PsySmasher
Smash Hero
Huh... I actually thought you were trying to learn more about Corrin and Fates.it begins
Corrin danced down the stairs. Oh, what a wondrous day! It is the fifteenth of April, meaning that if the plans were all on schedule the Notre Dame Cathedral should be on ****ing fire. Claude Frollo will finally pay for his crimes.
Unfortunately, nobody had the heart to tell her that The Hunchback of Notre Dame is a fictional story. And that Frollo was actually killed because a gargoyle on the cathedral broke underneath him. Really he would be celebrating the burning of the place where he fell into molten lead and ****ing died.
That didn’t stop Corrin from beaming her way down the stairs, taking notice of the interior of the cabin that she’s been staying in alongside her father and sister. The cozy fireplace, the candles, the bearskin rug, the Chekhov's gun hanging on the wall, the one outlet in the entire ****ing house. Great place. Really.
She bounced happily over to the table and poured out some Raisin Bran™ cereal. Just as she started to chomp down onto some delicious raisins that were in her Raisin Bran™ cereal her father Rämen stomped down the stairs angrily.
“Goddammit we’re all out of ****ing milk. I want my ****ing milk. And food. We’re all out of ****ing food. Corrin go get some milk from Giants.” Rämen said, staring at the empty mini-fridge. It’s not like they had any food in the first place. God he really should go and get a job.
“Where am I supposed to go, we’re like 300 miles deep in the middle of nowhere. Their’s no Giants around here for ages.” remarked Corrin.
“I don’t know, and I don’t care. Figure it out.”
“Can I at least borrow your car, than?”
“Fine.”
“...Where are the keys?”
Rämen sighed, wondering at which point did his life just go completely wrong. He didn’t ask to adopt these kids. ...Okay, maybe he did considering he adopted them, but he didn’t ask for them to be so stupid.
“Go ask your sister.”
“Camilla?”
“Yeah, yeah, the one with the huge *******.”
“...Dad I only have one sister. You don't need to specify which one. Also why are you mentioning her boob siz-”
“Stop asking me stupid ****ing questions.”
Corrin sighed. Her giddiness of watching the Notre Dame burn to the ground was basically gone at this point. She walked upstairs and kicked down Camilla's door.
“Hey sugar,” Camilla said sultrily, “Why don't you have a seat right here…”
“Camilla please I just want the car keys. Please just give me the car keys. Also we're related, you're literally my sister. This **** is weird as hell.” Corrin said exasperatedly.
“We're not blood related though.”
“Still weird as hell.”
“Intelligent Systems doesn't seem to think so.”
“The **** is an intelligent system?”
“...I have no damn clue why I said that. What IS an intelligent system?”
“Camilla. Please. I have no time for your mommy-sister incest bs. Dad’s gonna flip any second now and I just want the keys.”
“Ok ok one second they’re in my boobs.”
“...Why are they in your boobs?”
“Cheap sex appeal to the thirteen year olds on Smashboards because faygoshill promised that this fanfic would be somewhat erotic.”
“Who in the **** is faygoshill?”
“Stop asking me stupid ****ing questions.”
Camilla tossed Corrin the car keys that she spent like ten minutes fishing out of her oversized anime boobs. Corrin quickly ran downstairs to get to the car as fast as she could to avoid any further confrontation with her overly incestual sister and weird dad. Unfortunately, she messed up in trying to avoid the latter.
“HEY! Where do you think you’re going, young lady!” Rämen screamed.
“You literally JUST ****ing told me to go get some milk and food from Giants. Somehow. We’re literally neck-deep in the middle of nowhere.”
“Oh. Alrighty then. Make sure you buy some panties while you’re there.”
“First of all, it’s a goddamn grocery store. They don’t sell panties. Second of all, I don’t wear panties, I have a-”
“You’re not the only one who wears panties in this household.”
“Camilla? Pretty sure she goes commando. For some reason. She’s pretty weird actually. Not so sure I feel comfortable with her around. Anyways, who wears panties?”
“Stop asking me stupid ****ing questions.”
Corrin sighed, and sped as fast as her little legs could go to the door. After finally getting into the car, she realized- she was free. Free of her weirdly incestual sister. Free of her panty wearing dad. Free of everything. She could go wherever she wanted. She could disappear, and nobody could stop her.
She sighed,and set the in-car GPS to find the nearest Giants. Someday. But not today. Because this story isn't about a girl breaking free of her awful surroundings and becoming her own woman. No no no, this is a story about a girl penising a damn cookie.
END OF ACT ONERamen Tengoku
Mythra
Should've known better.
‘d
