The Unhappy Thread

[Deleted member]

I know this is quite a bit late, but I felt like I should respond to this give I do this to people unintentionally. I don't know if she outright dislikes you (that's a pretty bold statement to make.) However the sudden avoidance usually does signify something is the matter. It's not necessarily malice though, y'know?

When I say "I'm busy" constantly to someone, that usually has a two-fold meaning, its not just about me being "busy with life", as in, there's to much for me to do. Usually my business stems from that...And my own emotions. "busy" is usually synonymous for "I'm feeling kind of bad lately and overthinking things, and because of that I tend to miss my social responsibilities with everyone else." Its not out of ill-intent, but when you get overwhelmed by that you can start cutting off social conversations and previous tendencies you used to do, which of course can alienate people.

And since I wanna be truthful to you, yes, it probably does indeed mean something is not working in your relationship with her. The weaker threads in the social chain start getting cut first, even unconsciously. However usually things that cause this can be temporary, if you can get her to open up about whats bothering her in the relationship then that could be the best thing to do. Just remember the rules:
Keep it respectful and don't act overtly jealous. Even if the jealously is justified, its very rarely appreciated even when its light and in relationships, let alone in a friendship. If you have to tell her how you feel in regards to that make sure its after she opens up to you, as the admittance of jealously can cause the person to back-away as to not want to bother dealing with the emotional crap; even if its their emotional crap that's causing it in the first place.

And of course, never make her or yourself take full responsibility unless she admits it first. Its a logical fallacy to presume anything is always in the middle, but when you've got limited data and you're working on trying to make her emotionally open to you, its best to take this stance as to not seem assumptious about a persons position. On-top of that, not triggering the persons emotional defense mechanisms usually makes them more willing to listen to you. (Unless the subject itself triggers that defense.) Your objective is to get her to open up to you and reconsider your friendship, any need to make the arguments correct should be saved until after shes reopened up, after she's willing to listen and admit the blame herself. Emotions are icky, sticky subjects.

Of course, this is all assuming she's not doing it out of malice and she still sort of enjoys your presence, even if she feels a bit bored, annoyed, or depressed. This is by no means for sure accurate (lots of interpretations as valid as mine), and there's a point where a person just doesn't want to talk anymore, as painful as it is. Sometimes its shallow as hell and hurts but...Pushing for more can just make it hurt even more for both sides. Best to let it go and try not to let it get to ya. I can't draw that line for you so good luck.
__________________

man today I just couldn't sleep, on-top of pretty on and off anxiety about stuff and what people say. I've also got a dentist appointment and I hate that :<

Thanks for your advice. I actually met up with her last night and she told me how much she missed me and such and she was really nice. So I'm thinking maybe it's all in my head or something. But she's like this sometimes. Sometimes there will be times where she really likes me and wants to hang out with me but other times she wants nothing to do with me.

 

[PsychoIncarnate]

Edit: LOL, it was nothing

 

[Deleted member 269706]

I'm so tired...all the time. I didn't get out of bed til 3:00pm today and around 10:00 I was passing out. I don't feel motivated to do much anymore. Just losing focus and drive.

 

[Rie Sonomura]

First off, I'm hungry as hell and had an awful headache earlier today. Still kinda do.

Second, two numbers I don't recognize texted me, I made the mistake of replying to one so I hope I'm not like hacked or anything. Especially since a friend I had on my old email account has also been hacked.

Finally - I've been very irritable lately and I don't know why...

 

[Creo]

My anxiety and stress has been getting to me again lately. . . Nothing too out of place considering past experiences, but it is of course a bit bothering at the moment. I tend to overthink, well. . . Quite a lot. Needlessly a lot of the time I realize, to be sure, but it's not something I can control well. - sigh - Well, Just got to keep hanging in there for now, I suppose.

 

[FamilyTeam]

Eh...

I have a minor headache today, and it's not going away.

Also I'm the organizer of a small Melee tournament that will happen in the 6th of January. I'll have to worry about moving my Wii around, buy food, making sure people actually sign up for the tournament properly... and that's another issue. I don't know what I can do about this, but most people who sign up for the tournament don't end up coming. One of the ones I organized (A PM tournament), at first, 12 people said they would go. The week the tournament was going to take place, that number went down to 8, then 7, then only 5 of them showed up, with one of them being me... Worst part about it is that these aren't even random people I don't know, atleast 95 to a 100 percent of the people who sign into these tournaments are friends of mine I talk to on a daily basis... they just don't tend to actually be responsible. It just makes me kind of mad, yunno? Even the last one I did, 5 friends signed in for the tournament, yet only 4 showed up, meaning we only had 5 players again...

