"What's wrong with it?"
"Nothing! I had a blast, it met my expectations and I had a good time."
"What's WRONG with it?"
"...Nothing? I just said, I liked it."
"What. Is. Wrong. With. It?"
"...Well, the load times were a little slow in this section..."
"So it's unoptimized?"
"...Yeah...Yeah, it is! And look here, the game totally stuttered for a second! How on EARTH did I not see that sooner! How did they not see it sooner? Who's playtesting this!?"
"What else is wrong with it?"
"I really didn't like this mechanic! It was completely LAZY, they didn't need to put it in at all, it ruins the whole thing now that I think about it! And y'know what, the music stunk in this part, too! Oh, and the STORY, don't get me started! I enjoyed it at first, but now that I'm looking at it much more objectively, this whole thing is tripe! It's FILLED with tropes and rehashed concepts that show the devs really didn't care. That they have no passion. NO TRUE VISION FOR ART!
I WAS BLIND! Blind by my own perception of "fun" that I forgot what it's really all about! ART! INTEGRITY! VALUE! And none of this meets any of the barest minimum requirements. Look here, see that corner of the map? At exactly a thirty degree angle, you can see a texture clip. A CLIP! How did they not catch that? And if you squint over here, you can see some Z-fighting in the materials inside the OOB sections. Disgraceful. Not to mention they had the GALL to ship me an unfinished product, with gag UPDATES down the line. Sure they're free, but why couldn't they just delay the game? But also, not delay it too long? I mean, how hard can it be? And these animations, ughhhhhh look how stiff they are! No personality or charm whatsoever, it's like they sapped all the joy from [BELOVED MASCOT]. The franchise is ruined!
Ah....why couldn't they just make it like the [OLDER GAME IN THE FRANCHISE I PLAYED AS A KID]? Things were so much better back then. Games were made with integrity you could trust, with the whole package offered straight up! No updates, no DLC, not microtransactions, it was simply better. There was love. They cared about me, about what I thought. They wanted to make sure I had fun and enjoyed the game. Now...Now it's all soulless. A husk of it's original beauty.
There needs to be JUSTICE! I DEMAND WHOEVER IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS TRAVESTY OF A GAME BE BROUGHT TO THE HIGHEST AUTHORITIES! THAT THEY BE SWIFTLY FIRED, AND REPLACED WITH SOMEONE WHO KNOWS HOW TO TREAT A GAME. AS A CUSTOMER. I DESERVE BETTER, I DESERVE BETTER!
And you do, too. Don't just blindly consume products. Get mad! Criticize everything! Don't give in to those wimpy "Oh, but what about the people making the game?"
FOOLS. Incompetent, LAZY FOOLS. If they don't respect me, why should I respect them? Why bother? If I don't stomp my feet and yell, how will I get what I want? And I'm OWED what I want. Because I'm me, and my opinions are the best. My taste is the objective cornerstone, of what everyone should follow. I'm going to share this grand revelation with the world on YouTube through a series of rants, gags, and maybe even an evil clone fight. Yes, YES! THIS IS HOW WE MAKE CHANGE HAPPEN. I'LL EVEN START A TWITTER MOVEMENT!