Wish Corruptor

[handsockpuppet]

granted, but soon their corpses start to smell.

I wish I had a pink pony named sparkle-sweetness, and people don't think I'm gay for having it.

 

[~Krystal~]

Granted, but since the pony is a female, they will assume you're going to **** it.

I wish I had a magic lamp.

 

[Enlong]

Granted. The specific power it has turns out to be that it reduces any living matter that touches it, and everything else in a 5 mile radius but itself to plasma.

I wish for the stars to remind us that the past is real

 

[smashbot226]

Granted. The past is SO real, it's repeated. Meteors destroy Earth.

I wish I was the luckiest person in the world.

 

[~Krystal~]

Granted, but life becomes boring once you get everything you've ever wanted.

I wish the Earth had low gravity, hammers, and spartan lasers.

 

[Enlong]

Granted. You are hammered into the air and easily reach escape velocity and fly into space. Just as the pain from suffocation and explosion almost gives out as you die, somebody shoots you in the head with a Spartan Laser. The last thing you hear, and your most prominent memory for eternity, is "OMFG I PwNZ0R3d J0o0!"

I wish for a working, real copy of Kirby Super Star for the SNES, the specific cartridge not having been stolen from anyone, nor having caused anyone to be hurt by this wish being fulfilled, nor covered with any substance, harmful or otherwise, that would make it any different then an ordinary cartridge that one would find in a game store at the time it was being sold, to appear in exactly 12 seconds at my eye level, within 1 foot of me, but not intersecting any matter except for the ambient atmosphere around it, and in a location that I can easily see, float toward my hands at a rate of 5 centimeters per second, and then stop levitating as soon as I grab it. The cartridge must work when I plug it into my SNES the first time and every time after that, and must remain in my possession, never to be stolen or teleport away again, and this wish must not cause anything to happen that I have not specifically wished for.

 

[platnum]

Granted, but god says no and kills you!


I wish f07 1337 9wn4ge!

 

[Enlong]

Granted, but god says no and kills you!


I wish f07 1337 9wn4ge!

The wish is un-interpretable due to misuse of 1337. You are killed in a glitch.

Also, you fail. God killing me was not specifically wished for in my wish, and my wish expressly forbids anything that happens as a result of my wish that was not specifically wished for. I wish for you to try to corrupt my last wish again.

 

[Antinegative]

and this wish must not cause anything to happen that I have not specifically wished for.

Your Wish is granted, but you did not specify in this wish that the game will bring you any enjoyment. Therefore any enjoyment of the game is forbidden due to the above clause.

I wish the Cubs would win the World Series.

 

[~Krystal~]

Your Wish is granted, but you did not specify in this wish that the game will bring you any enjoyment. Therefore any enjoyment of the game is forbidden due to the above clause.

I wish the Cubs would win the World Series.

Granted, but then you wake up.

I wish Bush was no longer our president.

 

[smashbot226]

Granted. Osama bin Laden is.

Actually, come to think of it... that'd be better than Bush.


I wish for nothing.

 

[antimatter]

granted. everything in the universe just disappears in a reverse big bang.
i wish tycho and gabe from penny arcade would be assist trophies.

 

[Antinegative]

Granted, but they make the game crash whenever they show up.

I wish I had more than 2 posts under my belt.

 

[antimatter]

granted. you have three.
i wish that i could be the boss of a company that makes awesome video games.

 

[Megavitamins]

Ok, but after 2 hours of you being the boss the company goes into debt and goes out of business.

I wish for a pet flying monkey.

 

[smashbot226]

Granted, but he eats you.


I wish Mass Effect wasn't bought for the lesbian scenes.

I swear, I KNOW what the twist is gonna be...

 

[Deleted member]

Granted. Then a house lands on you. A girl comes out and says, "I don't think we're in Oz anymore."

I wish that I had the power to control ice

 

[antimatter]

granted. you become one with the ice and melt in five months. i wish i knew how youko became a mod.

 

[platnum]

granted, but he bannes you


i wish for imortality for everyone the universe!

 

[smashbot226]

Granted, but they are horribly tortured during the Apocalypse, and they know EXACTLY who to blame.

I wish I saw Sonic the Baron's twist coming.

 

[antimatter]

granted. your'e still squished. i wish i knew how many smashboard members can appreciate the irony of platnum's new post here.

 

[Deleted member]

I wish Mass Effect wasn't bought for the lesbian scenes.

I swear, I KNOW what the twist is gonna be...

Granted. Then a house lands on you. A girl comes out and says, "I don't think we're in Oz anymore."

I wish I saw Sonic the Baron's twist coming.

Expect the unexpected.

@ Antimatter:
Granted. The number is 1: You

I wish I was a Iceman/Frozone superhero

 

[antimatter]

granted. but it is powered by freon, which destroys the ozone layer, so it is too hot to use your powers.
we use too much deoderant, we're doomed to sweat forever.
i wish that more people appreciated irony.

 

[Deleted member]

Granted. It's now 2: Add Magikarp

I wish that Kid Icarus was easier

 

[antimatter]

granted. now it takes one second less to beat than the last time you beat it.
i wish the writers strike was over. i miss the daily show and the colbert report. and i cant wait for january 7th like a normal person.

 

[Blu-ninja]

wish granted, but now there a VIDEOGAME writers strike.


i wish Zero suit samus was her own playable character

 

[Deleted member]

Granted. She's bottom tier.

I wish I could beat Kid Icarus (I've only gone to level 2)

 

[Blu-ninja]

touchea.


your wish is granted.but now youve lost interest in kid icarus, and will absolutely HATE this game and anything associated with it from now on.

i wish zero suit peach was a playable character.

 

[jigglyppuff8]

Granted but ssbb is now rated AO.
I wish jigglypuff would be a decent character in brawl.(I don't even care if it's low tier.)

 

[Deleted member]

Granted, but she's still worse than Pichu and Mewtwo combined

I wish I had total control of reality. I could contro physics, how long people live, and everyone obeyed my every whim with a snap of the fingers

I swear, I KNOW what the twist is gonna be...

 

[antimatter]

granted. but god gets mad at you being an upstart and sentences you to divine labor.
i wish that people didnt get mad when someone says "merry christmas".

 

[jigglyppuff8]

Granted but everyone is now deaf.
I wish I could type 1337speak.

 

[antimatter]

granted, you cant turn it off, even when speaking. i wish for osama bin ladin to be captured like he belong for masterminding 9/11.

 

[SonicMario]

Granted, He's captured in your mind and trying to make you do stuff to America every single moment of your life.

I wish I had Sonic the Baron's type of humor

 

[Deleted member]

Granted. Unfortunately, the wish is a corruption in itself.

I wish I had something to do.

 

[Antinegative]

Granted. It's time for your root canal!

I wish there was some snow on the ground for Christmas.

 

[antimatter]

granted. its so thick, you're snowbound for the rest of your life.
i wish haloid's ending wasnt disgusting in any way, shape, or form.

 

[Deleted member]

Granted, but guess what? You just ruined Super Mario Galaxy.

I wish I had a better sense of humor

 

[MetalLuigi1209]

Granted, but everyone finds your jokes annoying after a while.

I wish I was invincible while running with scissors.

 

[antimatter]

granted. you drop the scissors, trip, and well... it isnt pretty.
i wish that hackers didnt exist in metroid prime hunters.