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[Professor Pumpkaboo]

So yeah this was Noipoi’s Animal corner.

Tune in next week.

Have you seen that video of a koala getting kicked out of his tree and just ****ing crying about it?

 

[Deleted member]

Me: "About 985 kg/m³ why do you ask?"

Checks out actually, always did suspect you were a human.

 

[Pyra]

No it wasn't, jokes are meant to be funny

Real talk I get mega annoyed whenever I hear this irl

 

[Cutie Gwen]

This is funny and sad at the same time.
I am sorry you had to go through this.
Humans are very strange.

I actually really like this because usually I have a policy not to swear when customers are near. A colleague saw what happened and laughed while I kept mumbling "****ing prick, who the **** does this asshole think he is, piece of ****" in the store at one of the busiest aisles. And I never even got reported or anything for any of this. Probably because I wasn't mumbling in Dutch and the dumbasses don't understand English

 

[Deleted member]

Customers in a nutshell:
"I can not eat this, this has 20 seeds! I want 19.25 seeds in my burger!"

 

[praline]

How???
Did he think those were cucumbers?

You never know how dumb people can be until you work retail.

Oooooh you reminded me of the time I was ****ing done with a customer's ****.
"Hey, can you help me find the rice pudding?"
Sure, it's over here
*We walk to the rice pudding*
Is this one the one you want sir?
"No, that's the wrong thing"
Oh, perhaps this one? Or do you have a brand preferred?
"No, it's not that!"
Which one do you want then sir?
"I don't know, you don't ****ing have it apparently, disgraceful"
I'm sorr-
*Customer notices what he was looking for and grabs it*
"See? THIS one!" *in a highly aggressive tone*
Oh, my apologies, I was looking at the rice pudding because you said you wanted the RICE PUDDING and not the CHOCOLATE MOUSSE!
*complete silence*
Have a nice day

Another time years back my friend was filling bananas and he has a full pallet beside him and this customer squeezes in besides him and asks where the bananas are. Naturally the only reaction he can do is just laugh. The customer then walked away with a very pissed off expression.

 

[Deleted member]

Burgh: "So you finally arrive at my gym."
Me: "Dude what the **** why is this whole place full of bug nests!?"
Burgh: "It's my masterpiece!"
Me: "It's ****ing nasty, that's what it is."
Burgh: "It's a metaphor."
Me: "For what!?"
Burgh: "Coming out of your shell."
Me: "I don't get it?"
Burgh: "Coming out."
Me: "And what's up with all the rainbow paint splattered across the floor, this **** is still fresh."
Burgh: "How ****ing dense are you?"
Me: "About 985 kg/m³ why do you ask?"

Wait, did this actually happen?

 

[praline]

Wait, did this actually happen?

I doubt it literally happened to her

 

[Deleted member]

Wait, did this actually happen?

yeah the npcs gained sentience

 

[Gentlepanda]

Burgh: "So you finally arrive at my gym."

when you roll up at the boss arena

 

[Deleted member]

~Person with a minion shirt comes~
Customer: "Uhhh, I want some peanut butter."
Worker: "Okay, the peanut butter is here!"
Customer: "I want Jiffy, not Jif!"
Worker: "Jiffy does not exist, it is Jif."
Customer: "No, these are all the wrong company. It was Jiffy!"
Worker: "Here, go search in your phone. It is "Jif"."
Customer: "My teacher always said never trust Google."
Worker: -_-
Customer: "WOW, YOU PEOPLE ARE STUPID. LEARN TO LABEL THINGS CORRECTLY!!! I'M GOING TO ANOTHER STORE AND I'M TELLING YOUR BOSS ON YOU!"
Worker: -_-

 

[staindgrey]

Oooooh you reminded me of the time I was ****ing done with a customer's ****.
"Hey, can you help me find the rice pudding?"
Sure, it's over here
*We walk to the rice pudding*
Is this one the one you want sir?
"No, that's the wrong thing"
Oh, perhaps this one? Or do you have a brand preferred?
"No, it's not that!"
Which one do you want then sir?
"I don't know, you don't ****ing have it apparently, disgraceful"
I'm sorr-
*Customer notices what he was looking for and grabs it*
"See? THIS one!" *in a highly aggressive tone*
Oh, my apologies, I was looking at the rice pudding because you said you wanted the RICE PUDDING and not the CHOCOLATE MOUSSE!
*complete silence*
Have a nice day

Best customer story like that I've got:

A lady came into our store asking to see the Hawthorne sofa. So I took her to the one Hawthorne sofa we had on the floor.

