Girls/Guys/Relationships

[Black Waltz]

Wrong answer.



Wrong answer.



Jammer is going somewhere with not paying for girls.

Don't be thinking that girls won't be taking advantage for you because they have higher ethics than that.

Think about it. If some girl you don't like offers to buy you dinner, would you go:
"I don't really like this girl, so I'm going to reject this free dinner."
Yeah, ok buddy.

The reason why I say wrong answer to these guys is that you will be falling for one of the biggest traps of your life if you ask her out at this point so blatantly.

First off... whenever you meet a girl for the first time, in the first few minutes of the interaction, they will decide whether or not you will be a potential lover or a friend.

Changing a lover to a friend is very easy. Changing a friend to a lover isn't.

I'm not saying it's not possible, but you have a lot easier time meeting a brand new girl than going with this current girl.

You saw her for Four years, and you continually buy things for her. This is bad. Very bad.

She says she likes it because she doesn't have to spend her own money? Wow. A potential gold digger? Maybe.

You are already so deep in the friend zone at this point that asking at this point will lead her to say "Let's just be friends".

There is a difference of friends and "just friends".

I've had guys tell me
"But she is the one in my life. I need to know what to do in this situation."

You've got to smell the roses buddy, to be able to get into a relationship with this specific girl will be dangerous not just to your mental health but to your wallet.

If you already set the dynamics of the relationship beforehand of buying her things, you will CONTINUALLY buy her things.

It's just stupid social programming brainwashing guys to buy affection for women.

But listen, most girls hate it when guys buy them things. Sure, maybe the first date or so is acceptable, but beyond that is just too much.

I have girls buying me more things than me buying her things. Whenever it comes to meals, we switch off every time. I don't have the money to be spending luxury dinners every night for each different girl, otherwise all my money will go down the drain.

Let me just tell you something about "the special girl" in your life. To me, there is really no such thing as the "one". It's just a type of girl that fits better for you than others. Trust me, you can find plenty of the "one" in other places.

The only thing that could potentially get you two together is if you spend some time away from each other. Start seeing new girls. If that girl sees you with other girls, she will realize that you are wanted by other girls. Girls want what other girls want. Same thing with guys too.

She will start to see you in a different light, and approach you differently.

But all in all, you should just keep her as a friend. Move on and see other girls and STOP BUYING WOMEN AFFECTION.

If you can't move on, if you are in head soak with tears for her, then go for it. Ask her out. If she says yes, wonderful. But, if she says that "we should just be friends" then just move on and don't cry about it. Learn from this. If what you did made her reject you, then what do you need to do to change? Stop buying girls dinner and gifts all the time? That sounds like a start.



And my credentials?

I'm 19, but I don't like to kiss and tell. That's confidential material. Plus, I really don't give a **** to tell the world how many girls I've laid. My relationships with women are for me and her only, not for others.

PREACH THAT **** KDJ!

BUT SHE IS THE ONLY ONE IN MY LIFE! Do you all really agree with KDJ's post? Everyone? Can he really have the right idea? It just sounds like.. such a jerk thing to do! =(

Oh yeah. I think I love this girl! You know what, I actually do love her. How do I know? I don't know how.. I just DO!

dude, girls dont ****ing care if youre being a jerk. if theyre hot enough, they wont give a **** and will find it funny. girls are just as evil, if not more evil than men are. so we've got to step up our game and not let them stay the spoiled brats that they are now.

 

[Pluvia's other account]

KDJ is right I guess. There are many right answers though, it just depends on which one you choose.

And they aren't objects Black Waltz, don't you have any girl friends?

 

[joshisrad]

So you all agree with KDJ and Black Waltz? Essentially that I have to be a man about it and then something MIGHT be able to happen from there? You guys really don't think I'm in love?

 

[Jammer]

You can be in love, of course. That's not something that I think someone else can tell whether or not you're in. It's something you have to feel for yourself, for the most part.