Also, I've been practicing Melee for that tournament, and since my GC controller's analog stick doesn't have any of the soft rubber left, I've been skinning my thumb while playing it, which is not nice, it hurts, and I hate it. And training sessions haven't even been going all that well. I can't chaingrab as Sheik when someone DIs away to save my life. And I have very little way of practicing it, since the bots are a bad way of doing it, and I don't actually want any of my friends to find out I'm playing Sheik on Melee now before the tournament happens.

Lastly... I've been really bored lately. To be completely honest, I'd rather be bored like I have been for these last few weeks for the rest of my life than to ever go back to my school routine... 62 hours/week of studying not counting all of the studying I have to do at home... leaves a hole in your soul and your sanity. Too bad that's gonna come back in February and probably even worse, good grief.

 

[Donging]

• i still don't have a gift for my girlfriend for christmas
• exhausted from working 12-14 hour shifts 4 days a week, working 10-12 days in a row at times
• stressed about my band having to play a show this saturday, as we haven't had a chance to practice much recently (mostly due to the above)
• bummed i have such a great scene but don't get to make it out to locals ever (maybe go tonight if im lucky)
• hate having to live with my step-mom
• lol^

 

[Mega-Spider]

I've been feeling very empty and defeated for the past couple of months. To make a long story short, I lost my girlfriend who I had been with since February and lost in the middle of October. She still wanted to be my friend since we had a strong bond when we dated, but I didn't want that. We have two classes together (we're Seniors in high school), and I feel uncomfortable to be around her sometimes. I tried to make her reconsider her decision and we could get back together, but each time ended in failure. I figured to myself "It's a pretty stressful time, and when the stress levels start to simmer down, go in and ask her." I did this last Thursday, and she turned me down, but still wanting to be friends. We gave each other one last kiss on our cheeks, and I haven't spoken to her since. For the last week, I've been cycling between feeling suicidal and guilty. Suicidal because I lost hope in myself and I don't believe anyone would ever take my heart again. Guilty because I should have just accepted the break up and become friends. She's likely going somewhere else in college while I stay where I'm at, so a long distance relationship would be incredibly difficult. She's a beautiful girl and we have a lot in common, especially our personalities and our sense of humor. She gave me a lot of confidence, and gave me newfound confidence that I didn't know I had, and I did the same to her. My family and she herself told me that I was a great, even amazing boyfriend, but all that did was make me feel worse, because if that were the case, she would still love me and be with me. I feel I screwed up the last time I talked with her, because I became incredibly dark, and told her that I don't know if anyone would take my heart. There have been nights where I debated if I should begin self harm to ease the pain. I've been constantly told that I'm way too hard on myself, and I know that, and I've been trying to stop this issue, but it's been a long process for me to think my all or nothing type of thinking. It's something that I feel ashamed of, and it's been demoralizing me for a while. I just wanted that confidence and light that she had on me, and now that it's gone, I feel like I'm going to depressed for a long time. What should I do and not do?

 

[Donging]

I've been feeling very empty and defeated for the past couple of months. To make a long story short, I lost my girlfriend who I had been with since February and lost in the middle of October. She still wanted to be my friend since we had a strong bond when we dated, but I didn't want that. We have two classes together (we're Seniors in high school), and I feel uncomfortable to be around her sometimes. I tried to make her reconsider her decision and we could get back together, but each time ended in failure. I figured to myself "It's a pretty stressful time, and when the stress levels start to simmer down, go in and ask her." I did this last Thursday, and she turned me down, but still wanting to be friends. We gave each other one last kiss on our cheeks, and I haven't spoken to her since. For the last week, I've been cycling between feeling suicidal and guilty. Suicidal because I lost hope in myself and I don't believe anyone would ever take my heart again. Guilty because I should have just accepted the break up and become friends. She's likely going somewhere else in college while I stay where I'm at, so a long distance relationship would be incredibly difficult. She's a beautiful girl and we have a lot in common, especially our personalities and our sense of humor. She gave me a lot of confidence, and gave me newfound confidence that I didn't know I had, and I did the same to her. My family and she herself told me that I was a great, even amazing boyfriend, but all that did was make me feel worse, because if that were the case, she would still love me and be with me. I feel I screwed up the last time I talked with her, because I became incredibly dark, and told her that I don't know if anyone would take my heart. There have been nights where I debated if I should begin self harm to ease the pain. I've been constantly told that I'm way too hard on myself, and I know that, and I've been trying to stop this issue, but it's been a long process for me to think my all or nothing type of thinking. It's something that I feel ashamed of, and it's been demoralizing me for a while. I just wanted that confidence and light that she had on me, and now that it's gone, I feel like I'm going to depressed for a long time. What should I do and not do?

