Legend of Zelda The Milk Bar [Archived]

[Lore]

Hehe, like the carpenter is going to come out of the game or something. When I was a kid, I just thought, "uh yeah whatever dude, I just want to see what's next."

Besides, I think that it was meant in a "Aw that kid is cute" kind of way like some people do with little kids. Girly people are usually the ones to do that anyway.

I still need to post here more.

 

[Spire]

...I think the theories on this forum are getting a bit out of hand

Well that wasn't really a theory at all, hence "doesn't matter".

 

[Kintenbo]

Well they're not going to put deliberately homosexual characters in a kids game, but that's obviously what they're hinting at with the 'girlie' aspect.

Falbi seems a bit on the more flamboyant side than the other implied folks.

 

[Creo]

I don't know if you were joking, but Tingle is not gay due to his dream of wanting to be surrounded by woman in his game, and dreams of being kissed by one, etc..
The fact is, he is not gay and needs some respect!
**Looks at my amazing sig**

 

[Kintenbo]

I don't know if you were joking, but Tingle is not gay due to his dream of wanting to be surrounded by woman in his game, and dreams of being kissed by one, etc..
The fact is, he is not gay and needs some respect!
**Looks at my amazing sig**

Glad to see I'm not the only one that believes in Tingle's straightness!

 

[Kingdom Come]

Tingle has never even seemed gay to me <_<

 

[Phantom7]

Hmmm... I wonder if Gorons are forced to be gay, and Gerudos are forced to be lesbians. I mean, they're both single-gender races.

 

[Spire]

These discussions need to stop really. They're tarnishing our merit.

 

[Phantom7]

Ahh, come on, I was just beginning to have fun with this...

I guess you're right, though. This really is getting out of hand.

 

[Luigitoilet]

What's wrong with lighthearted joking?

 

[Spire]

What's wrong with lighthearted joking?

Oh absolutely nothing. It just didn't seem like joking, rather somewhat serious discussion. If you want to joke about it, be my guest

 

[SkylerOcon]

Hmmm... I wonder if Gorons are forced to be gay, and Gerudos are forced to be lesbians. I mean, they're both single-gender races.

Well, if Gorons are an all male race, I don't think gay is an appropriate word. They have to reproduce somehow, and obviously its with another male.

The Gerudos are different, though. A male is born once every 100 years, right? So, obviously, the women will have sexual desires and they'll probably do it with other women to fulfill those desires. Though, I think in that light, it'd be seen much like it was way back when Roman Legionaires had sex with each other when they were out doing their thing - it's a form of bonding, and a way of coping with lonliness. Not necessarily an expression of love at all.

 

[Phantom7]

No, none of that is true...

They reproduce by BUDDING!!

 

[Luigitoilet]

Isn't there a gossip stone in OoT that says something about Gerudo women swooning over Hyrule soldiers or somesuch?

 

[Phantom7]

Yes, there is, actually, in Castle Town next to the Temple of Time. I believe it says something about Gerudos often going to Castle Town to pick up Hylian men.

 

[Carom]

Wow did not know about that Lol

 

[Phantom7]

Another one says that Malon wishes to be swept off of her feet by a Hylian soldier in shiny armor.

 

[Spire]

Another one says that Malon wishes to be swept off of her feet by a Hylian soldier in shiny armor.

I'm really not one for romances between Link and the females of the series, but it's heavily implied with Twilight Princess that Link and Malon wedded and such. I was recently studying the designs seen in Ordon Village, in the architecture, clothing, carvings of signs, and the culture itself and it really seems to be a balanced relationship between the Hero of Time's Kokiri roots and Malon's Lon Lon ranching roots. It's just perfect.

 

[Phantom7]

Hmmm... Interesting point, considering TP Link is supposedly a descendant of the Hero of Time. You really do have a valid point here, since the Ordonians live in trees, have a ranch positioned just south of the village, sell milk, and play with slingshots.

 

[Spire]

Even the Ordon goats conceptually represents both cultures. Its circular horn seems to signify the unity of both, while its blue and white striped fur somewhat represents the patterns seen on Lon Lon Milk bottles. Furthermore the goat is a more sylvan species, and a fair replacement for the horses of Lon Lon as they are both hooved quadruped species. I'm not sure if all of this really holds up, but from a purely conceptual standpoint, it makes sense to me.

Also, since it is widely speculated that Ordon Village is built atop the abandoned Kokiri Forest (because of how geographically similar they are and how both sport treehouses), it all makes even more sense. I'll write up a little timeline:

- Link travels back from Termina and ages naturally.
- Link joins the Hyrule castle guard to protect the Hyrule Royal Family.
- As revealed in one of the Gossip Stones in OoT, Malon wishes to be swept up by a knight in shining armor, so Link happens to do so.
- The two wed and decide to resettle in Link's home, the Kokiri Forest. Perhaps the Kokiri still existed at this time and helped the two settle in, along with any other settlers (like Talon and Ingo).
- Over time, the Kokiri leave the forest, as their job—as the forest spirits under the Deku Tree's command—is over. In the Adult Timeline, their job was to provide a home for the Hero of Time to grow up in so he could topple Ganondorf. In the Child Timeline, perhaps their role was to provide a home for Link and his following generations, and as they take new forms (monkeys), they'll continue to watch over and assist them.
- Link and Malon start the Hero of Time's bloodline.