But you see, you're going about it in the wrong way. This is what this thread is for: relationship advice. We give you advice, you might follow it, and it might help. In this case, I think it's pretty clear-cut. It's not about "being a man"; it's about knowing how to act and knowing what not to do.

Are you planning on taking our advice? I'm not trying to make you do something; I'm just trying to give you advice that I hope you decide to follow.

 

[joshisrad]

Actually, I was planning on seeing how many people would agree with the same type of thing I'd said in past threads about relationship advice(aka what KDJ preaches in this thread) in comparison to how many agreed with me back then(very, very few).

But I'm sort of confused - wouldn't you say that being an alpha male, a man, etc., consists in part of knowing how to act and knowing what not to do?

 

[Tom]

joshisrad, are you taking advantage of these guys?

you're having them dish out advice to you, as a guy seeking a girl, while in Las Pictoras, you're a girl? =/

 

[Pluvia's other account]

I thought she was gay.

 

[Tom]

thats a respectable explanation i didnt think of.

 

[Jammer]

I thought she was gay.

A very similar thing happened with a user named Got Blood? a while ago. His/her posts made him/her seem like a guy (talk of liking girls with absolutely no hint of being a lesbian or bisexual), but he/she posted pictures of himself/herself in the Las Pictoras thread that depicted him/her as a she.

I think the answer was that he/she was really a he, and was just jerking us around. I think that's what's happening here.

I mean, joshisrad? That is definitely not the username of a girl. It's the username of a guy named Josh.

 

[Red Exodus]

This isn't really relationship stuff but I went through primary school with this girl [about 5-6 years give or take] we got along ok and I had a crush on her at one point but since we left primary school we never kept contact.

6 years later [a.k.a the present] one of my life long friends told me she got into porn, I thought it was a joke but then I saw the pictures, I never thought I'd see someone I know in porn.

It's kinda freaky because she was decent back then, I guess that just goes to show how much people change over the years =/

 

[Pluvia's other account]

I mean, joshisrad? That is definitely not the username of a girl. It's the username of a guy named Josh.

That's what I thought, and then I thought maybe it's the username of a girl, who just thinks Josh is rad..

 

[Blackadder]

It's not about "being a man"; it's about knowing how to act and knowing what not to do.

That part nearly made me cry; It's so beautiful.
Honestly Josh, I just cAN'T grasp what you think about "Being the man".
I seriously have never been able to get it. It' always sounded far to...harsh.

(Yes, I'm trying to put all the **** behind us here, *cough*)

A very similar thing happened with a user named Got Blood? a while ago. His/her posts made him/her seem like a guy (talk of liking girls with absolutely no hint of being a lesbian or bisexual), but he/she posted pictures of himself/herself in the Las Pictoras thread that depicted him/her as a she.

I think the answer was that he/she was really a he, and was just jerking us around. I think that's what's happening here.

I know her, she's co-leader of my crew. She's a she alright.

This isn't really relationship stuff but I went through primary school with this girl [about 5-6 years give or take] we got along ok and I had a crush on her at one point but since we left primary school we never kept contact.

6 years later [a.k.a the present] one of my life long friends told me she got into porn, I thought it was a joke but then I saw the pictures, I never thought I'd see someone I know in porn.

It's kinda freaky because she was decent back then, I guess that just goes to show how much people change over the years =/

That's actually something I've always thought about. Sometimes I think things like "I wonder what it'd be like to see a girl I grew up with become a porn star one day" just because it sounded so surreal.
It'd just be....something to go ":o" at.

Maybe for more than one reason.

 

[joshisrad]

Not being THE man, being A man. Of course being the man is pretty righteous. Don't you like your friends to be like, you're the man, man.

Primary school is what? Not high school..?

 

[Crystallion]

BlackWaltz, you sound so much like a jerk right there. I suggest to get out and get to know some real women since what you say is for the majority totally wrong, I'm sorry to say.

 

[joshisrad]

Hm. You seem very certain of this. How do you know?

