The_Altrox's Brawl Tier of Manliness: Version 2

[Pelikinesis]

But if Pit's balls haven't dropped yet, how gay could he possibly be? *Does a barrel roll to avoid blame for inevitable Pit hate/lovefest*

In other news, Altrox, I think you should add in the characters cut out from Melee. You could have them as honorable mentions and therefore not canonically part of the list, but you could at least put them where they WOULD be which would encourage more debate with the addition of characters.

For example, Mario and Dr. Mario. They have the same moves, although some effects are different. The main area of concern lands on occupation. Which job is manlier, Plumber, or Doctor?

Compare Young Link and Toon Link. I think Young Link wins because his taunt is manlier than all three of Toon Link's taunts combined.

Etc, etc.

I'm comparing blatant clones because I believe that they would be right next to the other clone character, and the only real question is which one is higher.

 

[Donut!]

Mr. Game and Watch for Chuck Norris Tier for a few reasons:

1. He can sport not only 1, but 2 hammers.
2. He will LIGHT YOU ON FIRE.
3. Gdubs only eats fried food, and if you try to stop him he will throw it at you.
4. If you in fact penetrate his wall of greasy deliciousness, he will beat you silly with any number of objects including but not limited to fishbowls, turtles, flags, keys, bells and buckets of hot oil. This level of resourcefulness and love of beating people with animals is truly quite manly.
5. He has the power to generate lightning, turn you into a block of ice, electrocute you, knock you clear off the map, or even make a shiny delicious apple appear out of thin air: ALL WITH THE SAME MOVE.
6. He has the ability to turn into a FLYING OCTOPUS, or as I like to call it; a Floctopus. The last time I checked octopi could not survive out of water, but G&W has once again managed to do the impossible.
7. He has unparalleled juggling skills, hinting at the fact that he spent his childhood traveling with a circus.
8. He carries a parachute with him at all times just in case he finds a nice spot to do some base jumping.

I think he belongs right underneath, but not that far undeneath, Falcon.

Oh and pink Falcon is the manliest Falcon of them all.

 

[FB Dj_Iskascribble]

I call shenanigans.

Can I bring the brooms?

 

[fromundaman]

I can't multi-quote on a PDA, so I'm going to just answer a bunch of stuff at once...

Yes, we've already discussed Marth (which ironically my PDA's autocomplete tells me is actually Martha.), but I wouldn't say we agreed...

Those are some good arguments for Gdubs. I have to agree with that post (maybe not as high as Falcon, but still...).



Speaking of which, Pink Falcon is without a doubt the most awesome, but manly seems to be a stretch. He's maybe only a little more manly than Fabuknight.

 

[SexTornado]

Charizard and dk should be higher.

 

[Plum]

I can't multi-quote on a PDA, so I'm going to just answer a bunch of stuff at once...

Yes, we've already discussed Marth (which ironically my PDA's autocomplete tells me is actually Martha.), but I wouldn't say we agreed...

Those are some good arguments for Gdubs. I have to agree with that post (maybe not as high as Falcon, but still...).



Speaking of which, Pink Falcon is without a doubt the most awesome, but manly seems to be a stretch. He's maybe only a little more manly than Fabuknight.

Pink Falcon is THE most manly character in the game.
I would say it goes Blood Falcon < Falcon < Pink Falcon
Why? Well the Blood Falcon costume is manly, but not as manly as the regular Falcon simply because he get's beaten down by him. You can't be more manly than a man who regularly beat you down. And Pink Falcon, let's be honest it does take a real man to where pink. I'm not talking about the douche bags wearing pink Abercrombi or American Eagle. I'm talking about a REAL man. I would like to see you try to tell him it isn't manly.

Now Pink Meta Knight? Press down taunt. Enough said. A normal Meta Knight is challenging you. Pink Meta Knight is asking for something else.

I would say that Ike and Charizard are more manly than King Dedede.
Yes Dedede is a king, yes he carries a massive mallet but he is a penguin. Look at the emperor penguin. The man takes care of the egg. Not too manly.
Ike on the other hand leads a military force that doesn't consist of Waddles and wields his two hander with one hand. Dedede can't match that one. He will completely ignore incoming attacks to strike you down.
And Charizard is a dragon. And not a girly Chinese dragon. He is a legit fire breathing winged attack force. Penguins can't fly. Dedede doesn't breath fire, and he needs a hammer to smash things rather than just using his brute strength and his head.

 

[Donut!]

Those are some good arguments for Gdubs. I have to agree with that post (maybe not as high as Falcon, but still...).



Speaking of which, Pink Falcon is without a doubt the most awesome, but manly seems to be a stretch. He's maybe only a little more manly than Fabuknight.

Thank you.

And yes maybe awesome is a more appropriate description for The Pink Falcon. I usually only use pink alts when I play with characters, especially D3, who looks quite smashing in his pink robe.

Interestingly enough, I never use Peach's pink outfit...hmm. Daisy FTWz

Oh and a note on Kirby, by eating Snake he gains the ability to instantly generate a perfectly badass amount of facial hair and a sweet bandana (see I Am Plum avatar for reference), which is a huge boost for his ranking, although he is pretty high already IMO.

