Alright the secret is out.
First off I would like to apologize for keeping the relationship a secret, and even lying to some of those who didn’t know about the situation. The reasons that I hid it was because I was afraid of people judging me for my decisions, and I was also ashamed of myself. I also did not want my family, and friends (especially the religious ones) to somehow catch wind of what was happening. The religious people for obvious reasons, and that includes my family. My mom and uncle did find out at some point and it was quite an event, but what’s done is done. Anyways, again I apologize to those who didn’t know about this.
I also don’t understand if david has ulterior motives, like trying to threaten me with his write up or something. It doesn’t look like that, but with the variable moods, I can’t tell.
From the beginning, the relationship started because david threatened to kill himself because he liked me and I didn’t. Saying things such as “I want to put a plastic bag over my head and never let go”, and other creepy things. I was 17 at the time and felt that if he had committed suicide that it would be my fault, and felt guilty if that were to actually happen. So I ended up getting into a relationship.
We were on and off for a few years, we of course argued, but actually a lot less than most relationships. I honestly do not know where he is getting that I stuck him six times. It was debatably twice (one being this june and the whole reason this whole thing was brought up). The other time was in 2010, where I threw him onto his bed and was over when I was angry, but he apparently mistook that for choking him. It was really late at night at the time, so I did not yell at him. Though that time he said that he was going to scream for his dad to help (how would he propose the idea to scream for help if I were choking him? Does that make sense?). I did read some of his convos on AIM/Facebook/MSN because he would leave his windows open, and I came by chance a few times on his computer. He told people various stories about that situation, like how “I slammed him into a wall”, how “I Choked him”, and there were some other outrageous ones. He never did use my name in those convos though at the time.
The recent time I hit him, he invited me over to practice smash before IMPULSE 2 (the relationship was long done at this point mind you). He thought that I was insulting his fox, which was not at all my intention (we were not even arguing, and the mood was calm at this time), so he went into his regular ***** mode (and he has been more and more emotionally unstable due to drug abuse, and semi-recently breaking up with his BF, so he tends to take it out on me, which some people have actually noticed this), and he kicked me out of his house, said that he wasn’t going to IMPULSE 2 anymore, and that he was going to send all the players that he was supposed to house to my house (in an obnoxious way. You know like when you make a woman angry by saying something that they don’t like to hear?), like Michigan, Toph, etc. He was only saying this because he knew that I couldn’t house on Friday, basically trying to get on my nerves. I then pushed him over his chair while choking him. Afterwards, I was about to leave, but then realized that I had left some of my stuff there and wanted it back, but he just kept saying to leave. That is when I threw him down onto the ground and punched him in the stomach. The only reason his neighbor knew about the domestic abuse was because I passed her by when I left, and she knows me, so she was just greeting me. Then I told her that I hit david. It was not because she heard about it. Though that doesn’t matter at this point. Just a minor detail.
I send him a text that day saying to let me know if he has time to talk. Basically attempting to patch things up, but he ignored it. So then David did not attend IMPULSE 2 because this happened roughly half a week before the event. He was at the venue on the first day, but then left shortly after he saw me. I didn’t even intend or attempt to talk to him, but as I was walking by him and another smasher in the outer hallway he said “not talking to you” (in an obnoxious way).
A couple months after, david dropped by at the monthlies that I hosted, and the semi-weekly casuals, where I gave him space. If we talked it was because he talked to me, or would butt in during my conversation, usually if it were smash (fox)-related. I did not initiate the conversations. He would ask nice towards me sometimes out of the blue, but then pull a 180 out of the blue as well at any given time. At first I thought that maybe he wanted to patch things up as well.
We then both entered Starfurry and at this he would start a conversation with me randomly and I took it as an invite to talk. He even asked me about how my life/work was going. We then had to play in Round 2 winners, where I won the set, but there were no hard feelings at all. He even asked me to play some friendlies with him after the set. We were talking and catching up, and of course I apologized for what happened. He apologized as well, but said that it was not the right time/place to talk about it because he didn’t want to get the community involved. He also was supposed to be leaving for BC the next day and said that he will decide whether we will be friends or not when he gets back, because he didn’t want to think about it over the trip and would give me a call. So we put it off. When he came back, then I guess he forgot that he was supposed to decide, and he called me, expecting me to say something. I responded to his questions in a way he didn’t like, but I didn’t notice until later; basically he asked “how are you?” and I said “I’m good. I streamed a playthrough of Mega Man X3 the previous day at A&C, and I’m a bit tired”. Then the topic shifted to his problems over the trip and he got sick. We were talking and then things got weird; he sounded mad in the tone of his voice and said that he was going to go lay down. So I anticipated that he would be mad on the next call.
Of course when he calls he is mad about me “changing to topic to Mega Man” instead of addressing the problem, and how I didn’t want to talk about it. I told him that he said that he would come to a decision and that we would discuss it when he came back. He then said something that made absolutely no sense, and so I asked “ok, then would you like to talk about it now?” He then entered ***** mode again and said “no, you should call me if you want to talk about it”. So I told him that I would call the next day and we agreed on a specific time. I called 3 times, no answer. I then tried my best to get things addressed before STYC4, because I found out that he was going, which was almost a total of 2 weeks calling, and getting no answer.
So then STYC4 happened, and I once again didn’t talk to david when I saw him at the venue, but then at some points he started to once again initiate conversation with me, or butt in on conversations usually smash-related. So once again I got into a comfort level where I felt that he probably wasn’t angry, but then we had to face in doubles Winners semis. After Vwins and I won, he was instantly mad at me, and also didn’t shake my hand. But then not even 20 mins later, he was fine again and started talking to me randomly.
