Wario Wario Wario

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 20, 2021

I felt it'd be fun to do a roster for that fake "Smash Bros. Memories" leak from years ago. Irrelevance is more of a determining factor than age or un/popularity for this roster, and it's written from the perspective of today, not 2012

King K. Rool
Donkey Kong Jr.
Lanky Kong
Kiddy Kong
Stanley
Geno
Vivian
Captain Syrup
Foreman Spike
Tingle
Skull Kid
Midna
Ghirahim
Adeleine
Dashing Super Guy
Ivysaur
Lucy Fleetfoot
Shadow Lugia
Captain Falcon
Black Shadow
Ness
Kumatora
Lloyd (Mother)
Ice Climbers
Mr. G&W
Pit
ROB
Little Mac
King Hippo
Duck Hunt
Muddy Mole
Jinbe
Jill & Drill Dozer
Tin Star
Ted & Archie
The Amazon
Bubbles
Excitebiker
Isaac
Chibi-Robo
Mallo (Pullblox)
Bonanza Bros.
Space Invader
Banjo-Kazooie
Plok

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 20, 2021

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 20, 2021

AU where Smash is a "partner" system.

Mario and Stanley
Luigi and Nabbit
Peach and Pauline
Daisy and Tatanga
Bowser and Boom Boom
Dr. Mario and Nurse Toadstool
Rosalina and Lubba
Bowser Jr. and Chuckster
Donkey Kong and Funky Kong
Diddy Kong and Dixie Kong
King K. Rool and Kloak
Link and Kass
Zelda and Marin
Sheik and Impa
Ganondorf and Skull Kid
Young Link and Tingle
Toon Link and Tetra
Samus and the baby Metroid
Dark Samus and Sylux
Zero Suit Samus and Adam Malkovich
Ridley and Kraid
Yoshi and the Stork
Kirby and Adeleine
King Dedede and Waddle Dee
Meta Knight and the Meta Knights
Fox and Krystal
Falco and Peppy
Wolf and Andross
Pikachu and Emolga
Jigglypuff and Onix
Pichu and Igglybuff
Mewtwo and Genesect
Pokémon Trainer and Todd Snap
Lucario and Zoroark
Greninja and Sceptile
Incineroar and Machamp
Ness and Paula
Lucas and Kumatora
Captain Falcon and Bio Rex
Ice Climbers and Bubbles
fire emblem omitted because i cant tell these characters apart
Mr. Game & Watch and Virtual Boy
Pit and Magnus
Dark Pit and Viridi
Palutena and Phosphora
Wario and Ashley
Snake and Otacon
Sonic and Tails
Olimar and Bulborb
ROB and Professor Hector
Villager and Tom Nook
Isabelle and Crazy Redd
Mega Man and Roll
Wii Fit Trainer and Dr. Kawashima
Little Mac and Doc Louis
Pac-Man and Mappy
Shulk and Fiora
Duck Hunt and Tin Star
Ryu and Chun-Li
Ken and Blanka
Cloud and Barret
Bayonetta and Jeanne
Inkling and Squid Sisters
Simon and Alucard
Richter and Trevor
Mii Brawler and Party Phil
Mii Swordfighter and Wooden Shop Keeper
Mii Gunner and Nico Flame
Piranha Plant and Strollin' Stu
Joker and Morgana
Hero and Slime
Banjo-Kazooie and Mumbo Jumbo
Terry and Iori
Min Min and Spring Man
Steve and Creeper
Sephiroth and Kefka
Pyra/Mythra and Rex
Kazuya and Heihachi

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 20, 2021

Just found out Young Cricket is voiced by SwaySway.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 20, 2021

the simpsons season 50 episode 17 bart gets cbt in front of a live studio audience

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 19, 2021

If I was making a list of the "100 most influential games of all time" I honestly think only three Nintendo-published games would make the list - Super Mario Bros, Super Mario 64, and Donkey Kong Country.

