Hello, everyone. I know I said I was going to leave the Geno thread. I have something to say, but before that, here is something else I have to say.
Although it was how the positivity was handled by Geno fans and expressed rather than the positivity itself, I have to admit, I was way over my head, and not thinking clearly. Days before the leaving thing, I was increasingly getting upset about things in the Geno thread, but I knew I could not change anyone, not that I wanted to. I was only concerned, and wanted to help, and feeling helpless, I even cried thinking I could not help. But the key word is thinking, not knowing. It seems many people are not prone to getting throwing a fit over if Geno is in or not, and the same people probably would not be upset if others picked on them if Geno was not in. I understand the Geno thread has been through, and I put an emphasis on, a lot, as you all know. Still, again, I did not want to change anything about you guys, as I was only concerned. I may have seemed a bit immature there, but I meant well.
I may not have handled it well enough, and said things I did not mean, but regardless, what I was trying to say was more complex, or at least deeper than what the text showed on the screen. Speaking of text, I may have been a bit agitated back then, but I was mostly calm, and in fact, I was not resorting to yelling or being mean, or even condescending in my posts. Without voice to back it up, text can only show so much. I was just trying to be polite as possible. With my not wanting anyone to change, including QQS, I meant no harm. I just was upset, and may have forgotten some key things about Geno fans, like some things about QQS and our ability to regulate our emotions, and the Geno thread's history and rough times. Some of you may not have handled what I did and said well, but believe me when I say I won't blame or hold anyone responsible for what happened. That was my fault. I understand why some of you may have been upset at me for what I did. Also, I apparently, or objectively had a hard time trying to say what I was trying to say. Maybe it is because of my lack of communication in the real world, which, in turn, may be because I am autistic.
Anyway, I was hoping I could come back to the Geno thread once more. I am willing to come back, hopefully for good. I am a bit uncertain about the future, as I am not sure it will happen again, and I hope it does not happen, for I really do not want to snap again. If I am coming close, I do plan to talking on friends here before I do so. That said, I do apologize if I upset anyone, or if I unintentionally said things that may not have been interpreted the way I hoped it would be by others, which was nothing intentionally bad. I can promise if you got to know me better, I am not only a better person than you may think, who even hates to be condescending and mean, but I believe in everyone being equal, including myself, I do not, and never want to wish that my way of thinking is superior to anyone else, especially here, but others as well. I could not have that way of thinking if I tried. With that, I was also conflicted on the inside, since I went to the Geno thread and the Newcomer thread, and the difference between each thread and points of views on each other, especially from the Newcomer thread, kinda tore me apart mentally.
Still, I am not sure about believing in the thing called Cacomallow, not because people are positive about it, but I am not sure of its validity. However, I am not going to complain about it, for I am not those who think it is real. I would rather respect things I don't agree with rather than complain. That goes for everything else, including things like being excited for small things that may not be hinting at Geno. Regardless though, whether it is that or Cacomallow, that is something we should just not focus on now and treat it as irrelevant in terms of this post.
I already talked to a mod about this, as well as QQS, and told them the story, and in the case of QQS, I honestly told him he was a good dude. The mod understood, and QQS and I have essentially made up. Also, that thing I admit was rather bad about posting my leaving the Geno thread on the Newcomer Discussion back then, I wasn't trying to be harmful to the Geno thread, not intentionally, not to mention with how I was upset, I forgot about the war between the Geno thread and the Newcomer thread, and how they don't get along.
Some of you may still not like me, and I understand. Still, I hope I can be welcomed back to the Geno thread, as I am sorry for what went down a few days ago. I hope this does not happen again. With that, I just want to talk about Geno again and celebrate should he get in, which I still think is not only likely, but very likely.