The Johns i Just Dont Understand

[smallwolf24]

just the spamming part and the fact that I edgehog are funny ones IMO

 

[brawlmaniac]

I've never even heard of "johns" being used as excuses for losing.... Is this a recently invented word or something????????????

 

[Salvo Fenris]

I got one. "You use grab, and sheild!?! YOUR A CHEATER!!!" This actually happened. -_-;

Your =/= you're

Sorry, pet peeve. <.<

On topic... "Your controller is better than mine!"

 

[SaltyKracka]

Oddly enough, it annoys me when somebody is obviously winning, and just decides to go easy on me. It annoys the **** out of me.

 

[Crizthakidd]

inuis got the best jonh right now

"i sucked today man yesturday i climbed this freaking mountain im dead man...."lolol sirus bizniz jonhs

 

[SmashBrother2008]

Haha, best john: some kid in a wheel chair starts crying and says "you're cheap becuase you can actually use your thumbs! Baawwwww!" J/K LOL!

 

[The H Kid]

I know some people who have complained of not getting their personal costume of choice for the character. I once did a online tournament and one kid demanded a rematch againist me because he wasnt dark link.

Hahahaha thats sooo something a link main would do!

And the whole "First match of the day" is valid (mostly). Still an excuse though

 

[Anonymous.]

You wavecheated, no fair.

The black orb at the bottom of final destination was disrupting my play.

 

[brinboy789]

"this is your wii, so you obviously have the advantage"

-my friend. lol

 

[Delta_BP26]

My friend said he lost due to the fact that he has premature ejaculation.

That is ****ing hilarious.

Also, I love the classic "Combos are cheap," john.

 

[Denzi]

Dude, you're a n00b, you're just C-sticking.
(beat my friend like that once)

Some people consider using the C-stick (as opposed to direction + A) cheap.
I just don't get it.

 

[Hyper_Ridley]

"OMG stop grabbing me" - my brother in every match

Apparently it's wrong that my playstyle invloves a lot of grabbing.


@Denzi: I've never understood that one either.

 

[da K.I.D.]

"i dont even play this game"
this is a horrible john, and its also a trap.

 

[themrskills]

"My controller was unplugged." I used this one once, but only because my friend actually did unplug my controller. lolz

 

[SSD]

I don't hear many johns myself.

Only explanations.

"I was trying for a Bair" - Pit jumping backwards into a shield breaker.
Johns are annoying. Admission of stupidity is hilarious.

 

[Frozt]

"OMG samus' whip is so broken"

My favorite

 

[KillaFrmNY]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDP4uoiFuyg

Nuff said

 

[Greenstreet]

My friend said he lost due to the fact that he has premature ejaculation.

Best john eva. Stop maining ZSS.

 

[Marufuji Ryo]

"Stop using the arrows"

"Your Lucario is ****, you kept using the same moves.

 

[ZeroFox]

One of my noob suitemates told me he lost because I was playing too fast (I was really only SHFFing). He literally told me to "calm down" mid match.

Then I pick some random characters and let him have a few wins just to be nice, and he goes around bragging about how he beat me (He knows I'm a competitive Smasher and that I go to tournaments and stuff). Probably shouldn't have boosted his ego like that XD.

 

[Black_Heretic]

^^^ Unless that Noob was joking this has to be fake. Either that or, this guy just three stocked a blind dude....

I swear on anything that this happened, I know the guy, he was convinced that he was better then me and for 3 days after the tourney he proceeded to make excuses, that just happened to be the funniest one he said

he's also not blind

heres some other ones from him:
I was tired
my thumb hurt
I let you win because you needed the money
Snake ***** Olimar on Luigi's mansion (his CP stage)
Mortar Sliding is cheap
I was just off my game
my phone was ringing
I was hungry

^^ all for one loss

 

[Anonymous.]

The black orb at the bottom of final destination was disrupting my play.

I still think this is the greatest john of all time.

 

[SothE700k]

Some people consider using the C-stick (as opposed to direction + A) cheap.
I just don't get it.

And people who think that usually aren't good to begin with.

On topic: Because I won a tournament at a friend's house with Sonic (Stalling one match to my win, there was no rule against it, hehe), everyone wanted to beat me. After the tournament, I won 6 matches in a row against my 6 friends. Minutes later, someone starts saying, "Ok, I think me, and [this other guy] are the best smash players here."
I pipe up and say, "Wait a second! I just beat all of you in a row! I'm not even in the running!?"
He says, "No, because you edgehog."

>=/

 

[JackieRabbit5]

i don't like the term "john"

luckily i haven't encountered many sore losers

 

[Anonymous.]

And people who think that usually aren't good to begin with.

On topic: Because I won a tournament at a friend's house with Sonic (Stalling one match to my win, there was no rule against it, hehe), everyone wanted to beat me. After the tournament, I won 6 matches in a row against my 6 friends. Minutes later, someone starts saying, "Ok, I think me, and [this other guy] are the best smash players here."
I pipe up and say, "Wait a second! I just beat all of you in a row! I'm not even in the running!?"
He says, "No, because you edgehog."

>=/

Scrubs like those are the scrubs I hate.

