I'm sorry everyone.
I just want to feel happy again and I don't know how.
I'm so sorry.
Apologies aren't necessary. I can tell you that I have felt the same way before and it can be a pretty damning feeling.
From what I've learned happiness, is a temporary emotion. You can be happy eating a burger, or ice cream, etc; but what if the food's gone and you're still hungry? Even if you're generally feeling good the entire day a simple stubbed toe can ruin that day for you. Happiness is fed off of impulse, the search for happiness lends us to seek out instant gratification, and only provides a temporary boost in your mood, which depending on the circumstance can come with a price later on.
What you should instead focus on is finding what gives your life meaning. As
TheMightyP
put it earlier. Keep climbing that mountain. Through the thorns and jagged rocks keep working towards that peak. But focus on going one step at a time and the present moment, so long as you know which direction that mountain peak is. What happens if/when you reach the top? Start climbing another mountain. Eventually after conquering those mountaintops you find that you have conquered the entire continent. Then keep climbing!
What gives your life meaning? Purpose? Well that's up to you really. Painting? Game Design? Writing? Could be anything really, but what is something that you love to do that resonates with you on a deep even a spiritual level. We humans are no longer in the hunter/gatherer society where our main purpose was simply putting food on the table without getting killed in the process but now with the way we live we have to find some other way to occupy ourselves, our body/mind doesn't really care what we do with our time but as long as we are doing something that makes us feel that greater sense of purpose. Unfortunately most people turn to social media and other toxic environments to fill out our boredom. But instead give yourself a "life's mission." Don't concern yourself with reaching the ultimate pinnacle as that will only frustrate you, especially early on. "Why am I not good enough?" "Why do I suck so much?" These sort of thoughts will only discourage. Instead focus on what is happening 'Now!' The future doesn't exist, we can slightly alter how things may happen in the future but we can't fully control what hasn't happened yet, and the past is only your perception of a previous experience you once had, your memory may not even be an accurate summary of the past, the present moment is what truly matters most.
Don't bother comparing yourself to others and think everyone else is doing so much better than you (a lot of them may have had a head start and already spent a lot of time doing this thing, that's why they are better) but instead just focus on what you are doing right now. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not who someone else is today.
Sorry for the wall of text but try to keep these points in mind. I am willing to talk if you're up for it, but do remember I'm just some random mook on the internet, lol, so there's only so much good I can provide as opposed to someone who's had professional training. Plus I can't comment on what is exactly going on with your current life's situation.
One last thing, I do suggest this a lot, but from my own personal experience I can recommend you start practicing meditation. It can do your mind some good even if for just 5 minutes a day.
But do it consistently. Doing it for a couple days then quitting isn't going to do anything, it's a longterm practice.