WWYP XIII: Apocalypse Now

[Jam Stunna]

Write With Your Power XIII
Apocalypse Now

It's everyone's favorite time of year, Write With Your Power time! Believe it or not, it's been over a year since our last contest, so we're well overdue. Things are going to be done a bit differently this time, so please be sure to read this post thoroughly and ask questions if you have them.

I know that you're all bummed out that you weren't Raptured away on May 21st, but hey, life on earth as we know it can end if we really want it to! That is the prompt for this iteration of the contest:

Write a story about the end of the world.

Will your story be a quiet reflection on mortality? Or a loud, cataclysmic tale of utter destruction? Or a heart-wrenching account of a battle against hopeless odds? It's totally up to you. We're leaving things pretty open on this prompt, and we're open to imaginative takes on the prompt.

Now for the stuff our lawyers make us post!

NOTE: THE RULES FOR THIS CONTEST ARE DIFFERENT THAN PAST CONTESTS! PLEASE READ THEM THOROUGHLY AND BE SURE THAT YOU UNDERSTAND THEM!

Rules
1) All stories MUST be ORIGINAL WORKS written during the time frame of the contest. NO stories written before today's date will be knowingly judged (therein lies the rub: we don't actually know when you wrote your story; we're going to rely on everyone's sense of honor. Remember, this is "Write With Your Power," not "Submit Past Works With Your Power").

Also, NO PLAGIARISM. You will be banned from this contest, and possibly banned from the site. We are dead serious about this.

2) The word limit for this contest is 10,000 words. We won't get bent out of shape if you're pushing 10,600 or something, but anything significantly over 10,000 will affect your score negatively.

3) NEW RULE!!You MUST provide constructive criticism to at least one other writer's submission. This criticism must be offered in the author's thread for all to see (no "But I talked to him/her on AIM!" nonsense). YOUR SUBMISSION WILL NOT BE JUDGED IF WE CANNOT VERIFY THAT YOU COMMENTED ON SOMEONE ELSE'S WORK. You can comment on every piece if you like, but you MUST comment on AT LEAST ONE.

The goal here is to help us all improve. Any writer will tell you what a valuable tool a writer's group is, where writers read each other's work and offer suggestions for improvement. Yes, there will be winners for this contest, but the goal is for participants to come out of this contest as stronger writers, no matter if they come in first or last.

Also, if possible, please try to comment on a story that has not been commented on yet. This exercise is intended to help everyone; if one story gets all the attention and others are neglected, then the purpose has not been served.

Submission Process NEW! PLEASE READ CAREFULLY!!!
As a result of the new commenting requirement, we're going to alter the submission guidelines to allow for participants to make use of the suggestions they receive. The schedule will go as follows:

July 1st- WWYP XIII officially begins
July 31st- Rough drafts due
August 15th- Final Drafts due
August 31st- Scores and comments from judges due

We're requiring that ALL ENTRANTS submit a rough draft. You will have one month to work on it, and then there will be a two week window for commenting and editing. You are not required to edit your work, but it is STRONGLY RECOMMENDED that you do. Label your entries [WWYP XIII]: Story Name Here.

As this contest is already scheduled to last for two months, ALL DEADLINES ARE FINAL AND NON-NEGOTIABLE. We've been pretty loose about extensions and giving results in the past, but there will be no extensions this time, and I give you my word that results will be posted on time.

Judges
1)Jam Stunna
2)El Nino
3)TBD

Judging Rubric
The judges will grade the stories based on the Scurvy Rubric, listed as follows. Entrants will be graded on a scale of 1-10 in four separate areas, for a possible total score of 40 points:

Adherence to Prompt -
Virgilijus - How interwoven is your story to the guidelines? If the prompt were a genre, could some one read it and instantly know the prompt was fantasy or satire? If they can, you followed it well. If not, you avoided it too much. Also, the prompt should be well utilized: a story that requires a mythical object should use it for all its potential worth, not merely mention it and check it off the list.

Matt - These points should be easy to earn. How well did you engage the guidelines? Did you engage them creatively? Did you engage them with your power? If I ask you to use a gun in your story, will you give me knife? Take risks, but don't disregard our basic expectations.


Tone -
Virgilijus - The overall mood of the story; the feeling that you get when you read it. This is made up by the setting, characters, dialogue, and the imagery. Unless it is directed by the prompt, the tone for each story should be different, but they should all impact the reader. A good tone should get the reader immersed in the story, whether or not it is from blissful country sides or horrifying mad men. How real is your story in the readers mind?

S*** - Tone is made up of character (do your characters seem real? do they talk real? are they interesting), setting (Does your story have a sense of place? Of time? Are we always oriented?) and imagery (can we see what's going on?)


Style -
Virgilijus - This is what separates your story from others of the same plot. How do you describe people, actions, and places? What rhythm do your words have? How quickly do you move the plot? Style is your paintbrush to show why your painting of little girl is different and more powerful than some one else’s.

S*** - The most technical of the categories. Did you use proper spelling and grammar? Did you try to push the envelope with your sentence structure? Did you construct the plot in a significant manner? This category relies heavily on phrasing and specifics.


