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How Soccer is Killing America

Witchking_of_Angmar

Smash Lord
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Slowly starting to enjoy my mothertongue again. :)
Soccer is a decent sport, but it is outclassed by it's peers. Basketball allows more creativity, football is a better test of strength, track is a better test of endurance, golf is a better test of nerves, and volleyball places more emphasis on the team aspect. What does soccer excel at? Nothing really.
Football is not only amazingly technical (almost on par with basketball for sure), it's also incredibly strategic, and not in a you-have-to-get-these-plays-down-by-heart way, but in a you-have-to-be-able-to-out think-your-opponent-on-the-spot way. Also, I heartily disagree with your last statement. Simply by requiring you to interact and work together with 10 other team members as opposed to 5 is already a strong argument, but in football it's next to impossible to achieve anything alone. Even the technical skill is generally used to allow better team positioning, not go on a one man trip towards goal. Of course this happens, and if it actually works it's a testament to the player's skill, but these instances are rare.
 

KevinM

TB12 TB12 TB12
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Sickboi in the 401
Most of the people saying Soccer is outclassed by it's peer sports probably don't understand the fundamentals of the game at levels beyond recreational or high school soccer.
 

IrArby

Smash Ace
Joined
Nov 18, 2007
Messages
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Portsmouth VA
**** that ****! Basketball is about size more than anything. Its really not that great of a ****ing game and the same **** happens constantly for the whole game. Seriously, they've had to introduce all sorts of rules and incentives to make the game even playable for people who aren't 7'2" like that one rule about how long you can stand in the key, the 3 point line, imposing a shot clock so teams can't possess all day long (a great tactic that doesn't have any counter actions otherwise), don't those stipulations ring any bells? Plus about 80% of the fouls in basketball are faked. They are flops.

As far as basketball being more creative thats total bull****. Possession in basketball is so ****ing broken. How many people get the ball stolen from them while they're holding it. It takes no skill to stand there and hold it. Soccer/Football you've 10 people to pass to, more space, can get the ball forcefully taken from you at anytime, etc I could go on. The pick and roll is like the most complicated thing in basketball. Can you honestly look at most basketball players and tell me these guys are intelligent?

Your options in basketball are try to get open to shoot at a distance, drive and shoot, or drive and pass to someone to shoot at a distance. The way you score is so limited and scoring itself happens all the time so theres no real build up. To reduce soccer to basketball you'd have to make the field much smaller(easier), take away over half of the players including a keeper, make the goal tiny, not allow people to try and take the ball off of you while your holding it (just irritatingly stand in front of you, you can only really intercept the ball during passes, limit the time of possession, and only try and block the ball during a shot.

American Football? Again, nearly all physical. Speed, Strength, and . . . catching ability? You can get all the guys on your team hyped up, go out, and hit someone and you'd do pretty well. Soccer requires way more deliberate thought. The game moves freely, constantly, and focuses on the controling the ball in a much more difficult fashion. By using only your feet you force people to be creative and inventive. Yea its fun to see people get the **** knocked out of them but that doesn't happen often anyway and it stops right there. Rugby has all of that (minus throwing) and more plus no pads and more. Sorry it couldn't be reduced into a stupider more consumable form but . . . anyway youtube Rugby hits and you'll be impressed.

*Track certainly doesn't outclass Soccer as those people run for 90 mins not 9.1 secs or a mile. Again, its all in the strength training not in a clash of tactics, skill (running fast is not a skill but nonetheless important) endurance, strategy, etc. Americans almost never make it into the Premiership (the English league) largely aside from not having the skill, they can't keep up with the pace of the English game or the European game for that matter.
*Golf is hard on your nerves but theres no one bearing down on you when you take that putt is there? The fact that your competing against someone directly (not his shot versus yours) adds a whole other dynamic. The ultimate goal (the Goal versus a tiny undefended cup) in soccer is huge and any number of ways of scoring will get the point. The soccer goal has so much of a dynamic to it that a seperate person is alloted to defend it.
*Volleyball has a simple objective (as does soccer) but its acheived in a much narrower way having limits on the time of possession or more specifically the number of touches. The goal is usually to set up for a spike which you might choose to feint. Thats about it. You certainly can't take the ball away from the other team while they're possessing it anyway.

So yea not saying that these or other sports are easy but they really are much much much more narrow concerning what constitutes a good player. The fact that it happens all over the field all the time with more people in tight spaces and open ones offers a depth none of those sports could ever achieve. I can understand that people don't enjoy watching it as much since it takes more know-how to even understand whats going on. But, soccer has way more depth.

