The_Altrox's Brawl Tier of Manliness: Version 2

[The_Altrox]

Link to original post: [drupal=1123]The_Altrox's Brawl Tier of Manliness: Version 2[/drupal]



K, PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING!
And if anybody brings up a "Martha should be lower on the list" comment or anything similar, I will ignore everything you post.


MANLINESS TIER

Chuck Norris Rank
Captain Falcon
Snake
Bowser

Very Manly Rank
Ganondorf
King Dedede
Ike
Charizard
Donkey Kong
Lucario

Rather Manly Rank
Wario
Marth
Wolf
Meta Kinght

Somewhat Manly
Kirby
Falco
Jigglypuff
Mr. Game & Watch
Olimar
Mario
Luigi
Link

Meh Rank
Fox
Samus
Ivysaur
Zero Suit Samus
R.O.B.
Shiek
Sonic

Almost Womanly Rank
Toon Link
Ness
Squitle
Popo
Diddy Kong
Pikachu
Lucas
Yoshi
Nana
Pokemon Trainer
Peach
Zelda

NOT AT ALL RANK
Pit


Explanations!!!

Captain Falcon: Have you not seen Falcon Punch? Have You not seen the knee? This guy is the epitome of man, and I don't wanna hear about priority, or any of that crap, cause he is the guy. Deal haterz.

Snake: Pretty badass. If it weren't for Falcon, he'd be top... It always seems like he doesn't quite cut it on any Brawl tier list...

Bowser: Spikey shell, and flame will make the manliest of men pee themselves. He even get's a suicide move. THAT'S PURE DEVOTION TO YOUR JOB PEOPLE! Dying for what you love to do is pretty extreme. And manly.

Ganondorf: Warlock Punch outs him pretty high. Not to mention he chooses not to use his sword but fight with his bare hands. See Bowser on suicide moves.

King Dedede: Hammers are just cool. They represent manly sterotypes like building things. The King also has lots of girth which is really muscle he choose to where humbly. That's pretty cool if ya ask me. And really. It don't matter he rules fream land. Take over what you got.

Ike: Simply because you'll get no sympathy from him. Not to mention he uses a two handed sword in one hand. The guy is a god in human form.

Charizard: You think your tough crushing a can on your head? Try crushing a boulder on your head son, and then you can talk.

Donkey Kong: A muscular ape wearing a tie but not under the man's control is a pretty big statement. Pure power FTW!!!

Lucario: The little guy seems out of place among heavy weights. But considering part of his game is taking damage to get stronger is pretty tough. Aura makes a little booy into a big man.

Wario: He's a pure man. He does what he wants when he wants too, and farts in public without caring... okay, that last part might constitute for him being childish. He also looses points for eating his bike. While that seems hardcore, it is absolutely disgusting that he eats his pride and joy like that. Shameful.

Marth: I can explain this!!! People say Marth isn't manly, but they're liars!!! Even the guy who made those youtube videos about Brawling like a man. Why is Marth manly? Well, first off, look at his fiance (no pic ). She is hot. Only a real man could score that. Secondly I'll compare him to this pokemon. Why Machoke? You know what the belt is for? Pokedex says it's very heavy so he doesn't go out of contol. Marth's tiarra is similar. It keeps his manliness at normal level. In fact, when Marth Final smash's the tiarra moves a little off his head (no pic again) and he OHKO's the opponent. If you don't think that's manly, get help. Now.

Wolf: He's pretty manly, and his voice is sweet. The eye patch though can be interpreted two ways though. On one hand, it can be seen as asweet pirate like clothing. On the other hand, it's like a soap opera guy's eyepatch... NOT MANLY! So he loses score.

Meta Kinght: The voice is cool, but his brokeness kills his score some. Still a pretty tough guy. Respect him.

Kirby: He's sphere shaped. Sphere shaped things are manly. And he carries a hammer. See Dedede on why that's important.

Falco: He's passionate about his bread. And real men are very passionate about they're food. Plus, he's got a brooklyn accent.

