Unattractive Girls & Asexuality

[Ramen King]

Link to original post: [drupal=5368]Unattractive Girls[/drupal]



Some people I talk to tell me that they'd never hang out with an unattractive girl that he suspected had feelings for him.

I dunno about other people, but I've been in that situation. I don't roll that way, but it sure is flattering in my opinion.

Short blog is short.

 

[#HBC | Acrostic]

Man, I don't even know where to begin.

 

[#HBC | Joker]

I've been in this situation before, and it makes me extremely uncomfortable, mostly because she is always hugging me and touching me inappropriately. I also can't just tell her to **** off and quit it, because she's kind of... special needs. I don't see her that often (she's the daughter of one of the people who helps run lock-in events at the lasertag center I frequent) but it's always really awkward when I do.

 

[#HBC | Acrostic]

Alright first of all, I'm assuming that some of your friends is really this one guy? Or is this one guy like Legion and has multiple people inside him so you refer to him as a collective? Second, I don't exactly know what your friend mean by refusing to "hang out." Are we talking like, avoiding a friendly hang out or refusing to go on a date with them? Also, if you don't roll that way, then am I correct in assuming that you hang out with unattractive girls that have feelings for you? And I don't really understand how it is flattering to ignore the a girl that is pining for someone, but I'm assuming you either meant that it's flattering to have a girl pine for you OR this was supposed to be some sarcastic comment directed at your friend since you don't roll that way ???

 

[Ramen King]

many persons
hang out as friend
i dont roll with dating them cause im not attracted to them

 

[#HBC | Acrostic]

Do you actually know of someone rational, who dated a girl that they were not attracted to at all, without having an ulterior motive.

 

[Luigitoilet]

isn't this a copy/paste from some other thread? only that old thread was about gay guys i think.

 

[Jam Stunna]

Do you actually know of someone rational, who dated a girl that they were not attracted to at all, without having an ulterior motive.

A few of the posts I've read around here have led me to believe that some people consider it morally wrong to take a woman's attractiveness into consideration when deciding to date.

 

[infiniteV115]

isn't this a copy/paste from some other thread? only that old thread was about gay guys i think.

Yeah I'm pretty sure it is.

 

[-DR3W-]

A few of the posts I've read around here have led me to believe that some people consider it morally wrong to take a woman's attractiveness into consideration when deciding to date.

People say that all the time, but in reality many probably don't think that way. Physical attraction is so important to so many people (including myself) ... I have someone who I don't find attractive who likes me, and whenever she talks to me or hugs me it's just ****ing annoying.

 

[Teran]

I think it's just people don't like to hang around people with crushes on them if they don't find them attractive because it's awkward. Pretty sure it's a something both genders are guilty of, as well as gay/lesbian etc

 

[ndayday]

It can be awkward even if they are attractive if the feeling isn't mutual. I mean that's just my experience. There's a lot more going in to a (possible) relationship than looks, even if they are important.

 

[Meru.]

It can be awkward even if they are attractive if the feeling isn't mutual. I mean that's just my experience. There's a lot more going in to a (possible) relationship than looks, even if they are important.

Definitely. A friend of mine liked a girl, who was also a very good friend, and the guy was quite attractive to girls and he was also friendly in general. However, somehow he has the social skills of a donkey so him trying to get the was funny and a bit awkward at first but it quickly turned to annoying and extremely awkward. I had to save her a lot of times when he tried to hit on her and since she didn't want to deny his requests to hang out (although later she just had to), she always tried to avoid being alone with him by e.g. suggesting to also go with 'other people'.

Although looks and physical attraction certainly important, you'll need more than that. On the other hand, I do think that sometimes you can see through unattractiveness if someone has a kind of trait you like. "Suddenly she is not that unattractive anymore..." I must say that the latter seems to go more often for girls 'suddenly' looking past atrractiveness than it goes for guys. Guys tend to look more at looks from my experience.

 

[Vinylic.]

I think this is also a part of why I'm asexual.

I don't really have to deal with those kinds of situations, including if I'm the guy who starts it.
I could still encounter that problem whenever, but it's pretty rare at this point.

I mean, I ain't as attractive as anyone. I'm just...neutral.

 

[Shorts]

I think this is also a part of why I'm asexual.

Do you legitimately consider yourself asexual?

 

[Vinylic.]

I'm asexual because I considered and then decided to be asexual.

So yeah.

 

[Exdeath]

I'm asexual because I considered and then decided to be asexual.

So yeah.

Some schools of thought would consider that celibacy, which is furthered by the often dually-held belief that one's sexual orientation is not a choice.

