Q&A How to Wreck *****es with Ganon?- Linguini Q&A Thread

[Эикельманн [РУС]]

 

[Master Ppv]

Joe, you have an interesting group here.

 

[PseudoTurtle]

These guys are my boys, ppv. What happens in the ganon forums stays in the ganon forums. Lol, but you actually had a lot of good stuff to say in critique of my mediocre play. I agree that all I do is DD, get impatient, take your bait, and throw out a random and highly misplaced fair. Im so frustrated. But whatever I'm sure I'll improve in time. not a big deal everybody starts somewhere, right?

Also, what did you guys think about ppv's critique? Legitimate? He's been playing longer than I have and can beat me with nearly any character lmao, so I'm assuming he knows what he's talking about.

EDIT: Also, Ian, that is quite possibly the manliest pic I have ever seen. Even if there is a unicorn involved.

 

[RaphaelRobo]

I thought his critique seemed pretty good. Not ss good as that picture, though.

 

[Эикельманн [РУС]]

Joe, you have an interesting group here.

 

[G. Vice]

Not all of us Ganons stand in support of stuff like that ganon and pony. Besides, it wouldn't make sense that Ganon is g@y since he's the only male in a tribe of nothing but women.

He's a mac daddy.

 

[Эикельманн [РУС]]

not a pony, bro.

a ****in unicorn lmao

 

[RaphaelRobo]

It's a unicorn pegasus thing. It's the manliest horse creature there is, so it's fitting that Ganon would ride it.

 

[Fortress | Sveet]

Do you think ganondorf has parents? I think yes, but does that mean he killed his mother and father? Also, my theory is that the gerudo just have a low birthrate, so ganon's dad was banging them all for 100 years before finally one got preg, then he passed out and died from a life well spent

 

[RaphaelRobo]

I doubt Ganon killed his parents. What motivation would he have for that?

It's more likely that they died of old age, since a male is only born every 100 years.

 

[G. Vice]

I doubt Ganon killed his parents. What motivation would he have for that?

It's more likely that they died of old age, since a male is only born every 100 years.

He definitely killed his dad. His dad was a fool to not smother him in the cradle, because he knew that once he got grown the women wouldn't want his old wrinkly self. He'd be getting all the honies. So Ganon decided to create a monopoly of male-kind and killed his dad. His mom then offed herself because of her extreme desire to make love to her son, and realized she could not.

Ganon was then taken in as a young adolescent and "cared for" by his sexy female 26 yr old neighbor

 

[Jockmaster]

Ganon's final smash shouldve involved him riding his trademark pony

 

[RaphaelRobo]

What his final smash is doesn't matter, because seeing it would require playing Brawl, and who in their right mind is going to do that?

 

[Bl@ckChris]

what...happened...here...

 

[Эикельманн [РУС]]

Do you think ganondorf has parents? I think yes, but does that mean he killed his mother and father? Also, my theory is that the gerudo just have a low birthrate, so ganon's dad was banging them all for 100 years before finally one got preg, then he passed out and died from a life well spent

Ganon was spawned. I'm guessing you haven't played Skyward Sword, lol.

Basically, thousands of years before Ocarina of Time, Skyward Sword happened. When Demise was defeated at the hands of the first REAL "Link" in his final breaths, Demise vows that an incarnation of his hatred will be reborn in a cycle without end, cursing those with the blood of the goddess or the spirit of the hero. After Demise's body dissolves, his residual consciousness is absorbed into the Master Sword before the weapon is sealed away so the fiend can completely dissolve over time.

Kotake and Koume, or Twinrova, took Ganondorf under their care and taught him everything he knew. They were his surrogate mothers.

 

[RaphaelRobo]

That's not what actually happened. You've forgotten this:

In order to explain why Ganon isn't evil and is actually a hero, I created this:

