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It's 'covered wars' you fake fan.
I actually read this.it begins
Corrin danced down the stairs. Oh, what a wondrous day! It is the fifteenth of April, meaning that if the plans were all on schedule the Notre Dame Cathedral should be on ****ing fire. Claude Frollo will finally pay for his crimes.
Unfortunately, nobody had the heart to tell her that The Hunchback of Notre Dame is a fictional story. And that Frollo was actually killed because a gargoyle on the cathedral broke underneath him. Really he would be celebrating the burning of the place where he fell into molten lead and ****ing died.
That didn’t stop Corrin from beaming her way down the stairs, taking notice of the interior of the cabin that she’s been staying in alongside her father and sister. The cozy fireplace, the candles, the bearskin rug, the Chekhov's gun hanging on the wall, the one outlet in the entire ****ing house. Great place. Really.
She bounced happily over to the table and poured out some Raisin Bran™ cereal. Just as she started to chomp down onto some delicious raisins that were in her Raisin Bran™ cereal her father Rämen stomped down the stairs angrily.
“Goddammit we’re all out of ****ing milk. I want my ****ing milk. And food. We’re all out of ****ing food. Corrin go get some milk from Giants.” Rämen said, staring at the empty mini-fridge. It’s not like they had any food in the first place. God he really should go and get a job.
“Where am I supposed to go, we’re like 300 miles deep in the middle of nowhere. Their’s no Giants around here for ages.” remarked Corrin.
“I don’t know, and I don’t care. Figure it out.”
“Can I at least borrow your car, than?”
“Fine.”
“...Where are the keys?”
Rämen sighed, wondering at which point did his life just go completely wrong. He didn’t ask to adopt these kids. ...Okay, maybe he did considering he adopted them, but he didn’t ask for them to be so stupid.
“Go ask your sister.”
“Camilla?”
“Yeah, yeah, the one with the huge *******.”
“...Dad I only have one sister. You don't need to specify which one. Also why are you mentioning her boob siz-”
“Stop asking me stupid ****ing questions.”
Corrin sighed. Her giddiness of watching the Notre Dame burn to the ground was basically gone at this point. She walked upstairs and kicked down Camilla's door.
“Hey sugar,” Camilla said sultrily, “Why don't you have a seat right here…”
“Camilla please I just want the car keys. Please just give me the car keys. Also we're related, you're literally my sister. This **** is weird as hell.” Corrin said exasperatedly.
“We're not blood related though.”
“Still weird as hell.”
“Intelligent Systems doesn't seem to think so.”
“The **** is an intelligent system?”
“...I have no damn clue why I said that. What IS an intelligent system?”
“Camilla. Please. I have no time for your mommy-sister incest bs. Dad’s gonna flip any second now and I just want the keys.”
“Ok ok one second they’re in my boobs.”
“...Why are they in your boobs?”
“Cheap sex appeal to the thirteen year olds on Smashboards because faygoshill promised that this fanfic would be somewhat erotic.”
“Who in the **** is faygoshill?”
“Stop asking me stupid ****ing questions.”
Camilla tossed Corrin the car keys that she spent like ten minutes fishing out of her oversized anime boobs. Corrin quickly ran downstairs to get to the car as fast as she could to avoid any further confrontation with her overly incestual sister and weird dad. Unfortunately, she messed up in trying to avoid the latter.
“HEY! Where do you think you’re going, young lady!” Rämen screamed.
“You literally JUST ****ing told me to go get some milk and food from Giants. Somehow. We’re literally neck-deep in the middle of nowhere.”
“Oh. Alrighty then. Make sure you buy some panties while you’re there.”
“First of all, it’s a goddamn grocery store. They don’t sell panties. Second of all, I don’t wear panties, I have a-”
“You’re not the only one who wears panties in this household.”
“Camilla? Pretty sure she goes commando. For some reason. She’s pretty weird actually. Not so sure I feel comfortable with her around. Anyways, who wears panties?”
“Stop asking me stupid ****ing questions.”
Corrin sighed, and sped as fast as her little legs could go to the door. After finally getting into the car, she realized- she was free. Free of her weirdly incestual sister. Free of her panty wearing dad. Free of everything. She could go wherever she wanted. She could disappear, and nobody could stop her.
She sighed,and set the in-car GPS to find the nearest Giants. Someday. But not today. Because this story isn't about a girl breaking free of her awful surroundings and becoming her own woman. No no no, this is a story about a girl penising a damn cookie.
END OF ACT ONERamen Tengoku
Mythra
You would.
Another big thing to note about Resident Evil is that it's a multimedia franchise that appeals to Westerners with a series of Hollywood films. The six Resident Evil movies have made over a billion dollars. It's one, if not, the most prominent video game franchise for Smash to include that would appeal to Westerners while still being Japanese developed.Oh, what's that?Scoliosis Jones is back with more Smash Bros. speculation? In the middle of an incredibly...interesting day in the social thread? YOU GOT THAT RIGHT.