"No, that's not the Hawthorne."
"...I'm sorry? Yes it is."
"No it's not."
"Maybe you're thinking of a different sofa model then? I assure you, we've only ever had one Hawthorne style, and this is it."
"No. It's not. Last time I was here it was something different. Maybe you have the wrong name."
"Ma'am, I was the one who named it."

She said the last time she was here the Hawthorne had arms. I explained that the Hawthorne is explicitly the only sofa we make that doesn't have arms. That's kind of its whole thing. She countered by saying it was different on the site, so she looked it up on her phone to prove me wrong. When she saw the picture on the site was the same as what was right in front of us, she said:

"Oh, well someone must have changed it. It was different before."
"Ma'am, I am the person who made our site from scratch. I was also involved in making and refining the prototype, and I personally chose the name. I can assure you there has only ever been one Hawthorne."
"Well it's wrong."

I remember the 'well it's wrong' so vividly because I had no idea how to respond. I went from wanting to help her find what she was looking for to wanting to just kick her out for being a stubborn jackass.

 

[Professor Pumpkaboo]

All my customers are dogs

 

[Kingslime304]

Reminder that TV Tropes thinks that Adult Link is still low tier in Ultimate.

 

[Cutie Gwen]

Best customer story like that I've got:

A lady came into our store asking to see the Hawthorne sofa. So I took her to the one Hawthorne sofa we had on the floor.

"No, that's not the Hawthorne."
"...I'm sorry? Yes it is."
"No it's not."
"Maybe you're thinking of a different sofa model then? I assure you, we've only ever had one Hawthorne style, and this is it."
"No. It's not. Last time I was here it was something different. Maybe you have the wrong name."
"Ma'am, I was the one who named it."

She said the last time she was here the Hawthorne had arms. I explained that the Hawthorne is explicitly the only sofa we make that doesn't have arms. That's kind of its whole thing. She countered by saying it was different on the site, so she looked it up on her phone to prove me wrong. When she saw the picture on the site was the same as what was right in front of us, she said:

"Oh, well someone must have changed it. It was different before."
"Ma'am, I am the person who made our site from scratch. I was also involved in making and refining the prototype, and I personally chose the name. I can assure you there has only ever been one Hawthorne."
"Well it's wrong."

I remember the 'well it's wrong' so vividly because I had no idea how to respond. I went from wanting to help her find what she was looking for to wanting to just kick her out for being a stubborn *******.

See I get a ton of customers like that but they often have the decency to go "Ohhhhh my mistake"
THEN THERE'S ASSHOLES WHO KEEP HOUNDING ME ABOUT IT I'M SORRY MADAM BUT THE PICTURE YOU HAVE IS OUTDATED THEY CHANGED THE PACKAGING AND WE STOPPED SELLING THIS 6 MONTHS AGO

 

[Deleted member]

Best customer story like that I've got:

A lady came into our store asking to see the Hawthorne sofa. So I took her to the one Hawthorne sofa we had on the floor.

"No, that's not the Hawthorne."
"...I'm sorry? Yes it is."
"No it's not."
"Maybe you're thinking of a different sofa model then? I assure you, we've only ever had one Hawthorne style, and this is it."
"No. It's not. Last time I was here it was something different. Maybe you have the wrong name."
"Ma'am, I was the one who named it."

She said the last time she was here the Hawthorne had arms. I explained that the Hawthorne is explicitly the only sofa we make that doesn't have arms. That's kind of its whole thing. She countered by saying it was different on the site, so she looked it up on her phone to prove me wrong. When she saw the picture on the site was the same as what was right in front of us, she said:

"Oh, well someone must have changed it. It was different before."
"Ma'am, I am the person who made our site from scratch. I was also involved in making and refining the prototype, and I personally chose the name. I can assure you there has only ever been one Hawthorne."
"Well it's wrong."

I remember the 'well it's wrong' so vividly because I had no idea how to respond. I went from wanting to help her find what she was looking for to wanting to just kick her out for being a stubborn *******.

real plot twist is that you were wrong, reality had simply changed against this lady

 

[SneakyLink]

I figured it out.

The direct keeps getting delayed so Cyn can become the best Smash player ever.

If there's no competition, then who's gonna oppose Cyn? No one, hence the delays.

 

[Deleted member]

Best customer story like that I've got:

A lady came into our store asking to see the Hawthorne sofa. So I took her to the one Hawthorne sofa we had on the floor.