Jigglypuff: She's sphere shaped like Kirby. And she does what she wants like Wario. But she loses points because she cries when she gets smashed out.

Mr. Game & Watch: He has the word "Mr." in his name, implying manliness. But I can't really go into depth on this one.

Olimar: You know what's manly? Being a general. Being able to control your soldiers is repectable. Olimar takes it to the next level. He fights with his pikmin and suffers with them. Hardcore.

Mario: Average Joe really. Still pretty tough. And he get's a cape, and capes are cool.

Luigi: Mustache. It's better than Mario's. There. Said and done. But people disagree, so...

Link: Knows how to use a sword and bombs. Pretty experienced dude. Give that guy a klondike bar.

Fox: He really isn't outstanding. He's just kinda there now on this tier and the Brawl Tier. Sorry Fox mains.

Samus: Seriously, she's tough. You gotta have balls of some sort to wear a suit like that. But she's still a girl, so she loses points.

Ivysaur: Flowers are usually not manly. But he looks mean in the face, so I give credit.

Zero Suit Samus: Loses points for that sexy, revealing skin-tight suit, but she is pretty hardcore in what she does along with high tier characters on thsi list. If she wore more clothes, she might be higher.

R.O.B.: Not really a man at all. But has qualities. Laser beams are pretty nice point wise.

Shiek: Pretty hardcore as well, but nothing special. Not much to say here.

Sonic: Seriously, if your gonna gloat like taht Sonic, at least know how to doggy paddle or something. Ego is pretty big for a guy who can't swim.

Toon Link: Has Linkl qualities, but less of them. Give him a few years, and then maybe...

Ness: Nice toys, but he's still a little kid with a whiney voice. Maybe when your older.

Squitle: Not that he isn't manly, but he really has little going for him. But He does some tough stuff even though he's little.

Popo: Though he has a hammer, he relies to much on Nana... who is a girl.

Diddy Kong: He uses lots of bananas. and you know what that implies...

Pikachu: Relies too much on lighting. Maybe if he wasn't so cute, he'd be a bit higher.

Lucas: See Ness. But he's worse. And I swear, don't talk to me about the Mother 3 story line, because I don't want to hear it.

Yoshi: Though he eats things live, he lays eggs. Men should not lay eggs. I like Yoshi, but he's low...

Nana: Behind every great man is a great woman. But this isn't a womanly tier. So Nana is pretty far down, even with the hammer.

Pokemon Trainer: Though he's a general like Olimar, he doesn't fight with them. Not cool. Also, his American voice bugs me. If he kept the Japanese voice, he'd be higher.

Peach: The dress, voice, and using her butt in such a sexy manner of attacking takes her point value. But she gains some back by being able to handle bomb-ombs: Bombs that make Link's bombs look like pop rocks.

Zelda: Nothing redeeming except her down B.

Pit: Watch Brawl Taunts 2. All I gotta say.


Opinions? If you give me good points, I may modify the list.

AND DON'T GIVE ME ONE STAR BECAUSE OUR FAVORITE CHARACTER IS LOW!

 

[PrepareYourself]

In my opinion, Kirby needs to be one below Falco. And Jigglypuff needs to be much lower.

Mr. Game & Watch is pretty manly too, if you ask me.

Otherwise it's pretty good.

 

[justaway12]

☻ You know you could have just revived your old thread but whatever I don't really care. ☻

☻ Pokemon trainer should go higher, even though he lets his Pokemon fight he travels to all sorts of dangerous places all by himself just so he can be the best thats pretty manly.☻​

 

[Dark Ryu]

Donkey kong should be higher.

 

[FB Dj_Iskascribble]

I bet marths engagement was set up by parents. Im sorry, but one of his best attacks is called DANCING blade. What man dances? Even with swords. That tiara is not like machokes belt. If he completely took it off he still couldnt lift Ikes sword.