 

[Crystallion]

Well, there are some who are manipulative, and of course I can't be certain at all considering there are so many types of women, but BlackWaltz was generalizing and that's what p***ed me off. Plus, I am a girl and I had to take it uber seriously AND personally ^^ I'm just wondering what makes him think so, I mean I could say the same about men if I wanted to generalize, but I know it's not true, I just don't trust many, that's all.
He's probably joking...

 

[Elysium]

Or had a really bad experience and is still reeling from it...maybe....

 

[Crystallion]

Or had a really bad experience and is still reeling from it...maybe....

Yeah, that's what I thought too at the first moment... ^^; Oh well, it's his opinion, but I do think it isn't really good advice and he should've kept it to himself

 

[Elysium]

Yeah, it might not have been the best advice, but like you said too it might've been a joke. If he was seriously however, I agree with you and probably should have kept that to himself.

 

[joshisrad]

Generalizations didn't just come about for no reason.

Agree or disagree.

 

[Elysium]

Generalizations are more like skewed facts or biased experiences, therefore making them almost always misleading or wrong. The reason being is that it has to fit a general application, and so many things in the world can't be put into a application like that. (in our case women/gender altogether)
However, people still use them to argue points which very rarely turn out very well. They do come up for a reason, but the reason isn't a very good one.

 

[Crystallion]

Can you prove that what BlackWaltz says is right and can be proven on a very scientific basis with graphics and such? Nope, thus it is a BIASED generalization AND useless. Generalizations are in general (yeah, I realize the irony of the statement) stupid. And my point is he probably based his statement on one measly experience in his life which is wrong. If he can actually prove it to me, hat off, otherwise he should GTFO this topic because it didn't contribute anything in the first place.

I can just go and tell everyone that all men are rapists. Many are, but does that mean anything? No. So stop it with generalizing everything because it leads nowhere.

EDIT: Elysium beat me to it xD

 

[TheFifthMan]

Being in swing dancing has given me quite a bit of insight on my ideal relationship, so much to the point where every part of my ideal dance can be likened to my ideal relationship.

Sometimes I even treat my dances as 5 minute dates; there's so much you can tell from your partner in 3 minutes of a song than in an entire day of a date. And when that dance is perfect, from start to finish? Just might be a potential real date, you know?

 

[Jammer]

TheFifthMan, I cannot tell if you are joking or not.

Do you seriously think you can tell if you'd be compatible with someone by how well you can dance with them? You do know that the ability to dance has practically zero correlation with the ability to have a good relationship, right? If your partner is a good dancer, you have a good dancing experience. If they aren't, you don't. Their personality, preferences, etc. are never revealed.

But of course, if the most important thing for you is that your date is a good dancer, then that's a perfectly fine way of finding the perfect girl.

And about people yelling at BlackWaltz: I don't think he's had a bad experience. The reason he said what he did is that's what you're supposed to think that when you're trying to have sex with a girl (not that I agree with it).

You see, you're supposed to think about girls hanging around bars, flirting with guys so that they buy them drinks, and not having sex with the guys. In other words, taking advantage of the guys, because the guys buy the girls drinks but don't get anything in return.

Now, as a guy, you're supposed to be a total jerk in a situation. For example, if a girl asks you to buy a drink, you say, "Will you go home with me tonight?" And when they get mad, you point out how they're trying to get you to buy them a drink, and they're not giving anything in return. It turns out that this system actually works (for the guys).

Or something like that. I haven't actually read the books--I got this information from reading a sort of autobiography by a Nobel Prize-winning physicist.

So, BlackWaltz is generalizing a very specific type of girl: the type that flirts with guys to get stuff, but never pays for it with sex. And I'd have to agree with him that that's pretty mean of the girls to do, because the guys are buying them drinks in the hopes of having sex with them. I'd also have to agree that, as surprising as this sounds, when the guy acts like a jerk, it really works.

But that generalization does not apply at all to other women. Most women don't hang around bars flirting.

Correct me if I'm wrong, BlackWaltz.

