Being social, and trying to make, and keep friendships.

[Teran]

I disagree man, I frequent the /adv/ board on 4chan a loooot, and I hardly ever see the behaviour of shutting down and not being open to suggestions. A lot of people really are open to advice, but it's more specifically the type of person like Ruby asking for advice where I see the same behaviour. It's not part of asking advice, it's part of his personality.

As funny as this may sound, I'd say the people who frequent 4chan and would then ask them for advice are a bad example, if only because they're probably more open than the average person.

I mean first of all, they're on 4chan, 2nd of all, they look beyond the insanely vulgar exterior and ask for advice, this takes a certain degree of openness, and while it may not be the prime example of a "good" way to be so, hey, it is what it is.

Also, lasting friendships take effort and patience. If you can't be bothered or do not want to put up with your friends doing silly things then you can't expect much of a close bond.

 

[Rubyiris]

I already said that you are going to have to indulge in things you don't enjoy if you want to build a social life. Stop being a *****, life isn't all about "enjoying things". It takes work to achieve desirable results. Also, taking part in activities can lead to a change of heart about them. Even if not, you've met some new people.

I indulge in things I don't like just to keep a roof over my head, and food on my plate. Excuse me for wanting to do things I enjoy during my free time.

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[Falconv1.0]

I indulge in things I don't like just to keep a roof over my head, and food on my plate. Excuse me for wanting to do things I enjoy during my free time.

Man, good job with the strawman there. Guess his point sailed right the **** over your head.

 

[satowolf]

All work and no play makes jack a dull boy.

 

[Luigitoilet]

I indulge in things I don't like just to keep a roof over my head, and food on my plate. Excuse me for wanting to do things I enjoy during my free time.

Sent from my LG-VM670 using Tapatalk 2

Well then stop crying about how nobody likes you.

 

[Rubyiris]

It's a saying, and it's more abstract. It doesn't mean if you hate yourself you are a psychopathic monster, it means it means that your self doubt and self loathing will constantly bleed into your life in hamper your social progress at every turn.

Want to get a boyfriend, oh **** I'm not going to meet up with this guy because OMG MY HAIR IS SO UGLY. I want to hang out with more people but OMG WHAT IF THEY ALL DISLIKE ME.

You know, you are doing exactly what I predicted though, you're getting defensive and shutting out everything people suggest, which is actually your problem. You need to work this out for yourself, just sit down and have an honest talk with yourself, because you are too self important to listen to anyone else, and that's not really a criticism because that's the case with almost everyone.

It's why I don't think people should really ask for advice, they are not open and not ready.

For me I would go to the date even though I think my hair is ugly. I'm pessimistic, yes, but I always follow through with whatever it is I plan. I go out and try try to meet people despite my social anxieties.

Try again, teran.

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[Teran]

Nice way to strawman yet again.

This is why you're beyond help.

 

[satowolf]

Wait so if you're already trying to make some company, then what's the real problem?

 

[Jim Morrison]

For me I would go to the date even though I think my hair is ugly. I'm pessimistic, yes, but I always follow through with whatever it is I plan. I go out and try try to meet people despite my social anxieties.

Try again, teran.

 

[VietGeek]

okay using english rules didn't work

nee nee rubiiairisu-chan

why don't you just like

thank us and heed our words

you can think we're ****tards

but that way everyone's happy (say that in a loli voice because anime)

believe in us and we'll believe in you

no

believe in us believing in you and you'll believe in yourself

obv

 

[Shorts]

Try again, teran.

0.0 but y tho?

You're just going to dismiss anything Teran says slightly condescendingly.

 

[Teran]

Plus we are the people with strong successful friendships so we obviously know something ...

Right?

Apparently not.

 

[global-wolf]

You're not special... lol. Everyone in this situation thinks they are.

Teran said it best here

You can't love others if you don't love yourself brotherjack.

More on that, if you don't love yourself, don't expect others to love you.

 

[Teran]

No no guys, I'm really wrong about everything and just being a douchebag because like, I don't know anything and I just say stuff to amuse myself while eating pickles and surfing the internet.