DO:

• understand that you are quickly on your way to becoming an adult, and in a few months time you'll be graduated from baby school and moving on to college and become more career-oriented, and the last thing you need is to invest all of your time into one person
• consider the fact that people change as they grow older. psychologists have done studies on long-term marriages and have found that many couples tend to grow apart and understand each other less as the marriage progresses. I'm not saying every marriage/relationship is doomed to failure, but these symptoms (and i'm speaking from personal experience here) seem to be exacerbated in younger couples. from the sounds of it she started noticing this, you just aren't quite seeing it as much. especially in high school, identities can change over the course of just a few months easily. things you used to share in common and bond over you might not have in the long-run.
• think to yourself what the goal of your relationship was. Did you really intend to spend the rest of your life with your high school sweetheart? and just get hitched and all that? western culture tends to romanticize the idea of young love, but i can assure you that you will meet many other girls over the course of your life, and some will definitely be a better fit for you than her, especially as you continue to expand your own horizons, and build upon your own interests. at a young age, relationships help you grow and learn more about yourself as you come into being your own person, which is what it sounds like happened for you. that's great, and you should feel good about that, but she's not taking that with her: you have it all yourself, and you can use it to become an even better person.
• use that confidence she had awoken inside of you and understand it was there all along. you don't need someone else calling the shots to control your self-worth, that much is entirely up to you. the moment you look in the mirror and tell yourself you're an incredible person that has seen 0% of the amazing world we live in and still has a beautiful life ahead of them, you'll understand it's not about where you are, but what you want to do and where you're going with yourself. you don't need another person to complete your happiness.
• know that there are billions of people in this world, and you are still young, naive and seriously devoted. you sound like a person that likes to give themselves to a relationship 100%, and believe me that is something that women love. The idea that no one else would ever love you like her is, i assure you, completely preposterous. it might sound trite to say that there are other fish in the sea, but it's completely true, and in a few years i promise you will look back on the mindset you have right now and think to yourself "oh my god, i can't believe i was really in that big of a slump over a relationship that only lasted a few months in high school." you deserve someone that is going to make you feel happy, but sometimes it just isn't meant to be.

DO NOT:

• SELF HARM FOR ANY REASON! if these toxic thoughts are as serious as you make them seem to be, i strongly recommend you talk to a close friend that you know can keep things confidential. otherwise i'm sure your school has a psychologist or someone you can talk to about problems like this. Otherwise, i would talk to a teacher that you trust and let them help you. if you have a good relationship with your parents/legal guardian as well, that's always an option. Seriously, no problem is ever worth falling into self-harm over.
• push the issue any farther. she's clearly decided where she stands on the matter and it doesn't sound like talking about it will convince her otherwise. If it feels weird to hangout with her or see her in class, i'd recommend just being in groups of friends with her, or just telling her you need some time to heal. also, just pay attention in class instead of worrying about having to talk to her. if you get put into groups in the class, maybe talk to the teacher and explain the situation, and i'm sure he/she would be sure you don't get in the same group. I'm sure she'll understand that your heart is a little bit broken, but don't make her feel guilty about it and try to use it to get back together. that sort of unhealthy, manipulative behavior is just going to make it worse in the long-run.
• make a big deal about it if people ask about your relationship status. Tell them that it simply ended on mutual terms and that there are no hard feelings between either of you. say what you posted her, even, about long distance relationships not really being your thing. if you don't want to tell nosy people you will ask, just tell them it's not their business and to worry about themselves.

sorry if this is coming off as a little harsh, but know that i've been in your situation in the past and it really does get better. tl;dr: realize it's not the end of the world, remember why she made you feel confident and use it. time heals all wounds, no temporary problem is going to be solved with suicide/self-harm, and of course you're going to meet other girls as you continue to grow.