 

[Black Waltz]

Well, there are some who are manipulative, and of course I can't be certain at all considering there are so many types of women, but BlackWaltz was generalizing and that's what p***ed me off. Plus, I am a girl and I had to take it uber seriously AND personally ^^ I'm just wondering what makes him think so, I mean I could say the same about men if I wanted to generalize, but I know it's not true, I just don't trust many, that's all.
He's probably joking...

im sorry if i seemed offensive, but i wasnt joking. but fact: the right combination of cockiness and humor will always get the girls. i dont know if its just location or what, but all the hot girls in my area like it when i act cocky and indifferent. and im not saying ALL girls will like it, but most will.

example from FB: Andrew Chen wrote
at 8:31pm on July 7th, 2007
wow, you look so ridiculous that im glad you couldnt make it yesterday.

(identity protected): now now...there's no need to hate because you're jealous that i can make even traditional korean outfits look sexy.

this is the kind of *******-ness and cocky that im talking about.

 

[joshisrad]

Generalizations are more like skewed facts or biased experiences, therefore making them almost always misleading or wrong.

That's a generalization right there. Did you know that? Do you know what a generalization is?

The reason being is that it has to fit a general application, and so many things in the world can't be put into a application like that. (in our case women/gender altogether)

Are you serious? Application isn't the right word but I know what you're trying to say.
Women, in general, are weaker, physically speaking, from men.
That's correct. I'm not mistaken, am I?

However, people still use them to argue points which very rarely turn out very well. They do come up for a reason, but the reason isn't a very good one.

Like you did in the first thing I quoted you on?
I even bolded the generalization in this snippet of what you said.

I don't think you understood my question though. What I meant when I said "come about" was the same as "to be created." Like, they didn't come to be for no reason. But I don't think you agree with that.. you don't, right?

Can you prove that what BlackWaltz says is right and can be proven on a very scientific basis with graphics and such? Nope, thus it is a BIASED generalization AND useless.

That's an invalid conclusion, actually. Because it cannot be proven does not mean it's biased. And I don't believe it's biased. Can you point out the bias in his statement?
Actually, I'd argue what he said can indeed be argued with scientific inquiry. And I wouldn't be surprised if it has already.

Generalizations are in general (yeah, I realize the irony of the statement)

Clever girl. =)

stupid. And my point is he probably based his statement on one measly experience in his life which is wrong.

But see, that's basing your own argument off of both generalization and assumption. Which is not logically sound at all. Don't you agree?
I'm trying not to incur flames, so I'm asking nice questions like this =)

If he can actually prove it to me, hat off, otherwise he should GTFO this topic because it didn't contribute anything in the first place.

What would it take to prove anything to you? What defines proof?

I can just go and tell everyone that all men are rapists. Many are, but does that mean anything? No. So stop it with generalizing everything because it leads nowhere.

But that would be faulty. The majority of men are not rapists. So that's a hasty generalization based on too little evidence. Of course it doesn't lead to a positive direction! =)

 

[Elysium]

That's a generalization right there. Did you know that? Do you know what a generalization is?

True, but thats why I said *almost*. There are some generalization that are true, but a lot of them aren't. Thats what I was getting at. If I changed it to all generalizations are misleading and wrong, then it would be a false statement. There's no getting around that.

Are you serious? Application isn't the right word but I know what you're trying to say.
Women, in general, are weaker, physically speaking, from men.
That's correct. I'm not mistaken, am I?

Generalization : " A principle, statement, or idea having general application." compliments of Opera's free dictionary widget.
That is a statement that I think would work as a generalization, not because I'm sexist, just because thats been my experience. Someone else might disagree though.

I don't think you understood my question though. What I meant when I said "come about" was the same as "to be created." Like, they didn't come to be for no reason. But I don't think you agree with that.. you don't, right?

Everything is created for a reason, even generalizations.

 

[joshisrad]

True, but thats why I said *almost*. There are some generalization that are true, but a lot of them aren't. Thats what I was getting at. If I changed it to all generalizations are misleading and wrong, then it would be a false statement. There's no getting around that.

