Gruntilda’s Lair
from Banjo-Kazooie
Ah, good ol Banjo & Kazooie. Hard to believe how far character possibilities have come since the Brawl days. So many people, myself included, once thought that characters under Microsoft ownership were completely impossible. But now with things like Phil Spencer giving his approval of the idea and Nintendo and Microsoft being a lot more like buddies lately, Banjo & Kazooie seem like a very real (and definitely very hype) possibility.
Will they make it in? Beats the memory of Grunty’s disgusting habits out of me (or so I wish). Joker from Persona 5 of all people was the very first character announced for the fighter pass and the only hint we have as to who the next one might be is still vague enough to allow multiple possibilities. So who’s left is almost as big a mystery as the the originally intended Stop N Swap rewards.
But I’d be all for it if Banjo & Kazooie were in there somewhere. As for a stage they could bring, most people suggest Spiral Mountain but I’ll be honest, I find that idea kind of boring. So I decided to take a crack at what I believe to be a much more interesting stage idea. Gruntilda’s Lair.
And yet despite calling Spiral Mountain boring, lo and behold the starting area of this stage is on top of the mountain right in front of Grunty’s Lair anyway. Oh the irony. In any case, this part of the stage functions as nothing more than being just like the Omega forms of Stages like Willy Castle and Wooly World in Smash Wii U. A flat, final destination layout that you can’t go under.
But it only stays like this for 10 seconds before the eyes on Gruntilda’s Lair glow red and you hear Grunty’s cackle from the original game. Afterwards the screen gets covered in the sparkles that surround Banjo-Kazooie when they stand on a Level exit pad in their source game (don’t worry, fighters are still visible in a Castle Siege style way) as the stage warps into one of four levels from the original Banjo-Kazooie.
These levels are around for 25 seconds instead of Spiral Mountains 10 before changing to a different area. And once the stage leaves Spiral Mountain, it won’t go back to it in the same match.
The first of the four levels the stage will randomly transform into is Treasure Trove Cove.
First of all, size ratio may not be the best. Apologies for that. But how this one works is you can see the island that actually makes up the source game’s Treasure Trove Cove level in the background while you fight on a Battlefield layout made of the boxes you sometimes find in the water. How fitting because instead of a bottomless pit, the main ground of this stage is actually a box floating in the water.
As you can see with Sonic finally deciding to get in some swimming practice. Unfortunately his attempts to defeat his Aquaphobia won’t exactly lead to his preferred results here.
Take too long in the water and Snacker will emerge to bit you 3 times in a row. Not exactly a guaranteed kill, but it’s a very powerful attack so listen to the lifeguard kiddos.
Our next level in line is Bubblegloop Swamp.
This one is also pretty simple in layout. A walk-off inspired from the source levels various arching pathways. However none of it is passable ground. That open space below the left hand side of the arena? You can’t go down there. So for the sake of it not looking too awkward, I say we make some use of it.
Occasionally one of those Golden Crocodiles will emerge from the swampy water and open his mouth. When he does, Yumblies and Grumblies will appear on the ground. Eat the yumblies and you recover a bit of health, eat the grumblies and you’ll take a little bit of damage. Why eat the grumblies at all in that case? Well because they always start out as Yumblies but rot into grumblies if you take too long to get there.
The grumblies will eventually disappear on their own after a bit, and when the crocodile closes his mouth he will sink back into the swamp and stop the process.
The 3rd possible level is Freezeezy Peak.
No basic paint.net drawing this time. I managed to find a screenshot of what I had in mind for a layout. This portion takes place entirely on the Christmas Tree. The base of the tree where Mega Man is is the solid ground while the leaves everyone else is on are passable platforms. Aliasing is once again confusing (sorry about that) so I took the liberty of adding Light Blue Lines to show where all the passable platforms are. Well, roughly. Despite what the image shows here the passable platforms don’t actually go out any wider than the base of the tree.
As for the gimmick of this portion. The Twinklies on the tree will start glowing in a festive fashion that looks kind of like a light show after a bit. Most of the time it’s purely cosmetic, but Twinkly munchers can sometimes show up to get glass in their gums. And their bites can hurt you to but they’re nowhere near as powerful as Snackers.
The 4th and final possible level is Rusty Bucket Bay.
This one as you can see mostly takes place on the bow of the ship. Though there is an elevated area where Simon currently resides that functions as a walk-off. In the background you can see the ships crane turned to the side. Occasionally it will pick up a box to bring into the the part of the stage roughly above Mega Man to serve as another hard platform. But it won’t drop the box onto the stage. It will just bring it in and take it away after a bit. But it enters and exits the stage entirely via the background, so no need to worry about it carrying you to the top blast zone.
And that covers everything about actually having a match on this stage. But we’ve got one more thing to go over. People often talk about Fire Emblem Support Conversations or Xenoblade Heart to Hearts for what the next Codec Call like thing could be. But I once heard the idea of Gruntilda’s Rhymes as another option for this. So yeah why not? Let’s incorporate them into this stage idea.
I don’t actually have the talent to come up with any on my own, so here are some of my favorite I’ve seen from other people that could go off once Banjo & Kazooie input the right taunt command.
Duck Hunt:
Oh, no, no , NO! This must be a bad dream! This game was bad enough with ONE bird-mammal team!
DK:
You're smelly and ugly and covered in flies, do all apes have such bad taste in ties?
Greninja:
You're slimy and gross, but I've got a hunch, that Gruntilda will be having frog legs for lunch!
Bayonetta:
You call yourself a witch when so pretty and fair? Come take a look at old Grunty's body hair!
Wario:
You smell repulsive, let me tell you honey. You even give me a run for my money!
K. Rool:
Now here's a character in which I actually care, seeing you nowadays is rather Rare.
Possible DLC Character this stage could come with:
Banjo & Kazooie
DLC Music this stage could bring:
Spiral Mountain:
https://youtu.be/pPUn5biib1c
Treasure Trove Cove:
https://youtu.be/3nxFYoGNJKc
Bubblegloop Swamp:
https://youtu.be/T9m26h0_Jxo
Freezeezy Peak:
https://youtu.be/bKv9WeS8BOs
Rusty Bucket Bay:
https://youtu.be/PByIP2MLWP0
Mad Monster Mansion:
https://youtu.be/f9cG9bjYfjQ
Final Battle:
https://youtu.be/VB-WvKoBZgA
Jinjo Village:
https://youtu.be/_oXPFtv818c
Mayahem Temple:
https://youtu.be/eR0iCxsIAuM
Jolly Roger’s Lagoon:
https://youtu.be/Ad0wbpQPuHs
NOTE: The first five of these music tracks would also be available in a medley that transitions when you reach the songs corresponding area.