I was curious, so I looked into the total series sales for gaming series owned by Capcom. The sales numbers are listed on Capcom Japan's official website, which can be found here: http://www.capcom.co.jp/ir/english/finance/salesdata.html There's a few interesting things to note about this particular webpage, and I'll go over those now.
As of December 2018, Mega Man, as a series, which was the first Capcom series introduced to Smash Bros, has sold roughly $34 million worth throughout the sale of 152 titles. Street Fighter, the second Capcom series introduced to Smash, has sold roughly $42 million worth throughout the sale of 91 titles. Monster Hunter, the third Capcom series introduced to Smash (without a playable character, though) has made about $53 million across 43 titles. Among series that have not appeared in Smash, but are owned by Capcom, Devil May Cry has had 26 titles and has made $17 million, Okami with 11 titles has made $2.6, Ace Attorney has 26 titles and has made $6.8 million titles...etc.
Resident Evil, however, has made $86 million after 125 titles across the franchise. This is more than both Street Fighter and Mega Man combined. I'm certainly not one to argue based on sales...I think sales are irrelevant, and have shown to be irrelevant, but I do think that in some cases, sales can show legacy.
This quote specifically points out Monster Hunter and Resident Evil, two quality series from the company. Neither series has a playable character in Smash, but Monster Hunter does have their most iconic monster, and effectively their mascot, in the game as a boss, a few tracks of music that has been organized with other misc. music. Resident Evil, as of right now in Smash, has nothing.
Among all-time gaming sales (which can be found here AND IS CITED: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_best-selling_video_game_franchises) , specifically among Japanese gaming franchises (I simply have remained unconvinced that Western characters will be added based on ease of access and complications) Resident Evil places 7th (when you include Mario all under one umbrella). The only series to beat it, among Japanese originating series, are Mario, Pokemon, Wii, Final Fantasy, Sonic The Hedgehog, and The Legend of Zelda. Each of these series are in Smash already with playable characters..
The next closest Japanese created series that is in Smash currently, is Donkey Kong at about $58 million, which is closely followed by Metal Gear. Now, once Erdrick is in and brings in Dragon Quest content, that will become the series that follows Resident Evil.
Why am I talking about this? Why does it matter? Well, obviously Capcom values Resident Evil as an IP. It's a series that has made incredible amounts of money, and enjoys starpower when it comes to gaming, and various other media forms. Capcom also values Monster Hunter, clearly, as based on the ratio of titles to revenue, it's their current biggest money maker. When it comes to Smash, and for all I know this may not matter, but the most iconic aspect of the Monster Hunter series, the Rathalos, is already in. The Monster Hunter player character is not what people think of when it comes to Monster Hunter, the monsters are, and Smash already has the most iconic monster. In addition, while this may be seen as flimsy, Monster Hunter has music, but that music is filed into Miscellaneous. That by no means rules out further content, but it just seems...like that's it, at least to me.
All other Capcom series are either quite minor, (Okami hasn't even broken 3 million dollars), or have been soft disconfirmed (see: Devil May Cry and Dante). If Capcom gets another fighter in Smash, and I feel that by no means is that unlikely, Resident Evil actually stands an excellent chance to get into Smash to not only represent itself, but as Capcom themselves says, "created the survival horror genre", therefore bringing a new genre to Smash.
Yes, it's another "wall o'text" from Old Man Jones. Maybe you're sick of my hootin and hollerin about Resident Evil. I've seen fans on various sites now defending the idea of the series in Smash, and I think people have, up until now, ignored the possibility. Overall, if Western 3rd party titles are ruled out, and if Capcom gets another DLC pick, Resident Evil stands arguably the best chance to get a playable character in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate.
Thanks for reading!
That's something. Although...
A lot of rough edges but it's okay for the time being.
Somebody had to inheirt Rock Smash from Sm4sh Charizard.You would.
He would be like, the least exciting Resident Evil character to put into Smash. You've got the "Nintendo esque" Leon Kennedy with his roundhouse kicks and suplexes, and then you have the classic design of Jill Valentine. But NO, Sakurai picks the swole, meathead Chris Redfield with boulder punching for his Final Smash.
GET READY
**** me, just when I couldnt love him even more
#DontSpoilTheEndgame pic.twitter.com/CrlCh6GBdU
— Marvel Studios (@MarvelStudios) April 16, 2019
Great! Now I can photoshop him into the cover of my 500 chapter homosexual fanfic between him and Knuckles!
Is it really that special? It was a 50/50 chance, the safest ****ing bet on the planet right now.
I tried my best. At least I didn't just select by color and erase the white like I did with that one meme. :p
And Knuckles,
No but they called it though so they deserve the credit of putting their pride on the line on such a risky prediction.
Just a penguin
) continues being the Mii Slaughterer, obliterating James Monroe.
Noipoi
VS Dante is very close. Dante narrowly takes the lead, sorry.
Iridium
) might be the closest match this round. Iridium narrowly wins.
Noipoilol yeah but the hair (and part of the fingers)'s still wack
I have been feeling this before you posted this.
Hey buddy, you never know.
*Image loader proceeds to break instead*What about now,Warchamp7 ?
It's the best we'll get for now.
Dude.
Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance
