My solution is try to accept that cold hard realization that you really do not need anyone long term in your life. If anything, it would likely lead to disappointment and problems you cannot easily solve once started.
Its best to surround yourself with many people who only know trace amounts of your whole life.
I'm already that way, and have always felt "unwanted" even when I was a child. Now I tell myself that it's all worth it because life is better, that I'm a strong person that will probably be able to take care of myself over a lifetime. But it also feels like I'm giving up, and that I should believe what all my friends tell me, that someone exists, someone who can fulfill everything, who makes me feel needed. Someone who I "know" loves me. It's like life is all about being happy, and being in a relationship and feeling loved is a huge part of being happy. I want to believe that I could be loved, I'm torn between how things are, and how I want them to be.
I would not be able to tell IRL that White-Peach was trans.
Based on that picture anyway.
I live and work as a woman. Nobody knows my business unless they knew me from before. Even children, who are hardest to "pass" in front of, know that I'm a woman. It wasn't always like this. Before hormones, every once in a while, I'd get a funny look, and I'd think that the person "knew." Kids were worse, "Mommy, is that a boy or a girl?" Now it's "Grandma, is she a doctor?" It continues to get better over time.
Your post was sad as **** though, and I don't like how well you're taking these bigoted (and downright ********) responses.
YOU ARE A ****ING HUMAN. I DOESN'T EVEN MATTER IF YOU WERE XSEXUAL, FIND SOMEONE (anyone really) who ACCEPTS YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE AND BE WITH THEM. Damn I'm getting worked up here, but **** your posts are so depressing dudette. Never forget that. You're not a machine, not a monster but a ****ing human. .
It's sad, which is okay. But it's the same problem I've always had, which is the problem. Friends always catch up and ask if I've met anybody yet, and I always have the same answer. I try to dodge the topic now, because I don't want people burdened by my problems, I don't want to be a depressing person, because nobody likes being dragged down.
@White Peach
In life you must deal with the cards you're dealt. Peach, you're not a women and surgery can never make you one. You wallow in your loneliness, but to be honest be thankful that you have friends and stop being so sad. The archetype that everyone is supposed to find someone and have a relationship is BS, but if you don't like it, do something about it.
I was born a Scottish-American boy, I can't just change that, I live with it. Face the realization that few men or women would want to join a relationship with a transsexual. You're not a woman; you're a transgendered woman, so find someone else that is transgendered. That's just how attraction works.
If you ever lie or not tell someone about your surgery beforehand, you're no better than the horrible people you talked about earlier, I don't care how desperate.
I'm a 17 year old man with extreme social anxiety, a father incarcerated for stabbing me, a loving mother who is bedridden with CF. I learned how to just get over it and follow the right path and now I'm headed to a good school with a beautiful girlfriend and a mother in stable condition thanks to her caretaker (Me).
This post of yours reminds me a lot about myself, how I used to be. I hate to play the age card (young gwasshoppa~), and maybe this is the estrogen, but maybe when you get older, possibly grow as a person, you're less angry, and just want people, everybody, to be happy, whatever that means to them. Like my dad, for example. He's ex-military, Catholic, into cars, man-stuff. He doesn't talk much, we don't really have conversations. But he used to be a little ashamed of me, a few years ago. I don't really know what happened in his head up to this point, but he's changed, the same person, but he's more loving than I've ever known him to be. He tells me he loves me. He tells me that he wants me to be happy.
He avoids talking to me about relationships because he knows that, even though this is where I should be, where I should be deriving my happiness from at this point in my life, he knows I can't. I get up, go to work, cook, talk with my mother, shower, and sleep. I've made all the changes I've wanted to in my life without asking for help, I've done everything I said I would do without support or encouragement (even being strongly discouraged by my family.) He told me that he was proud of me because I was independent, and that I was doing something that was hard to do and not asking for help.
He was talking to me one day while I was in the kitchen (I'm always cooking!), one of those "daddy lectures." He decides to talk about how things are, how they should be, who he is, what he's done, and what he expects of us. A "daddy lecture."
And he said, "You 3 are old enough now to make your own decisions, I just want you guys to be happy." He leaned over to me and said "and girl" and smiled in his goofy daddy smile. I was so surprised, I hugged him. We're not an outwardly affectionate family, so hugs are rare occurrences!) He and I never really had a conversation about this stuff, but all on his own, he changed. I told my mom what he had said, that he called me a girl, while he was there, and he chimed in "Oh my God, I got a hug out of that!" to my mom.
He's still a rules type of person, but he now puts something first, happiness. He doesn't care what it is, as long as it makes me happy, because being happy is everyone's right, and he knows that he's never seen me this happy since I was very little. He supports it.
***
I'm sorry that wasn't a direct response, because just answering in-kind wouldnt do anything. I've already accepted how things are and made the best of it, that's why my life is like this. It's a positive thing. I've already lived an exemplary life, been to a good school (with a fat scholarship), became a registered nurse, and live my life now, helping people who need help. All without stepping on people along the way. I am, for the most part, the person I want to be. There are some things I'm trying to work on that I worry about, the same old things. I just think that, completely disregarding the (personal) topic at hand, you're deciding what's "enough" for other people. It's like saying that I don't "deserve" the same things you do, because our cards are different. I just think everyone should be loved, wanted, cared for. Everyone should feel special to someone. I think that's a universal right. From what I see, you don't agree. And I guess that's okay, you're not affecting my life in any way.
LONG POST IS LONG Y'ALL!