Also I forgot to look but I'll say it anyways, ICs bawl their eyes out every time they lose.
Not cool.

 

[fromundaman]

Too true. Kirby's facial hair is incredibly manly. The only thing is, it isn't his. He just steals Snake's exess hair and fashions it into a perfectly badass beard.

 

[pokesmashfighter]

Pit killed Medusa before even "developing", Imagine what he could pull off as a full grown man.

He also fought the GRIM REAPER regularly in his games.

He has wings. Which means he can fly. Which means he can access a whole set of area that you can't. You wish you knew what he was doing up there in the sky.

He was in solitary for 15 years. And he is still sane. Any normal human would probably go mad with nobody but himself for 15 years. But not Pit.

Pit has a Bow, and he has the mental ability to CONTROL THE PATH OF HIS ARROWS.

If He doesn't feel like using his bow, He decides to break it in half and use twin daggers to fight you head on.

 

[The_Altrox]

Pit killed Medusa before even "developing", Imagine what he could pull off as a full grown man.

He also fought the GRIM REAPER regularly in his games.

He has wings. Which means he can fly. Which means he can access a whole set of area that you can't. You wish you knew what he was doing up there in the sky.

He was in solitary for 15 years. And he is still sane. Any normal human would probably go mad with nobody but himself for 15 years. But not Pit.

Pit has a Bow, and he has the mental ability to CONTROL THE PATH OF HIS ARROWS.

If He doesn't feel like using his bow, He decides to break it in half and use twin daggers to fight you head on.

Oh noes. The Furious Robot has Returned

 

[pokesmashfighter]

Oh noes. The Furious Robot has Returned

That dude from the first thread? Nah, I can respect your opinion, I mean, It's your list, Not mine.

 

[The_Altrox]

That dude from the first thread? Nah, I can respect your opinion, I mean, It's your list, Not mine.

Doubting Thomas be I

 

[pokesmashfighter]

Doubting Thomas be I

Mind telling what that means?

 

[The_Altrox]

Mind telling what that means?

Thomas, a disciple of that Jesus guy, doubted Jesus had returned until he saw the holes in his wrists due to the nails they put in. Because he doubted, he is reffered to as "Doubting Thomas"

 

[Man of Popsicle]

Bowser sucks, he's been after the same woman almost 20 years, he's tone deaf, he loses to a druggy italian plumber consistently, he blows up the bridge to his own door, leaving him trapped with no food or water, and has the lamest cronies.

Marth is a fag. He wears a tiara and has a feminine voice.

Metaknight is gay too. He never fights kirby until squeak squad, and has terribly emasculine taunts.

Ness. He stands up to the police, beats teenage gangsters with a baseball bat, fights the incarnation of all evil, and can spawn fire and electricity form his fingertips. The only thing he ever eats when he's at home is steak, and he leaves home to save the world with a cracked bat.
And he's the only reason we have SMAAAAAAAAASH!!!

 

[The_Altrox]

Bowser sucks, he's been after the same woman almost 20 years

It's called commitment. Nobody is perfect. But we also have reason to believe he has been banging the same woman for 20 years. Why we assume this?

Bowser kidnaps Peach
Bowser has kids in the next game

and he has a million kids. Hmm...

 

[Kiyuzoh]

G&W's lust for battle caused him to transcend DIMENSIONS, only to fight endlessly. I can see why he isn't high, but that type of commitment for fighting other people lets him deserve some extra points there. Once you leave your realm of reality just to kill people, you've reached a new level in manliness.

As for Ganondorf, he's Captain Falcon's father. If he is Captain Falcon's father, than we can safely assume that Ganon's sperm is at the level of manliness that is Captain Falcon. That means that Ganondorf's crotch is equal with Captain Falcon, but if you factor in every other part of his body, than you can safely assume, with this logic, that Ganondorf is simply manlier than Captain Falcon.

Also, Captain Falcon dies, and is replaced by Rick Wheeler, who is like a fraction of manliness that Captain Falcon used to be. Ganondorf is immortal, and that has to count for something, right? However, since the whole "Ganon is Falcon's father" thing isn't true, I still stand by these claims, but I can see why this wouldn't change Ganondorf's position in this list.

Before I forget, Big Boss should take Snake's place, and Snake should move under Bowser.

 

[Super_Sonic8677]

Metaknight also fought Kirby in Nightmare in dreamland.

Pit is a boy. A boy is NOT a MAN
I don't hate that he is a boy. Though he is an annoying boy, he is simply NOT A MAN. When he becomes a man, we can get back to him.

Marth is feminine acting as far as his manersims are. His body is slender and small. NOT manly. He doen't wear a tiara to conceal manliness. He wears it for his dead sister.

Falcon is best. No one can stand upto his mighty manlyness except for Norris himself.

The furious robot seems more like a furious troll to me.

Sonic has Steak and does his best with his poor underbuilt body to show Falcon his moves. He kicked Shadow's *** in SA2 if you play through as Sonic and fights giant contraptions built by a crazy doctor FOR THE LULZ that's manly right there.

Sonic should at least be on the somewhat manly tier

lastly lol @ 2 manly lists and people taking them both too **** seriously.