"No, that's not the Hawthorne."
"...I'm sorry? Yes it is."
"No it's not."
"Maybe you're thinking of a different sofa model then? I assure you, we've only ever had one Hawthorne style, and this is it."
"No. It's not. Last time I was here it was something different. Maybe you have the wrong name."
"Ma'am, I was the one who named it."

She said the last time she was here the Hawthorne had arms. I explained that the Hawthorne is explicitly the only sofa we make that doesn't have arms. That's kind of its whole thing. She countered by saying it was different on the site, so she looked it up on her phone to prove me wrong. When she saw the picture on the site was the same as what was right in front of us, she said:

"Oh, well someone must have changed it. It was different before."
"Ma'am, I am the person who made our site from scratch. I was also involved in making and refining the prototype, and I personally chose the name. I can assure you there has only ever been one Hawthorne."
"Well it's wrong."

I remember the 'well it's wrong' so vividly because I had no idea how to respond. I went from wanting to help her find what she was looking for to wanting to just kick her out for being a stubborn *******.

Oh, I have so much stories like this where someone was stubborn, I could go on for hours.
I am sorry you had to deal with this.

 

[Deleted member]

So wait, how has the species not gone extinct after all this?

Divine intervention, probably. Can't think of any other way an animal that stupid hasn't died off completely.

 

[staindgrey]

See I get a ton of customers like that but they often have the decency to go "Ohhhhh my mistake"
THEN THERE'S ******** WHO KEEP HOUNDING ME ABOUT IT I'M SORRY MADAM BUT THE PICTURE YOU HAVE IS OUTDATED THEY CHANGED THE PACKAGING AND WE STOPPED SELLING THIS 6 MONTHS AGO

Right???

Another great one was a lady who claimed our site said we opened at 9am and she had been waiting outside for an hour. Nevermind the fact that the front door has our hours listed right on it, but I checked the site to make sure I hadn't made a mistake, then flipped the monitor around to let her see it said "10am", not 9am. Her response was, "Well, someone must've changed it."

RIGHT. YEAH. BECAUSE IN THE TIME I HAD IN BETWEEN UNLOCKING THE FRONT DOOR AND TALKING TO YOU, I LOGGED INTO THE BACKEND, EDITED THE HOURS OF OPERATION ON THE HOMEPAGE, ABOUT US PAGE, FOOTER AND FAQ, ALL TO SPITE YOU.

**** OFF.

 

[Cutie Gwen]

See I get a ton of customers like that but they often have the decency to go "Ohhhhh my mistake"
THEN THERE'S ******** WHO KEEP HOUNDING ME ABOUT IT I'M SORRY MADAM BUT THE PICTURE YOU HAVE IS OUTDATED THEY CHANGED THE PACKAGING AND WE STOPPED SELLING THIS 6 MONTHS AGO

TO ADD ON TO THIS
THEY AAAAAALWAYS THINK THEY'RE SOOOOOO CLEVER WHEN THEY GO "I got this here before, pretty sure it was just 2 weeks ago"
YES YOU GOT IT HERE BEFORE BECAUSE WE USED TO HAVE IT BUT I'VE BEEN WORKING HERE FOR NEARLY 2 YEARS SO I CAN ****ING ASSURE YOU WE DON'T SELL IT ANYMORE YOU ****ING HIMBO

 

[Raxxel]

I figured it out.

The direct keeps getting delayed so Cyn can become the best Smash player ever.

If there's no competition, then who's gonna oppose Cyn? No one, hence the delays.

Last time someone tried to be the best by default, the game got leaked early.

 

[Professor Pumpkaboo]

lol boy am I glad I am a dog walker. Dogs dont talk back to you or give attitude because once they do, they know the walks over

and worst of all they get no treat after the walk

 

[TheMightyP]

I like how in the poll, Merida from Brave isn't an answer.


You had 1 job...

 

[Cyn]

I figured it out.

The direct keeps getting delayed so Cyn can become the best Smash player ever.

If there's no competition, then who's gonna oppose Cyn? No one, hence the delays.

*Feels the internet suddenly turn against me*

 

[Deleted member]

Finally catched on, thread moves too fast in the morning.

I like how in the poll, Merida from Brave isn't an answer.


You had 1 job...

And I thought the one missing was:
"Brave is the friends we made along the way"

 

[PeridotGX]

Have you seen that video of a koala getting kicked out of his tree and just ****ing crying about it?

I looked it up, here it is.

I didn't think koalas sounded like that.

