worst excuse you heard someone say cause they lost

[Me14k]

"peach's F smash is broken"

 

[Pariah]

"There's some sort of wall that edgehogs me, darnit!"
_
-.-"
It came from the person who spazzes out everytime they are jumping.

 

[Volrec]

"I'm thirsty"

 

[Justin]

"I would've won if I would've f-smashed you with my Popo, but since he is so small..he gets KOed easily."

.....

 

[_Phloat_]

Don't have any specifics, but I do get a lot of ones on the roll edgehogging trick, and a LOT blaming on "momentum" and the begining..

 

[RVD_fan]

I would've won if I was better than you

 

[Kalmetam]

"That's not fair, you're too fast" or "My controller won't work"

 

[Eternal phoenix Fire]

"Watch out for those Dog Games son!!"-Hilarious

 

[SkyReaver]

I was playing my Cousin and he said " You hacker!! Stop hacking!! Only hackers do that !! ," As if I know how to hack SSBM @.@.

 

[nitro-blazer]

"**** Battlefield...."

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is MY #1 john.

Battlefield sucks. Plain and simple. <_<;

 

[KazeOfTheWind]

"Spiking is cheap. (right after that kill, he spiked me)"

"All you did was spam your FSmash (after the round, I tried to show the statistics, but he kept trying to hit my start button to hide it. It listed 4 Smashes total.)"
_____________________________________________________________________________
Conversation:

Him: The only reason I lost to you is because those people at the school break my controller(we play ssbm at school).

Me: Nobody there uses your controller, you dont allow them to.

Him: Shut up, you weren't even there when they broke it, so how would you know.

Me: Im the only one who brings the GameCube.
____________________________________________________________________________

and the funniest one of all that happened earlier today....

We were playing a 1 on 1 and when I beat him, he blurted out "You stalked me!" then he stopped and realized what he had said, then I told him, "Yeah, I know I stalked you. You're the only opponent on the field." XD

Note: All of the ones I have listed so far came from the same guy.

 

[KratosAurion192]

Ok I beat one of my friends once in like 3 years...I main Link..."Spin much?"
"Walk into it much?"

 

[Dylan_Tnga]

Hmm I've never played against a John before. So I can't recall anyone ive played against trying to justify losing. If they did I wouldn't smash with them due to their bad attitude.

 

[F8AL]

"Chaingrabbing requires no skill" - A n00b from my school when i kept on chaingrabbing his fox and falcon.

"The lower level inside Corneia is a glitch area" - Same guy. I was Marth and he was fox and i kept on grabbing him, fthrowing him, rolling back, dashdancing and regrabbing him and repeating this process.

 

[Justin]

"My butt itched so I had to play one-handed for a sec and you took advantage of that."

 

[Giggidax]

johns johns johns, they are all so very stupid.

"i killed myself.. twice!!!" i know that SD's are kind of an excuse but thats his fault for trying to counterpick my link with fox lol. (tried to do fox dittos) *friend chooses marth* (goes back to link vs marth) *friend chooses fox vs link* me = wtf?!
^ that was at some local tourny

"why do u wavedash its so pointless and its cheap" wtf? it its pointless then how can it be cheap. and i dont see wavedodging Fsmash pointless.

"u must play this game like everyday huh?" well yea i do.. but its not like i have human opponents to play against the majority of the time.

my occasional john i like to use is "dude i went blind for a little during that match! couldnt see!" stupid.. i know

 

[Dylan_Tnga]

johns johns johns, they are all so very stupid.

"i killed myself.. twice!!!" i know that SD's are kind of an excuse but thats his fault for trying to counterpick my link with fox lol. (tried to do fox dittos) *friend chooses marth* (goes back to link vs marth) *friend chooses fox vs link* me = wtf?!
^ that was at some local tourny

"why do u wavedash its so pointless and its cheap" wtf? it its pointless then how can it be cheap. and i dont see wavedodging Fsmash pointless.

"u must play this game like everyday huh?" well yea i do.. but its not like i have human opponents to play against the majority of the time.

my occasional john i like to use is "dude i went blind for a little during that match! couldnt see!" stupid.. i know

Man, I would never give you any of that nonsense, its ridiculous. Bad attitudes equates to bad smashers

 

[Giggidax]

Man, I would never give you any of that nonsense, its ridiculous. Bad attitudes equates to bad smashers

haha yea! i have more fun playing smashers who know their skill, dont brag too much but its always fun to bragg and dont make up ridiculous excuses for losing. but u know i can put up with it mhmm

Dylan_tnga ftw

 

[Red Exodus]

Lol Dylan go back 2 or 3 pages, 4 if you don't see the link the gamefaqs.com, there's a thread with the noobiest guy ever [unless he's joking], it was so funny.

 

[Dylan_Tnga]

Yeah noobs are funny some item preacher pm'd me for my post who thinks like if he has items on he will save the universe and win millions of dollars to buy ponies, so I told him I would pray to the gods of smash for his salvation.. Not that I'm religious Im being entirely sarcastic.

 

[Wolfblade]

My friend got from some kid- "You didn't let me attack!"