 

[VietGeek]

it's 2012

i still can't find the like button on this website

guess we're suppose to personally compliment ppl

obv

 

[Teran]

We used to have a rep system but people abused that.

Besides I think it's good that Smashboards will avoid a "like this if___" culture

 

[Alberto1866]

Talking to people is easy. Making lasting friendships is not.

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So you're looking to make long lasting friendships then, would that be only IRL or anywhere like here?

 

[Pachinkosam]

You guys are getting too soft

**** its the way to go.

 

[satowolf]

I wouldn't mind a little Thumbs up/Thumbs down option. Wait nvm...that will just get people salty. "OMG Who Thumbed Down me D: ! I just made a legit post that's like..so informative! D:< "

 

[Holder of the Heel]

I'm sorry I have unique issues.

Wow, that is one of the most repugnant things I've ever had the displeasure to read, and something that blatantly proves my previous post describing your present state.


And the way you are dismissing people and asking them to try again is perhaps equally unsightly. You are assuming that we care so much that we're going to grovel at your feet with our answers. All the worse when you step on fingers and tell us to keep doing it. Again, just like a bed ridden invalid. You seem perfectly fine to me, so cut the ****.

Most of us have displayed a genuine interest in helping a fellow human, don't take that for granted. You're going to continue to be lonely with that mentality. Even if you are surrounded by people, which would be unlikely at any rate.

 

[global-wolf]

I've never seen Holder post with more than a thoughtfully questioning tone, wow.

 

[Teran]

Or you could learn how to do this and a lot of people will love you.

[yt]zucBfXpCA6s[/yt]

When I get it down I will be infinitely more popular I know it.

 

[VietGeek]

LMAO

but teran you gotta remember we gotta balance hack ruby-chan's persona first

otherwise he'd be buying into the "scumbag musician" stereotype that's been alive since

well...

forever

obv

 

[Rubyiris]

okay using english rules didn't work

nee nee rubiiairisu-chan

why don't you just like

thank us and heed our words

you can think we're ****tards

but that way everyone's happy (say that in a loli voice because anime)

believe in us and we'll believe in you

no

believe in us believing in you and you'll believe in yourself

obv

you are my favorite poster

Sent from my LG-VM670 using Tapatalk 2

 

[satowolf]

I think Ruby likes the attention we are giving him. No seriously I think he does but this is just my humble opinion. The fact that we ARE trying to help him is making him feel better. But at the same time, i'm no expert here, he's probably thinking "It's just the internet." We can "say" things but I guess without any showing of it he's just gonna brush off every helpful tip that we can drill into his head.

I wish I didn't drop piano I love classical music.

 

[Teran]

LMAO

but teran you gotta remember we gotta balance hack ruby-chan's persona first

otherwise he'd be buying into the "scumbag musician" stereotype that's been alive since

well...

forever

obv

You can only be a scumbag if you do pop/rap/rock. Playing classical music instantly makes you refined, elegant, and sensitive no matter what you do. How do you think I got away with my personality as a teenager? You remember what I was like back then.

 

[Rubyiris]

Wow, that is one of the most repugnant things I've ever had the displeasure to read, and something that blatantly proves my previous post describing your present state.


And the way you are dismissing people and asking them to try again is perhaps equally unsightly. You are assuming that we care so much that we're going to grovel at your feet with our answers. All the worse when you step on fingers and tell us to keep doing it. Again, just like a bed ridden invalid. You seem perfectly fine to me, so cut the ****.

Most of us have displayed a genuine interest in helping a fellow human, don't take that for granted. You're going to continue to be lonely with that mentality. Even if you are surrounded by people, which would be unlikely at any rate.

Then maybe people should stop getting so offended when their advice isn't relevant to my specific problems.

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[#HBC | Ryker]

Man, good job with the strawman there. Guess his point sailed right the **** over your head.

Dude, just sit back and enjoy it. Join me in making sidelong comments about how it was called in post two.

 

[Rubyiris]

Except that teran was completely wrong.

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[global-wolf]

Your specific problem is having no friends

People are giving you advice about friendship

Yeah idk what's going on in your head

I'm outta here

 

[Teran]

Saying I'm wrong is really vague 'cos I'm wrong about everything, be more specific.