Enjoyment -
Virgilijus - Enjoyment is the immediate and long lasting appeal of your story. While we were reading it, was it a page turner? After we finished, did we sit and think about the theme or the final scene? Is your story an accomplishment, or just words with a beginning, middle and end?

Matt- An enjoyable story brings plot elements and theme and, frankly, everything listed above together in a way that is both memorable and engaging. We're talking about the WOW factor here, and these types of points aren't easy to earn.

Awards
1st Place - Smash Writer Status, Custom Title, and input on the prompt of WWYP XIV
2nd Place - Smash Writer Status and a Custom Title
3rd Place - Smash Writer Status

So start thinking, have fun, and WRITE WITH YOUR POWER!

 

[Tom]

hi im entering this thanks

this prompt is baller

i really like the new rules / format

 

[Tom]

I'll just leave this here: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ApocalypseHow (WARNING, TV TROPES: DO NOT CLICK UNLESS YOU HAVE A LOT OF TIME ON YOUR HANDS OR IF YOUR INTERNET BROWSER CANNOT SUSTAIN 20 TABS OPEN AT ONCE)

 

[Evil Eye]

I want to enter but I don't think I'll have time.

 

[Matunas]

Probably going to enter. And you better enter EE

 

[Jam Stunna]

I'll just leave this here: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ApocalypseHow (WARNING, TV TROPES: DO NOT CLICK UNLESS YOU HAVE A LOT OF TIME ON YOUR HANDS OR IF YOUR INTERNET BROWSER CANNOT SUSTAIN 20 TABS OPEN AT ONCE)

Yes, this is better than pointlessly browsing Wikipedia.

 

[GoldShadow]

This is gonna be the best... Christmas... ever.

 

[DerpDaBerp]

Is there, perhaps, a minimum word count?

I had nothing ridiculously short in mind, just wondering where my barriers are as far as not losing any points.

 

[Jam Stunna]

Nope, no minimum word count.

 

[tmw_redcell]

Some cool bro should seriously make a forum-wide announcement or make this a featured topic or something.

 

[OmegaXXII]

Hello everyone, I'll be happy to join in on this prompt, I've always wanted to take part of the festivities.

I would be happy to announce it, but I wouldn't know how.

 

[Zigsta]

I'm definitely entering this. I've been waiting for a while!

Does this have to be prose, or can it be in screenplay format?

 

[Jam Stunna]

Prose submissions only.

 

[Teran]

Oh **** yeah I'm in.

 

[#HBC | Dark Horse]

I'm curious, does post-apocalyptic count?

 

[Jam Stunna]

Sure, that's fine Dark Horse.

 

[Deleted member]

totes in.

how literal do we have to take the subject?

 

[Jam Stunna]

That's up to you. As I said, we're open to "imaginative takes" on the prompt, but be sure that we're not scratching our heads in confusion when we read your story.

 

[Luigitoilet]

I am going to try this

 

[Pakman]

I think I might give it a go.

 

[thegreatkazoo]

Will this be the spark that gets me back on this site?

Uh...I'll think about it.

 

[Alien Vision]

May the power of tidal waves, eruptions, hell storms, and 1000 MPH winds be invested in you!

DarkHorse knows whats up. Post-apocalyptic > Nature's boring crackhead moments. Either way. Good luck everyone.

 

[vanderzant]

Cool theme! I'll try and write something good.

 

[Fried Ice Cream]

Does it matter how long the rough draft is?

Also, looks interesting but it's soooo hard to write a really great story without messing up some of the message, as English is a second language of mine .

This is going to cost me points as well, isn't it?

 

[OmegaXXII]

Does it matter how long the rough draft is..

I don't think it matters how long it is, there is a word limit though.

2) The word limit for this contest is 10,000 words. We won't get bent out of shape if you're pushing 10,600 or something, but anything significantly over 10,000 will affect your score negatively.

 

[Gatlin]

I'll be entering, sounds fun

 

[Jam Stunna]

Does it matter how long the rough draft is?

Also, looks interesting but it's soooo hard to write a really great story without messing up some of the message, as English is a second language of mine .

This is going to cost me points as well, isn't it?

Yeah, the rough draft can be any length, as long as it doesn't exceed 10,000 words by too much.

Also, about English being your second language, just try your best. We're not English teachers; as long as we can understand what you're trying to say, you should be fine.

 

[tekkie]

i'm entering. how racy can this be? lol

 

[Jam Stunna]

As racy as you like, which brings up something important:

YOU MAY CENSOR DODGE IN YOUR STORIES.

Cursing for the hell of it will not make your story better, but the option is there if you feel that more "colorful" language will help.

 

[Luigitoilet]

i'm entering. how racy can this be? lol

In addition to what Jam said, I think having a completely un-racy story would be doing a disservice to yourself considering the prompt.

 

[tekkie]

In addition to what Jam said, I think having a completely un-racy story would be doing a disservice to yourself considering the prompt.

Just checking to see how much language, drugs, sex, violence, etc. would be frowned upon.