☻ Pokemon trainer should go higher, even though he lets his Pokemon fight he travels to all sorts of dangerous places all by himself just so he can be the best thats pretty manly.☻​

but he is always waiting for the bus during the matches. The only reason fatigue is present is because he wants them to hurry up so it doesnt miss it, therefore getting home late and being grounded by his mother. Seriously who gets grounded when they control the most powerful pokemon in the world?

I think ganon should be higher than bowser. Sure bowser side-b is power-sex but he ganon chokes people with purple fire. And i would NEVER go anywhere near his legs.

Lucario reminds me too much of goku (see brawl taunts also they share the same voice) so waiting two weeks just for one attack to finish and it not even work completely is not manly.

Meta should be a little higher as he has a spanish accent which gets the ladies. =p

jiggly is not manly, she may do what she wants but she gets poked and goes flying. Plus what is manly about singing?

White and pink capton fabulous should have his own tier.

NEVER suggest zamus putting on more clothes.

Game and watch should be higher because he abuses aquatic animals.

Oli should be higher as he is the only one who gets any as he is married

 

[kr3wman]

Bad List, Again.

 

[The_Altrox]

I bet marths engagement was set up by parents. Im sorry, but one of his best attacks is called DANCING blade. What man dances? Even with swords. That tiara is not like machokes belt. If he completely took it off he still couldnt lift Ikes sword.

No proof try again. and even if it was, so what?

Historically, men have been dancing longer and more than women. In many counties, it's a sport, or war ritual, etc. Gain a bit of culture i n your life.

Says you. It works very similarly. We've already discussed this.

 

[The_Altrox]

Bad List, Again.

Somebody is butt hurt his favorite character isn't higher.

 

[justaway12]

@Dj Iskascirbble:No he doesn't get grouned they leave their home at 10 and Marths attack isn't the dancing blade. isn't it the dolphin blade? Dolphins are manly. Besides he is so secure in his masculinity he doesn't need to show it off (That's just how manly he is.)​

 

[FB Dj_Iskascribble]

Dolphin slash, and im not going to provide proof as im joking anyway, in my personal circle of smashers we bash marth, as the same for poke trainer. Its mostly inside joke related especially because dayton bus transit is very very poor. And in our society today men typically dont dance, except in poor attempts to get women in clubs, which may work if alchy is involved XD

And kh3wman's icon says cpt falcon so judging by that his fav char is at the top of the list

 

[The_Altrox]

I think ganon should be higher than bowser. Sure bowser side-b is power-sex but he ganon chokes people with purple fire. And i would NEVER go anywhere near his legs.

Lucario reminds me too much of goku (see brawl taunts also they share the same voice) so waiting two weeks just for one attack to finish and it not even work completely is not manly.

Meta should be a little higher as he has a spanish accent which gets the ladies. =p

jiggly is not manly, she may do what she wants but she gets poked and goes flying. Plus what is manly about singing?

White and pink capton fabulous should have his own tier.

NEVER suggest zamus putting on more clothes.

Game and watch should be higher because he abuses aquatic animals.

Oli should be higher as he is the only one who gets any as he is married



Bowser hits people with his butt

Lucario isn't Goku. Voice overs matter not. But either way, is Goku not manly now?

Jiggly is also sphere shaped. Very significant.

Zamus needs to wear clothes if she wants to move up. She's hot, but this isn't a hot list.

Abusing animals is manly now?

Olimar is hgh enough.

 

[Dark Ryu]

Sphere = feminish.
Everyone knows guys = squares. Dumbah.

 

[The_Altrox]

Sphere = feminish.
Everyone knows guys = squares. Dumbah.

Your balls are squares?

 

[FB Dj_Iskascribble]

I say goku loses points specifically for his two week long attack (that didnt work so he had to do it AGAIN), doest discredit in full but lowers a bit, I also never said to move zamus up, just that jokingly it was a bad suggestion. Hitting people with a turtle or making fish kill themselves over and over is at least better than being round (jiggly).
still feel that caption falcon needs his own tier, and ganon is the king of evil: intimidation=manly, also ganon is in true form a pig. Pigs roll in mud and get dirty and dirtyness is also associated with manlyness

I can agree with kirby hammer, but he inhales people. I dont think i have to go into further details.