Then when day 2 rolled around, david was once again fine and was talking to me. When we decided to go get food, he went to a different place than me and the others and didn’t meet back up with us. When we went back, things were fine, we were talking, though I was mostly just responding since I was doing commentary on the stream/recording (though most of the footage was lost). When we reached winners finals, I had to play him and I barely won the set. He then again didn’t shake my hand and was mad at me the rest of the day. He made if back to GFs, and he won the first set, I won the second (thought I did controller john quite a bit at the end of the first set [because I bought a controller from the venue and it actually doesn’t work properly]), and I heard him mention it to people after he lost.
This next part is where david claims that I am manipulating people into doing what I want and is pretty much majority of the reason of his write-up about me. He claims that I “forced” my way into windrose’s car. I don’t know what windrose told him after I got dropped off, but from what david is making it sound like, he tried to refuse me getting into the car and that he knew about the whole situation. The reason that I could not have forced myself in is because I didn’t know that he told windrose about what happened between us. He didn’t really try to dissuade me to coming with. I was with Austin and windrose the previous night proposed that Austin ride back with them so that he could split driving. I also asked him if I could get a ride and he said that he didn’t know because of additional gas cost, and so I offered to chip in for gas, then Austin also offered to chip in. Windrose accepted. It was actually that simple. I just wanted to ride so that I wouldn’t have to wait 8 hours to go home, and that would also mean that I could get home in time to sleep and then book a work shift in the morning. But then I overslept anyway.
When we got out of the venue and in the parking lot, I saw david go behind a wall and make an angry gesture when he realized that I was coming with. We rode back, it was mostly pretty good.
David then called me the next day and said “do you think that we’re okay? Do you think that you’re in the right about this?” Then he asked what my intentions were for riding with windrose, because he thinks that I got in the car simply to try and spite him. He wasn’t involved my intentions for getting a ride at all. There were 2 car spots open, and I wanted to get home sooner.
A few weeks after STYC4, when I attempted to try to patch things up, he said that I have yelled at him multiple times, even once in front of a witness, aside from the recent time where I actually did punch him. I think he is now changing each of those scenarios into “I struck him”, though it is untrue. I have also very recently found out that there was some untrue rumors being spread around, one being that I chased david around his house with a knife. That definitely never happened. There was also a rumor that I chased windrose around david’s house because he kept saying ****** to me. Also untrue.
David wanted me to get help because I got angry at him multiple times, and I guess thinks that I have actually hit him more than the debatably two times that I have mentioned. He also mentioned that I lost my first job because I yelled at a slacker co-worker. Though In reality I was going to quit that job. My current job I have had for a bit over a year and why? Because I somewhat enjoy it. He also mentioned the inui thing. Which story remains the same on my side. I see than inui has been posting more than one story, but whatever. That’s not what this write-up is about.
Anyways, he thinks that I am miserable and don’t enjoy my life, and thinks that I would be happy if I were to get help. I told him that I enjoy my life and am very happy in general. I know why I got mad at those times, and I have learned that I reacted wrong on the physical violence. He thinks that I am not taking the situation seriously and that I don’t understand the gravity of it all. Because I am not miserable and not wallowing in self-pity, means that I am not taking it seriously to him. I could get “help” that isn’t going to help. But rather than beat myself up about this, I can instead move on and learn from my mistakes. I can’t turn back time, and what’s done is done.
The knife situation with the witness over a year ago, david picked up a knife when I was yelling at him. I did not hit him that day at all. I would have done something to defend myself if the situation did escalate further though.
Anyways, the reason why that me “forcing myself” into windrose’s car makes no sense on a chronological standpoint: David in his write-up said “ I have made it perfectly clear to Ryan in our last communication that we have no friendship any longer but that I do not want to unnecessarily strain the community. I also informed him that I did not want to compromise the professional integrity of the tournament environment by evicting him (through a restraining order) provided he understood that in exchange I wanted a certain distance respected. But he has been disregarding this and using the secrecy of the subject to accomplish this. This stops now.” Our last contact was just short of 2 weeks after STYC4 when he said that he wanted me to leave him alone. I then tried to calm him down and he refused to do so. Then afterwards I simply asked for my stuff back (since he was going to the monthly I was hosting to see the Quebec guys and earlier that week said that he would bring it on that day) that I still haven’t gotten, and he said “come get it yourself” then hung up. I have only tried to contact him lately just to get my things back. Nothing more.
A little more in depth about how David claims that I am manipulating people into doing what I want. That is also untrue. People locally in the scene for some reason see me as a figurehead for Toronto smash. I never once labeled myself like that, and ever abused people’s way of thinking. Many times I have either been asked to do something for the community (like find them housing, plan rides to tourneys, set up tvs at the venue during casual days, ask the A&C employees for stuff, including setups, etc), and when I ask “why me”, people say things like “because you’re the leader of the scene”, or “you’re the figurehead of the scene”. I know that people think of me like that because I run the monthly tournaments, but I have never once claimed myself to be more than a smasher and a tournament host.
Anyways, since David thinks that I was trying to hide this situation, though he didn’t want people to know. I will direct them to these 2 posts to see if they still want to be my friend or not. I would have rather not have had the events from june-onwards be kept in the dark, but that was only by david’s request that I did.
If I think of more to add, I will, but it’s like 6am now.
