PurDi
Smash Journeyman
Link to original post: [drupal=3119]GAH! I'm so anxious![/drupal]
Read if you want... no longer applies...
So this is gonna be my first blog EVER. I've never made one in my life and right now is the only time I've need to just get everything out.
(It's about starting a relationship, so if you don't wanna read it, I already warned you.)
So a little back-story first.
I've liked this girl forever. Since freshmen year to be exact. The first day of that semester I came to class. Sat through a while just observing the people that I'd be seeing for the next eighteen weeks. My eyes got stuck on this girl at the opposite corner of the classroom, she was obviously quiet but I couldn't stop looking at her! I was already thinking about what I should do and how I should get to know her.
(I used to be INSANELY shy. There was probably no way I would start talking to her unless something made me.)
It carried on this way for about six weeks, she hadn't noticed me once (I think) because I was at the back of the room. after that six weeks ended, the teacher made a new seating chart. 'Great! Maybe I'll be sitting by her.' I was thinking to myself. Turns out, I was in luck. She sat in the desk in front of me for the next six weeks.
I don't remember when, but sometime in that six weeks she turned around and introduced herself to me. It was great, I wasn't even doing anything and all the peices were falling into place! We talked everyday in that class from then on, sometimes disturbing the class and getting in trouble but we really enjoyed talking to each other. We both felt like we didn't belong in the class, most of the other kids in there were pretty senseless and weren't very smart. We talked to each other because we felt smarter than everyone else. (I know I'm sounding kinda ridiculous making fun of all these kids, but this is truly how both of us felt.)
So the third six weeks comes along and I'm hoping our seats don't get move away from each other. We both got moved but we were still really close. It was as we were switching seats that I realized I really liked her. It took a simple seating chart and the possibility of moving away from her to make me think it. How silly is that?
So near the end of the year I asked to talk with her after school. I was going to ask her out. I demanded that I do it. So I did. I asked her out after school one day. It wasn't to anything fancy, I just wanted her with me. That's when I got a strange reply. After I asked she just smiled at me, not a 'I knew you were gonna ask' smile but an actually sincere 'I really like you' smile. I was really happy for that instant, but then her smile vanished and a sigh came out. My heart dropped. She said 'I can't, not yet.' I asked her why and she just said 'I'm not sixteen, my parents won't let me.'
I left it at that, we still talked but not like we used to. The year was coming to an end and she gave me her e-mail address. Not her phone number... Her e-mail. I was cursing in my head. Why would she do that?
Summer started and she was all I could think about, all I wanted, and I couldn't do anything without something reminding me of her.
So halfway through the summer I e-mailed her, found out she had made a Facebook and found her on there. We talked forever, sometimes sitting in front of the computer messaging each other for hours upon end. It was great! I was finally getting to talk with her again. She sent me her phone number because she was really sad that summer. I called her the first night and we talked until the wee hours of the morning. And I called her every night from then on. We were so happy with each other!
School started and we didn't have any classes together the first semester but we had one second semester! I was really excited until she lost her phone one day. She didn't have it for a long time so I just stopped trying to call her. I didn't know if she really lost her phone or if she had 'lost' her phone. Everything was falling apart. I was tearing my self to peices asking myself if it was my fault. What did I do wrong?
So we got to the second semester and I was really excited to see her, but I just couldn't get myself to talk to her. I felt that I messed something up and I didn't have the courage to fix it. We talked maybe twice that whole eighteen weeks. I still liked her, I missed her.
We kept in contact over texts but it wasn't much, just checking up on each other every couple of months.
So time went on, and on, and on. Until the middle of this year, our senior year. I still thought about her, but my mind had been on other girls since then. Nothing seemed to work out, I just wanted 'her.' So I texted her a few days ago, I've been having problems at my work and I asked for her advice. Surprisingly, instead of texting me back, she called me immediately. I was flustered and I almost didn't answer it. We talked for hours again, into the morning, until we realized how long we had been talking.
So we've been talking a bunch and I asked her if she'd been watching the Olympics. (I have some overwhelming interest with the skating portions, mainly the speed skating) She said she loved watching the skating events. 'Heck yea!' So we got to talking about how much we wanted to go try it just last week. She suggested we both go so that if one of us falls the other can help them up.
Now I wanna ask her to go with me. I want it so bad, but I'm reluctant to do it. I still don't know if she truly likes me. But I'm not scared of the rejection anymore. It took me a while to figure it out; I'm scared of 'why' she wouldn't accept the invitation, not the rejection itself.
She works a lot. And when I say a lot, I mean it. Five days a week and she's in college (she graduated early) the other two days. I wanna go give her some flowers at the end of one of her shifts at work but I don't know if I should leave them there for her to find or if I should be there to give them to her in person.
There are pros and cons for both. Her finding it wouldn't put her on the spot and she'd have some time to think it over but it seems like I'm a wimp... Being there when she gets them makes me seems confident but I may just completely melt in front of her. Also, if she doesn't want to go it'd be really awkward for both of us.
What should I do? I need help, and I'm really nervous about it.