You should have said "$20 MM? No edgeguarding?"

Thats what I do, and it works ^_^

 

[SothE700k]

Scrubs like those are the scrubs I hate.

You should have said "$20 MM? No edgeguarding?"

Thats what I do, and it works ^_^

I didn't have any money on me at the time. Otherwise, that sounds like an excellent idea!

 

[Anonymous.]

Well take an extra 10 bucks for MM's to tourneys when you go.

And when people challenge you at big tourneys, bring a list and confront them at the tourney.

 

[SothE700k]

Well take an extra 10 bucks for MM's to tourneys when you go.

And when people challenge you at big tourneys, bring a list and confront them at the tourney.

$10 sounds a bit much for me, i'm not a gambler. I'll bring $5 extra and go from there.

 

[Kowz]

Here's one:

"Stop trapping me so I can't move or do anything!!!"- Friend

"What do you mean?"- Me

"You know! Where you keep hitting me! It's annoying!"- Freind

"WTF? You mean combos?"- Me

"Call it whatever you want just stop!"- Friend



Wow. A new breed of noob. The "no combo" noob.

 

[AgentAO]

Lol my brothers:

"Holy crap, Sonic has no lag"

"Wow, they need to give Sonic some laggy attacks"

"**** you and your cheapass chaingrabbing" (Note: I don't overly abuse chaingrabing when I play DDD, only if I'm horribly losing, which is rare.)

"Wow, it is impossible to kill Jigglypuff"

Though I'll admit, I'm guilty of stage johning way too much.

 

[SYLAR]

"You were sniping."
... Okay, so I utilize ranged attacks...

"You only used one move."
And when I'm Link I like to spam bombs... it makes things interesting when things are exploding all the time. And then of course there's the Waddle-Dees, and the chain-grabbing with DeDeDe. Hey, if it works, use it, that's my opinion. There's always a way to avoid or counter.

"Of course you won, you were playing as Metaknight." (normally followed by "He should be banned")
I like Metaknight. He's in my top five, but I'm not very good with him. I just like the fact that he is "Death by Papercut" ... and the noises he makes are funny. I know, also, that he is supposedly godlike, but, saying that any character should be banned is like showing someone a pie, and then scraping all of the filling out before you give it to them. It doesn't make any sense.
Besides, what do I care about 'tiers'? All of my mains since the 64 have been 'bottom tiers' (64: Link, Melee: Mewtwo, Brawl: Yoshi)

And, admittedly, I am guilty of an excuse that could probably be considered a John... "You're not good at the game, you're good at getting the smash ball."
It makes sense in my mind, but apparently not to anyone else.

 

[brawlmaniac]

"My controller was unplugged." I used this one once, but only because my friend actually did unplug my controller. lolz

except this is actually a legitimate excuse for losing a match lol. People used to do that to me all the time.

 

[Onomanic]

Lol my brothers:

"Holy crap, Sonic has no lag"

"Wow, they need to give Sonic some laggy attacks"

"**** you and your cheapass chaingrabbing" (Note: I don't overly abuse chaingrabing when I play DDD, only if I'm horribly losing, which is rare.)

"Wow, it is impossible to kill Jigglypuff"

Though I'll admit, I'm guilty of stage johning way too much.

lol That's mostly Psychic Knees right? XD He johns way too much.

 

[blackanese]

johns are stupid in competetive matches. If they say "I only lost because I was using a low tier", you should say "well, maybe you should have used a high tier".

And please Blackanese, (this isn't meant to offend) could you use proper english. I hate reading b/c and u and y. Its annoying

lmfao next i make a thread i'll be sure to use proper english. for you, others, and as well as me when having to type a essay, but im just too used to it xD
xDD

I've never even heard of "johns" being used as excuses for losing.... Is this a recently invented word or something????????????

LMFAO oh man, go 2 a tourney and im sure youll see at least 1 guy complain due 2 the fact he/she lost

inuis got the best jonh right now

"i sucked today man yesturday i climbed this freaking mountain im dead man...."lolol sirus bizniz jonhs

lmfaoo i seen some1 having that as a sig xDD. i love inui though that sexy beast x]

 

[0RLY]

Cold hands is the ONLY legal john.

 

[ZeroFox]

Cold hands is the ONLY legal john.

Meh I don't know. While cold hands definitely affects your gameplay, I still think it's a bit of a lame excuse. Although less lame than others...

 

[Skyflyer]

"You only won because you used MK"

I HATE that one.

 

[themrskills]

"I haven't eaten all day". What does that mean? Who shows up to a tournament hungry?

 

[Black_Heretic]

Here's one:

"Stop trapping me so I can't move or do anything!!!"- Friend

"What do you mean?"- Me

"You know! Where you keep hitting me! It's annoying!"- Freind

"WTF? You mean combos?"- Me

"Call it whatever you want just stop!"- Friend



Wow. A new breed of noob. The "no combo" noob.

You must play Brawl like its a turn based RPG, take turns hitting, no combos

"I haven't eaten all day". What does that mean? Who shows up to a tournament hungry?

I have, don't do it, seriously

 

[MBlaze]

First match of the day is understandable but the others are just plain funny.