 

[Ussi]

Does that mean you are gonna have a test tube baby? Or clone yourself?

As for the thread topic: reject the girl/guy, do not hang out with them for 3-6 months (let them get over you) then begin the friendship anew

 

[ndayday]

Does that mean you are gonna have a test tube baby? Or clone yourself?

As for the thread topic: reject the girl/guy, do not hang out with them for 3-6 months (let them get over you) then begin the friendship anew

Asexuality is different for humans and potatoes.

 

[Vinylic.]

Some schools of thought would consider that celibacy, which is furthered by the often dually-held belief that one's sexual orientation is not a choice.

That's pretty interesting. I would guess that many people would be asexual, probably for that reason.

 

[Ramen King]

Aint it fascinating? Asexuality is simply lack of sexual attraction. Asexual reproduction is self-reproduction/cloning/reproduction without sex. The two terms are mutually exclusive.

I have to say I was not expecting these sort of responses. I have actually been in the situation. I just make it hell of clear that I'm not attracted to them nor will I ever reciprocate their feelings. Whether they would like to remain friends is up to them. If one can simply be clear about that, it shouldn't be a problem. The problem arises when people don't make their relation and the possibilities between their relationship clear.

It's mad hard for someone to get control, imprison, or do away with their feelings, but it is possible to do so if they genuinely value that persons friendship. If that person can't do away with that, then yeah, the two of you should stop hanging out, at least for a while as Ussi said. But do just assume that they cannot and to disband a friendship because of that is a bit self conceited.

 

[Spelt]

I'm asexual because I considered and then decided to be asexual.

So yeah.

I cannot describe in words, how stupid this post is.

Congratulations, you've outdone yourself.

 

[Pachinkosam]

And here i was thinking im stupid.

 

[Pyra]

I'm asexual because I considered and then decided to be asexual.

So yeah.

If asexuality is just another way of saying you're not attracted to anyone, why do people think referring to it as a kind of sexual preference makes them different from people apathetic to relationships?

Not trying to offend or anything, but chances are I did by asking a question oh no

 

[GwJ]

Sorry, jumping in without reading the rest of the thread so don't hate on me if I'm now off-topic.

I think unattractive is the wrong word. I wouldn't want to hang out with a girl attracted to me when I am not just not attracted to her, but unattracted to her. I know I used the same word, but I changed the context.

It gets a little awkward when you're with someone you just don't like and you know they really like you. Unfortunately, it's happened to me a lot and it sucks.

 

[Exdeath]

If asexuality is just another way of saying you're not attracted to anyone, why do people think referring to it as a kind of sexual preference makes them different from people apathetic to relationships?

Not trying to offend or anything, but chances are I did by asking a question oh no

Aint it fascinating? Asexuality is simply lack of sexual attraction.

While this can be a way to describe human asexuality, I would say that the best way to describe it is a sexual attraction to a gender that does not exist, rather than a lack of attraction. Some may not be attracted to a particular gender, however they can become sexually attracted to a person. Admittedly, this can be a moot point depending on your particular view of the fluidity of sexuality.

I cannot describe in words, how stupid this post is.

Congratulations, you've outdone yourself.

While it's entirely possible that he's mistaken, I personally believe that it is indeed possible to be conditioned to a sexual preference. As such, it was hardly a stupid post from my perspective.

 

[Holder of the Heel]

Yeah, you don't just go, "Oh, hey, I'm asexual because reasons." If you're asexual, you have some biological ****. Same reason why people are straight or gay, they have some biological **** going on.

You could say that you are either not romantically interested in anyone, or that you aren't particularly physically attracted to your friends or acquaintances (highly unlikely unless you know practically no one and they are all pretty unattractive).

 

[Ramen King]

I cannot describe in words, how stupid this post is.

Congratulations, you've outdone yourself.

The irony of this post. **** off. Vinyl is a homie.

While this can be a way to describe human asexuality, I would say that the best way to describe it is a sexual attraction to a gender that does not exist, rather than a lack of attraction. Some may not be attracted to a particular gender, however they can become sexually attracted to a person. Admittedly, this can be a moot point depending on your particular view of the fluidity of sexuality.

I'd definitely have to disagree in that being the best way to describe it. But you're correct with your last statement. Many sexual orientation terms lack a concrete definition since there is such a large spectrum within each.

For example some people consider themselves bi-sexual and some people consider themselves pan-sexual. They can mean the exact same thing but each individual tends to define them in a way they feel best applies to them.

With that being said, being asexual doesn't just put you in a confined category. There are people who simply lack sexual attraction and there are those who, as you said, may become sexually attracted to an individual.