 

[Mega-Spider]

DO:

• understand that you are quickly on your way to becoming an adult, and in a few months time you'll be graduated from baby school and moving on to college and become more career-oriented, and the last thing you need is to invest all of your time into one person
• consider the fact that people change as they grow older. psychologists have done studies on long-term marriages and have found that many couples tend to grow apart and understand each other less as the marriage progresses. I'm not saying every marriage/relationship is doomed to failure, but these symptoms (and i'm speaking from personal experience here) seem to be exacerbated in younger couples. from the sounds of it she started noticing this, you just aren't quite seeing it as much. especially in high school, identities can change over the course of just a few months easily. things you used to share in common and bond over you might not have in the long-run.
• think to yourself what the goal of your relationship was. Did you really intend to spend the rest of your life with your high school sweetheart? and just get hitched and all that? western culture tends to romanticize the idea of young love, but i can assure you that you will meet many other girls over the course of your life, and some will definitely be a better fit for you than her, especially as you continue to expand your own horizons, and build upon your own interests. at a young age, relationships help you grow and learn more about yourself as you come into being your own person, which is what it sounds like happened for you. that's great, and you should feel good about that, but she's not taking that with her: you have it all yourself, and you can use it to become an even better person.
• use that confidence she had awoken inside of you and understand it was there all along. you don't need someone else calling the shots to control your self-worth, that much is entirely up to you. the moment you look in the mirror and tell yourself you're an incredible person that has seen 0% of the amazing world we live in and still has a beautiful life ahead of them, you'll understand it's not about where you are, but what you want to do and where you're going with yourself. you don't need another person to complete your happiness.
• know that there are billions of people in this world, and you are still young, naive and seriously devoted. you sound like a person that likes to give themselves to a relationship 100%, and believe me that is something that women love. The idea that no one else would ever love you like her is, i assure you, completely preposterous. it might sound trite to say that there are other fish in the sea, but it's completely true, and in a few years i promise you will look back on the mindset you have right now and think to yourself "oh my god, i can't believe i was really in that big of a slump over a relationship that only lasted a few months in high school." you deserve someone that is going to make you feel happy, but sometimes it just isn't meant to be.

DO NOT:

• SELF HARM FOR ANY REASON! if these toxic thoughts are as serious as you make them seem to be, i strongly recommend you talk to a close friend that you know can keep things confidential. otherwise i'm sure your school has a psychologist or someone you can talk to about problems like this. Otherwise, i would talk to a teacher that you trust and let them help you. if you have a good relationship with your parents/legal guardian as well, that's always an option. Seriously, no problem is ever worth falling into self-harm over.
• push the issue any farther. she's clearly decided where she stands on the matter and it doesn't sound like talking about it will convince her otherwise. If it feels weird to hangout with her or see her in class, i'd recommend just being in groups of friends with her, or just telling her you need some time to heal. also, just pay attention in class instead of worrying about having to talk to her. if you get put into groups in the class, maybe talk to the teacher and explain the situation, and i'm sure he/she would be sure you don't get in the same group. I'm sure she'll understand that your heart is a little bit broken, but don't make her feel guilty about it and try to use it to get back together. that sort of unhealthy, manipulative behavior is just going to make it worse in the long-run.
• make a big deal about it if people ask about your relationship status. Tell them that it simply ended on mutual terms and that there are no hard feelings between either of you. say what you posted her, even, about long distance relationships not really being your thing. if you don't want to tell nosy people you will ask, just tell them it's not their business and to worry about themselves.

sorry if this is coming off as a little harsh, but know that i've been in your situation in the past and it really does get better. tl;dr: realize it's not the end of the world, remember why she made you feel confident and use it. time heals all wounds, no temporary problem is going to be solved with suicide/self-harm, and of course you're going to meet other girls as you continue to grow.

Thank you. I know I sound like a complete wreck, but I just want to get over it. I hate how I'm incredibly sensitive and fragile I am when talking about stuff like this. It makes me feel weak.

 

[Venus of the Desert Bloom]

Our cat has a tendency to scratch things. We have multiple scratching posts and about 6 scratching pads. Ever hardly used them and prefers the doors and walls. He will move to an uncovered location as soon as we cover the areas he scratches. I considered removing his claws but I heard it's very traumatic. He's lived through enough trauma after falling from our 3rd story balcony and breaking two legs, injuring his spleen, and damaging his teeth. Costed around $2,000 with hospital fees and surgeries which wasn't too much in comparison to US vet bills.

We are living in a pet friendly apartment but, after signing the contract, the realitor informed us any pet damage will be paid full by us and the price is nonnegotiable. We asked about a deposit but they don't allow them. Unfortunately, this was the only pet friendly apartment that isn't a hour and half drive to my work. So we kind of had to take it.