EarthBound and Animal Crossing's influences on indie gaming could make them candidates for inclusion if there were more open slots, but other than that Nintendo hasn't had the biggest impact post-80s.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 19, 2021

Had a go at designing an Space Invader Smash sprite - specifically an uppercut to be used as an up tilt or up air. It was very tough to 1. keep Crab on-model so it didn't look like a public domain alternative, and 2. make it clear which area is attacking while using a single frame with barely any pixels. Making overlap points between limbs and the body grey helped a lot.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 19, 2021

I never thought I'd ever say this, but the Space Invaders Funko Pop is a really good reference as to how it could look in Smash.

I'd say combine those dimensions with the glow and texture from the road safety PSA and you've got the perfect SI Smash design.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 19, 2021

Nintendo brought back the Hell Valley Sky Trees before Toadsworth

The Mario Mandate works in mysterious ways.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 19, 2021

If this movie came out today, every community on this planet would be offended.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 19, 2021

Has there ever been an arcade platform fighter? Like, actual official mass-produced arcade machine in mainstream amusement centres and restaurants?

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 19, 2021

I've been noticing an increase of 80s arcade-style indie games, which I am all for.

I guess part of it is the 2000s nostalgia boom, as arcade rereleases like Namco Museum were hot in the naughties - it's like one generation getting caught in the crossfire of another's nostalgia! I wonder if when the 2010s kids get to make their own games 90s anemoia will rise back.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 19, 2021

One of my most anticipated Switch releases for a while now.

Yo! Are you ready to Switch things up next month when Antonball Deluxe lands on the Nintendo eShop? 😏 #Nindies pic.twitter.com/GjO8xHdhZc
— ANTONBLAST IS GOTY 💥 (@Summitsphere) August 16, 2021

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 19, 2021

ToeJam & Earl and Norm of the North are the only good corporate Twitters.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 19, 2021

I'd easily settle for ATs of my two most wanteds (Muddy and Jill)

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 19, 2021

Another fun little roster game for me, Sakurai (and Nintendo for later instalments) gets control of fighters, I get control of stages.

Smash 64:
Bob-Omb Battlefield
Kongo Jungle
Hyrule Castle
Planet Zebes
Super Happy Tree
Green Greens (rename of Dream Land)
Lylat Cruise
Pokémon Stadium
Bowser's Castle

Melee:
Battlefield
Final Destination
Peach's Castle
Airship
Mushroom Kingdom
Kongo Falls
Bramble Blast
Sword on Cliff (as in Zelda 2's title)
Temple
Brinstar
Yoshi's Story
Yoshi's Island (based on SMW2, not World.)
Fountain of Dreams
Halberd
Corneria
Venom
Saffron City
Mute City
Onett
Icicle Mountain
Subcon (rename of Mushroom Kingdom 2)
Brinstar Depths
Poké Floats
Big Blue
Fourside
Flat Zone (what we know as Flat Zone X)

Brawl:
Delfino Plaza
Mushroomy Kingdom
Rainbow Road
WarioWare, Inc.
Rumble Falls
Clock Town
Norfair
Frigate Orpheon
Hop! Hop! Donut Lifts
Butter Building
Krazoa Palace
Poké Floats 2
Port Town Aero Dive
Castle Siege
Forest of Hope (rename of Distant Planet)
New Pork City
Gyromite
Mario's Cement Factory
Skyworld
Shadow Moses Island
Luigi's Mansion
Pirate Ship
Spear Pillar
25M
Mario Bros.
Wii Menu
Kuru Kuru Kururin
Green Hill Zone

3DS and Wii U shared
Boxing Ring
Duck Hunt
Gaur Plain

3DS:
3D Land
Golden Plains
Maple Treeway
Sarasaland GB
Geudo Valley
Spirit Train
Butter Building
Kalos Pokémon League
Prism Tower
Mute City SNES
Magicant
Arena Ferox
Reset Bomb Forest
Tortimer Island
Pullblox
Living Room
Pilotwings
Tomodachi Life
PictoChat
Central Highway
Pac-Land