 

[Vinylic.]

If asexuality is just another way of saying you're not attracted to anyone, why do people think referring to it as a kind of sexual preference makes them different from people apathetic to relationships?

Not trying to offend or anything, but chances are I did by asking a question oh no

People will decide to become asexual because they don't want relationships, and then others will to because of how uninterested they are in women, men and maybe transgenders (lol).

I'm not trying to make it as an excuse to not be in a relationship, I'm actually making it as an excuse to not deal with the problem as I'm uninterested. I can still be friends with that girl who likes me.

If I were to make this more legit, I have met so many women at my age. Some would like and others would be friends.

Out of all those girls, I've never bothered to ask them out because I wanna do some other things I like more.

Read comic books and play vidja games, for example.

EDIT:

LMAO. Attraction to a gender that doesn't exist?

 

[Exdeath]

The irony of this post. **** off. Vinyl is a homie.
I'd definitely have to disagree in that being the best way to describe it. But you're correct with your last statement. Many sexual orientation terms lack a concrete definition since there is such a large spectrum within each.

For example some people consider themselves bi-sexual and some people consider themselves pan-sexual. They can mean the exact same thing but each individual tends to define them in a way they feel best applies to them.

With that being said, being asexual doesn't just put you in a confined category. There are people who simply lack sexual attraction and there are those who, as you said, may become sexually attracted to an individual.

I use that as a way to describe it to people who don't understand the difference between lacking initial sexual attraction (e.g. gender or appearance) and lacking sexual urges. Furthermore, just referring to it as reverse-bisexuality fails to address aberrations such as bestiality.

 

[Holder of the Heel]

In that case it only means that you are romantically and sexually disinterested, not that you are biologically unattracted to either sex. By your definition, I'd be asexual as well, because honestly dealing with another person is low on my priorities, and having any "physical relations" would only appeal to me if I had no interest in doing anything else at that moment or to acquiesce the other person if I were to have one.

 

[Vinylic.]

Now, If a person who's asexual does have a sexual urge, they would probably do it with a friend who has benefits.
So if they did it, would he or she still be asexual?

 

[Shorts]

People who are asexual can still engage in sex. I do know that. So, yeah, if they are REALLY asexual, and just not into relationships, I would say yes.

But I don't know much about asexuality beyond that, so.

 

[Exdeath]

Now, If a person who's asexual does would have a sexual urge.
They would probably have a friend with benefits.
So if they did it, would they still be asexual?

An Example: Cultural values of homosexuality aside, an asexual male and a heterosexual male will theoretically have equal interest in having sexual relations with a male friend. Would you have sex with one of the male Smashers in Orlando just because you have sexual urges?

 

[Holder of the Heel]

Any asexual individual having sex would necessarily be doing it for motives ulterior to sexual urges/desires. In fact, by definition, an asexual person would have some difficulty having sex in the sense that it is the attraction that... "allows" for sex to work, shall we say, to avoid any word usage that might be considered "inappropriate" for our young and sensitive smashers out there.

 

[Vinylic.]

Exdeath, I'm not gay, so nuh-uh.I mean, I don't have any interest, but I do perspective that I don't really want to be doing something like that, lolol.

So you're saying that an asexual individual can do it without the attraction of that other individual?

 

[ndayday]

Like you guys were saying, it's a wide spectrum. As an example, technically an asexual person could want to have sex for the sole purpose of having kids.

 

[Shorts]

So you're saying that an asexual individual can do it without the attraction of that other individual?

About as easily as I can bang a girl. It's possible. That's what I think anyways. Been forever since I've read up on asexuality.

Also, not gay, or straight. Right?

 

[Exdeath]

Like you guys were saying, it's a wide spectrum. As an example, technically an asexual person could want to have sex for the sole purpose of having kids.

About as easily as I can bang a girl. It's possible. That's what I think anyways. Been forever since I've read up on asexuality.

Also, not gay, or straight. Right?

This is correct.

Exdeath, I'm not gay, so nuh-uh.
So you're saying that an asexual individual can do it without the attraction of that other individual?

My point was that, provided that you don't bear a stigma against homosexuality (which, quite frankly, is unlikely), then it would be no less difficult for you, as an asexual, to have sex with a female.

Sexual attraction is not necessary for sex.

 

[Vinylic.]

Good point there then, ex.

And about gay, straight stuff. I would say straight-asexual.

I mean, even if I don't have interest, I don't feel right at all about kissing a male. It's seriously frikin' weird, lmao. No offense, but it's how I feel, you know? It's more of a thought, so it doesn't really refer to what I am, I think.