I'm mainly talking about the invalid conclusion you brought through it. "Because generalizations are based on skewed and biased experiences(which they are NOT), they are wrong." Your using the word "therefore" defines it that way.

Generalization : " A principle, statement, or idea having general application." compliments of Opera's free dictionary widget.
That is a statement that I think would work as a generalization, not because I'm sexist, just because thats been my experience. Someone else might disagree though.

Opera has the right definition, but the way that you yourself used the word application was wrong. That's what I was saying.
Sexism has nothing to do with it. Ignore political correctness as much as you can. All that matters is the facts. Women, in general, tend to be weaker than men. Take this one.. plumbers, in general, have a greater tendency to be men than women. Agree or disagree?

Everything is created for a reason, even generalizations

Right, everything has reason, sure. But would you agree that the reason for such thing as a generalization to have come about is often sensible? Of course, this is a general statement, but.. well, that's my point. On generalizations, in general. So your answer to the question?



@ jammer: You're actually very misinformed about what you were trying to say. I can see why, as an outsider, you'd think that. But a lot of what you said is pretty inaccurate, and is not was black waltz was talking about.
Obviously, I fabricated the situation about the girl in my post. If you couldn't tell by now. I was trying to get a better understanding of the thought processes of most AFCs on such an issue, but not enough people responded. Oh well.
And yes, I'm a guy. I like messing with people.

 

[Jammer]

It seems we are confused about generalizations here.

There is nothing wrong with generalizations. They are, in fact, truths. Even if you don't use the phrase "most girls are...", the generalization is still true as long as we don't get crazy over semantics.

The problem comes from applying generalizations to individuals. I'm sure you can see what I mean without me going into detail.

So, it's true that women are physically weaker than men. But I can't say that this woman is weaker than that man, because they're individuals and it is unknown which one is stronger.

Are women more evil than guys, as BlackWaltz said (I've taken it a bit out of context, of course)? I wouldn't know, but it sounds reasonable. You could say that women are more devious and (please excuse the language) b1tchy, whereas men are generally more direct and comradely. But men commit many more violent crimes than women, if you want to use that as an indicator of evilness. But it doesn't matter: All that really matters is (and yes, it's not a very useful question) "is this person more evil than that person?"

There is nothing wrong about using generalizations, as long as you don't force your generalizations onto individuals.

Also, this seems like a rather silly discussion to be having in a relationship thread.

To hopefully end it, I will ask for relationship advice, something which I never thought I'd do here:

I have the email of a girl I like. After changing some of my classes in school, I don't see her any more, and we don't really have any friends in common.

Now, it seems that whenever someone talks about how they emailed some girl telling her that he likes her, we all yell at him and say to never do that. I am confused on whether or not emailing is an acceptable way to tell someone you'd like to go out with them. I always thought it was, but it seems that most of you don't.

I would appreciate help on this matter. If there are specific things you should say in such an email, I would like to hear about those too. To tell you the truth, I never use any charm, but I think this particular girl would appreciate some. How do you write a charming email, and should you ever write it in the first place?

 

[Blackadder]

Well, there are some who are manipulative, and of course I can't be certain at all considering there are so many types of women, but BlackWaltz was generalizing and that's what p***ed me off.

Admist all fights over generalisations, I just wanna say:
Pissed off isn't censored Crystallion.

I have the email of a girl I like. After changing some of my classes in school, I don't see her any more, and we don't really have any friends in common.

Now, it seems that whenever someone talks about how they emailed some girl telling her that he likes her, we all yell at him and say to never do that. I am confused on whether or not emailing is an acceptable way to tell someone you'd like to go out with them. I always thought it was, but it seems that most of you don't.

I would appreciate help on this matter. If there are specific things you should say in such an email, I would like to hear about those too. To tell you the truth, I never use any charm, but I think this particular girl would appreciate some. How do you write a charming email, and should you ever write it in the first place?

