What's the dumbest thing you've ever heard someone say about Smash?

[Sliq]

My predictions for Brawl!
Today, johns!

"You hacked the game I never would have lost to you hacker!"
"Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag!"
"Online isn't my style."
"d00d ur ken rite u totaly r"

Online Johns are the best:

"I wasn't trying."

"I don't normally play as "character."

"I'm six."

"ZOMG HAX!"

"Lag!"

"If this was face to face I would've won."

I see that one happening a lot, like playing in person will make you less of a scrub.

I'm sure they'll complain about edgehogging. No doubt there will be cries of "CHEAP!" across the wiiinternet.

And I'm almost positive a lot of people will quit out of games in which they are getting destroyed.

 

[Kerocola]

Oh, yeah. The inevitable "CHEAP!"
I always get that. In person, and most likely online. And like you said, D/Cers...
I've fought a few intelligent people though, that if you edgeguard, they pick up on it and do it also. Which comes along the funny case of them trying to imitate a wavedash when they don't know how. Not much of a quote, but it's fun to watch.

 

[psicicle]

hopefully brawl will have player ratings so you could go into a high level room

 

[teeman92]

i was playing mt cuzin,he was..mario? i was falco, as soon as the match started, i use "fire bird" (whatever you call it) falco yells, "heeya",

my cuz said:man why you always pick fox or falco to do that "aaaheehaa" move?

i lol'd

and anather one was,me and my bro was playing,im fox,he's sheik(the cheapest charather)

as soon as the match starts, he grabs me and down tilt,then use up smash over and over,

i yell: dammit,why you always pick that cheap *** charather?!

 

[KevinM]

i was playing mt cuzin,he was..mario? i was falco, as soon as the match started, i use "fire bird" (whatever you call it) falco yells, "heeya",

my cuz said:man why you always pick fox or falco to do that "aaaheehaa" move?

i lol'd

and anather one was,me and my bro was playing,im fox,he's sheik(the cheapest charather)

as soon as the match starts, he grabs me and down tilt,then use up smash over and over,

i yell: dammit,why you always pick that cheap *** charather?!

Edit all my other posts... this is the dumbest thing i've ever heard about smash

 

[Corigames]

Edit all my other posts... this is the dumbest thing i've ever heard about smash

Yeah... I second that motion.

 

[thechunkylover]

yay comments from youtube

doesnt seem like they are level 9, so the match would be useless. it doesnt prove anything until you are actally playing against level 9 cpu chars.

I love 3 vs 1 handicap matches. They're so much fun.

 

[Fame]

"Jigglypuff is weak"

 

[Dark Sonic]

My friend was beating some guy as Zelda and the guy goes WTF are you pivoting in mid air!? My friend replies "Naw dude, it's just the same move in both directions"

Marth sucks, Roy is so much better. LoL I kicked his a**.

Falco shouldn't fall fast 'cause he's a bird.

If Young Link drinks enough milk he should transform into Big Link.

Mewtwo shouldn't have that nair cause he's not an electric pokemon.

 

[bloodvayne]

Not necessarily about ssbm, but while holding a ssbm tournament in my school, some super nerdy kid enters, bragging about how he won't lose because he's using the strongest pokemon ever (mewtwo)

he loses

 

[Artistry]

First time player as Mario, "B IS A FIREBALL??!!?!?!!!???!!?" and continues to use B for the rest of the game.

Also, one time I was playing against my friend, and he was C. Falcon, and he kept using his taunt. I killed him as quickly as I could and he got really mad and then I snapped back with, "Well you're the one who keeps going..." and I couldn't think of what Captain Falcon says for some reason, and I burst out with a ********-sounding, "...it's MEEE!!!"

..yup. We laughed for hours.

 

[HideousBeing]

O.K., I got a new one. My dear old brother keeps providing me with these gems, so you can thank him. "Are you kidding? Super Smash Bros Melee is waaaay more imbalanced than the original!"

 

[SLAYERCoLdKiLr]

At the SmashFest In NewJersey in January 07

Mew2King : "This is much better than playing alone"

after we all ordered food and SOMEONE never put money up.
Mew2King : "MEW2KING HUNGRY!!"
SomeKid: "Mew2king, SHUT UP"

MyFriendEvan: "Yo dude, mew2king just perfected me. He JV5 stocked me"
EveryoneinNewjersey: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

[looty]

I was playing someone and I think their brain stopped thinking and they yelled

That gay is so move!

He was literaly spazzing out f**k before he said that

 

[1048576]

i was playing mt cuzin,he was..mario? i was falco, as soon as the match started, i use "fire bird" (whatever you call it) falco yells, "heeya",

my cuz said:man why you always pick fox or falco to do that "aaaheehaa" move?

i lol'd

and anather one was,me and my bro was playing,im fox,he's sheik(the cheapest charather)

as soon as the match starts, he grabs me and down tilt,then use up smash over and over,

i yell: dammit,why you always pick that cheap *** charather?!

I third and fourth it.

