Link to original post: [drupal=1318]I need to vent out...[/drupal]
Hey guys, I kinda dragged myself out of bed to come write on this. I just started thinking about things and decided I needed to finally just write it all out.
So anyway, quite a few people on here have seen me post in Azua's "Something Bothering You?" thread. I frequent it lately. Mostly about my bestfriend, and the issues with her boyfriend. Lately, I've let slip out that she's like the only girl I've really liked. So why not just write everything out? I like the people on SWF for a reason. They won't judge you, unless you have horrid grammar. So, I decided to blog about this.
Well, let's begin with the story. My story, I guess you could say. Around 4 years ago, I met her at Tennis Practice. I had recently picked up Tennis after playing baseball for so many years. I was looking for a fall sport to keep me active, and in shape for baseball. Well, back to her, anyways. I talked to her some that year and got to know her a bit. The next two years we became friends. It wasn't til last year when I really started getting feelings for her. I had really fallen for her hard. I didn't know what to do. So I did what's called, the bestfriend card. I became friends with her bestfriend, in hopes of getting her approval. I mean seriously, we all know a girl's bestfriend has influence over who she will date. I played that accordingly, and got in good with her. I had things going in allignment. Everything was going good. I'd heard she often felt she liked me, but wasn't for sure. (Now, I get it. You'll get what I mean further down this wall of text)
So, I pursued her. It was a risky thing, since she was my friend after all. But nevertheless, I thought it was worth risking. Well, by the support of others, who often said we should date. It built up my confidence, enough to actually go after her. If others thought we should date , she would to? Wrong. Well, here's a risky part of becoming a girl's friend. They don't wanna have the chance of losing you. So instead of taking a risk, they want to play if safe and keep you as their friend. But that's okay after you rip out our heart, stick it down our throat and still want to be friends. (I lied Tagz, it was relevant.)
Basically let me fill you in on the whole process, I didn't know what to do. I was confused the entire time about it. I was a jerk, a ****ing little immature jerk who turned out to made her feel worse than better. I only learned of this a few months ago. Apparently, I was blinded and didn't see how I was acting. We became distant for a while after that. Shortly after we started talking again, we had multiple classes it was inevitable.
Then I came up with the stupidest thing ever. Well if she wants me to stay her friend, maybe if I'm not she'll consider me. WHAT?! Rewind. How the hell does that make any sense whatsoever? Doesn't that completely destroy the point of her wanting to keep me close? Yes. I was a "grade A" *******, let me tell ya. Yeah, I'll show her. What a ****.
Anyways, summer came we didn't see each other. School started back and it was forgiven and forgotten, we instantly started talking again. Spent loads of time together, and got caught up. I loved it. Something about being around her just makes me happy.
Alright, so I've grown up a lot since last year. I'm no longer as immature, that's for sure. I really never got over those feelings for her to go away. I dated quite a few people in between. Ask people I'm close to, they'll tell ya. It was like a new girl every two weeks. Couldn't ever get the feelings for her out of my mind. I'd be mid conversation with other girls, and leave them to go talk to her. That didn't work well, hahahah. Did I care? Not a bit. Did they? Oh yeahh. Well, I got over that by November.
So it's now '09. She got a boyfriend, who now reveals him self to be like a freaking psycho. She's afraid to break up with him. Because of what he'll do. Like he went crazy when she said they needed time off. Anyways, for some reason around this time, all these bottled up emotions for her just like burst out. I don't know what set it off, but now can't get it out of my mind. It's driving me insane. Seriously, I try to talk about other girls. Even though, that's a lame thing, still I thought it might work. It hasn't of course. But seriously, I had to get this out. I don't know what to do.
I probably left out a lot of details, and skipped around. I'm really tired, but I needed to get this off of my chest.
Thanks for reading.
Hey guys, I kinda dragged myself out of bed to come write on this. I just started thinking about things and decided I needed to finally just write it all out.
So anyway, quite a few people on here have seen me post in Azua's "Something Bothering You?" thread. I frequent it lately. Mostly about my bestfriend, and the issues with her boyfriend. Lately, I've let slip out that she's like the only girl I've really liked. So why not just write everything out? I like the people on SWF for a reason. They won't judge you, unless you have horrid grammar. So, I decided to blog about this.
Well, let's begin with the story. My story, I guess you could say. Around 4 years ago, I met her at Tennis Practice. I had recently picked up Tennis after playing baseball for so many years. I was looking for a fall sport to keep me active, and in shape for baseball. Well, back to her, anyways. I talked to her some that year and got to know her a bit. The next two years we became friends. It wasn't til last year when I really started getting feelings for her. I had really fallen for her hard. I didn't know what to do. So I did what's called, the bestfriend card. I became friends with her bestfriend, in hopes of getting her approval. I mean seriously, we all know a girl's bestfriend has influence over who she will date. I played that accordingly, and got in good with her. I had things going in allignment. Everything was going good. I'd heard she often felt she liked me, but wasn't for sure. (Now, I get it. You'll get what I mean further down this wall of text)
So, I pursued her. It was a risky thing, since she was my friend after all. But nevertheless, I thought it was worth risking. Well, by the support of others, who often said we should date. It built up my confidence, enough to actually go after her. If others thought we should date , she would to? Wrong. Well, here's a risky part of becoming a girl's friend. They don't wanna have the chance of losing you. So instead of taking a risk, they want to play if safe and keep you as their friend. But that's okay after you rip out our heart, stick it down our throat and still want to be friends. (I lied Tagz, it was relevant.)
Basically let me fill you in on the whole process, I didn't know what to do. I was confused the entire time about it. I was a jerk, a ****ing little immature jerk who turned out to made her feel worse than better. I only learned of this a few months ago. Apparently, I was blinded and didn't see how I was acting. We became distant for a while after that. Shortly after we started talking again, we had multiple classes it was inevitable.
Then I came up with the stupidest thing ever. Well if she wants me to stay her friend, maybe if I'm not she'll consider me. WHAT?! Rewind. How the hell does that make any sense whatsoever? Doesn't that completely destroy the point of her wanting to keep me close? Yes. I was a "grade A" *******, let me tell ya. Yeah, I'll show her. What a ****.
Anyways, summer came we didn't see each other. School started back and it was forgiven and forgotten, we instantly started talking again. Spent loads of time together, and got caught up. I loved it. Something about being around her just makes me happy.
Alright, so I've grown up a lot since last year. I'm no longer as immature, that's for sure. I really never got over those feelings for her to go away. I dated quite a few people in between. Ask people I'm close to, they'll tell ya. It was like a new girl every two weeks. Couldn't ever get the feelings for her out of my mind. I'd be mid conversation with other girls, and leave them to go talk to her. That didn't work well, hahahah. Did I care? Not a bit. Did they? Oh yeahh. Well, I got over that by November.
So it's now '09. She got a boyfriend, who now reveals him self to be like a freaking psycho. She's afraid to break up with him. Because of what he'll do. Like he went crazy when she said they needed time off. Anyways, for some reason around this time, all these bottled up emotions for her just like burst out. I don't know what set it off, but now can't get it out of my mind. It's driving me insane. Seriously, I try to talk about other girls. Even though, that's a lame thing, still I thought it might work. It hasn't of course. But seriously, I had to get this out. I don't know what to do.
I probably left out a lot of details, and skipped around. I'm really tired, but I needed to get this off of my chest.
Thanks for reading.
Hmmmmm.....whether you except my advice or not, I'll just say what I'm thinking anyway.....okay? 