And I got from my friend during an item match- "****ing Porygon! Every kill was Porygon!"
(though i must say, if item are on he dies of porygon like once a match)

Bro- "Stop throwing me!"
Me- "Stop being grabbed!"

Me when I first realized that Link can just stand there and his shield will stop a projectile. I kept testing it then my friend (using samus) fired his full blast shot. Smoked me in the foot and I died. - "Dude! That's not fair! You're not supposed to hit my foot!"

I don't count sweaty hands as a john... well not always. I know whenever somebody dies between me and my buddy we both immediately wipe the sweat off our hands.

 

[cyberdemon]

Some dude said: "I lost because you hit me in a dead angle and I couldn't react"

 

[Razgriz]

"Every kill you got was from edge guarding because you can't kill me any other way!"
"I'd like to see you play just once without that stupid shield button!"
"You have an advantage because you keep switching characters so I can't get used to your style. That's the only reason you win."

I do respect one John however. "My hands were cold." Playing Melee after walking to your friend's house through cold weather and losing because of cold hands is legitimate. It's a ***** to make ur fingers move when they're cold; and dash dancing & wavedashing? Forget about it.

 

[Razed]

Lol Dylan go back 2 or 3 pages, 4 if you don't see the link the gamefaqs.com, there's a thread with the noobiest guy ever [unless he's joking], it was so funny.

Cant find it

Link me please =O

 

[Dragon_Hawk]

"You can't do the same attack in a row that's cheap! If you weren't using that move over and over again then I would've won!"

I had someone say something like that once.

 

[_Phloat_]

"Oh em gee, fox is cruise control for easy, I could pick him up and win, you try marth."
*We trade controllers*
*I procede to ken combo him for the 3 stock advantage I already had..

"**** c-stick"

lol

 

[Mr. Ganondorf]

Worst john ever brought to you by DSF: "I had the wrong controller slot"

This was his excuse for getting rested by Mango when they stayed at my house, lol.

 

[slartibartfast42]

No, I'm actually very good at this game. Just not against hard people.

 

[LHG]

"I'm at a disadvantage when I'm Fox with items off. He needs items, he's an item user/character."

@__@

 

[spoonyd]

"I'm not playing you one on one. You practice and stuff."

 

[KevinM]

Why do we have to keep playing gay stages like FD i would crush your *** on temple

o.O

 

[Indigo4]

I'm not exactly sure you'd call this an excuse for losing, but one time, some friends and I had a Smash gathering, and this one kid came who just drives us all nuts, mainly because he is WAYYYYYY too arrogent about his skills. Anyways, his older brother, who is an amazing player, beat me with a Pink Yoshi, and I beat the kid I spoke of before. Since he is an extremly poor sport, he felt the need to tell me for weeks on end that at least he wasn't beaten by a pink yoshi.

No, better yet, he was beaten by someone who was beaten by a Pink Yoshi. ^_^

 

[Endless Nightmares]

Instead of thinking of what my opponents John, I'll try to think of ones I use.

My only John is one word: "Battlefield."

You know, when you're supposed to grab the edge, but you mysteriously scrape right past it, and then you up B, only to get trapped under the lip

**** you, Battlefield. **** you

 

[valtiel]

“OMG im not used to this controller!” the most lame john i've heard.

 

[Superstar]

^^ That john should only work for one match, after that the person should have gotten accustomed.

I remember when my controller stunk. It would keep moving on its own. I would reset with X+Y+Start for 3 sec, but one flick of the stick and it would UNreset itself, to a major degree, making some attacks impossible. I had no money for a controller, so I would keep asking for the good one.

There was this person next door, who was losing and complained that it was his controllers fault. We traded controllers, it was kinda funny, after that he wanted to trade back because he said that my controller was worse. Even when he had my brother's controller, the good on, he said it was still the controller's fault.

Recently, for Christmas, after 2 years of suffering, I finally got 2 good brand new GameCube controllers, and they handle like a dream. That was also around the time I started learning the techs. :D

 

[FireBomb]

"I can't see."

...No, he's not blind, it has to do with not having contacts lenses on.

 

[Shinki]

"w/e, I wasn't trying." as my friends say after wiping their hands of sweat on their jeans. We're pretty equal but they all use my most hated characters, Sheik and Marth. I use link so fighting those two are a pain in the ***, but I manage to win half the time.

I just dun like the fact that I admit defeat but they think I win by flukes -.-.

 

[AtomICON]

I get grave, almost shocking insults from my friend every time I combo or chain grab him.

Like to the extent where you think I just killed his mom or something


"YOU'RE A ****ING ****** I ****ING HATE YOU YOU ****ING *******"

and any time his sheik loses
"You only won because *insert character name* is the anti sheik."

 

[Shinki]

I get grave, almost shocking insults from my friend every time I combo or chain grab him.

Like to the extent where you think I just killed his mom or something


"YOU'RE A ****ING ****** I ****ING HATE YOU YOU ****ING *******"

and any time his sheik loses
"You only won because *insert character name* is the anti sheik."

IS there an anti-sheik? >_>

 

[Banks]

"i was sandbagging" thats a good one woo woo woooooo