 

[O.oV]

Playing my friend using fox and he says "man that shield is cheap"

 

[Falco&Victory]

O.K., I got a new one. My dear old brother keeps providing me with these gems, so you can thank him. "Are you kidding? Super Smash Bros Melee is waaaay more imbalanced than the original!"

Um, In a way he's right. In the old one a Smash Veteran could whoop any1 with any1. Now, Ken's G&W sucks so much I could beat it with any high tier.

A good one was, "Why would I want to play another fighting game just like Street Fighter?"

 

[Johnknight1]

If Young Link drinks enough milk he should transform into Big Link.

Mewtwo shouldn't have that nair cause he's not an electric pokemon.

Funny as hell, I almost lol'd out of my chair= Very funny Sonic Wave!

At the SmashFest In NewJersey in January 07

Mew2King : "This is much better than playing alone"

after we all ordered food and SOMEONE never put money up.
Mew2King : "MEW2KING HUNGRY!!"
SomeKid: "Mew2king, SHUT UP"

MyFriendEvan: "Yo dude, mew2king just perfected me. He JV5 stocked me"
EveryoneinNewjersey: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHA SLAYERCoLdKiLr sucks to be your friend, lol. I'll take it he wasn't too happy, lol!

I got one: I was facing my frined and I was WD like crazy with Luigi, and I was beating the crap out of him, and he says me "John stop hacking, you can't slide like that! What is this, a surfing contest?" Even though I was owning him, I almost lost because I fell down laughing and forgot to pause, lmao! After a few minutes of constant laughing, I finished him off and won, even though he had about a minute to beat me witout me playing, lol! good times, good times!

 

[mariomasv]

""The C-stick is for n00000bs!""

actually, the C-stick was originally designed for noobs...

 

[shadepaw]

This guy who I own so bad, he's practically my smash b**** (I can't stress this enough), came to my house and started a tournament on tournament mode (his favourite). We get 3 players each (our mains and backup) and random level computers. When my secondary gets beaten by a level 9 pichu (i was kirby) on battlefield, he says I am crap and could get beaten by anyone. What makes this so funny is not only he is my smash b****, but he has troubles from level 7 and up, and I have to teach him to be better.

He also said during the tournament; 'why does this computer keep hitting me and not letting me kill them?'
Now I'm not sure but I have an idea...

 

[thebluedeath1000]

I was going to say the dumbest thing I've heard in person about smash..about after reading this entire topic, I found it getting topped over and over by people who thought they were going to write something funny about a noob, and just realized how "oh my god, this guy is sad" they are. So yeah...I'm at a loss for words at the moment as far as "noob" statements go..

 

[teeman92]

EVERYTIME my bro picks roy, he yells, "ROY MY BOY TOY!!"

me:.....what?

 

[crynoglare]

a friend who just bought ssbm but has played it before asked me "Omg! how did u do that?!" when i charged a smash attack on him....who doesn't know how to do a smash attack?

 

[Root]

I was watching a game between two of my friends at my girlfriend's birthday party, when the following happens:
Player one, John, is three stocked by player two, Bill, because Bill was playing Kirby for fun. Bill promply drops the controller, yells "I WANT HIM TESTED FOR STEROIDS!" We all lol'd for 10 minutes straight. To make it better, the controller broke into pieces (I unscrewed it to disconnect the C-stick, another story).

 

[XgimmickX]

This isn't the dumbest thing I've heard but, the dumbest thing I've seen. I was playing against a few friends of mine when one of them(playing as mario) noticed a mushroom going off a cliff. For a reason I still don't understand he ran after it and died. He got real mad and ripped his controller out of the jack lol

 

[teeman92]

This isn't the dumbest thing I've heard but, the dumbest thing I've seen. I was playing against a few friends of mine when one of them(playing as mario) noticed a mushroom going off a cliff. For a reason I still don't understand he ran after it and died. He got real mad and ripped his controller out of the jack lol

funniest...thing.....ever lmao

 

[HideousBeing]

Um, In a way he's right. In the old one a Smash Veteran could whoop any1 with any1. Now, Ken's G&W sucks so much I could beat it with any high tier.

Meh, that's because there's far more characters in Melee than original. You can't expect Ken to own with all 26 characters. A pro G&W mainer though, would own with him. Don't tell me that someone couldn't do well in pro tourneys with a low tier character if they main him. That's getting into scrub mentality there.

 

[KevinM]

funniest...thing.....ever lmao

No.. i still stand by the motion that what you said was not only the dumbest, but the funniest thing i've ever read.. <3 Nublets making fun of nublets

 

[Sliq]

No.. i still stand by the motion that what you said was not only the dumbest, but the funniest thing i've ever read.. <3 Nublets making fun of nublets

Seconded FTW.

 

[DP's Mario]

Just peacefully playing with my friends. When I wave-dashed, Suddenly:

"What the hell is this and all this moon walkin'?!"

After calmly explaining...

".....Ya'll moon walkin' b******s..."

 

[scarykid78]

"DUDE! YOU ARE JUST PRESSING BUTTONS FAST AND U THINK YOU ARE GOOD BUT YOU ARE JUST BUTTON MASHING!!!!!!!"