So he's scratched up our walls, food, floor, and even windows. We had someone come in yo give a estimate of the cost of damages (after living here for 4 months) and he priced it around $5,000 to $12,000. We will have to replace mostly everything. He said even if there was a tiny mark on the wall in one room, they would have to replace the wallpaper within the entire room.

It's making me feel sick, especially we are saving up to potentially move back to the States so I can go to grad school.

 

[Foxus]

I think I can officially declare Smash is, without a doubt, one of the most difficult games to take up, by design. You have so many alley-ways and protocols to follow in order to play correctly.
You almost gotta be like a genius to play this game right, alone as Fox or Yoshi.

 

[Bluekirby2]

Yesterday a former friend of mine had gone on why I'm a terrible person, and potentially lost another friend.

 

[Aife]

Eh, yesterday I had a mini emotional episode over seemingly nothing. I hate when that happens, given that I've felt so good recently overall and its super seeding my everyday feelings and making me super sensitive to everything.

My only guess on why this is happening is because of the displacement concept, as in, I pushed down a lot of my worries, anxieties and all that, and then when I was later triggered by something, they all welled up and now I feel emotionally distraught.
Still, this came up after I took a short nap, so i have a hard time understanding what triggered my sudden emotional down and sudden sensitivity. eh.

Eh, just wanted to vent someplace, it sucks feeling so sensitive, I wanna get back to how I wanna be, at least tranquil, satisfied, and wanting to improve.

 

[Mega-Spider]

I've posted here before, but I just want to update my progress. So far, moving on from not being able to get back with my ex girlfriend has been a tough process, but I believe that I can get through it. However, I still feel sorry for how I acted towards her a couple of weeks ago. We broke up on a mutual agreement, and still have a lot of respect for each other, but after how I acted a couple of weeks ago, I'm not sure if she wants anything to do with me anymore. This is the one thing that's been preventing me from feeling 100% satisfied with where I'm at. That, and I still feel like I need time to myself before I can truly get over this situation. I haven't talked to her since my screw up, but I sent a text message telling her "Happy New Year," shortly after the year began, just because I wanted to say that to her. She hasn't texted me back, and if she's upset at me, I personally don't blame her. I'll see what happens when we go back to school on Monday.

 

[PsychoIncarnate]

I don't think I have any sick days left

But I really think I should call in tomorrow and go to a doctor

My cold is getting out of control.

Coughing violently. My body aches from how much I cough.

My days off are monday and tuesday, I wonder if I can last that long

 

[Simikins]

I feel incompetent because I cannot figure out how to add a spreadsheet/table to a smashboards thread.

Can someone please enlighten me, or send me somewhere that I can find the answer to me question?

 

[BSXDrayden]

2015 was a really bad year for me in many ways and it ended the worst way possible. One of the people who was my rock throughout the year and helped me when times were bad told me that they couldn't talk to me any more for reasons they couldn't explain. I respect that and I'm accepting that they can't explain but... It's been hurting for the past month now. They meant so much to me and were not only one of my closest friends but also someone who I had some feelings for and they're gone. I look at things that remind me of them and it just hurts a lot. I know I'll get over this eventually because this kinda thing has happened before but... It's still very painful.

I hope 2016 is better.

 

[Simikins]

2015 was a really bad year for me in many ways and it ended the worst way possible. One of the people who was my rock throughout the year and helped me when times were bad told me that they couldn't talk to me any more for reasons they couldn't explain. I respect that and I'm accepting that they can't explain but... It's been hurting for the past month now. They meant so much to me and were not only one of my closest friends but also someone who I had some feelings for and they're gone. I look at things that remind me of them and it just hurts a lot. I know I'll get over this eventually because this kinda thing has happened before but... It's still very painful.

I hope 2016 is better.

I'm really sorry that this has happened to you, and I hope everything gets better. It's good to talk to people about this kind of thing, and know that you don't have to be alone.
All the best.

 

[MewtwoMaster2002]

You know what? I'm done with life. Yeah, I've had enough of this pain and emotional turmoil I've been going through. I am getting more and more tempted to kill myself every day, and that's because I have nothing to live for. After losing my first love, we've grown further and further apart, to the point where she might secretly hate me. She meant the world to me. Now that she's not on my side anymore, I have nothing to live for or look forward to. I've been suicidal these last couple of months, and I'm just about ready to call it quits and kill myself. Nobody will care. My parents will be happy that they don't have to pay for my Insulin anymore. My brother will be happy since he hates my guts. My friends won't have to worry about me anymore. My story's done. I can't even talk to my parents about my suicide problem, since I'm afraid that they'll send me to a hospital, and I don't want to be trapped in a hospital. All I want is a way out, and suicide is looking more and more like the definitive solution. Don't worry about me; I'm not worth caring about. Just let me kill myself, and not drag anyone down, since I'm the biggest burden in the world.

