The Unhappy Thread

[PsychoIncarnate]

6 years ago I asked out the girl I cared about most and she said no. Then we stopped being friends even though I knew her for a long time. Also she's a lesbian now

I haven't asked out anyone since then.

Edit: I have gone after girls since then, I just don't know if I believe in relationships. It's not like I had much experience but I have witnessed my friends and family have horrible relationships and my friendships have always seemed fragile

 

[The Real Gamer]

Relationships are a necessity for maintaining a healthy marriage (assuming you'll eventually pursue one).

The more people you date the more you're able to weed out what qualities you're specifically looking for in a partner. It also gives you realistic expectations as to what to expect from a partner (both good and bad). All I'm saying is try not to completely shut the idea of dating out.

 

[GunmasterLombardi]

I'm going to ask her again but I don't know when to.

The whole situation is bothering my self-esteem.

 

[Luigitoilet]

wait, you got rejected by this girl and you're going to ask again?

....why?

 

[PsychoIncarnate]

What is the proper etiquette for asking someone out? Is there a time period you have to have known them or a specific way your suppose to phrase it?

 

[Luigitoilet]

What is the proper etiquette for asking someone out? Is there a time period you have to have known them or a specific way your suppose to phrase it?

There's no one rule. People aren't math equations.

In my experience, I get the best results in just letting the person know that I want to hang out with them and spend more time with them. The more time spent the more comfortable you will feel about asking about taking it to a more serious level. I dunno about you guys but I can usually gauge pretty well how much a girl and I are clicking so when I ask them to do something it's not some complete mystery.

 

[Master Xanthan]

I'm going to ask her again but I don't know when to.

The whole situation is bothering my self-esteem.

I don't see the point, if she said no the first time you'll probably get the same answer the second time. Seems like a better idea to just move on.

 

[GunmasterLombardi]

When I talked to her about it she was like "I'm kinda busy yadda yadda yadda but I'll let you know later." Then just today she said (via Facebook -_-) "Thanks but no thanks".

This is my first attempt so I don't want to quit. It bothers me that I'm always the one approaching her though.

I've had feelings for her for a while. She's one person when with her friends (girls) and the opposite by herself. Maybe she's shy or scared or whatever.

I'm African American and I hope that's not the reason behind this... of all things.

 

[#HBC | J]

She definitely talked to her girl-friends about it. Almost 100% positive on it.

Try and separate her from the herd of girls and they will become something different.

Hopefully things go better the second time.

 

[Holder of the Heel]

Because it was your first attempt doesn't mean that you shouldn't quit. You look at the signs and indications to know if you should ask again. Honestly, there aren't a lot of scenarios where that would seem like the right thing to do, and going by what you are saying, I do not think this is one of those scenarios. I'm sorry to hear that it didn't go well though. Just be careful, you are treading on thin ice, you could break a relationship by trying to put more onto it.

And if what J says is true, and she went to discuss it with her friends because she can make up her own mind, in my view, that sounds like a lame person, and a weak relationship would ensue if she said yes. I mean, its not like you went to your buddies to check to see if you liked her. Probably not at all what you want, either way.

 

[GunmasterLombardi]

One of the last things I want is for people to feel sorry for me, but I appreciate reading everyone's thoughts on the matter.

I have a class with her, so it'll be back to just greetings and asking for help I guess. I haven't given any compliments even though that's less sudden than "you, me, movie. yes?"

If anything happens I'll post here or hopefully in The Happy Thread.

 

[The Real Gamer]

Getting rejected is hard... Everyone goes through it at least once in their lifetime (well at least people who pursue relationships). I'd just completely forget about her. Always remember you deserve a girl that wants you just as much as you want them. If you constantly have to chase after someone most of the time it's just not worth it... I learned that the hard way while I was in highschool. Lol

 

[Holder of the Heel]

If you constantly have to chase after someone most of the time it's just not worth it... I learned that the hard way while I was in highschool. Lol

So much me. Through the latter half of elementary to the latter half of highschool this has plagued me. Sucked that most of what I know about life, love, and relationships started coming to me after graduation. Turned around, looked at all the crap behind me, sifting through it to see if anything was worth while, and here I am now.




Edit: Also, I don't feel sorry for you Gunmaster, just sorry for the circumstances because I know it sucks.

 

[Morin0]

My dad's car got stolen =/

 

[GunmasterLombardi]

That happened to my dad a few years ago.