 

[The_Altrox]

I can agree with kirby hammer, but he inhales people. I dont think i have to go into further details.

Eating things alive is bad? You see those men on National Geographic eating the fish while it's still flopping. If you ask me, you're reading into it too much.

 

[justaway12]

☻ I still think you should make Pokeman trainer higher.☻

☻@Dj Iskascribble: Bowser's whole body is weapon you can't go anywhere without finding something dangerous. ☻​

​

 

[FB Dj_Iskascribble]

He doest digest them however, and i had a different meaning in mind when i mentioned inhale but im not going into it, not really reading into it alot this was just a fun thread to me so i had to pick at it

yea but im much more terrified of being stomped on

 

[justaway12]

☻What you don't think Bowser can stomp you? have you seen him? he is the heaviest character in brawl put your head under his feet or make him butt stomp you and you'll see if he can or can't stomp you.☻​

​

 

[Scott!]

Here we go again... :D

@ Bowser's whole body being a weapon, I submit Jigglypuff. Her body is also a weapon, and she is super-manly. The video about brawling like a man had this much correct. The Marth position is that of an unenlightened one, but he knows where it's at with Jigglypuff.

 

[Sonic Phantom]

Bowser does body slam...

 

[The furosious robot has left]

Pit's name is a metafor. he is a pit of hate. from haters. like you.

 

[The_Altrox]

Pit's name is a metafor. he is a pit of hate. from haters. like you.

I don't hate Pit. He's just not manly.

 

[The furosious robot has left]

I don't hate Pit. He's just not manly.

Yes, because a parody proves it all. (that being the only reason he is so low)

/sarcasm

 

[The_Altrox]

The book of lies contains truth. and really, the vid explains why. It isn't because of the video.

 

[fromundaman]

Bowser does body slam...

Some of us call it power sex/****...

I have SO much more to say on this subject, but well, I'm currently on my class break and don't have much time to post. I'll be back later this week.

 

[The furosious robot has left]

He fought medusa AS A KID.
He has twin blades. You know who else has twin blades? Kratos.
He has a bow made out of blades. You know who else has a bow made out of blades?Nobody. Because they cannot handle such awesomeness.

 

[Ice!]

Almost womanly Ness? c' mon man.

 

[justaway12]

Almost womanly Ness? c' mon man.

I guess it's because he is a kid I thought he was going to move up aswell.​

​

 

[Pwns with Pit]

I saw this title while heading for, well I don't know where I was heading.
I thought "Is he going to flame pit?"
Dang right you did. This other member is right. no need to hate.

 

[MarKO X]

Sonic should be higher, for a number of reasons.

1: http://www.smashboards.com/showthread.php?t=182198&highlight=Sonic: this is a thread that shows that Sonic was learning his Brawl moves from Captain Falcon. To be an understudy of Falcon has got to give Sonic more manly points.

2: Sonic might not be able to swim, but this has been blown waaaay out of proportion. He can still navigate in the water. And he run over it. Play his Genesis games.

3: You talk about swimming, but Link cant jump in more than half his games. So let's be real about manliness here.

4: He was in Sonic 3 & Knuckles. That was a very, very manly game.

5: Steak

 

[The furosious robot has left]

Captain Falcon: Have you not seen Falcon Punch? Have You not seen the knee? This guy is the epitome of man, and I don't wanna hear about priority, or any of that crap, cause he is the guy. Deal haterz.

hypocrite.

 

[Hive Mind]

sonic is mean without being like wario nor taking over the world like ganondorf. That's what puts him down.

Besides the Flash is like a billion times awesomer.

 

[justaway12]

Sonic should be higher, for a number of reasons.

1: http://www.smashboards.com/showthread.php?t=182198&highlight=Sonic: this is a thread that shows that Sonic was learning his Brawl moves from Captain Falcon. To be an understudy of Falcon has got to give Sonic more manly points.