Spoiler

The Real History of Zelda

One day Ganondorf was making out with Hylia, like he usually does. Then, suddenly, she died. However, on the very last frame before she finished dying, Ganondorf thought to himself "Wouldn't it be nice if Hylia didn't die so we could keep making out? She's got such a nice body." And because Ganondorf was so powerful, Hylia was frozen in time, and Demise was created and sent back in time in order to save her life.
Demise had a very mischevious plan for how to save Hylia. First, he made some random girl his chosimba one. This girl was named Ghirahim. Then he made her meet this other guy, named Agahnim, and had him meet Ghirahim. They found out their names rhymed, so they fell in love. However, Demise doesn't like things that rhyme, so he killed Agahnim.
Ghirahim was really sad about this, because he was a girl, and girls get really emotional. So then Hylia sent Ghirahim back in time so he could save Agahnim, destroy demise, and free Hylia so she could die. But then demise imprisoned Ghirahim and made a clone of Ghirahim, who was a boy, and sent him forward in time so he could become the prince of devils or whatever he was. Then Demise made a clone of Agahnim, and sent him really far forward in time so he could give people a link to the past.
Hylia had to come up with a new plan now for how to destroy Demise, so she decided to crash an asteroid into the earth. Then she realized this would cause a nuclear winter, so instead decided to crash a much smaller asteroid into the place where demise was. Then she found some loser named link and installed a supercomputer in his brain. This gave him the power to fight really well and be really smart, so he went to go free Hylia.
Now at this point you're probably wondering how Hylia was doing all this when she was frozen in time. Because she's a goddess, her mind is really overweight, so it kind of spilled out of the frozen time bubble. Her body was still there, though. Anyway, Link fought a bunch of people, but they were no match for his supercomputer, because he was essentially using an Action Replay in real life. Anyway, he wasn't able to stop Hylia from dying, but he sent her really far back in time, and then she died and stuck her soul in the body of some girl.
Demise hadn't been able to stop Hylia from dying, so he was really sad about failing in his responsibility. He didn't want anyone to see him crying, so he imprisoned himself in a sword. He fought that guy with the AR head, and got beaten buy him.
He felt sorry for the AR guy, because he was a real loser, so gave him a hint about Ganondorf, the ultra powerful 3.5 edition Warlock who created Demise. However, this was misinterpreted as Demise having created Ganondorf. A long time later, Hylia's meteor crashed into the earth, and destroyed the sword where Demise was crying, even though he couldn't be crying there anymore because he was dead. Clearly Hylia's brain isn't working properly.
Because Demise was created by accident, Ganondorf didn't know anything about it, and was really sad when Hylia died. He decided to try to bring her back to life so he could continue to make out with her. Plus, she'd almost gotten the hang of wavedashing. He heard about this thing called the Triforce, which he could use to bring her back to life, so he could try to get all of this.
Ganondorf set his plan in motion. He was going to get the Triforce, bring Hylia back to life, make out with her for a few years, then make all of Hyrule a peaceful place where everyone could live happily ever after. However, there was an evil woman who hated the word love named "Impa". She told Zelda that Ganondorf was evil and trying to make the world a horrible place. Zelda told Link this. When Ganondorf finally set his plan in motion, Link went forward in time. During the time he was gone, Ganondorf tried really hard to make the world a nice place.
However, Impa became bigger and stronger and changed her name to Beelza, and trained Sheik to be like her. Sheik was brainwashed into being evil, and the two of them went around terrorizing Hyrule. Ganondorf was really depressed about Hylia still being dead, so a reaper was able to take control of his body. It morphed the surrounding region and made it twisted.
Link showed up and saw the world in this really terrible state. Beelza had been killed after defeating the Leo dungeon, so Sheik was the only one left. Sheik told Link that Ganondorf was responsible for everything, even though it was actually her. Link believed her, and went to go stop Ganondorf.
Now, any real hero would have fused with a bird to gain the power to fly, gotten Ganondorf out of his depression, and then defeated the reaper. However, Link wasn't a very good hero, so instead he killed Ganondorf. Then the reaper revealed his true form, because he didn't have a depressed person's body to hide in anymore, and Link killed him pretty easily. Because the reaper was actually weaker than a piece of grass and was only able to take control of Ganondorf because Ganondorf was too depressed to notice.
At this point the timeline split into three different pieces. One where Link kept being an adult, one where he went back to being a kid, and one where he was too lazy to kill Ganondorf/The Reaper and wanted to spend his time playing really boring campy video games that came after awesome games with wavedashing in them. In this timeline, Beelza didn't die, and her and Sheik recruited Groose, and imprisoned Ganondorf.
For the next few forevers, some brave heroes tried to revive Ganondorf. However, because the winners always write history, everyone thought Ganon was bad, even though he was only going to try to make the world better for everyone. Eventually, Ganondorf was revived. In order to make people not attack him, he used Magic to disguise himself as Link. He then finished a dungeon, and was offered a Red Suit or a Blue Suit. He chose the Red Suit.

I'll MM anyone who can name every non-Zelda reference in that story. By my count there are 9, but I could be missing a few, because there are a lot in there.

 

[Fortress | Sveet]

In OoT it is clearly said that ganondorf was born. All other ganon instances are irrelevant

 

[Эикельманн [РУС]]

To be "born" is to be brought forth by or as if by birth. It was never stated HOW he was born up until just recently.