 

[Kingdom Come]

Hmmm... I wonder if Gorons are forced to be gay, and Gerudos are forced to be lesbians. I mean, they're both single-gender races.

Gorons=Yoshi. They are asexual and probably lay eggs that have yet to be seen, but what doesn't make sense to me is if they are asexual how come the Gorons are seemingly extinct in WW?

Gerudo women would capture Hylian males and pretty much have sex with them whenever. And I am wondering if they only had 1 male every 100 years does that mean if another male was born before that period he had to be killed? What about in TP doesn't it take place a couple 100 years after OoT, where are the other male gerudo?

MINDBENDER!!!!!

 

[Beware the Jabberwocky]

Here is scientific proof to prove how gorons and gerudos have sex:

it's a Nintendo game, that is rated E. There is no sex, no gays, no lesbians. They reproduce when it is beneficial to the story. Yay, science.

 

[satowolf]

Gerudos hate men. They capture them as their slaves, **** them and produce children. Then they kill them afterwards. THAT'S how it's done!!! D:< *Brick'd*
---Or Maybe they're Hermaphrodites? >__>?

As for Gorons, I'm pretty sure they're aesexual or just a really buffed race of men and women *Shot*

Only Nintendo knows...
Those sick minded people >__>

 

[Phantom7]

Here is scientific proof to prove how gorons and gerudos have sex:

it's a Nintendo game, that is rated E. There is no sex, no gays, no lesbians. They reproduce when it is beneficial to the story. Yay, science.

No, no, no, no, no, the game is rated E because it doesn't show any of that. Surely some of them still reproduce sexually. Gerudos are like hookers. They go to the Castle Town back alleys to pick up random men and do who-knows-what with them. I'd guess many of them are prostitutes.

 

[Kingdom Come]

Gorons=Yoshi. They are asexual and probably lay eggs that have yet to be seen, but what doesn't make sense to me is if they are asexual how come the Gorons are seemingly extinct in WW?

Gerudo women would capture Hylian males and pretty much have sex with them whenever. And I am wondering if they only had 1 male every 100 years does that mean if another male was born before that period he had to be killed? What about in TP doesn't it take place a couple 100 years after OoT, where are the other male gerudo?

MINDBENDER!!!!!

Or this^^^^^^^^^^

 

[Phantom7]

Gorons=Yoshi. They are asexual and probably lay eggs that have yet to be seen, but what doesn't make sense to me is if they are asexual how come the Gorons are seemingly extinct in WW?

Gerudo women would capture Hylian males and pretty much have sex with them whenever. And I am wondering if they only had 1 male every 100 years does that mean if another male was born before that period he had to be killed? What about in TP doesn't it take place a couple 100 years after OoT, where are the other male gerudo?

MINDBENDER!!!!!

Except a male in born only every hundred years; there's never a mistake that causes it to happen sometime between.

 

[Lore]

Even the Ordon goats conceptually represents both cultures. Its circular horn seems to signify the unity of both, while its blue and white striped fur somewhat represents the patterns seen on Lon Lon Milk bottles. Furthermore the goat is a more sylvan species, and a fair replacement for the horses of Lon Lon as they are both hooved quadruped species. I'm not sure if all of this really holds up, but from a purely conceptual standpoint, it makes sense to me.

Also, since it is widely speculated that Ordon Village is built atop the abandoned Kokiri Forest (because of how geographically similar they are and how both sport treehouses), it all makes even more sense. I'll write up a little timeline:

- Link travels back from Termina and ages naturally.
- Link joins the Hyrule castle guard to protect the Hyrule Royal Family.
- As revealed in one of the Gossip Stones in OoT, Malon wishes to be swept up by a knight in shining armor, so Link happens to do so.
- The two wed and decide to resettle in Link's home, the Kokiri Forest. Perhaps the Kokiri still existed at this time and helped the two settle in, along with any other settlers (like Talon and Ingo).
- Over time, the Kokiri leave the forest, as their job—as the forest spirits under the Deku Tree's command—is over. In the Adult Timeline, their job was to provide a home for the Hero of Time to grow up in so he could topple Ganondorf. In the Child Timeline, perhaps their role was to provide a home for Link and his following generations, and as they take new forms (monkeys), they'll continue to watch over and assist them.
- Link and Malon start the Hero of Time's bloodline.

That makes a lot of sense.

Perhaps the forest expanded or they moved the ranch as well?

No, no, no, no, no, the game is rated E because it doesn't show any of that. Surely some of them still reproduce sexually. Gerudos are like hookers. They go to the Castle Town back alleys to pick up random men and do who-knows-what with them. I'd guess many of them are prostitutes.

^This.

Oh god the fanfic memories...

