PGD: Happy Birthday, Red!

[Phantom Gamer]

Scorpions, snakes, spiders, fire ants.....same ****. We don't have that mess up here, at least not in the city.

Lucky for you in Texas I believe only scorpions found there fit the criteria as a "poisonous bug". Possibly they might have poisonous spiders there too, but not to my knowledge.

Excluding zoos of course.

 

[Phoenix Lord']

All spiders are poisonous to society.

 

[Maaaaaaaaaan]

Aww, snakes are cool tho.

Spiders are everywhere. Do not be complacent. They're in your house right now. They're quietly walking along the baseboards of your living room... the backside of your toilet... in the laundry area...

Scorpions are cool too. They're like mean af tanks with battle armor.

 

[Zajice]

Brown Recluses sure love CO.

 

[redfeatherraven]

Max10n got a point. Spiders errywhere.

Least they're eating all the other, worse-than-spider crap.

 

[~automatic]

You should just come to the NorCal forest. The only poisonous things up here are plants that are easily identifiable.

 

[Geoberos]

Hire the local Asian to take care of those pests and make a meal too.

 

[KayLo!]

I don't mind harmless, friendly neighborhood house spiders.... I see those all the time. It's the brown recluse/black widow/hobo mother****ers I can't deal with.

& I thought the Denver area of CO was relatively pest-free? I'm thinking of moving out of Philly soon, and I've been no joke researching City-Data forums to see which cities are the least infested.

 

[Player -0]

Spiders and Scorpions are arachnids.

SC only has cockroaches, which are terrible. I guess there's the occasional other thing but whatev.

 

[KayLo!]

I guess there's the occasional other thing but whatev.

What??? What does that even mean?!

 

[Player -0]

Well there's always poisonous spiders places but they're not common in SC afaik. A couple years back there was a snake by the pool and stuff but snakes aren't super common. They pop up sometimes but not a lot.

But sometimes... There's aliens.

 

[Maaaaaaaaaan]

Lmao, Spiders are a necessary thing though. Honestly, worst thing that happens if you get bitten by a Brown Recluse is a hell of a painful bite. Iirc, spider bite deaths have only ever happened in kids younger than 7. Most common problem that would cause an adult is painful skin problems for a bit.

Not to mention, Texas is a little bit wide of normal hangouts for the brown recluse. Most common place for them is Southeastern/Midwest states. They've definitely been found here, but they're not commonly in cities.

I absolutely don't like spiders up close to me, but they're really pretty cool and mostly harmless. The chance of you being bitten by a real dangerous one is most likely less than getting into a serious car crash. Scary thing, but like most scary things, not really worth stressing over. :D

 

[KayLo!]

So what you're saying is..... when I die via spider bite, I reserve the right to have my tombstone say "To Austin: I told you so. I'll be waiting to torment your lying ass in the afterlife. xoxo"

Also, I beg to differ that (poisonous) spiders are a necessary thing. We don't have that **** up in the northeast -- there has to be another equally safe area in the country.

EDIT: Alsoalso, I have a dog. A small one. I don't want him to die either.

 

[Phoenix Lord']

No, the worst thing that happens is they crawl into your mouth while you're sleeping and lay eggs in your stomach, and then they burrow up to your head and eat your brain. Then in the morning you have no brain and you poop out baby spiders.

Also, if they touch your skin you get spider-cooties.

Also also, 3 of their 8 eyes can see into the future so it's impossible to outsmart them.

 

[Sinister Slush]

I'm pretty sure their 8 legs have enough strength in them to let them jump a 20 story high building.
Alsoalso, Philly has brown recluse and black widows too

 

[KayLo!]

@Bobby: I had a friend who had a mosquito try to lay eggs in his ear while he was sleeping. Nothing is impossible.

& real spiders require trees. We don't have those in Philly -- that's why we only get house spiders, lol.

 

[Phantom Gamer]

I'm sure real spiders would just consider your buildings as stone trees. They can't tell the difference between wood trees and stone trees.

 

[Maaaaaaaaaan]

I imagine a lot of my friends' tombstones will say some variation of "Goddammit Austin."

My legacy will be one of immense idiocy!

 

[Geoberos]

Here lies Darren
His Great Wall finally overtaken by Mongilans
And also Austin's integrity

 

[Phoenix Lord']

 

[KayLo!]

What the....

What am I looking at??

 

[redfeatherraven]

Bobby's waifu in a spiderweb.

 

[Zajice]

Ya'll missed mine on the 28th too.

 

[~automatic]

Nobody is getting theirs apparently.

 

[Strong Badam]

I have arrived

 

[Scatz]

I come back in here to see a conversation about Spiders.....

 

[redfeatherraven]

More spider conversation?

Don't want any part of that.

 

[KayLo!]

Ya'll missed mine on the 28th too.

Damn Zaj, I'm sorry. Happy belated, boo. <3

 

[Phoenix Lord']

What the....

What am I looking at??

Free IT Values, apparently. I was studying for a final, and one of the powerpoint slides was just that picture under that title. No explanation whatsoever. I felt like it was relevant to the conversation at hand.

Bobby's waifu in a spiderweb.

Red, you ignorant ****, I have no waifu because the only woman I truly love is fictionally unavailable.

 

[Scatz]

 

[redfeatherraven]

Red, you ignorant ****, I have no waifu because the only woman I truly love is fictionally unavailable.

Oh?

And how would you like to go about revealing your fictionally unavailable waifu to the class?

 

[Phantom Gamer]

Damn Zaj, I'm sorry. Happy belated, boo. <3

I'm positive you forgot mine too on 2/21.

 

[KayLo!]

K no more birthdays for anyone.

 

[redfeatherraven]

Aww.

Well, I got four months to change your mind.

 

[Maaaaaaaaaan]

UNBIRTHDAYS FOR ALL

 

[Strong Badam]

I am the last birthday.
Everyone is jealous for all eternity.

 

[Scatz]

I already got my Bday. I'm good to go.

 

[Phoenix Lord']

I don't see what all the commotion is about; everyone whose birthdays were forgotten are no more than C list posters anyway. Kendall's just been far too busy lately, so she only has time for B list and up.

And how would you like to go about revealing your fictionally unavailable waifu to the class?

Don't worry about it, buddy, it's just some broad from Gintama.

 

[Phantom Gamer]

I don't see what all the commotion is about; everyone whose birthdays were forgotten are no more than C list posters anyway. Kendall's just been far too busy lately, so she only has time for B list and up.

What makes Strong Bad a B list poster even? lol

 

[redfeatherraven]

What makes Strong Bad a B list poster even? lol

I mean I can think of a couple of reasons.