Easy, things seem to be going good between you guys. Bring it up with her and maybe talk it out, to get rid of any misunderstanding. Four years is a helluva a long time, and I'm surprised you've been friends for that long and didn't hit relationship status yet (if you were interested in that). She seems to be giving good signs so why not go for it?
Wrong answer.
Yeah dude seriously, might as well try. Just one day be talking to her and bring it up like nothing (obvilously it's something but don't seem overly excited about it).
Wrong answer.
Now to answer your relationship question, joshisrad: Why are you buying her dinner and taking her places when she doesn't even acknowledge you as her boyfriend? It seems to me like she's taking advantage of you. I'm all for equality in a relationship, but that goes both ways: I think it's wrong that guys feel pressured to pay for everything. And when it's just a friendship, and you don't have to pay for the dinners to make them romantic, it's extra unfair.
Unless, of course, she buys you dinner all the time, but I don't think that's happening, from what I read. Or, if you have a good-paying job and she's unemployed, in which case I still don't think it's a good idea to spend all your money on her--it just makes more sense that you're doing it.
But like Frozenserpent (great name for a relationship thread, huh?) says, bring it up with her. If you've been good friends for so long, you can easily take it to the next level. Well, usually: Some girls will be very resistive to that, even though you get along so well. I guess the best you can do then is back off, and show her that being your girlfriend is fun and not at all scary.
And unless there are extenuating circumstances, stop buying her all this stuff. If you're afraid that she's only friends with you because you buy her things, well, I guess that could be true. I think you should take the chance that that isn't the case, because such a lopsided friendship is not good for you.
This is a bit of reversal: I'm usually telling guys to be nicer to girls, and here I'm telling a guy to stick up for himself.
Good luck.
Jammer is going somewhere with not paying for girls.
Don't be thinking that girls won't be taking advantage for you because they have higher ethics than that.
Think about it. If some girl you don't like offers to buy you dinner, would you go:
"I don't really like this girl, so I'm going to reject this free dinner."
Yeah, ok buddy.
The reason why I say wrong answer to these guys is that you will be falling for one of the biggest traps of your life if you ask her out at this point so blatantly.
First off... whenever you meet a girl for the first time, in the first few minutes of the interaction, they will decide whether or not you will be a potential lover or a friend.
Changing a lover to a friend is very easy. Changing a friend to a lover isn't.
I'm not saying it's not possible, but you have a lot easier time meeting a brand new girl than going with this current girl.
You saw her for Four years, and you continually buy things for her. This is bad. Very bad.
She says she likes it because she doesn't have to spend her own money? Wow. A potential gold digger? Maybe.
You are already so deep in the friend zone at this point that asking at this point will lead her to say "Let's just be friends".
There is a difference of friends and "just friends".
I've had guys tell me
"But she is the one in my life. I need to know what to do in this situation."
You've got to smell the roses buddy, to be able to get into a relationship with this specific girl will be dangerous not just to your mental health but to your wallet.
If you already set the dynamics of the relationship beforehand of buying her things, you will CONTINUALLY buy her things.
It's just stupid social programming brainwashing guys to buy affection for women.
But listen, most girls hate it when guys buy them things. Sure, maybe the first date or so is acceptable, but beyond that is just too much.
I have girls buying me more things than me buying her things. Whenever it comes to meals, we switch off every time. I don't have the money to be spending luxury dinners every night for each different girl, otherwise all my money will go down the drain.
Let me just tell you something about "the special girl" in your life. To me, there is really no such thing as the "one". It's just a type of girl that fits better for you than others. Trust me, you can find plenty of the "one" in other places.
The only thing that could potentially get you two together is if you spend some time away from each other. Start seeing new girls. If that girl sees you with other girls, she will realize that you are wanted by other girls. Girls want what other girls want. Same thing with guys too.
She will start to see you in a different light, and approach you differently.
But all in all, you should just keep her as a friend. Move on and see other girls and STOP BUYING WOMEN AFFECTION.
If you can't move on, if you are in head soak with tears for her, then go for it. Ask her out. If she says yes, wonderful. But, if she says that "we should just be friends" then just move on and don't cry about it. Learn from this. If what you did made her reject you, then what do you need to do to change? Stop buying girls dinner and gifts all the time? That sounds like a start.
And my credentials?
I'm 19, but I don't like to kiss and tell. That's confidential material. Plus, I really don't give a **** to tell the world how many girls I've laid. My relationships with women are for me and her only, not for others.