 

[Spire]

http://www.zeldainformer.com/2010/0...Feed:+zeldainformer+(ZeldaInformer+News+Feed)

 

[Beware the Jabberwocky]

Kotake and Koume!





For some reason, I cant get enough of those ladies.

 

[SkylerOcon]

Hahaha. That comic is great.

IRON KNUCKLE THAT'S RIGHT!

 

[Phantom7]

THIS vv

 

[Kingdom Come]

LMFAO. Turn Around....

 

[Masky]

Gorons=Yoshi. They are asexual and probably lay eggs that have yet to be seen, but what doesn't make sense to me is if they are asexual how come the Gorons are seemingly extinct in WW?

Gerudo women would capture Hylian males and pretty much have sex with them whenever. And I am wondering if they only had 1 male every 100 years does that mean if another male was born before that period he had to be killed? What about in TP doesn't it take place a couple 100 years after OoT, where are the other male gerudo?

MINDBENDER!!!!!

Gorons are in Spirit Tracks, so they couldn't have been extinct in WW. Unless if PH is an alternate dimension and some Gorons smuggled themselves on Linebeck's ship at the end of PH

 

[Spire]

See, now I'm just getting to the point where I don't care about Zelda canon and all that mess anymore. I really just want to enjoy the games for what they are.

Though I bet Zelda Wii will spark my interest and I'll be all over the theorizing once again.

 

[Beware the Jabberwocky]

See, now I'm just getting to the point where I don't care about Zelda canon and all that mess anymore. I really just want to enjoy the games for what they are.

Though I bet Zelda Wii will spark my interest and I'll be all over the theorizing once again.

Here here, ol' bean. I was all for theorizing and studying the games, but when it got to the point that I was getting angry at the games for the theories I/we were making, I decided that it's foolish and should just play the games the way they are meant to be played.

 

[Phantom7]

Ahh, don't give up, Spire! The Gorons may have been extinct in Hyrule (due to the flood), but they were probably around on the new Hyrule island for centuries.

 

[Spire]

Well for the record, the Gorons could not have gone extinct in Hyrule? Two reasons:
a) we see Goron merchants in WW.
b) as proven in TP, Gorons can actually live underwater.

Now know what would be awesome? A Zelda game based some long time after the WW/PH—ST arc where the Deku Trees have drained half the ocean and created a giant, lush land inhabited by all sorts of Deku, the river and sea Zora (the former are more abundant, the latter are very secluded), the Rito (who live at the mountain peaks), and an evolved species of Goron who from living at the bottom of the sea for centuries, have transformed into and adapted a coral complexion. You could play as Link, a traveler from New Hyrule (as seen in ST) after much technological advancement has been made. You are sent by Princess Zelda to explore "Old Hyrule", which is now half—as I previously stated—only partially underwater. Many lakes, rivers, swamps, and such. Imagine at the peaks of all the mountains, giant Deku Trees grow with their roots burrowing deep into the chasms and valleys that separate them from one another. Oh man, a big wave of inspiration has hit me. I'll probably end up making some artwork to accompany this idea.

 

[Kingdom Come]

Gorons are in Spirit Tracks, so they couldn't have been extinct in WW. Unless if PH is an alternate dimension and some Gorons smuggled themselves on Linebeck's ship at the end of PH

I said seemingly, because there was a goron in WW.

 

[Masky]

Well for the record, the Gorons could not have gone extinct in Hyrule? Two reasons:
a) we see Goron merchants in WW.
b) as proven in TP, Gorons can actually live underwater.

Now know what would be awesome? A Zelda game based some long time after the WW/PH—ST arc where the Deku Trees have drained half the ocean and created a giant, lush land inhabited by all sorts of Deku, the river and sea Zora (the former are more abundant, the latter are very secluded), the Rito (who live at the mountain peaks), and an evolved species of Goron who from living at the bottom of the sea for centuries, have transformed into and adapted a coral complexion. You could play as Link, a traveler from New Hyrule (as seen in ST) after much technological advancement has been made. You are sent by Princess Zelda to explore "Old Hyrule", which is now half—as I previously stated—only partially underwater. Many lakes, rivers, swamps, and such. Imagine at the peaks of all the mountains, giant Deku Trees grow with their roots burrowing deep into the chasms and valleys that separate them from one another. Oh man, a big wave of inspiration has hit me. I'll probably end up making some artwork to accompany this idea.

...That would kind of defeat the purpose of the King of Hyrule's wish on the triforce, wouldn't it?

 

[Spire]

...That would kind of defeat the purpose of the King of Hyrule's wish on the triforce, wouldn't it?

Not exactly. By the time this game happens, Hyrule hardly even exists anymore. Everything is in absolute ruin, covered in coral and vegetation and such. Plus, how lame is it that the Deku Tree has you plant numerous more Deku Trees around the Great Sea, only for the King's wish to completely hinder their purpose to restore Hyrule? Think of the revisited "Old Hyrule" in this game as the result of both the King's wish and the Great Deku Tree's resurrection of Hyrule. Rather than restoring an intact kingdom, it's simply the land that is restored.