In ancient Equestria... 300 ponies stood against many...
Fluttershy: Spammer
Dash: Yes, my Lady
Fluttershy: Come back with your account, or on it
Derpy: Mods, they failed Celestia's test, and a pony who fancies herself a god feels a very human chill crawl up her mane.
Celestia: Choose your next posts carefully, Dash. They may be your last, as King.
Dash: You bring the names and avatars of banned spamming accounts to my thread, you insult my queen and you threaten my spammers with banning and loss of friendship sparkles... Oh I’ve chosen my posts carefully, Princess. Perhaps you should have done the same.
Dash: You have many soldiers, Celestia. But few warriors. It won't be long before they fear my spammers more than your whips.
Celestia: It's not the lash they fear. It is my divine power.
Dash: This is where we spam! This is where they fail!
Derpy: On these keyboards, boys!
[Spammers cheer]
Dash: Remember this day, ponies, for it will be yours for all time.
Luna: Our posters will block out the sun.
Derpy: Then we will spam in the shade.
Dash: My spammers, gather round! No retreat, no surrender; that is Spammer's law and by Spammer's law we will stand and spam... and lose our friendship sparkles. A new age has begun. An age of relentless spamming, and everypony will know, that 300 ponies gave their friendship sparkles to defend it!
Fluttershy: For 500 days they've served the dark will of Canterlot kings. Eyes as dark as night... teeth, filed to fangs... souless. The personal guard to princess Celestia herself, the Canterlot poster elite. The deadliest posting force in all of Smashboards. The Mods.
Dash: Submission...that's a bit of a problem. See rumor has it, the Naruto thread has already turned you down. And if those philosophers and eh, weeaboo lovers have that kind of nerve...!
Celestia: Yours is a fascinating clan. Defiant even in the face of banning and loss of friendship sparkles. There is much our cultures could share.
Dash: Perhaps you haven't noticed, but we've been sharing our culture with you all morning.
Dash: Moderators... we'll put their name to the test.
[Derpy is putting a patch over his cutie mark]
Dash: Derpy, I trust that "scratch" hasn't made you useless.
Derpy: Hardly, my lord, it's just a cutie mark. The gods saw fit to grace me with a spare.
Dash: This is where we hold them. This is where we spam. This is where they fail.
Celestia: Your Naruto rivals will stop posting... if you will but stop posting.
Dash: That is quite an offer. Only a mad pony would refuse it. But this stop posting business... I'm afraid spamming all those threads of yours has left me with a nasty cramp in the hand I type surrender with.
Dash: Then what must a pony do to save his village when the very laws he has sworn to protect force him to do nothing?
Fluttershy: It is not a question of what a Ponyville citizen should do, nor a husband, nor a king. Instead, ask yourself, my dearest love, what should a free pony do?
Celestia: I will erase your posts from the forum......The world will never even know you existed at all.
Dash: The world will know that free spammers stood against the mods, that few ponies stood against many.
Celestia: Consider the fate of your mares.
Dash: Clearly you don't know our mares! I might as well have trotted them up here judging by what I've seen.
Dash: Spammers! Ready your troughs and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in the Everfree Forest!
Fluttershy: I am not here to represent Dash; his spam speaks louder than my posts ever could. I am here for all those voices which cannot be heard: mares, fillies, sires, colts - three hundred families that bleed for our rights, and for the very principles this stable was built upon. We are at war, gentleponies. We must send the entire spam army to aid our king in the preservation of not just ourselves, but of our mares. Send the army for the preservation of liberty. Send it for justice. Send it for law and order. Send it for reason. But most importantly, send our army for hope - hope that a king and his ponies have not been wasted to the pages of a forum - that their friendship bonds us together, that we are made stronger by their actions, and that your choices today reflect their bravery.
Derpy: We Spammers have descended from Masterlinkx himself. Taught never to retreat, never to surrender. Taught that being banned for spamming in the forums is the greatest glory he could achieve with his account. Spammers: the finest soldiers the world has ever known.
Luna: [before ****** Fluttershy] This will not be over quickly. You will not enjoy this. I am not your Queen.
Luna: My ***** Queen...
Fluttershy: [stabs Luna] This will not be over quickly! You will not enjoy this! I am not your Queen!
Dash: You there! What is your profession?
[points to a poster behind Luna]
Soldier #1: A creator of pony gifs, sir.
Dash: Hm... and you, poster - what is your profession?
[points to another poster]
Soldier #2: I'm a maker of YouTube Poop, sir.
Dash: [turns to his posters] Ponies! What is your profession?
Ponies: Spam! Spam! Spam!
[simultaneous, followed and preceded by immediate silence]
Dash: [turning to Luna] You see, old friend? I brought more spammers than you did.