World’s slowest elevator be like:
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Alternatively, that elevator rapidly ages canines. Wait, that gives me an idea...
SCP-5356 - "What is Updog?"
Object Class: Euclid
Description: SCP-5356 is an elevator set within a business complex named ██████ that allows entry for domesticated animals and patrons related to all personnel. Left to its own devices, the elevator functions with nothing out of the ordinary. Weight capacity is coherent with elevator guidelines, it can only ascend and descend as instructed by passengers, and no known incidents of dimensional travel occur while taking the elevator. However, a universally accepted guideline has been implemented by building staff regarding bait-and-switch humor around domestic dogs.
Passengers attending the elevator feel compelled to bait dog owners into falling for the infamous Updog joke. Numerous reports of these incidents cause passenger dogs to age rapidly, with each ascent in level decreasing their lifespan by one year. Instigators who relocate in different floors do not halt or slow down the decline in lifespan. Depending on the life expectancy of particular dog breeds, some will perish due to health complications earlier than other breeds.
However, the effects of rapid aging can be reversed if the owner stops at a floor just before the age in which their dog would perish. Taking the elevator back down would reverse the dog's aging up until whatever floor the owner chooses to step out of. On the other hand, an owner who is to remain in the elevator with their dog after partaking in the Updog will find that their dog will rot until they are bone-dry once reaching a certain threshold. At this point, the fossilization process becomes irreversible, with the victimized dog becoming ██████.
The business complex is built with its own basement that is as deep as the building is tall. Under normal circumstances, dogs do not de-age beneath surface level. Should a dog owner trigger the de-aging effects of their dogs past conception, the owner will undergo a slow state of Lycanthropy that is physiologically similar to the dog breed accompanying them.
The patron undergoing transformation then becomes SCP-5356-1. All instances of SCP-5356-1 are to be kept under close observation and prevented from ascending to the lobby level at all costs. Behavior from each instance varies, with reports of victims becoming [REDACTED] upon close encounters with certain Lycan breeds. Despite complications with age and race, the elevator continues to be operational, with business patrons accompanying dog owners to keep them from surpassing each threshold.