May as well try it. Though it'll make the meeting a little kore awkward that it needs to be. But if it's the only way you feel you can do it, you may as well try it.

How many of these people can say "I emailed her and now she hates me!" anyways?

 

[joshisrad]

Jammer, you are SPOT on about generalizations. I'm impressed.

Don't email her telling her you like her or asking for a date.

How much have you talked with her before now? What you essentially need to do is build a good frame for yourself in a few emails and then ask for her number. Tell us a little about who she is to you and what kind of things you've talked about(and how much you've talked with her).

 

[Jammer]

Don't email her telling her you like her or asking for a date.

How much have you talked with her before now? What you essentially need to do is build a good frame for yourself in a few emails and then ask for her number. Tell us a little about who she is to you and what kind of things you've talked about(and how much you've talked with her).

Okay, I won't, for now.

My relationship with her is this: I didn't notice her until about 2 weeks ago, then I asked to look at her notes because she happened to be right there, and I saw that she has really cute handwriting (that's not why I like her). I talked to her a bit, and realized that, even though she's very quiet in class, she's a very interesting person. I decided to sit next to her in class a couple days after, and she noticed, and we talked a bit throughout class. I repeated this for the last week or so, and on Friday, she wrote her email down for another girl, and I saw it and couldn't help memorizing it (it was pretty much her name @gmail.com).

Now that I've switched classes, I've never seen her at all. I'm a little disappointed, because we got along so well, and I think we were both interested in each other.

I normally wouldn't hesitate to email her to see if we could keep our friendship/potential relationship going, but she never actually gave me her address. The last thing I want to do is be creepy, but I also don't want to just forget about her.

I'm not in love with her or anything. I just like her and enjoy being with her. I'm mostly looking for a relaxed date so we can meet outside of school.

 

[Blackadder]

Okay, I won't, for now.

My relationship with her is this: I didn't notice her until about 2 weeks ago, then I asked to look at her notes because she happened to be right there, and I saw that she has really cute handwriting (that's not why I like her). I talked to her a bit, and realized that, even though she's very quiet in class, she's a very interesting person. I decided to sit next to her in class a couple days after, and she noticed, and we talked a bit throughout class. I repeated this for the last week or so, and on Friday, she wrote her email down for another girl, and I saw it and couldn't help memorizing it (it was pretty much her name @gmail.com).

Now that I've switched classes, I've never seen her at all. I'm a little disappointed, because we got along so well, and I think we were both interested in each other.

I normally wouldn't hesitate to email her to see if we could keep our friendship/potential relationship going, but she never actually gave me her address. The last thing I want to do is be creepy, but I also don't want to just forget about her.

I'm not in love with her or anything. I just like her and enjoy being with her. I'm mostly looking for a relaxed date so we can meet outside of school.

I dunno why I'm compelled to say this, but Jammer, you're a champ.
No idea at all, but I felt the need to.

Yeah, I take back what I said before. Since she didn't give you her Email, I wouldn't email her. Most people would get a little more than freaked out if you did.

I suggest finding out a bit about her, mainly where she hangs out. Then "happen" to rock past her one day. Make it with you friends, if you feel like that'll make it all easier. Then try and make eye contact, and..I dunno, say "Hey, haven't seen you around for a while" and try and talk. Or something like that.

What have you got to lose?

 

[Requiem]

I'm currently in a relationship with cake, but people tell me it's a lie T_T.

 

[Foe]

I'm currently in a relationship with cake, but people tell me it's a lie T_T.

Don't believe them!

 

[Zorya]

My friend got slapped in the face in Wal-mart one time by his girlfriend. This happened in front of EVERYONE, because you know how busy Wal-Mart is.

She slapped him because she found out that he cheated on her. He told me that it was one of the most embarassing moments ever. He threatened to break up with her because of that incident. Can you blame her? ...or should he break up with her because of how much she embarassed him?