By the way, sorry for the wall of text...
Read if you want... no longer applies...
So this is gonna be my first blog EVER. I've never made one in my life and right now is the only time I've need to just get everything out.
(It's about starting a relationship, so if you don't wanna read it, I already warned you.)
So a little back-story first.
I've liked this girl forever. Since freshmen year to be exact. The first day of that semester I came to class. Sat through a while just observing the people that I'd be seeing for the next eighteen weeks. My eyes got stuck on this girl at the opposite corner of the classroom, she was obviously quiet but I couldn't stop looking at her! I was already thinking about what I should do and how I should get to know her.
(I used to be INSANELY shy. There was probably no way I would start talking to her unless something made me.)
It carried on this way for about six weeks, she hadn't noticed me once (I think) because I was at the back of the room. after that six weeks ended, the teacher made a new seating chart. 'Great! Maybe I'll be sitting by her.' I was thinking to myself. Turns out, I was in luck. She sat in the desk in front of me for the next six weeks.
I don't remember when, but sometime in that six weeks she turned around and introduced herself to me. It was great, I wasn't even doing anything and all the peices were falling into place! We talked everyday in that class from then on, sometimes disturbing the class and getting in trouble but we really enjoyed talking to each other. We both felt like we didn't belong in the class, most of the other kids in there were pretty senseless and weren't very smart. We talked to each other because we felt smarter than everyone else. (I know I'm sounding kinda ridiculous making fun of all these kids, but this is truly how both of us felt.)
So the third six weeks comes along and I'm hoping our seats don't get move away from each other. We both got moved but we were still really close. It was as we were switching seats that I realized I really liked her. It took a simple seating chart and the possibility of moving away from her to make me think it. How silly is that?
So near the end of the year I asked to talk with her after school. I was going to ask her out. I demanded that I do it. So I did. I asked her out after school one day. It wasn't to anything fancy, I just wanted her with me. That's when I got a strange reply. After I asked she just smiled at me, not a 'I knew you were gonna ask' smile but an actually sincere 'I really like you' smile. I was really happy for that instant, but then her smile vanished and a sigh came out. My heart dropped. She said 'I can't, not yet.' I asked her why and she just said 'I'm not sixteen, my parents won't let me.'
I left it at that, we still talked but not like we used to. The year was coming to an end and she gave me her e-mail address. Not her phone number... Her e-mail. I was cursing in my head. Why would she do that?
Summer started and she was all I could think about, all I wanted, and I couldn't do anything without something reminding me of her.
So halfway through the summer I e-mailed her, found out she had made a Facebook and found her on there. We talked forever, sometimes sitting in front of the computer messaging each other for hours upon end. It was great! I was finally getting to talk with her again. She sent me her phone number because she was really sad that summer. I called her the first night and we talked until the wee hours of the morning. And I called her every night from then on. We were so happy with each other!
School started and we didn't have any classes together the first semester but we had one second semester! I was really excited until she lost her phone one day. She didn't have it for a long time so I just stopped trying to call her. I didn't know if she really lost her phone or if she had 'lost' her phone. Everything was falling apart. I was tearing my self to peices asking myself if it was my fault. What did I do wrong?
So we got to the second semester and I was really excited to see her, but I just couldn't get myself to talk to her. I felt that I messed something up and I didn't have the courage to fix it. We talked maybe twice that whole eighteen weeks. I still liked her, I missed her.
We kept in contact over texts but it wasn't much, just checking up on each other every couple of months.
So time went on, and on, and on. Until the middle of this year, our senior year. I still thought about her, but my mind had been on other girls since then. Nothing seemed to work out, I just wanted 'her.' So I texted her a few days ago, I've been having problems at my work and I asked for her advice. Surprisingly, instead of texting me back, she called me immediately. I was flustered and I almost didn't answer it. We talked for hours again, into the morning, until we realized how long we had been talking.
So we've been talking a bunch and I asked her if she'd been watching the Olympics. (I have some overwhelming interest with the skating portions, mainly the speed skating) She said she loved watching the skating events. 'Heck yea!' So we got to talking about how much we wanted to go try it just last week. She suggested we both go so that if one of us falls the other can help them up.
Now I wanna ask her to go with me. I want it so bad, but I'm reluctant to do it. I still don't know if she truly likes me. But I'm not scared of the rejection anymore. It took me a while to figure it out; I'm scared of 'why' she wouldn't accept the invitation, not the rejection itself.
She works a lot. And when I say a lot, I mean it. Five days a week and she's in college (she graduated early) the other two days. I wanna go give her some flowers at the end of one of her shifts at work but I don't know if I should leave them there for her to find or if I should be there to give them to her in person.
There are pros and cons for both. Her finding it wouldn't put her on the spot and she'd have some time to think it over but it seems like I'm a wimp... Being there when she gets them makes me seems confident but I may just completely melt in front of her. Also, if she doesn't want to go it'd be really awkward for both of us.
What should I do? I need help, and I'm really nervous about it.
By the way, sorry for the wall of text...