 

[Jam Stunna]

You can have a hooker screaming "F*ck me harder" while doing lines of coke off the dashboard of the car she's running over pedestrians in for all I care.

 

[tekkie]

You can have a hooker screaming "F*ck me harder" while doing lines of coke off the dashboard of the car she's running over pedestrians in for all I care.

Smashboards - Home of the greatest writing contests in the universe

 

[Luigitoilet]

Mature or even gruesome content has never been looked down upon here as far as I can remember. Just becase Smash Bros raps are the most popular thread type in here doesn't mean that it is encouraged.

 

[Evil Eye]

Yeah. In fact if you're reading this, and you write smash bros raps. ...stop.

Seriously. Stop. You killed the CM. Go post your garbage in a social thread where people might mistake you for some sort of talented individual or something. Somehow.

But yeah like as I always say when someone asks this question... we had a story that contained an attempted suicide, anal sex, ****, incest, incestual ****, bondage. You name it. And it was graphic as all hell.

The score of that story was through the ground... because it was a bad story. And for no other reason. Do whatcha want homeboy. We're all about art here!

 

[Jam Stunna]

Virg in 3...2...1...

 

[The Phazon Assassin]

I'm probably gonna throw something together.....no, I AM going to throw something together. I'll be able to get some constructive criticism, and it gives me a chance to do something different with the character for my story.

 

[Alien Vision]

How do you properly use the '';''s or the ''-''s?

Example: I woke up from a blackout to see myself in a building; that appears to be abandoned. It was cold, and unsettling. I couldn't stop coughing - due to the air being so thick. I look outside to see a giant hole in the sky, fire was roaring outside of the building like an angry beast. The walls were torn apart. My clothes were burned up. I must've passed out trying to put the flames out. The mysterious man said to himself while forgetting that there is actually a hole in the sky.

I admit. I blow at writing stories. Just ignore my example. I also admit I couldn't write it to where I actually wanted to use the desired punctuation. Can you please give me a short passage that gives me an idea on how they are properly used? Thanks in advance. ^^

 

[Evil Eye]

I woke up from a blackout to see myself in a building; that appears to be abandoned.

Woke is past tense, appears is present tense. You have to pick a tense.

Either "I woke up from a blackout to see myself in a building that appeared to be abandoned" or "I wake up from etc etc appears to be abandoned."

You are not using the semicolon correctly. No punctuation needs to be in that spot at all, actually. Semicolons basically are used to connect two full, complete grammatical sentences that are also a connected thought.

It was cold, and unsettling. I couldn't stop coughing - due to the air being so thick.[/color]

The dash is unneeded here. You could a comma instead, or nothing at all. Neither are very pleasant writing on the eye, honestly. I'd just rearrange the sentence.

Also that comma was misused. The way you misused it is, sometimes, favorably broken for "flavor", but I feel like this was accidental so I'm warning you. "It was cold. Unsettling." works better in the manner you're going for and, funny enough, also breaks a technical rule (sentence fragments).

I look outside to see a giant hole in the sky, fire was roaring outside of the building like an angry beast.

Tense confusion again. "Looked" and "was" or "look" and "is". You should look this up on the web because I have a feeling you just don't understand the rule and internet educational resources can probably explain it better than I could.

Also that comma was actually a spot that would probably use a semicolon.

The walls were torn apart. My clothes were burned up. I must've passed out trying to put the flames out. The mysterious man said to himself while forgetting that there is actually a hole in the sky.

Okay.

1) The line of dialogue by the MYSTERIOUS MAN should probably be on its own line, with the paragraph ending from "My clothes were burned up."

2) Colloquial contractions like "must've" should be kept to dialogue only. I know that's what you did here, but I'm just warning you ahead of time. Technically you should only use contractions in dialogue period but ehhh nobody bothers with that.

3) Tense confusion again.

4) Basically everything about the dialogue is wrong. Here's what it should look like, followed by what you wrote so you can do a side by side comparison:

"I must've passed out trying to put the flames out," the mysterious man said to himself, forgetting that there was actually a hole in the sky. <----Good grammar

I must've passed out trying to put the flames out. The mysterious man said to himself while forgetting that there is actually a hole in the sky. <----Your excerpt


"These marks bookending my sentence are used for dialogue," EE said, massaging his temples. "This is the generally accepted way to express dialogue."

Notice in particular how the dialogue itself and the speaker designation in my version aren't separate sentences. That is important, and basically one of the few almost universal rules of writing to boot.


5) Everything is kind of FUBAR because you're narrating the whole thing in first person -- I, me, etc etc. And yet you refer to the mysterious man as "the mysterious man", and not "I" or "me", or etc etc. That doesn't make sense, unless the narrator and the Mysterious Man are different people in the same room of the same building that both passed out and subsequently woke up, at approximately the same time.

But I doubt that.





Okay that's everything.

Read this (tense)

And this (semicolons)

You get the idea (dialogue)

I didn't really get to touch on this before so also this (dashes)

 

[Sucumbio]

I've never done one of these... guess I can give it a shot.