 

[Jon Farron]

My dad's car got stolen =/

Ouch D:

Hopefully the insurance will cover it o:

 

[Chronodiver Lokii]

D: the car thing sucks

And gunmaster, I wish you luck c: you got this

And whatever happens happens. There are other fish in the sea

 

[Grandeza]

So this is a somewhat typical friendzone story I think, but it can't hurt to vent

I've been friends with this girl for a while now and we're pretty close friends. She's dealing with a lot of stuff in her life and I've been trying to be there and help her through it. Over the past month or so I've definitely developed feelings for her. I'm pretty sure she suspects it, but whatever. I don't think she returns the feelings but I'm not really sure. I think I'm gonna just let her know how I feel some time soon because I don't want to look back and hit myself for never letting her know. I'm just nervous that she won't return the feelings and our friendship will become to awkward to continue. I like the friendship we have right now and I don't want to lose it, but I think I really should tell her. Not sure what i expect anyone to tell me, but it helps to write my thoughts down I guess.

 

[Segtendo]

I have a crush on one my girl friends as well. I've only known her for a few months, but she shares some interests with me. She said she could introduce me to a friend of her's, but what she doesn't know is that I want her to be mine >.<

 

[Chronodiver Lokii]

Neighbor has a baby
.....he's 18 going on 19 and is in the marines, and his girlfriend is a high school senior

Life is gonna be tough for those two.

I'm unhappy at their decision making...
But they have a cute and darling baby girl named Addison, the girlfriend is going to finish her senior year (and has college plans), and I do hope that he will be a responsible father.
Im happy he is home visiting and it is great to see him after a few months. I grew up with this kid (hes a year younger than me), and hes like a brother to me. I just want to see him succeed.

 

[Segtendo]

Something I dislike about my Facebook newsfeed: some people my age are drinking and doing drugs, and they're posting about it. I mean, the **** is going through their head.

 

[#HBC | J]

That obnoxious. If you are going to do that sort of thing, keep it off Facebook.

 

[Segtendo]

Well, most people, if any, talk about drinking. I only know one guy in my friend list that talks about doing drugs.

 

[Hot_ArmS]

but its the cool thing to do!

 

[Oneupsalesman]

I've had that problem. Not seeing it up on Facebook, but I have a friend that I haven't talked to in a while that's into stuff that I really, really don't agree with. And then another friend, who I don't think does anything, at least not very much, seems to be so casual about it and not against it.

I'm sick of all this "SCREW MORALITY IT'S FUN!" talk that really turns out to be just ignoring what's happened to people because of their own bad decisions.

 

[Smooth Criminal]

It's immoral to do drugs?

Since when?

Smooth Criminal

 

[Hot_ArmS]

sup debate hall

 

[Keblerelf]

I'm so depressed reading these posts.

Not because of the inherent situations themselves, but because I want to help all of you and I can't. All of these situations y'all are describing: wondering how to ask a girl out on a date, how to tell a girl that I like her, being friendzoned, problems at work, conflicts with the family, not having strong friendships, being lonely, I've had ALL of these problems too. We're going through the same things. Our backgrounds aren't all that different. If we substituted each other's lives, it would be so similar that we wouldn't be able to tell much of a difference.

I can sense the frustration you guys feel because I've been there too. There have been times when the frustration builds up so much inside of me that I want to scream and explode at the next person I see. I get so jealous whenever I see a guy who "has it all figured out". The guys with the circle of great friends, a cute girlfriend, getting good grades, and having an overall amazing quality of life that I only wish I could have in my dreams. WHY can't that be me? Am I just unlucky? Am I going to be considered nothing more than an emotional sponge for girls the rest of my life? Is there anything I could do to help myself?

I'm so passionate right now that I want to write my entire life story for you guys in order to tell you that I can relate. I couldn’t control the impulses. I want to reach out of my computer screen and give every single one of you a big bro hug to tell you that I care. I feel so sorry that you guys aren’t able to be satisfied with the people around you and that it ends up giving you a different perspective on people in general.

Froggy, Luigitoilet, PsychoIncarnate, Holder of the Heel, The Real Gamer, Segtendo, Sly Fox, cannedbread, GunmasterLombardi, Grandeza, Jasou, ToasterBrains, 127crazie, and anyone else I missed who said he was depressed/socially awkward/lonely/stressed out/can't find a job and/or frustrated about girls, I am BEGGING you to listen to me. I’m desperate right now to want to help pull you out of your situations. PLEASE read this book and sign up (for free). I wish I can show you guys how much I care through text, but believe me that the emotion is there.

I want all of you to be happy, but I know not all of you are going to believe me. There are some guys that are going to look at my post and say how I shouldn’t have been such a **** if I want people to listen. There are some guys that are going to ignore this in general. But if I can get even one of you to listen and take a chance, it would lift my spirits up for the entire week.

 

[SnackAttack]

I'm so depressed reading these posts.

Not because of the inherent situations themselves, but because I want to help all of you and I can't. All of these situations y'all are describing: wondering how to ask a girl out on a date, how to tell a girl that I like her, being friendzoned, problems at work, conflicts with the family, not having strong friendships, being lonely, I've had ALL of these problems too. We're going through the same things. Our backgrounds aren't all that different. If we substituted each other's lives, it would be so similar that we wouldn't be able to tell much of a difference.

