Amazing Quotes

[BBQTV]

when it is not necessary to make a decision
it is necessary not to make a decision


my motto

 

[pass the syrup]

My sig has some good ones! And here is more...


Frodo: I can't do this, Sam.

Sam: I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.

Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?

Sam: That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for.



"Now you will receive us. We do not ask for your poor or your hungry. We do not want your tired and sick. It is your corrupt we claim. It is your evil that will be sought by us. With every breath, we shall hunt them down. Each day we will spill their blood til it rains down from the skies. Do not kill, do not ****, do not steal, these are principles which every man of every faith can embrace. These are not polite suggestions. These are codes of behavior and those of you that ignore them will pay the dearest cost. There are varying degrees of evil, we urge you lesser forms of filth not to push the bounds and cross over into true corruption, into our domain. But if you do, one day you will look behind you and you will see we three and on that day you will reap it. And we will send you to which ever god you wish. And shepherds we shall be, for thee my Lord for thee, power hath descended forth from thy hand, that our feet may swiftly carry out thy command. We shall flow a river forth to thee, and teeming with souls shall it ever be. In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti"

-The Boondock Saints

Those are epic. And here's on last one just for fun...

"what if carmen sandiego and waldo had a baby? i think it would be invisible"

 

[321BOOM]

Wall-E: Tadaa!

GetTheReference

 

[Frank West]

"The quickest way to a girl's heart is through her parents. Have sex with them and you're in."

"I hate these filthy neutrals. at least with enemies you know where they stand...with neutrals who knows..."

"what makes a man turn neutral? Lust for gold? power? or were you just born with a heart full of neutrality?!"

"It's built like a steakhouse, but handles like a bistro"

"why'd you open your bong hole you smelly hippie? you'd sacrifice a beautiful women to save a moderately attractive monkey? you must've smoked some bad granola..."

"can't you ask a little more sexfully?"

"i've had sex with a hot alien babe...and after all, is that not what man has dreamt of ever since he first looked at the stars?"

- Zapp Brannigan​

 

[Jonkku]

"I shall now go pleasure myself by rubbing my belly and chanting 'Mmmmm... Lasagna!'" -- Don't remember who said it.

 

[BBQTV]

He's coding! Get me a box of kittens, STAT!

I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.
— Evil Overlord List, Rule 34

If you can't draw, never fear, just steal some graphics from your favorite video game. And add yet another unlicensed pixel comic to the overcrowded, overstunk landfill of web comics.
—Strong Bad

 

[stabbedbyanipple]

"Because in melee and in life there is no limit" - Insane Carzy Guy

 

[Tacel]

"I don't lie. I just make up stories." – Social Studies Teacher

 

[.Marik]

"You never know what you have until its gone."

So much truth in that sentence it's unbelievable.

 

[Yink]

"The World is full of obvious things that no one by any chance will ever notice." - Sherlock Holmes

 

[SharkAttack]

"Gutenberg's generation thirsted for a new book every six months! Your generation gets a new web page every 6 seconds. And how do you use this technology? To try and beat King Koopa, and rescue the princess. Shame on you. You deserve what you get." - Mr. George Feeny

Yeah, if I'd spent more time on learning new things instead of playing Nintendo all the time as a child I'd be much more intelligent today. At least I rescued the princess.

 

[PyroChameleon]

Video games are bad for you?That's what they said about Rock and Roll.----SHIGERU MIYAMOTO

"Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."

"He who laughs last didn't get it."

"After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."

"There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."

"Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757

"To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer."
Paul Ehrlich.

 

[OlimarFan]

"All that is necessary for evil to triumph is that good men do nothing."

-Edmund Burke

 

[Patinator]

"I'm makin' a rocket out of MEAT."

"I reject your reality, and substitute my own!"

-Adam Savage

...Well, I guess they're less amazing than they are funny.

 

[jugfingers]

The fish trap exists because of the fish. Once you've gotten the fish you can forget the trap. The rabbit snare exists because of the rabbit. Once you've gotten the rabbit, you can forget the snare. Words exist because of their meaning. Once you've got the meaning, you can forget the words. Where can I find a man who has forgotten words so I can talk with him? -Chuang Tzu

my ***** zhuangzi!

Support peace or I'll kill you.
-Anonymous

lols

My friend:

"Paying someone minimum wage is pretty much like saying 'Hey, I wish I could pay you less, but that'd be illegal!'"

lols.





that scribblenauts story was really funny also.



"If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone."

-Jack handey

 

[DaisyBoo92]

"Crazy old Maurice... Hmm?" - Gaston

 

[Charlesz]

Frankly my dear, I don't give a ****

- Clark Gables

 

[VodkaHaze]

Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true! - Homer Simpson
The hallmark of intelligence is not whether one believes in God or not, but the quality of the processes that underlie one’s beliefs. - Alister McGrath

 

[Sephiroths Masamune]

"You don't think I'm funny? You want me to tell a joke? ok here's one knock knock?"

"Whos there?"

"Go **** yourself!" -Tom Hanks catch me if you can

 

[pitskeyblade]

"You may beat me, but I'll give you a hard time while you do it."

