K: Don't call me tetchy, you know what happens when you call me tetchy.
L: Well I'm calling you it now, that's exactly what I'm calling you tetchy, tetchy, TETCHY.
K: It's just as well I can't hear you, it's just as well I can't hear you calling me tetchy, you know what happens when you call me tetchy. OH NO. Didn't I warn you what would happen.
C: No
K: I'm putting it on
C: He's putting it on
K: I'm putting it on
L: Kryten if you put that on I'm not helping you out, not again.
K: You think I need your help. You think I can't remove my own head from the waste disposal unit.
C: Next time it won't be the waste disposal Frankenstien, I'm going to unscrew you neck bolts and tap dance the fandago on your throat
K: Frankenstien was the creator, not the monster. It's a common misconception held by all truly stupid people
C: Don't correct me you know it really gets my feckles up
K: It's hackles you moron, it really gets your hackles up, there's no such word as feckles
C: Feckles heckles, shmeckls, there up right now and I'm pointing them at you buddy.
K: Yeah
C: Yeah
K: Yeah
L: Guys, guys guys look at us, what's happened to us. 5 days on a sprout only diet and we've all turned into crazies.
K: Alright just don't call me tetchy and don't blow your nose.
C: Don't put on that video and don't correct me.
L: Alright we're going to get through this.
C,K: AND DON'T SAY WE'RE GOING TO GET THROUGH THIS
K: Inane chirpy optimism.
L: This is insane we've being here 5 days theres no sign of any virus.
K: That's it 5 days we can demand a rescreening
C: Oh he'll refuse
K: He can't he's playing it by the rule book we've nailed him.
R: Gentlemen your conversation makes interesting listening.
L: Rimmer is that you.
R: Oh yes
C: How long have you been listening
R: three maybe four hours
K: You have to rescreen us sir under space core directive number 5 1 7
L: Listen no-one's got any virus and no-one's smegging nuts.
R: Well that's good
R: Is something amiss
L: No, what could possibly be amiss
R: I'm standing here in a red and white checkered gingham dress, and army boots and you don't think there's anything amiss?
C: Oh course not we'd all thought you'd gone nuts we were trying to humour you.
R: I was just doing a little test to see if you'd gone crazy... NEUGHHHHHHHHHHH
L: Well we've passed the test Rimmer you can lets us out.
R: I can't let you out.
L: Why not?
R: The king of the potato people won't let me. I got down on my knees and wept. He wants to keep you here, keep you here for ten years
C: Can we see him
R: See who
C: The king
R: Do you have a magic carpet
L: Yeah, a little three seater
R: So let me get this straight, you want to fly on a magic carpet to see the king of the potato people, and plead with him for your freedom...And you're telling me you're completely sane. I think that calls for 3 hours of WOO.
L: What's WOO
C: Glad you asked
R: With Out Oxygen. No oxygen for 3 hours, that ought to teach you for being bread baskets.
Would do more but need sleep, did this off the top of my head so there may be the odd error. The ball is in your court now Luke.