Wii U:
Big Battlefield
Mushroom Kingdom U
Comet Observatory
Hisstocrat
Mine Cart Madness
Skyloft
SR388
Prince Froggy's Belly
Rainbow Route
Orbital Gate Assault
Unova Pokémon League
Coliseum
Flat Zone 2
Palutena's Temple
Awazon River Basin
Garden of Hope
Town & City
Obstacle Course
Sanderson Family Home
Jinbe Land
Wuhu Island
Casino Night Zone
Wily Castle
Pac-Maze
Miiverse

DLC:
Same as it is

Ultimate:
Steam Gardens
Future Hyrule Castle
Ancho-V Games
Dracula's Castle

Ultimate DLC:
Velvet Room
Yggdrasil's Altar
Spiral Mountain
KoF Stadium
Garreg Mach Monastery
Ramen Bowl
Minecraft World
Northen Cave
Cloud Sea (rename)
Mishima Dojo

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 19, 2021

Donkey Kong Country 3 and Sonic CD are testament to how important level design is to platformers. They control and function almost one-to-one with the rest of their series, they just don't have the stages to back it up.

In a weird way, Crash Warped proves the same thing in the opposite way - Crash has a ton of needless power-ups and abilities, and half the stages are horrid vehicle levels, but the platforming levels are so well-designed they mitigate those issues so much they may as well not exist.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 19, 2021

I just misread "BDSP" as "BDSM". First Sun & Moon, now this!?

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 19, 2021

My game's protagonist is close to a pacifist as a platformer protagonist can be - every boss battle begins with him trying to reason with the enemy but, because he's a dumb 11 year old who doesn't know any words longer than 4 syllables, he ultimately has to resort to the old Goomba stomp.

That being said, I think my idea of him flinching uncomfortably while doing his kick attack was a little too far. Yeah, not going through with that one. Disposable enemies get no mercy unfortunately.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 19, 2021

I don't like the "Diddy Kong Racing shared universe" theory because it implies the Great Mighty Poo exists in the Mario universe.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 19, 2021

I kinda wish they made it so when Steve mines Gogoat the beef food item comes out - maybe a little morbid for Smash though, given that it generally stays humour-free, even with comical characters like Banjo.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 19, 2021

Honestly I feel Sonic's Smash music selection is below average - at least as a classic fan. There's only 5 classic Zone themes and 3 of them are only there to make an acronym pun.

Super Sonic Racing was a top-tier music choice though.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 19, 2021

Bubsy 2 likely has the most disproportionate game length-to-song count ratio in gaming history.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 19, 2021

When you start a job at Google, you get a colourful propeller hat that reads "Noogler"

I've read that Google employees aren't forced to wear Noogler hats, and I'm not sure if that makes it better (Google aren't forcing people to embarass themselves) or worse (people are embarassing themselves by choice.)

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 19, 2021

Imagine trying to explain Minecraft to a late 90s (PS1/N64/Saturn)-era kid.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 19, 2021

"Geno main" "Geno's frame data" "Geno's matchups" "highest ranked Geno player in the LA area" "Geno's best stages"

These phrases sound horribly wrong to me. Vulgar almost

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 18, 2021

The single worst game design decision in Smash history - possibly Nintendo history as a whole - is the rightmost cloud on Super Happy Tree. Why is it there, and why did they keep it when they brought back the stage in SSBU? At best it encourages camping! Shame too, one of the most aesthetically pleasing stages in the series.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 18, 2021

Release The Nc Seventeen Cut Of Adam Sandlers Pixels With Uncensored Josh Gad On Qbert Action Change Dot Org

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 18, 2021

Since fake Mario spin-off rosters are always on the mind for me, I decided to make a roster for the cancelled Mario Spikers game - albeit an extremely conservative roster that exclusively uses charactsrs who I feel are fit for wrestling, regardless of popularity or marketability.

Mario
Wario
Bowser
Roy
Morton
Daisy
Boom Boom
Pom Pom
DK
Funky Kong
K. Rool
Klump
Lord Fredrik
Rambi
Birdetta
Spewart
Foreman Spike
Spike
Hammer Bro.
Petey Piranha
King Bob-Omb
Chargin’ Chuck
Whomp King
Mouser
Dribble
Captain Syrup

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 18, 2021

45 points again, this time we're making Mario Kart.