Being depressed and suicidal is a terrible state. I can't personally say I've been in the exact state you've been in, but I have felt similar in the past in that I felt no one would care if I died. If you have nothing to live for anymore because the only thing you were living for is your first love, I would suggest finding something new to live for. It is never too late to find something new to love. It doesn't have to be a person, but maybe getting a pet like a dog to take care of can help. After my brother got a puppy, it saved my mom from her depression.

If your parents send you to a hospital because you have a suicide problem, that means they love you. If that's the case, I doubt they will be happy for you to be gone. To them, losing you would be much worse than paying for insulin. Suicide will seem like the only solution to people going through depression and suicidal thoughts, but it never is the only solution. While I can't help that much as I'm not a professional, I would strongly encourage you to talk to a professional. Call 1-800-SUICIDE if you need someone to talk to. I'm sorry if it seems like you are being a burden to me or anyone else at the moment.

You're still 17. People come and people go. You may find a new love in the future, or you may find something else worth living for.

 

[2thesky]

New Years Eve was really bad for me. I had an anxiety attack. This feeling of isolation and hatred for everything just grows. It won't let me breathe. It hurts

 

[PsychoIncarnate]

There is someone in my life that verbally abuses me every day of my life, and I have to live with them.

and I think I truly hate them.

 

[Treedot]

You know what? I'm done with life. Yeah, I've had enough of this pain and emotional turmoil I've been going through. I am getting more and more tempted to kill myself every day, and that's because I have nothing to live for. After losing my first love, we've grown further and further apart, to the point where she might secretly hate me. She meant the world to me. Now that she's not on my side anymore, I have nothing to live for or look forward to. I've been suicidal these last couple of months, and I'm just about ready to call it quits and kill myself. Nobody will care. My parents will be happy that they don't have to pay for my Insulin anymore. My brother will be happy since he hates my guts. My friends won't have to worry about me anymore. My story's done. I can't even talk to my parents about my suicide problem, since I'm afraid that they'll send me to a hospital, and I don't want to be trapped in a hospital. All I want is a way out, and suicide is looking more and more like the definitive solution. Don't worry about me; I'm not worth caring about. Just let me kill myself, and not drag anyone down, since I'm the biggest burden in the world.

Yo dude, if you're still there, I wanna be one to tell you that it gets better.

My highschool girlfriend one day after 13 months (and at the time living together) just decided she didn't love me anymore. The stuff you're typing here reminds me a lot of how I felt and acted back then. Trust me, it gets better. I know that might not mean much, but it really really does. It's been several years now, I got over it, had time to myself to think about things and better myself, been with a few other girls since then, and now I'm living with the love of my life who I intend to marry, and we have a beautiful home and two cats! It gets better! You're still young, you've got plenty of time. You just have to look at the grand scheme of things, you're 17. You've got TONS of time to find someone else.

 

[Mega-Spider]

I've seen some of the replies I've gotten to my post about suicide. I just want to thank those people for at least acknowledging my problem.
I just want to update those on what's been going on with my situation. On Tuesday, I was taken out of school after telling my counselors that the feeling of suicide was worse than Monday (which it really was), and I was forced to be taken home. Worse, I couldn't go back to school until I got checked in by my therapist. I didn't get back to school until yesterday. Anyway, school's not the issue here. My parents were thinking of sending me to a different doctor, but none of the places they wanted to take me to were available, so I waited until I got to see my therapist. I spent all of Wednesday working on some school work and feeling terrible for scaring everyone around me. It didn't drive my compulsion to hurt myself, but it made me think about my feelings and why I said what I said. When I saw my therapist on Thursday, I told him what my issue was and how much it's been hurting me over the last 3 months. He told my mom that him and I are going to be having more sessions and he was going to teach me better ways on how I should get over my first love. I'm seeing him tomorrow.
Yesterday, I saw a news article about a sophomore that went to my school, who ended up taking his life. I recall the issue being cyberbullying, but I'm sure there was more to it. I remember looking at this kid and the pictures of him, and thinking to myself "That could have been me..." I was planning to kill myself yesterday if I didn't tell anyone about my problems, and when I saw how devastated this guy's family was, my heart sank in horror. Once again, the thought of "That could have been me," was circling through my head and it made me feel even more ashamed of what I said and how I acted. Hell, if it means anything, my first love would have taken my suicide badly, seeing as how she still wanted to be friends after we broke up (which didn't really work out yet since we never had proper no contact time, which we're having now and agreed to have since Monday). I'm sorry if I alarmed some people by my post. I just needed to get it off my chest and now that I'm going through more intense therapy, I believe that I can get through this hard time of mine and make it out with a bright future. I'm just someone who's happiest when in a relationship, and seeing as how my first love had so many similar traits to me, it really will take a good amount of time to get over this problem of mine.

