged by a criminal in a dark alley?

Being a man instead of a wuss brings security and comfort with a woman, which is ESSENTIAL to a healthy relationship.

There is no such thing as "You are either a jerk or a nice guy".

Human psychology is not as simple as that.

Being a man is sticking up for himself, not tolerating BS from others and himself, being honest, not apoligizing for the things he does (but he knows when to apoligize at the right times), having a strong willpower and ambition for life, constantly improving his life, leading the interaction, has a life other than the girl, not kissing up to girls (but not abusing them), and doing what he wants to do in life.

This is all in retrospect in how you want to live your life. If you are 100% satisfied with how you are living your life now, then keep doing the things that you are doing now. If you want to change your life, don't change other people. Change only yourself.