 

[Fortress | Sveet]

I will have to replay OoT, but i think it says a man is born to the gerudo tribe every 100 years and ganondorf was that man this time. The evilness is just manifested and essentially using him as its host. He was born mortal

 

[Эикельманн [РУС]]

I think comparing him to Anakin Skywalker's conception is the best example; there was no father, so clearly Demise came into the picture around that point.

Don't get me wrong, either. I'm not saying he wasn't born, just not in the generic sense of the word.

 

[RaphaelRobo]

In order to come to a decision, we should all get together on Skype this Sunday and play through OoT.

It'd be fun to play through OoT as a group. Plus, I've never finished the game before. I got bored in Ganon's castle on my first playthrough, and I've never been back to finish it.

 

[PseudoTurtle]

Id like to agree with g. Vice on the matter. Seeing ganon as a total stud just makes sense! thats why he's so evil: too much testosterone.

 

[Эикельманн [РУС]]

i played through oot a few days ago in anticipation of finally being able to play skyward sword on friday. cannot wait.

 

[RaphaelRobo]

If you haven't played through SS yet, how do you know about the whole Demise stuff?

 

[Эикельманн [РУС]]

I read a lot. Duh. ;]

 

[RaphaelRobo]

If you read enough to know the story, then why are you excited to play SS? It wasn't that good. It's possible the only reason I feel that way is because I hated the controls, though.

 

[Эикельманн [РУС]]

because i love flying.

i haven't read much, though. just stuff pertaining to ganondorf.

 

[Fortress | Sveet]

I actually enjoyed the controls in skyward sword, at least compared to twilight princess. Havent finished it yet, though...

 

[Эикельманн [РУС]]

i think i've enjoyed every zelda game with the exception of the first two and wand of gamelon.

 

[RaphaelRobo]

I never played Twilight Princess.

I've enjoyed every Zelda game I've played. I've also finished all of the ones I've played, with the exception of OoT. I got bored in Ganon's castle and never went back to finish it.

 

[-ACE-]

I have only played the original Zelda for NES. not bad of a game.

 

[Эикельманн [РУС]]

i would have loved the original zelda if it were longer. =[

 

[Jeyfar]

Lol SS controls are so horridly bad I consider it the worst Zelda just because of that, also add the fact that the game seems designed for baby children because of the overly simple puzzles. Twilight Princess was good but it really wasn't that striking. OoT was awesome but for me the best one is Majora's Mask hands down. I really enjoyed all the other Zelda's a lot too as well (original, 2, to the past, oracle of seasons and ages, DX awakening, Minish Cap, Wind Waker etc).

 

[Эикельманн [РУС]]

holy mother****in ****

puerto rican ganondorf?

you need to come to florida for melee, dude.

 

[Jeyfar]

holy mother****in ****

puerto rican ganondorf?

you need to come to florida for melee, dude.

I know FML T_T but I need to get better in academics and be like 3 years older cuze I'm 18, though I get 19 this year. I really want to go to US and play Smash but Until I'm 21 and have a good excuse to GTFO the island I can't go out. But it won't be impposible though. Also I have a pretty good Ganon but I really can't find sparring partners anywhere, so I'm pretty much stuck at my skill level ):

 

[Эикельманн [РУС]]

guess i'm coming to pr sometime lol

a link main from here came down there once. said it was pretty tight.

how often you guys got tournies? shoot me some vids of your ganon.

 

[Jeyfar]

guess i'm coming to pr sometime lol

a link main from here came down there once. said it was pretty tight.

how often you guys got tournies? shoot me some vids of your ganon.

): I only have a fraction of a vid of myself online, but I'll gladly upload more vids of me next week annnnd the link died, hmm i gtg for now but ill be back later

EDIT: I found the crappy video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IfFi6bebJ4&feature=youtu.be

 

[Fortress | Sveet]

I have to agree about majora's mask! Such a great game!

I really enjoyed the controls in SS... flying is really smooth and i like that swinging your sword is based on how you move the wiimote not just flailing. The only bad thing is that it is practically impossible to die in the game. Hearts are everywhere, not to mention just sitting on a stool gives them back to you. The enemies are really forgiving too.

I think the 2D ones were the best in terms of puzzles and difficulty. I loved link's awakening even though it was the least connected to the storyline.

 

[Эикельманн [РУС]]

it was totally connected to the story line. how do you think he crashed his ship? :o

 

[Fortress | Sveet]

He was just ****ing high or something the whole time