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Ben Holt
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  • Courageous you are to accept the dare. Only the brave and the clever could care. Make haste, and you will come to rue. Make sure what you have is sound and true. Under the forum games (be thorough)is your next clue. Next to the bird you'll find your help. Indeed the moose will utter the yelp. Chaos unnecessary, you will see. A highlight is clear when it comes from me. Test me on this; it is not hard, for I shall quote a famous bard. Oh, and if this post seems dreadfully long, let it be clear... Never overlook that which is near!
    Ridley64
    Ridley64
    A moose once bit my sister.
    Ben Holt
    Ben Holt
    I'm drunk as ****, so it's hard to even read white on black without blur, so I'll check again tomorrow.
    I don't want to play games.
    I just want to be with you.
    I don't want to be teased; I want to be promised forever.
    You're too precious to risk losing over a poorly executed flirt.
    I just want to be honest with my feelings. I just want you to know my passion.

    If you could read my heart, you'd know that letting this passion go to waste would be profane.
    Uh-oh.
    I feel a sad coming...
    Doc Monocle
    Doc Monocle
    Why do you say that?
    Ben Holt
    Ben Holt
    Nothing happened in particular.
    Just existential stuff knowing that my crush hasn't texted me in a while, and I remember that people generally don't like me.
    My heart, it bleeds for those I can't save.
    International governments never behave.
    My heart, it bleeds. I'm trying my best.
    But lately, it seems like I'm bleeding to death.
    YouTube says that comparing people to animals constitutes hate speech.
    But I'll be damned if I insult gorillas by comparing them to Republicans!
    The UK's pretty cool, but I don't want to live in a country where I'm not allowed to make faces at the Royal Guard or to call the queen a c***.
    I probably wouldn't do it anyway, but by hell I want the option!
    Confession time:
    I have an extremely soft spot for people with mental illness. YouTube started recommending me Sweet Anita videos, and I can't help but wanting to hug her and tell her that everything's ok.
    Furthermore, my ideal woman has a minor mental illness like anxiety or depression, because I suffer from those as well, and an ideal couple would help each other conquer those feelings.
    Ticket redemption games are whore****.
    If you market yourself as an arcade, I want GAMES, not gambling for kids.
    There are only two races:
    White and political.

    Two sexes:
    Male and political.

    Two sexualities:

    Straight and political.
    One of my sub-dreams after becoming a world famous singer is to open a museum and have literally every officially licensed video game product ever made under one roof.
    Everything from McDonald's boxes to unreleased prototypes.
    The Left is pissed that Biden bombed Syria.
    The Right is pissed that Mr. Potato Head got rebranded.
    What is a man to do when he loves a girl so much, that he feels physical pain in his chest and stomach when he realizes that she is not in his arms?
    You may be a princess, my love, and I may be just another man, but I'd conquer eight worlds to catch your eye.
    Ben Holt
    Ben Holt
    Oof. I really wish romance were like a video game. Sure, some would still be naturally gifted, but you could still get as many tries as needed until you finally complete your quest and are rewarded with affection.
    RetrogamerMax
    RetrogamerMax
    If we all had a reset button, everyone would be winning all the time. But sadly, life isn't a video game. You only get one shot with mostly everything in life.
    Ben Holt
    Ben Holt
    I know. Heh. Sometimes I dislike my differences.
    Normal pickup lines: "Hey cutie. Mind if I buy you a drink?"

    My pickup lines: "Look. I ain't a psychologist. I don't know what the "right" thing to say to you is. I just know that I really like you. Quite exceptionally, in fact. Of all the people I've ever met, you're the one I have my heart set upon. In the abstract, there are many things I'm hypothetically willing to do for your affection, but I don't want to risk overstepping and making a fool of myself. I can promise, however, to always be honest, loving, and open with you. There is nothing in this world that I want more than your affection."
    Odd how one person can make you so happy, and inversely, their absence can make you so sad. 😔
    Doc Monocle
    Doc Monocle
    Did someone else leave you feeling glum?
    Ben Holt
    Ben Holt
    Kinda. I haven't heard from my special one in nearly a month, and I get separation anxiety.
    Is Pac-Man a puzzle game?
    :ultpacman:
    Doc Monocle
    Doc Monocle
    Hmmm... I suppose that depends... Actually, it might very well be. The object is to navigate a maze, with a requirement of collecting dots and avoiding enemies, so it is a maze (puzzle) game. The only trouble is that less attention may be given to the maze, and more given to the enemies. Still, unless there is a technical term that incorporates all of these elements, I think it could qualify as a puzzle game...
    Games Ported to 3DS, but not Switch:
    Ocarina of Time
    Majora's Mask
    Yoshi's Wooly World
    Kirby's Epic Yarn
    Metal Gear Solid 3
    Rayman 2
    Rayman Origins
    StarFox 64
    Metroid II (Samus Returns)
    Donkey Kong Country Returns
    Dragon Quest VII
    Monster Hunter 3
    Splinter Cell
    Street Fighter IV
    Fire Emblem Gaiden