I can sense the frustration you guys feel because I've been there too. There have been times when the frustration builds up so much inside of me that I want to scream and explode at the next person I see. I get so jealous whenever I see a guy who "has it all figured out". The guys with the circle of great friends, a cute girlfriend, getting good grades, and having an overall amazing quality of life that I only wish I could have in my dreams. WHY can't that be me? Am I just unlucky? Am I going to be considered nothing more than an emotional sponge for girls the rest of my life? Is there anything I could do to help myself?

I'm so passionate right now that I want to write my entire life story for you guys in order to tell you that I can relate. I couldn’t control the impulses. I want to reach out of my computer screen and give every single one of you a big bro hug to tell you that I care. I feel so sorry that you guys aren’t able to be satisfied with the people around you and that it ends up giving you a different perspective on people in general.

Froggy, Luigitoilet, PsychoIncarnate, Holder of the Heel, The Real Gamer, Segtendo, Sly Fox, cannedbread, GunmasterLombardi, Grandeza, Jasou, ToasterBrains, 127crazie, and anyone else I missed who said he was depressed/socially awkward/lonely/stressed out/can't find a job and/or frustrated about girls, I am BEGGING you to listen to me. I’m desperate right now to want to help pull you out of your situations. PLEASE read this book and sign up (for free). I wish I can show you guys how much I care through text, but believe me that the emotion is there.

I want all of you to be happy, but I know not all of you are going to believe me. There are some guys that are going to look at my post and say how I shouldn’t have been such a **** if I want people to listen. There are some guys that are going to ignore this in general. But if I can get even one of you to listen and take a chance, it would lift my spirits up for the entire week.

I was debating on whether I should have made a separate thread/post or not. I'm glad you did it. :D

 

[Jon Farron]

There have been times when the frustration builds up so much inside of me that I want to scream and explode at the next person I see. I get so jealous whenever I see a guy who "has it all figured out". The guys with the circle of great friends, a cute girlfriend, getting good grades, and having an overall amazing quality of life that I only wish I could have in my dreams. WHY can't that be me? Am I just unlucky?

You just described how I feel everyday in one paragraph. It's also upsetting because most of the people who are the lucky ones, are usually big jerks who don't care about anyone but themselves. I don't get it, why do the mean, arrogant jerks get everything seemingly handed to them on a silver platter, while the nice, kind, and sweethearted people work their ***** off for something but still continuously fail, only to be made fun of by the "lucky" ones. Ugh.

WHY!? D:

 

[Zook]

When will Keblerelf learn that no one with a brain on this site would ever want to read that ****ty book he keeps promoting.

 

[Chronodiver Lokii]

Isn't that the book that says femenism is the root of all evil in society? O___o

I agree that is great to empathize with others and I'm glad you do

But a book that teaches that femenism is evil and uses it as a scapegoat to say why society is complicated/etc.....I'm not sure that's the best idea .____.

 

[Jon Farron]

Yeah um what was that book about? I clicked it and was like ok...?

 

[Smooth Criminal]

Whether it's going on your first date, saving a troubled relationship, addressing your wife's '*****' behavior, making new friends, or standing up for yourself in this emasculating feminist environment...

I think we're done here. (Source of the quote)

No offense, Keebler, but that's some absurd ****. It's great that you empathize with others, but that's just sending 'em barking up the wrong tree.

Still, though. Whatever works for you.

Smooth Criminal

 

[Chronodiver Lokii]

Could I possibly give some insight, as someone directly affected by the femenist movement? .____.

Maybe that'll help see why we have a problem with this book

 

[Oneupsalesman]

It's immoral to do drugs?

Since when?

Smooth Criminal

I'm not going over this with you. Sorry, it'll just go on and on, take up space and just further frustrate those trying to vent.

 

[Smooth Criminal]

I'm not going over this with you. Sorry, it'll just go on and on, take up space and just further frustrate those trying to vent.

Probably because you don't have a justifiable answer to my question...?

This

1. conformity to the rules of right conduct; moral or virtuous conduct.

Is a helluva lot more ambiguous and loose than what you're making it out to be. It also has nothing to do with partaking in drugs.

That said, I don't do them myself and probably never will. Too much of a prude; there's legal crap here in the States; also, I'm not a big fan of losing control of my mental and emotional faculties in any way and on a regular basis.

(Hence why I only drink to get drunk once in a blue moon and only with friends. I've posted on these boards a few times inebriated.)

I would agree if you said that it breeds certain criminal behaviors and tendencies and whatnot (based on a number of factors, chiefly societal and cultural ones). But, the act itself is NOT immoral.

Smooth Criminal

 

[The Real Gamer]

Eww morality debates... Take that to the debate hall. DX

 

[Jon Farron]

There's really only one person debating here...

 

[The Real Gamer]

I've actually seen a person debate himself in the DH once... It was pretty intense.