I disagree. Its a simple matter of hypocrisy.
If you're going to yell at someone for doing a crime, but you wind up in jail yourself, then how valid are the points you're trying to make?
You discredit yourself by being a hypocrite, but you hold yourself in high regards based on the same hypocritical logic.
But thats my 2 copper.
because it's not a perfect world and everyone is hypocritical in some way. nevermind that nothing is ever absolute in any context.
anyway, if you're really curious as to why i do it, you could think about it some more. i'm pretty logical so it's all gonna follow a logical train of thought.
why should people not john? because most of the time, whether it's true or not, the same john could also apply to the other person (if not at that specific time, an undetermined one in the future), so in reality it's just a boundary that all people have to go through in some form or fashion to accomplish what they set out to do. that, and because it makes you sound like a huge noob (because of the above).
so why am i "johning" now? well one, enough time has passed from the mm to the point where it's not like it just happened and i'm all waving my hands no, like "nah nah that doesn't even count, it happened like this." i fully admit it "counts," and that's why i'm making sure i keep working on it so it doesn't happen again.
two, i don't care if i sound like a noob, because i'd rather have people discredit me and not like me for all the wrong reasons than to ever not be honest.
three, anyone who does know me WOULD vouch that the pressure definitely affected me more. actually i googled how to not choke under pressure and some links were like "smarter people are more prone to choking." i'm not saying that to toot my own horn or believing it just so i feel better about my failures, nah, i'm just saying my analytical thought process probably didn't predispose me to doing BETTER in that situation, let's put it that way. in other words, i have a history of choking, so it's pretty natural to expect, in a situation more high stress than any other comparable situation i've been in, i'm not gonna suddenly learn how not to choke on the biggest of stages.
that's why i'm making it a point to learn how not to choke now, because now, in between that failure and the next time we do an even bigger mm is when i'm going to learn how not to choke. just like in between the time from when i arranged a mm with sethlon and it actually took place is when i should have been learning how to fight roy, not just assuming i'd learn how to deal with it on the fly.
there's also the added benefit of publically johning that here (trust me, i'd never john in a situation where most people didn't have a decent idea of who / what i am, i'd just take it like a man) it's going to plant the seed for making the next mm even bigger and having that much more tension, which is exactly what i want (and the reason i talked so much **** before our first mm -- gotta learn the hard way, knawmsayin', even if you gotta manufacture some of the tension yourself).
sorry for writing too much =(