20	Geno	K. Rool	Ashley	Vivian	Oogtar	Marty	Dimentio	Fawful	Sonic
10	Goomba	Jimmy T.	Boom Boom	Kamek	Cappy	Chain Chomp	Cranky Kong	Captain Syrup	Captain Falcon
8	Poochy	Fever, Chill and Weird	Rambi	E. Gadd	Broodals	Midbus	Mouser	Orbulon	Kirby
6	Dribble and Spitz	Hammer Bro	Plessie	Lanky Kong	Helen Graveley	Toadsworth	Foreman Spike	Mona	Pikachu
5	Penguin	The Stork	Tatanga	Pianta	Stanley	Biddybud	Conkdor	Pokey	Squid Sisters
3	Sidestepper	Motley Bossblob	Aqualea	Xananab	Burt the Bashful	Pak E. Derm	Dangerous Duck	Steam Gardener	Zelda
1	Bronze Luigi	Baby Pauline	Tiny Wario	Parabones	Baby Yoshi	Geriatric Mario	Vampire Wario	Yarn Yoshi	K.K. Slider

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 18, 2021

Wow! Thanks for telling me the release date of every single game except the one I'm looking for!

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 18, 2021

I like how, intentionally or not, the 4 Mario universe platforming protags appeal to different stages of life.

Yoshi is cute and lives in a crayon world with usually easy platforming, perfect for kids who just barely count in the "3+" age range
Mario is a standard all-around hero in standard all-around games, the sort of character you idolise when you're only just about to break out of the single-digits
Wario is lazy, gross, and greedy. He fights a mix of nightmare inducing creatures and wimpy freaks in really unconventional game styles, very resonant with a teen demographic trying to break the rules and slowly understanding complex morality beyond just "good and bad".
Donkey Kong is just a chill dude who loves family, friends, and food. His games are hard and tend to be a bit on the artistic side in terms of soundtrack and levels. Not mature or edgy, but there's a slight pinch of adult sensibility to him.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 18, 2021

Regular Waddle Dee >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Bandanna Waddle Dee.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 18, 2021

That seems a little counter-intuitive

I have a love-hate relationship these best/worst TV show wikis, most of the points they make are utterly terrible and sometimes the qualities they mention are the exact opposite of how they're framing them - it's basically TVTropes Mr. Enter style - but it's kinda addictive, like a car crash you can't look back from, and they occasionally, very rarely, make decent points.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 18, 2021

As a kid I always thought the stick figure portion of the Tom & Jerry Tales intro were supposed to be blueprints, since the designs from it were used in a blueprint map screen in the Tom & Jerry Tales DS game - however, as I grew older I eventually started to think the DS game influenced me to see them as blueprints and they moreso intended as a reference to storyboards with an aesthetically pleasing dark blue as opposed to the blinding white usually found on paper

Now my 6 year old self is finally validated, as I have learned that that scene was intended as a tribute to a blueprint-themed original Tom & Jerry short. That was an absolute rollercoaster of a 5-minute Google, let me tell you.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 18, 2021

Why do people like analysing the "warped psychology" of Wimpy Kid characters so much? Like, it was funny when Mumkey Jones did it but now it's become a ridiculous genre of its own.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 18, 2021

Kaptain K. Rool should be a clone, not an alt.

This is the hill I will die on.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 18, 2021

I really hope Nintendo don't shift their focus to open world games from now on. I may just not buy Nintendo's next console if they're gonna abandon linearity like they abandonded 2D for the N64 and Cube.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 18, 2021

Here's some highlight pun stage names from my planned game

Sun Nova Beach
Saint Entso Baptist Church
Under FUNstruction
In Hot Fursuit
It's Hip to Chuck Trees
Pitfall Hurry
Slippery Slope Facility

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 18, 2021

It's kinda cool how SSBU made Pak E. Derm timed to Randall like in PM

Wario Wario Wario

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