Also you should capitalise my name, after all, I do.

 

[Falconv1.0]

Teran's almost never completely wrong, and when he is it's when he's drunk and I'm being a huge ***.

Pickles.

 

[satowolf]

"I hate this town... its too filled with memories id rather forget... I go to school everyday, hang out with my friend, and then i go home... There's one place that i'd rather not go again...I wonder if anything will ever change. Will that day ever come?" -- Tomoya

Seriously. Clannad. Give it another chance.

-flies away-

 

[#HBC | Ryker]

No no guys, I'm really wrong about everything and just being a douchebag because like, I don't know anything and I just say stuff to amuse myself while eating pickles and surfing the internet.

Oh my God, this thread is killing me.

Then maybe people should stop getting so offended when their advice isn't relevant to my specific problems.

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Except that teran was completely wrong.

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LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Can you point to one piece of advice in this thread that you've actually accepted? I wouldn't know. I haven't read page two.

 

[VietGeek]

You can only be a scumbag if you do pop/rap/rock. Playing classical music instantly makes you refined, elegant, and sensitive no matter what you do. How do you think I got away with my personality as a teenager? You remember what I was like back then.

Haha I do

but i was a violist once (and yeah i love viola jokes because that instrument is BAD at the non-professional level IMHO)

and the more "musically-inclined" kids definitely had a mean-streak going on

although that may play into the fact that rich, popular (white but not always) kids often join the arts early because they can and are able to afford the best crafted instruments, bow and bow hair, etc.)

I'd say same goes for the woodwinds/brass and not just string instruments

also sitting down with some string players who play professionally, they say one of the more stressful aspects of it is that competition for seat placement gets some people really nasty

but that's just anything related to competition at all, and yeah it's anecdotal evidence so make of that as you will

obv

 

[Holder of the Heel]

I've never seen Holder post with more than a thoughtfully questioning tone, wow.

My apologies. As much as I'd perhaps like to remain so monotone, I understand that trying a different tone might be the way to handle the situation.

Then maybe people should stop getting so offended when their advice isn't relevant to my specific problems.

Never mind, different tone didn't work. Life is going to have to put him at his threshold before he'll change, which makes sense. If he is as I suspect, speaking to him is an unlikely method of fixing the issue at hand. Good luck to you sir.

 

[¯\_S.(ツ).L.I.D._/¯]

K so why don't you just like look at your behavior in this thread and then like not do any of it ever again because it's ****ing annoying and turns people off.

 

[Rubyiris]

Your specific problem is having no friends

People are giving you advice about friendship

Yeah idk what's going on in your head

I'm outta here

The problem isn't approaching people, or being sociable. It's keeping interest, and moving beyond mere acquaintances. Furthermore, what I consider acquaintances, other people might consider friends. The term is subjective.

My problem is more than just "I have no friends"

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[Falconv1.0]

You know, one time I spent the entire day listening to Chopin and Slipknot. Alternating I mean, not at the same time.

Maybe you should try that, Ruby. Also **** ABOUT IT AND BE A MAN AND/OR VERY MANLY WOMAN AND STOP BEING A LITTLE GIRL DAMN IT.

Ehhhhhh I have specific needs, ehhhh 8 inch **** still isn't big enough, ehhhhhh pickles.

 

[Melomaniacal]

Ruby, I think you need to start by realizing that you are not as unique as you think. Your situation, your problems, your personality traits, none of these are unique. You are not special and you are not beyond everyone's advice, and your situation isn't so different that no one can give you reasonable helpful advice. Get over yourself in this regard. If you truly think people are misunderstanding you and your problems, don't be condescending and dismiss them, clarify your situation. When you do **** like this, not only do people not want to help you, people don't want to talk to you. I couldn't imagine that this type of interaction on the internet doesn't bleed into your interactions in real life, because despite what most people will tell you on the internet, you do reflect your personality on some level here.

I feel like you just read what people say, give it absolutely ZERO thought the second you see something you may deem as slightly irrelevant, and completely write it off and miss out on any valuable advice you might have actually gotten. Most of the advice here is helpful for anyone, just as a human being.