 

[SneakyLink]

Brave is secretly a forum user with the rank "Smash Brave".

 

[Metal Shop X]

Alright, time for me to go to Dreamland, good night everybody and thank you for the positif feedback on my latest sprite!^^

 

[Kingslime304]

I looked it up, here it is.

I didn't think koalas sounded like that.

What’s worse is that their fur is rough, so petting it isn’t really good.

 

[NonSpecificGuy]

I've exhausted the talk about why Disney probably would be problem for Sora before.

To put it simply. Disney may be "cool with it". They may say that Nomura can do whatever he wants with them. But it's telling when Sora can't even be playable in a FF game that he was already included in, and then was promptly eliminated from in later releases. I'm talking about World of Final Fantasy Maxima.

Disney may be "cool" with it but it's likely that they would ask for, at the very least, an unreasonable amount of royalties as per Disney's usual endeavors.

 

[Deleted member]

Customer: "I want a sofa."
Worker: "Okay, which sofa?"
Customer: "This one."
*Shows them google image*
Worker: "Hmm, we do not have this."
Customer: "OHH COME ON, I SAW IT."
Worker: "This is Walmart, of course we are not going to have it.
Customer: "OH, BUT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE IT. I CAME HERE FOR FOOD, AND I JUST WANTED A SOFA."
Worker: *Deep Breath*
"This is Walmart, you are not going to find the best sofas here."
Customer: "BUT WALMART IS A SUPERMARKET!!!"
Worker: "This sofa can be found on Amazon."
Customer: "I AM NOT PAYING $50,000 FOR THIS, YOU GOTTA HAVE IT CHEAPER. TODAY IS A SALE!"
Worker:
Customer: "YOU CLEARLY DON'T KNOW YOUR JOB, I AM GOING TO GO ASK SOMEONE ELSE."
*Other Worker says no*
Customer: "Is there a store nearby that has this?"
Worker: "That sofa is a very rare sofa, I do not think you would find this nearby."
Customer: "BUT I SAW IT! IT WAS RIGHT NEAR YOUR WEBSITE!"
Worker: "It was linked to Amazon, not our website."
Customer: "BUT IT WAS NEAR IT!!!"
Worker: That does not mean that we have it, though.
Customer: "You are clearly bad at your job."
Worker: "..."
Customer: "Tell me when the next big sale happens."
Worker: "Next month."
Customer: "I CAN'T WAIT THAT LONG!"
Worker: WE. DON'T. HAVE. IT.
Customer: "It was right near your website!"
Worker: "-_-"

 

[Professor Pumpkaboo]

I looked it up, here it is.

I didn't think koalas sounded like that.

He should of payed his rent.

 

[Kingslime304]

Hmmm, what picture should I make today in Ms Paint?

 

[staindgrey]

I like how in the poll, Merida from Brave isn't an answer.


You had 1 job...

You know, eventually my girl's going to get recognition in one of these polls.

How much ***ing braver do you need to be, goddamn.

 

[PeridotGX]

Hmmm, what picture should I make today in Ms Paint?

Mr. Burns purchasing a copy of Hyrule Warriors: Definitive Edition for Nintendo Switch.

 

[praline]

All my customers are dogs

And all dogs are good boys

 

[Cutie Gwen]

Oh, another story where I nearly lost my **** and threw hands with a grown ass man as a teenager
"Hello, do you have any raisin boxes yet?"
You mean the ones we keep at the sweets aisle? I'm afraid not, yesterday was Saint Maarten (Basically Halloween) and we haven't gotten much cargo so far today
"Excuse me?! That was YESTERDAY!"
Sir it's 9AM we don't usually get these until 12 and I already saw we got nothing from this aisle so far
"WHAT WILL ME DAUGHTER HAVE TO EAT AS HER SCHOOL SNACK THEN? YOU PIECE OF **** THAT WAS YESTERDAY WHY DON'T YOU HAVE IT NOW?!"
Because the cargo hasn't come in yet and it won't for another few hours
"GOD YOU'RE ****ING USELESS. NOW MY DAUGHTER'S GOING TO STARVE!"

Deadass nearly yelled 'IF YOU GIVE YOUR DAUGHTER RAISIN BOXES AS A SCHOOL SNACK YOU DON'T ****ING LOVE HER" at that asshole

 

[staindgrey]

And all dogs are good boys

Except for the girls.

They're good girls.

 

[Guybrush20X6]

And all dogs are good boys

Wrong!

*Pitchforks raise*

Some are good girls.

*Pitchforks go down*

Edit: 'd