Oh yea as far creativity goes Exhibit A: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RyyhNG7Q8vQ
Exhibit B: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3S-mOvN2Xs&feature=related (most of these people are kids or non-professionals
Exhibit C: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Jd2nGBwIWs&feature=related (this ****s all over those older Nike Basketball vids and its old. Theirs really no equivalent in any of those other sports since Soccer just way more expressive than those sports.)

Comparing Soccer to those other sports is like comparing Melee to Brawl.
SUPER POST!!!
 

IrArby

Smash Ace
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Portsmouth VA
Its all true and verifiable stuff. But I'm really glad you appreciated it.

I'm kinda sick of basketball atm if you couldn't tell.
 

GetInTheSoup!

Smash Rookie
Joined
Jan 3, 2009
Messages
13
Though I can appreciate the flow of conversation, and am in agreement with those who think soccer is one of the best sports ever, I just wanna bring it back to the original topic.

I really believe the entire thing is a satire. Being a professor of religion and philosophy, I'm sure he understands that religion plays a big part in American society, and also that religion could amount to nothing more than mythos. I think he creates the image of the stereotypical, lower-middle class, conservative, overall ignorant American very well; at least believably enough for some of you guys to believe it, and groan over his idiocy. America doesn't treat its citizens like that, they can tell you all the nice things you want to hear, but they don't give everyone connections to be successful in later life. America claps/laughs either with you or at you, and its up to you to recognize that, and do something to ensure your own personal happiness.

I digress: the professor makes naturally contradictory arguments, as, even scientifically, a soccer player tends to exert more of himself/herself than a baseball player. Involving God and aposable thumbs to his argument is just silly; Soccer has nothing to do with God, and very little to do with hands at all (other than throwing the ball, or the Goalie, who gets balls kicked at him with greater velocities than baseballs are thrown, and is supposed to get in front of the ball), that's one of its main niches! That makes it fun in a large sense!

Essentially, the idea of the argument is absurd and a form of escapism/scapegoating to the author; how can you blame a country's decline on a sport? Especially when all the other ones are for the same purpose: different forms of amusement and great marketable businesses. Its like the fighting game/ competitive platforming genre; you've got your baseball, maybe a street fighter, you've got your guilty gears like basketball, and so on, its just about taste, using arbitrary arguments to make one seem worse than the other is a joke.

Finally, he proves his love for soccer, and aims to ensure that his audience understands that it is a satire, remarking that soccer brings a family together, which is the cornerstone of any society, and most important for the growth of a nation and its children.

I think anyway.
 

IrArby

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Maybe it is a satire peice but if so, it was poorly done.
For one he says "For those who think I jest". Not saying that makes it a real piece but it would imply so.

Two, he is putting this up on a serious website not just randomly on a chat forum and he's backing it up with his reputation.

Three, the qualifications he gives for his reasons are very thorough which although ultimately being wrong, lend genuiness (at least to his intentions/sentiments) to the whole piece.

Lastly, if it is satire, meaning it needs to be humerous also, the actual latent point of his argument is vastly underplayed.
 

Mith_

Smash Champion
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Jul 30, 2008
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Augusta, GA
I just left a soccer game. It was amazing. I got to be the announcer and play my techno music that all the kids hated because rap music is the only good music. :mad:

Soccer is the best sport ever.
 

Dogysamich

The Designated Hype Man!
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So, I always thought it was one of the dumbest ideas ever when they brought Beckham to USA to have him play for the LA Galaxy and "bring an interest to soccer in America", because I know that Beckham is a frickin set-piece player and that's the kinda stuff USA doesnt care about. (All this has probably been said).

Then I woke up this morning.

Happened to flip on sportcenter cause my plans for today got ruined, and lo-and-behold, NOW THEY'RE BRINGING MARTA OVER TO PLAY IN THE NEW WOMEN'S LEAGUE. Granted that women's soccer over here has been, oh-I-dunno...., successful, and granted Marta actually is entertaining to watch, I still think this is yet another cheap trick to try to get Americans to care about a sport that, as a whole, we dont care about. (Dont get me wrong, I love soccer, but I'm not going to sit here and say America loves it. I know better.)

What do you guys think of Marta coming over to USA to play soccer in the women's league?