 

[Treedot]

Mega-Spider

When you're older, you'll look back at it and it will all seem silly. I can almost guarantee that.

 

[Rᴏb]

I'm unhappy because I basically have no future and have dug myself into a hole financially and academically that I do not think I will be able to get out of. I'm 20, but I feel like my life is already over.

it's almost been a year since i posted this here.. wow

just felt like bringing it up because despite how bad i made my situation seem, it got better. i still go through some tough **** every now and then, but it usually ends up getting resolved when i put in the needed effort. my point is, never count yourself out you guys.

 

[Kritzkrieg]

Kind of burned out right now, spent 3 hours trying to beat the "I Rule" challenge in BOI:A with no breaks. Trying again tomorrow, just browsing the forums to cool down.

 

[Treedot]

Kind of burned out right now, spent 3 hours trying to beat the "I Rule" challenge in BOI:A with no breaks. Trying again tomorrow, just browsing the forums to cool down.

I'm so sorry

 

[wedl!!]

Spoiler

I have no idea how to tell my parents about being trans. They're the first people in my real life I should tell about it but IDK where to start.

Also I hate that I have a deep voice and facial hair that grows fast and looks super gross. And that my hair is greasy and thin so growing it out long is going to be difficult. And that I won't be able to wear yoga pants until I get surgery because they look soo comfy. ;(

Women's clothes in general look comfy.

 

[Aife]

Spoiler

I have no idea how to tell my parents about being trans. They're the first people in my real life I should tell about it but IDK where to start.

Also I hate that I have a deep voice and facial hair that grows fast and looks super gross. And that my hair is greasy and thin so growing it out long is going to be difficult. And that I won't be able to wear yoga pants until I get surgery because they look soo comfy. ;(

Women's clothes in general look comfy.

let me give you a hug right now, I'm in the exact same position ;-;
(Well sort of,

my friends were all extremely supportive bar one.)

Just judge based on their previous opinions. I know my mom is vastly against cross-dressing and openly tells me to stay away from those people at conventions, so I know its probably going to be disastrous when I tell her. I'm not of the opinion she'll kick me out, but I see no reason to risk it until I am absolutely forced too. (Or when I well, tell her. lol) it'll come out when I can live on my own and when I decide.

If you see neutrality towards it you might be able to tell her or ask her for her opinion on that stuff, or something. I've never really bothered trying due to me not wanting to bother with it till I move out, in which I dont have to hide it.

You may be able to wear yoga pants post hormones or with the right equipment, but I've never really bothered trying. It's hard for me to pass when I can barely do anything for it.

And yes it does! It sooooo does! Although sometimes its uncomfortable...qwq

 

[Rage NF]

Greetings I might have to leave the board beside that I have to do many project and Stuff Soon which will keep me busy for a long while I feel that I don't belong here for a while now and I never been Good as a talker I'm Pretty bad a conversation that include sometime my Bad English and My Name as well as Rage I still think because of my name people don't approach me maybe they think I'm so kind Rage Guy that I rant everything about it maybe I'm tire People out or I'm boring them the only thing I been Good as Welcomed People with Open Big Arms and helping them by giving some advice and Stuff. Ever since debuting here I came for one Purpose only to Brawl people and have fun then Brawl was take out of the Picture since There is not Brawl I don't see a point to stick around anymore I left after Three months gone I heard there is a way to play Brawl online again thought a new server I came back this is when I meet my good Friend Matsu she was so nice, pure and very open to People thanks to her that made me to chat more with people that When I begin to chat around for about 1 year and half until this point now then in November is when I began to felt this way now in 2015 a group of People invite me to their Group I was Happy made me though that I'm progressing with People now but for a few days Suddenly they began to ignored me I scratch my Head what I did wrong now I tried to speak to those Person that ignored me still stand it was a like a bad ideas to invite me or something regardless of all that I stay in their Group To Figure out what going on until now but still no dice that made me analysis Everything I done since debuted here I determine that since I have to do many things and Stuff, I have issue to connect with people to play Brawl online, I don't have a Wii U Yet because of Low money to play Smash 4 with people and I have big Problem to Chat With People in this site I don't see a reason anymore to stay I might have to leave the Board soon I still Don't know is this will be For Good or not I Might Come Back if I do manage to get a Wii U or NX maybe I considered to stay here until February 11 after 11 gone to do a lot of work which I said earlier then determine if I should Return or not after long Break from the Board.

