CLASSMATES!
Who am I to deserve such a great honor? Why I am NOTHING, without Mrs. Puff! And to my public, all I can say is: I'm touched. And furthermore, I shall carry out my duty...
...crime, and punishment. Punishment, and crime... IN THE HALL! ...
...which reminds me of an extremely long speech written by the greatest hall monitor of all time. "Friends, students, juvenile delinquents, lend me your ears!"...
...IN CONCLUSION, and without a moment to spare, I shall put on this uniform and assume my position as the HALL MONITOR!
Wish me luck, Mrs. Puff!
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EDIT: WTF!? 2000 POSTS IS STILL "SMASH LORD?" ****ING MOTHER OF ****ING CHRIST! GOD ****ING ****IT!