(For anybody who happens to not know her, she's considered the best female player in the world. She's going to be playing for -laughs- the LA Soul. So both "big name soccer superstars" are going to be playing in LA.... *rolls eyes*)
 

JesiahTEG

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Rochester, NY
I agree with a lot of his points, but wow @ him dissing soccer but glorifying baseball. Baseball is hands down, the most boring sport to watch, and the EASIEST to play. I rather watch golf.
 

teeman92

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Pensacola, FL. That place that Tristen de Luna fou
I agree with a lot of his points, but wow @ him dissing soccer but glorifying baseball. Baseball is hands down, the most boring sport to watch, and the EASIEST to play. I rather watch golf.

i remeber the time i watched the new orleans zephers game when i was 12, it was kinda boring and entertaing, because ive never saw a NLB game before.

the most entertaing sport to me is football, i LOVE slaming other with full speed and never getting hurt (that bad). it just so satisfying watching my mates scoring a touchdown and our fight song plays
 

pokesmashfighter

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Joined
Mar 17, 2009
Messages
60
Nobody has posted a facepalm picture yet? Let me be the first.


If he is an american, let me say something to him.
"Our football > Your football"

I know this has been said before, but he said football was boring and then glorified baseball?

Rule 4 = Sexism.
 

teeman92

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Joined
Apr 28, 2007
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Pensacola, FL. That place that Tristen de Luna fou
Nobody has posted a facepalm picture yet? Let me be the first.


If he is an american, let me say something to him.
"Our football > Your football"

I know this has been said before, but he said football was boring and then glorified baseball?

Rule 4 = Sexism.
aww you dont have to be like that. soccer pretty fun to play. just no contact in it
 

SSBMaaron

Smash Cadet
Joined
Mar 15, 2009
Messages
59
ths usa is like the only country in the world that doesnt like soccer, i think they could be really good if more ppl get interested in it.
 

IrArby

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Portsmouth VA
The thing is, as much as people talk about the over focus on sports here, in say England they have school institutions that have top level youth coaches and good young players go there based on the quality of their football(American Soccer) programs. Thats why they consistently turn out awesome players. They start that kinda of serious training that were only now starting to do narrowly in highschool and more broadly in college, they do it at around a middle school age.

Most people in the U.S. haven't accumulated the same knowledge to a widespread degree like in Europe either. But yea European Football owns the **** out of almost any sport out there and some it just beats out overall. I know thats what alot of people would call opinion but that claim is backed by a lot of facts so I feel pretty justified saying it.
 

GetInTheSoup!

Smash Rookie
Joined
Jan 3, 2009
Messages
13
It took me a while to reply

Maybe it is a satire peice but if so, it was poorly done.
For one he says "For those who think I jest". Not saying that makes it a real piece but it would imply so.

Two, he is putting this up on a serious website not just randomly on a chat forum and he's backing it up with his reputation.

Three, the qualifications he gives for his reasons are very thorough which although ultimately being wrong, lend genuiness (at least to his intentions/sentiments) to the whole piece.

Lastly, if it is satire, meaning it needs to be humerous also, the actual latent point of his argument is vastly underplayed.

I think his seriousness is just the point. If he didn't seem serious, it wouldn't be satirical, and if you don't have rep, who's going to know you and understand that you're joking? Wouldn't they then assume that you're being serious? Furthermore if the argument wasn't thorough it wouldn't be believable, thus less entertaining; you can't half-*** something and hope it works out (other than a lot of homework assignments). His humor is interesting and sometimes indirect which makes the satire a little weak, admittedly its not exactly a modest proposal, but I think its good.

Also I think soccer rocks, and that LA is going to be far too good! But we can only wait and see.
 

IrArby

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But the point of the argument isn't to legitimately be serious and thus to convince you. You would want to point out that its bad as a result of faulty American Logic not faulty Academic Logic. If its a satirical piece on Americans, it would differientiate between American thinking and Logical Academic thinking since American reasoning is meant to look stupid in comparison. Make sense? He doesn't make American thinking look stupid but in fact he legitimizes it rather than pokes holes in it. If he were trying to satire something he would come across as serious but ultimately, we should see the flaws in his thinking quite obviously or it would look ambigous, as if he really believes what he's saying.

Now, you could make a case for this guy satiring academic pieces that like to over-analyze things and overplay thier relevance and in turn look smart for complicating something wholly uncomplicated. Thats different though and I could make a similar case for why that doesn't seem to be the case either. For one, he would put that peice in an academic journal or newspaper or something to demonstrate the obsurdity of over-analyzing crap. Still, it would be to ambigous if that were his aims.
 
D

Deleted member

Guest
It's gonna be pretty tough for soccer to become big here. Soccer is usually a low scoring affair, and sports that have little action have not usually fared well with impatient Americans. Hockey, curling, and golf are prime examples of such things. American football is just too big to be reckoned with over here. American football regularly draws 100,000+ to half a dozen stadiums weekly during the season. It might take quite awhile for soccer to catch on here.
 

IrArby

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Portsmouth VA
Soccer has so many people who play it starting at a young age though (even if they don't often know what there doing really). Its an alternative to both Football and Basketball which parents are finding undesirable sports for their children to play for various reasons like Football being too violent/dangerous or Basketball being to height oriented, things like that you know.