 

[commonyoshi]

I mean this with as much offense as possible. Your friend is a jerk. He cheats on her, and all he can think about is himself. Well, I guess he must be a selfish person to cheat in the first place. There's no doubt that his girlfriend is the one who should break up with him, not only because he's a cheater, but because he's also a selfish jerk who blames his "embarassments" on the one he hurt. Did he ever consider how embarrasing it was for her? Probably not. She could do better.

 

[Kirby knight]

My friend got slapped in the face in Wal-mart one time by his girlfriend. This happened in front of EVERYONE, because you know how busy Wal-Mart is.

She slapped him because she found out that he cheated on her. He told me that it was one of the most embarassing moments ever. He threatened to break up with her because of that incident. Can you blame her? ...or should he break up with her because of how much she embarassed him?

He's complaining because he cheated on her? He deserved to get slapped across the face. How do you think the girl felt when she found out he cheated on her? His so called embarrassment at Wal-Mart; I could say that it is almost nothing compared to the emotional stress his girlfriend was under when she found out.

-Knight

 

[HugS]

My friend got slapped in the face in Wal-mart one time by his girlfriend. This happened in front of EVERYONE, because you know how busy Wal-Mart is.

She slapped him because she found out that he cheated on her. He told me that it was one of the most embarassing moments ever. He threatened to break up with her because of that incident. Can you blame her? ...or should he break up with her because of how much she embarassed him?

Just general advice, don't make someone your girlfriend unless you are willing to commit roughly 50% of your time to her, and 100% exclusivity to her. He got slapped for cheating, for being ********, and for getting caught.

IMO, i think it's ok to be involved with more than one woman as long as your partners are not girlfriends and they know that you are not exclusively with them. If you call her a girlfriend, you better mean it. I'm actually surprised she hasn't broken up with him already. Wait, nevermind. It's not surprising. She probably loves him...?

Okay, I won't, for now.

My relationship with her is this: I didn't notice her until about 2 weeks ago, then I asked to look at her notes because she happened to be right there, and I saw that she has really cute handwriting (that's not why I like her). I talked to her a bit, and realized that, even though she's very quiet in class, she's a very interesting person. I decided to sit next to her in class a couple days after, and she noticed, and we talked a bit throughout class. I repeated this for the last week or so, and on Friday, she wrote her email down for another girl, and I saw it and couldn't help memorizing it (it was pretty much her name @gmail.com).

Now that I've switched classes, I've never seen her at all. I'm a little disappointed, because we got along so well, and I think we were both interested in each other.

I normally wouldn't hesitate to email her to see if we could keep our friendship/potential relationship going, but she never actually gave me her address. The last thing I want to do is be creepy, but I also don't want to just forget about her.

I'm not in love with her or anything. I just like her and enjoy being with her. I'm mostly looking for a relaxed date so we can meet outside of school.

Honestly, I think you should try becoming interested in someone else. It really puts your feelings for that other girl into perspective. But...if you really want this particular one, do what blackadder suggested. Find out where she hangs out, run into her (with friends), and strike up a conversation.

Do NOT give off vibes that you intended to speak to her, that's the last thing you want to do.
Girls are VERY socially intelligent. They will pick up even the slightest hints of neediness and it will usually turn them off.

 

[KevinM]

I'm kind of sick of people that say they can't get a girl because their mental issues hold them back. I've read it like I don't know how many times in this thread, and Dan was kind enough to answer with the whole positive image thing a few 100 times .

I have an extremely serious case of manic-depression, does that stop me from meeting and having relationships with girls, hell no. You'd have to be a **** fool to try and play a pity card or think that thats an excuse for not talking to a girl. You need to be confident in yourself, she's not seeing your mental disorder, she's seeing the person you ****ing present yourself as. If you present yourself as someone as weak or someone that needs pity, you might get that and have a great friend, but they'll never be in a relationship with you. If on the other hand you present yourself as someone full of confidence, no matter what internal issues you have, there really isn't a reason you can't get the girl unless you truly aren't compatible.

Take control of your own life people GG