 

[Untrust Us]

"For a long time it gave me nightmares, having to witness an injustice like that. It was a constant reminder of how unfair this world can be. I can still hear them taunting him, silly rabbit trix are for kids. How come they couldn't just give him some cereal? - Carlton Banks

 

[orange/xd]

"The Earth is the cradle of the mind, but one cannot eternally live in a cradle." - Konstantin Tsiolkovsky

 

[Sephiroths Masamune]

"For a long time it gave me nightmares, having to witness an injustice like that. It was a constant reminder of how unfair this world can be. I can still hear them taunting him, silly rabbit trix are for kids. How come they couldn't just give him some cereal? - Carlton Banks

lol that was a great episode too

"I think, therefore I am"-René Descartes

 

[SharkAttack]

"For a long time it gave me nightmares, having to witness an injustice like that. It was a constant reminder of how unfair this world can be. I can still hear them taunting him, silly rabbit trix are for kids. How come they couldn't just give him some cereal? - Carlton Banks

Lol that quote made me laugh. That is so Carlton Banks.

"Pressure is nothing more than the shadow of great opportunity" Michael Johnson

 

[Yink]

"They've done studies you know. 60% of the time it works, everytime." - Brian Fantana (Anchorman)

 

[Sephiroths Masamune]

"Did you know 99% of statistics are made up?" -Unknown

 

[Liquid-117]

"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road" - Henry Ward Beecher.

 

[Teran]

"Y'all *****s postin' in a troll thread!" - Middle aged black man pointing finger condescendingly.

 

[Terywj [태리]]

"In Algebra II we learned i was a number. In PreCalculus we learned e was a number. By the time we're done with college we won't have any vowels anymore." -Me

"A crust of bread is better than nothing. Nothing is better than true love. Therefore, by the transitive property, a crust of bread is better than true love." -Anon.

My mom: "As long as you try and put your heart into it you can accomplish anything."
Me: "Except fly."

-Terywj

 

[¯\_S.(ツ).L.I.D._/¯]

"For a long time it gave me nightmares, having to witness an injustice like that. It was a constant reminder of how unfair this world can be. I can still hear them taunting him, silly rabbit trix are for kids. How come they couldn't just give him some cereal? - Carlton Banks

**** yeah Fresh Prince.

 

[jugfingers]

I'll never forget the time I got caught stealing watermelons from old Mr. Barnslow's watermelon patch. I was with my friend Bobby. We were giggling so hard I thought I'd wet my pants! At first we tried to steal two watermelons each, but they were too heavy and we dropped them, and that made us laugh even harder. Finally, we each picked out a good one, and we were just about to sneak back through the fence when we heard a low, deep voice behind us. "Just where do you think you're going with those watermelons?" I gulped and turned around. It was old Mr. Barnslow, pointing his shotgun at us. Bobby dropped his watermelon, then pulled out the .38 revolver he kept in his waist, turned, and fired. But the turning must have thrown off his aim, because the shot only hit Mr. Barnslow in the thigh. Mr. Barnslow immediately fired both barrels at Bobby. One blast of buckshot missed entirely, but the other tore into Bobby's shoulder. He tried to fire back, but his shoulder was so torn up he couldn't raise his arm. Just as he was trying to switch to his left hand, Mr. Barnslow ran up and cracked him across the face with the butt of his shotgun. Bobby fell to the ground in a heap. Mr. Barnslow raised the butt of his gun to finish him off, but just then Bobby pulled out his hunting knife and plunged it into the farmer's big white belly. After that, I don't think I stole watermelons for at least a year.

- Jack Handey

 

[Dre89]

Didn't read the entire thread so sorry if some of these we're already posted-

"I spent 90% of money on boos, girls, and fast cars, the rest I just wasted"- George Best

"If a man wants to make millions of dollars, he should start his own religion"- Ron Hubbard, founder of Scientology

"I had a near-death experience, my bedroom ceiling collapsed when I wasn't there, I appreciated life for like three days after that"- Unknown

" I have a friend Dave in Australia, do you know him?" Some American talking to an Aussie he jus met.

"Do you guys have dates over there?" Another American talking to the same Aussie.

 

[Terywj [태리]]

"Girl Interrupte- ***** make me a sandwich!"

-Terywj

 

[VodkaHaze]

"Trying is the first step towards failure" Homer Simpson
I live by these wise words.

 

[Terywj [태리]]

"I'm not in denial. I'm just very selective about the reality I accept." -Calvin, from Calvin and Hobbes.

-Terywj

 

[Dr_Twist]

dang lol i thought i has such a great idea when ithought of making a thead like this but beat me to the punch by a MILE. heres my favorite quotes

-For a Brother, a punch is acceptance, silence is understanding, and a tap is love.
-anonymous^

"people make fun of what they dont understand" -My Science teacher Mr. Schafer

 

[BlargCow]

"We are the proud parents of a child who's self-esteem is sufficient enough that he doesn't need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car."

 

[Dr_Twist]

HAHA thats GREAT blargcow just great lol

 

[Velox]

you guys are missing some of the best quotes......

"Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen. "

"Everyone should be respected as an individual, but no one idolized. "

"Everything should be as simple as it is, but not simpler. "

"Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions. "

"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. "

"He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice. "

"Human beings must have action; and they will make it if they cannot find it. "

"If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor."

"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough. "

"It should be possible to explain the laws of physics to a barmaid. "

"Knowledge of what is does not open the door directly to what should be. "

"Never do anything against conscience even if the state demands it. "

"Only one who devotes himself to a cause with his whole strength and soul can be a true master. For this reason mastery demands all of a person."

"People love chopping wood. In this activity one immediately sees results. "

"Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding. "

"The only source of knowledge is experience. "

and finally my favorite.. "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

- all of these are by Albert Einstein

 

[BladeOfHavoc]

This one happened during a very serious ssbm match between me and my rival Alexx, he said it (he was Bowser and I was young Link)


"I am a homosexual, mutated koopa-troopa, now take it to the face like a man. It's how I roll."