As more kids stick with it, its becoming more serious but I still think most MLS players don't make more than 55,000-65,000 dollars annually on average. Don't quote more anything though.

Plus, theres not much basis for Hockey since it requires so much from parents money-wise buying all the gear and what not plus it has the same Football stigma with the violence. Parents really aren't interested in dishing out a couple hundred dollars for a sport their kids gonna quit after 2 seasons. Golf also lacks a fan basis in kids or in most adults, has the same money stipulations, is really difficult to start out on, and its really something of a bougouis (how the hell do you actually spell that word boosh whaa) sport. I won't start on curling thats a terrible sport as far as depth, action, suspense, whatevermightmakeasportappealing, etc.

No, I don't think the lack of scoring or action is a problem since Baseball fairs so well, obviously the sport with the most downtime. Theres no lack of action just a lack of understanding surronding what the intent behind the actions are. Theres purpose in every pass, every move, everything. Its just less clear what those intents are to the untrained eye.
I do think that the dynamics of Soccer will stop it from overtaking Football or Basketball since those sports are really grounded in easy to grasp, user friendly concepts. In essentials, any idiot can watch those two sports and know when to cheer. Baseball has more complexity to it but its still easy to get the gist of it. You have to know Soccer to enjoy watching it.

Football/Basketball like most of the world actually, is run not by the smartest people but by people with a firm grasp of the defining basic concepts and an ability to execute. As I've said before, that skillset or those abilities are really limited in most sports. Just look at Bowling: is there really any need for strategy/tactics in that game? So, I attribute alot of popular sports to having narrow skill sets for narrow minds.
 
D

Deleted member

Guest
That's exactly why soccer will eventually become moderatly popular here, taking over the spot behind American football and basketball.

Reasons:
1. Cheap to play, all you need is a goal, ball, and shin guards.
2. Illegal immigrant Mexicans are playing the sport.
3. Many young kids are playing, sparking interest at older ages.
 

IrArby

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@godsmith2: I was reading the other soccer thread and just wanted to add that I agree with you. I don't support a particular team but enjoy watching the sport.

I think its better to have favorite players honestly. People who support bad teams say to me that they are people willing to enjoy their team play over watching the sport being played since other better teams are going to be much more interested to watch. Thus, I'll end up watching a Liverpool game over a Bolton match anyday.
 
D

Deleted member

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I'm not politically correct. I try to be blunt with word usage. Such as "waste disposal engineers" are garbage men "mentally handicapped" are ********.
 

Skrah

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Cantinero, deme mas cermesaa!
Yeah but I'm assuming that you think that mexican immigrants are all illegal, and that they didn't get their citizenship by legal ways, and that's just plain ignorance.

And I doubt that that is a big reason as to why soccer is becoming more popular in the USA,
 

MojoMan

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Brooklyn
God this guy is a ****ing moron. I mean really. Apparently, the only reason he doesn't like the posrt is because
#1 There aren't 200 pound bowling into each other causing potentially broken bones and probably brain damage. i think this guys doesn't know the difference between sissy and civilized. And he's pretty much wrong on the account of the "bloodlust' factor for girls. It's mainly because grls are generally smaller than men, and therefore tackling is less appealing. All the extremely overweight girls in my school don't have a problem tackling guys.

#2 You have to use your feet, presenting an actual challenge for the average person. Clearly he only likes sports with mindless violence and being able to smack things with wooden sticks ( not that i don't like baseball. I don't love it but I don't mind it. Is he a phrat boy or a college professor?

and btw, why is a football called a ball? Aren't things called balls usually round, not egg-shaped? I mean, what else do you call a ball that isn't circular?
 
D

Deleted member

Guest
God this guy is a ****ing moron. I mean really. Apparently, the only reason he doesn't like the posrt is because
#1 There aren't 200 pound bowling into each other causing potentially broken bones and probably brain damage. i think this guys doesn't know the difference between sissy and civilized. And he's pretty much wrong on the account of the "bloodlust' factor for girls. It's mainly because grls are generally smaller than men, and therefore tackling is less appealing. All the extremely overweight girls in my school don't have a problem tackling guys.

#2 You have to use your feet, presenting an actual challenge for the average person. Clearly he only likes sports with mindless violence and being able to smack things with wooden sticks ( not that i don't like baseball. I don't love it but I don't mind it. Is he a phrat boy or a college professor?

and btw, why is a football called a ball? Aren't things called balls usually round, not egg-shaped? I mean, what else do you call a ball that isn't circular?

The OP is the crazy anti-soccer, and this is the other end of the spectrum.
 
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