(caps on purpose)

 

[gkrackerr]

here's another one fresh off the press:

ignorant fool: Man, captain falcon sucks, none of his moves are good. Hell, he probably has the worst move in the game, his stupid fu**ing b move

(I then proceed to play a match against him, me captain falcon, him peach)
I manage to 3 stock him one game. He asks for a rematch. This time I 4 stock him, and with the last kill, of course, coming from falcon punch.

I guess this one isn't that funny, but defenitely something stupid. I would have loved to see him face dark rain or isai after his last comment.

 

[D.A.S.T.A.R.D.L.Y.]

We were hosting a tournament at our school:

when one person found out, he was so excited he said

"I can't wait to trash you all with Dr. Game & Touch."

Needless to say the rest of the day looked brighter.

 

[shadepaw]

It's not too n00b but every time I use mario's fireball I say; 'Goodness! Gracious! Great balls of fire!'

 

[Kerocola]

Oh, I remembered one from my last tournament.
Dude: ur a n00b you'll get pwned you don't know anything about the game!
Me: So you know about wavedashing?
Dude: *looks at partner, short delay* Yes. *beings to laugh* Idiot.
Sounded like I lie. So I kept my eye on this guy. He couldn't wavedash. I would've loved to play him but he was in team and I was in the singles.
And in passing I heard
"Very Hard? Normal mode is already hard enough!"

 

[DP's Mario]

We were hosting a tournament at our school:

when one person found out, he was so excited he said

"I can't wait to trash you all with Dr. Game & Touch."

Needless to say the rest of the day looked brighter.

Wow, I actually laughed at this one and I can't stop!!!

 

[HideousBeing]

Oh, I remembered one from my last tournament.
Dude: ur a n00b you'll get pwned you don't know anything about the game!
Me: So you know about wavedashing?
Dude: *looks at partner, short delay* Yes. *beings to laugh* Idiot.
Sounded like I lie. So I kept my eye on this guy. He couldn't wavedash. I would've loved to play him but he was in team and I was in the singles.
And in passing I heard
"Very Hard? Normal mode is already hard enough!"

Ahahaha! Good one! You should have rubbed it in!
Another funny thing to do would have been to instead say something like, "So you know about glide-hopping?" (Or just make anything practical sounding up.) And watch him have the same reaction. Someone should try that btw.... I'm sure there are many arrogant n00bs like this that enter competitions. My first (and only) I had only recently learned WDing after all, and there were many n00bs that didn't know how (eliminated quickly of course.)

 

[Cisne]

4 friends playin a FFA , sheik jumps out de map , dj in , then , i METEORspike (marth dair pal) him at 20 % , he slowly went to his death. So we paused and stared at him.

guy: FFS , I DONT HAVE ENOUGH REFLEXES , OK ?

EDIT: omg , a good one i forgot.

A kid to the tournament admin.

Kid: can i use smash ataks ?
TA: .............yes.....u can.

the kid runs to a group of kids and shouts: YES , SMASH ATACKS
group of kids: yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah.....

 

[Tongji]

Oh I have a good one!

Nublet: Hey I hear your pretty good.
Me: Oh ya? Who did you hear that from.
Nublet: I want to play you. Who do you play as???
Me: MewTwo
Nublet: ROFLOL!! your a newb. I play shiek. You wont even hit the ground! Im going to destroy you.
Me: Alright I'll give you 10$ if you can kill me once.
Nublet & now group of Nublet Friends: Hahah look at this chump he thinks he's good!! Alright lets go!

*Game starts*
Nublet: F*** Stop using your shield
Nublet: Grab h****
Nublets Friends: Dude you havn't even hit him yet.
Nublets Friends: ZOMG

*His last stock*
Nublet: THIS IS A SLAUGHTER! If you didn't have your shield or grabs! I would Have killed you!!!!!!! GAH!!!!
*Nublet then proceads to spike his controller on the ground and it breaks in two.*
Me: GG scrublet! hahaha

Post Game Carnage Report

Me
Stocks Left: 4
Damage: 13% (from needles)

Shiek Nublet
Stocks left: 0 lolz

 

[shadepaw]

Here's one featuring me and two friends (MaSean and Halifax (not real names obviously)):

Me: Who's your best character and why?
MaSean: Either Link or Pikachu, cos I've used them most and become accustomed to them.
Me: Same with me for Fox
Halifax: Captain Falcon because of Falcon Punch
Me & MaSean: ...So?
Halifax: Easy kill with one button.
Me: If you can hit me once with a Falcon Punch, I will give you my Gamecube

***Next Saturday***
*Start of Match - All 3 of us FFA*

Halifax: Here it comes...
(I stand next to C.F while he charges, then shield-grab when he punches)
Halifax: Ha! I hit you!
Me: Then why don't I have damage?
Halifax: You cheated! You can't do that to me!
Me: Why not?
MaSean: Cos he's so c**p that we can't hit him until he learns what the A button does.
(Me and MaSean laugh as we gang up on Halifax)

Not really n00b-ish but still funny.