 

[PsychoIncarnate]

I'm pretty sure my boss is specifically targeting me. Bullying, if you will

I'm going to figure out what legally I can do to counter him

 

[SurrealBrain]

These past few weeks have been rough on me...mostly from feelings of betrayal from two completely different sides. Both I thought of as friends...before they pulled their crap.

The second incident, which only happened a couple of days ago, came just as I got over the first one...my year isn't off to a very good start, it seems...

 

[Scarlet Knight]

let me give you a hug right now, I'm in the exact same position ;-;
(Well sort of,

my friends were all extremely supportive bar one.)

Just judge based on their previous opinions. I know my mom is vastly against cross-dressing and openly tells me to stay away from those people at conventions, so I know its probably going to be disastrous when I tell her. I'm not of the opinion she'll kick me out, but I see no reason to risk it until I am absolutely forced too. (Or when I well, tell her. lol) it'll come out when I can live on my own and when I decide.

If you see neutrality towards it you might be able to tell her or ask her for her opinion on that stuff, or something. I've never really bothered trying due to me not wanting to bother with it till I move out, in which I dont have to hide it.

You may be able to wear yoga pants post hormones or with the right equipment, but I've never really bothered trying. It's hard for me to pass when I can barely do anything for it.

And yes it does! It sooooo does! Although sometimes its uncomfortable...qwq

Well it doesn't hurt to get it over with, Hell... I told my parents that I'm bisexual... she doesn't talk to me anymore...

Other then that, I'm fine

 

[Aife]

Well it doesn't hurt to get it over with, Hell... I told my parents that I'm bisexual... she doesn't talk to me anymore...

Other then that, I'm fine

I mean, I have some rather good evidence from my families actions that she'd react rather harshly.
it wouldn't be that bad if I had my own income and stuff, but I'm still leeching off my parents.
if they were to react harshly to what I'd do then I may end up finding my social situations restricted, and perhaps even taken from school. I have a friend who was prevented from going into college for much pettier reasons. (Well not outright prevented, just not given any support.)

This would determent me harshly, so I prefer to keep quiet about it, specially if I'm unsure. Eh.

EDIT: That said, that isn't to say I have complete proof they wouldn't mellow out, but I'm scared enough by previous interactions about it that I don't want to cause issues, until such point that I'm free.

 

[Scarlet Knight]

I mean, I have some rather good evidence from my families actions that she'd react rather harshly.
it wouldn't be that bad if I had my own income and stuff, but I'm still leeching off my parents.
if they were to react harshly to what I'd do then I may end up finding my social situations restricted, and perhaps even taken from school. I have a friend who was prevented from going into college for much pettier reasons. (Well not outright prevented, just not given any support.)

This would determent me harshly, so I prefer to keep quiet about it, specially if I'm unsure. Eh.

Well everyone is afraid of the unknown, but the choice is yours...
whom am I to decide

 

[SurrealBrain]

Decided to check a paricular forum I used to frequent.

It's only been a few weeks since I left, and disappearances were common, but I do wonder if anyone there even notices my absence...maybe give it more time?

 

[Ghostly ~]

While I'm glad I pass one out of two class, I have to retake the other class which it was the first time I ever got it. But because I haven't find a job and I have to get a credit card for me to survive, I don't know if I'm going to have a bad time at the end of the year.

This is going to be very rough and scary for me to handle all of this ****.

 

[PsychoIncarnate]

I think what's really keeping me of finding a better job is

I'm scared

Scared I won't cut it, scared I will mess up, etc.

 

[MewtwoMaster2002]

Last night while watching Fow's last match, my mom made me go to her room to talk. She kept telling me I need to get a girlfriend and that I am too old to not have one. She also wanted to set me up with some girl who is still in college, and asking about if there's anyone I still liked. She kept bugging me to find someone that's ethnically Chinese. She then told me that I need to stop wasting my time on video games. I missed Fow's set as Ness for her to complain and tell me what to do. >_>