    Honorable Mentions (DS / DSi):
    Super Mario 64
    Rayman
    Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon
    Fire Emblem: Mystery of the Emblem

    Get to it, Nintendo!
    How Classic IPs Can Be Made Modern:
    (By modern, I mean AAA $60 experiences, not budget titles like Mega Man 11.)
    Contra: Gears of War but with platforming elements. Imagine the Scout from Team Fortress 2 for Bill and Lance's movement.

    Mega Man: Hear me out. This may sound weird at first. Breath of the Wild with a futuristic robotic setting. RPG elements like Mega Man X (health upgrades, weapon upgrades, special items, etc). Instead of the four main dungeons, make eight "dungeons" for the Robot Masters (if not more). Mega Man's moveset would function similar to Mega Man Legends, but in an open world. If this sounds weird, remember that Mega Man revolutionized non-linear gameplay by allowing the player to take on the Robot Masters in ANY ORDER. Now instead of a level select, imagine each robot master having a base in the open world causing havock in their respective areas of the map.

    Castlevania: God of War, but replace Greek Mythology with Catholic Mythology. Give it a competent team with AAA resources, and it'll print money.

    Pac-Man: If you've ever played Ms. Pac-Man: Maze Madness, then you know that that's the ideal formula for a modern Puzzle Platformer (but add some actual platforming). Like Crash Bandicoot 4, if it ain't broke, don't fix it; just make it bigger. 100+ levels, secret collectables, secret challenge levels, etc. Just make $60 worth of content, and the Pac-Man name sells itself. Also, might as well bring the mobile Pac-Man game to console without being a "Gotcha" game. Pac-Man on mobile is full of content that I'd happily pay $10 for without the microtransactions.

    StarFox: I know they have "Modern" StarFox games, but they suck, so make it a game like Splatoon, a 4 vs. 4 competitive death match game, but with Arwing fights. Be able to land on planets to use the Landmaster. Dive underwater for sea combat. Even be able to jump out of vehicles to travel on foot with your blaster (you'd be able to hide better, but you'd have almost no defense against vehicles). The game would be over after all enemies are killed (or "defeated" in Nintendo language) or the timer runs out. Also like Splatoon, there could be a single player campaign that's basically StarFox Assault but bigger. You'd be able to customize your own character (don't even think about it, Furries) in terms of both cosmetic and loadouts for combat.

    Ninja Gaiden: Sekiro. 'Nuff said.
    I'd give anything for my chest to be the pillow you rest your head upon every night. 💜
    Ben Holt
    Ben Holt
    Hear my heartbeat.
    Know that it beats harder and faster whenever I'm with you.
    Justice, to a Right-winger is punishment.
    Justice, to a Leftist, is a change of heart.
    • Like
    Reactions: Champion of Hyrule
    Ben Holt
    Ben Holt
    This is one of the fundamental differences between right-wing and left-wing psychology.
    This is why the Right is so much more likely to support harsher punishment such as the death penalty and life imprisonment.
    To a person of right-wing psychology, punishment is the goal of criminal justice. It doesn't matter that it has been statistically proven that harsher punishment does not deter crime, as this simply isn't relevant to them.
    Take the execution of Stanley Williams, he was put to death in 2005 with the support of Republican governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger despite writing numerous books urging teens to avoid gang life and even being nominated for Nobel Prizes. To the Right, this simply isn't relevant, as the crime had already been committed, and thus punishment must be carried out.
    I once posted a picture on MiiVerse of Stalin, FDR, and Churchill Miis beating up Hitler in Smash Wii U.
    Nintendo removed it.
    I may not be Prince Charming, but I'm Super Mario. Won't you be my Princess Peach?
    Torgo the Bear
    Torgo the Bear
    Hey, Mario's ten times cooler than Prince Charming.
    Ben Holt
    Ben Holt
    What's funny is that this was something I said to my last ex. I used Super Mario as an example of my scruffy, but lovable style.
    Ben Holt
    Ben Holt
    She outright said, "Well I'm not your Princess Peach," so I'm searching for someone that is.
    I have my eye on a very special girl right now, but I cannot make it go any faster than nature allows.
    I don't understand how people can choose to hurt someone else.
    It seems so unintuitive.
    But I guess that's why I feel like an alien. I don't understand normal people.
    Gotta learn three songs in less than 24 hours, and I'll most likely perform them intoxicated. Oof.
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