He is not like Capt. Falcon he is a pretty bad student

2: Sonic might not be able to swim, but this has been blown waaaay out of proportion. He can still navigate in the water. And he run over it. Play his Genesis games.

In the water he can't breathe he just holds his breath I can do that.
When he stops running he should drown. Shouldn't he?He is not Jesus

3: You talk about swimming, but Link cant jump in more than half his games. So let's be real about manliness here.

But if he has jumped in one of his game it proves he can jump

4: He was in Sonic 3 & Knuckles. That was a very, very manly game.

Ehhh it was ok
5: Steak

....You got me there

☻Comments are in Plum.☻

☻EDIT: You got 1 star lol even after you put that note at the end .☻​

 

[LordoftheMorning]

Pretty good overall, except for jigglypuff, who plays like a panzy, and Pokemon Trainer, who is ultra-competitive and will stop at nothing to become a master. Competitiveness must be manly.

 

[fromundaman]

Seriously... this list fails.

Ganon... He should seriously be tied with CF. This thread proves it:
http://www.smashboards.com/showthread.php?t=219607


Sonic. Yeah, he's kind of a pansy hedgehog, and yeah, he hangs out with Knuckles, who is badass, but he also hangs with Tails, who is about as masculine as a Michael Jackson/Barney hybrid.
However, steak does make him pretty manly.

Nothing, and I say NOTHING can make Marth manly. He's so far in the closet he's made his way into Narnia. Seriously, a tiara to limit his strength? Guess what, if he takes it off, he gets the duel advantage of not being a pansy AND being stronger. Therefore, the tiara is obviously not like the belt. It's more of a 'pride' symbol. Admit it, Marth's fiance is only there as a cover.

Kirby? Not only does he suck, but he swallows too! (Most likely Marth for that matter.) At least D3 spits it out...



More later. Have to go now.

 

[Pelikinesis]

I'm starting to reconsider Bowser. How many times has he kidnapped Peach, and how many times has Mario taken her back?

He can't keep the ladies in check. I say he loses a few points of manliness for that, although I'm not going to suggest how that would affect the tier list if you agree.

 

[justaway12]

Seriously... this list fails.

Ganon... He should seriously be tied with CF. This thread proves it:
http://www.smashboards.com/showthread.php?t=219607


Sonic. Yeah, he's kind of a pansy hedgehog, and yeah, he hangs out with Knuckles, who is badass, but he also hangs with Tails, who is about as masculine as a Michael Jackson/Barney hybrid.
However, steak does make him pretty manly.

Steak does make him manly but wht do his friend have to do with it

Nothing, and I say NOTHING can make Marth manly. He's so far in the closet he's made his way into Narnia. Seriously, a tiara to limit his strength? Guess what, if he takes it off, he gets the duel advantage of not being a pansy AND being stronger. Therefore, the tiara is obviously not like the belt. It's more of a 'pride' symbol. Admit it, Marth's fiance is only there as a cover.

That was talked about in his last list he wears that tiara in memory of his sister which is masculine he is honouring the memory of his sister

Kirby? Not only does he suck, but he swallows too! (Most likely Marth for that matter.) At least D3 spits it out...



More later. Have to go now.

☻Comments in Plum.☻​

​

 

[Sgt. Baker]

Ganon should be higher than bowser. Why? Cause Ganon is a hairy beast! Look at his beard/eyebrows!

Seriously... this list fails.
Kirby? Not only does he suck, but he swallows too! (Most likely Marth for that matter.) At least D3 spits it out...

I lol'd

 

[The furosious robot has left]

Kirby? Not only does he suck, but he swallows too! (Most likely Marth for that matter.) At least D3 spits it out...

"most likely marth"?

die in a fire.

 

[Pelikinesis]

Actually, Kirby CAN spit out as well. But yes, he DOES have the option to swallow, unlike Dedede.

And ever consider his Down B? What it essentially is, is him turning into a rock (or something as hard as a rock) instantaneously. Him turning rock hard on command. Hm. Manly?