The Cactuar Rating System

[Construct]

This is clearly a viral marketing scheme to make Cactuar a household term. 4.3 cactuars, slightly jankier than a good puff ditto.

 

[Kal]

Hence why high numbers on this scale (5 and higher) should be used more conservatively.

It's currently an open question in mathematics what the graph of jankiness looks like as a function of the Cactuar Ranking. For all we know, the function is highly discontinuous, and so we could see an enormous jump in jankiness for a very small increase in Cactuar Ranking. What we do know is the following:

Let C(x) denote jankiness as a function of x, the Cactuar Ranking (formally, C: (0,8) -> R+). Then:

lim C(x) = 0
x -> 0

and

lim C(x) = infinity
x -> 8

A proof of this can be found in the appendix of Umbreon's Ph.D thesis. However, mathematical consensus is that, if the result is not already immediately obvious, then you lack the mathematical maturity to understand the proof in the first place. This is why a proof is typically not included in any relevant mathematical literature, and why Umbreon did not bother providing proof of this result.

Given that Cactuar has a Cactuar Rating of 2.4, however, mathematicians speculate that the function is highly discontinuous. A recent result of Shai Hulud and FerrishTheFish is that the function is nowhere differentiable, i.e., that it has no smoothness. Similar to the Weierstrass Function, which looks like this:

 

[RaphaelRobo]

The worst part is, I understood everything Kal said. And I think it all made sense.

That post gets a rating of 0 Cactuars.

 

[Kal]

Your post similarly gets a rating of 0 Cactuars, Raphael. However, I don't remember whether you like the FC ruleset. I will assume you don't and grant you a provisional Cactuar Rating of 4.0.

Before anyone else jumps on "provisional rating," claiming it's not logical for the Cactuar Rating to change, let me ask you this: are you a mathematician?

Didn't think so.

 

[Dr Peepee]

LMFAO we have mathematical cactuar principles now

may the Cactuars be ever in your favor Kal

 

[odinNJ]

trust in the heart of the cactuars

 

[RaphaelRobo]

I think the FC ruleset is a lot of fun. I don't know how good it is competitively, because, being relatively new to this community, I lack experience with those old stages. I wish there were more tournaments with that ruleset, though, because like I said, it's fun. Plus, then I'd have enough experience with the stages to know how competitive it is.

I played on Big Blue at the last tournament I was at (Gentleman's Rule ftw), and didn't really feel like it took away from any skill. It emphasized a different set of skills than the main game, but the better player still won (i.e. my Kirby got destroyed). All the hazards on Big Blue are easily avoidable, unlike some stages (FoD), so the only reason you'll get harmed by them is because of your opponent. It's not that hard to quickly get off of the road, either.

I give Big Blue 0 Cactuars.

Let's create a new Cactuar ruleset. Everyone starts with 4 Cactuars, and you're on an 8 Cactuar timer. The goal is to get down to 0 Cactuars.

 

[~Twitch~]

kevin i hate you

i'm coming downstairs.

 

[Deleted member]

the side platforms ****ing up your shuffle is about 1 cactuar for reference, unless you play captain falcon, then it's still 1 but you ***** about it like it's a 6. i'm pretty sure cactuar vs any falcon is also about 6 cactuars, to be fair lmao

 

[Strong Badam]

live long and cactuar

 

[♡ⓛⓞⓥⓔ♡]

Can't wait for this joke to transfer in my language >_>


**** me

 

[-LzR-]

Can't wait for this joke to transfer in my language >_>


**** me

3.5 Novis?

 

[RaphaelRobo]

the side platforms ****ing up your shuffle is about 1 cactuar for reference, unless you play captain falcon, then it's still 1 but you ***** about it like it's a 6. i'm pretty sure cactuar vs any falcon is also about 6 cactuars, to be fair lmao

I'm cool with that. What I don't like is the platforms moving right when I'm about to platformdash, and then I just do a horizontal airdodge and look stupid while my opponent beats me up. Or I move onto a platform to dodge an attack, only for the platform to move me back into the way of the attack. I honestly don't care about it messing up my shuffles. It's annoying, but that's my fault, not the stage's.

And I main Ganon, so it's more like a 5.5 to me.

EDIT: Also, I don't know how many Ganons/Falcons realize this, but instead of shuffling, you can pull off some pretty cool edge cancel stuff thanks to the height of the platforms. All the Ganon/Falcon has to do is know how to play on the stage, they shouldn't be complaining about shuffling.

 

[Strong Badam]

lol @ people that spell out "shuffling" instead of SHFFLing

 

[Jolteon]

Ell Cancelling.

 

[RaphaelRobo]

lol @ people that spell out "shuffling" instead of SHFFLing

It's because we want to pretend we're cool and know how to dance.

 

[Niko45]

All I see is a whole lot of **** sucking tbh

 

[Fregadero]

**** riding is at least 5 cactuars, regardless of content.

 

[ShroudedOne]

nonsense

Oh hush you.

 

[Deleted member]

All I see is a whole lot of **** sucking tbh

you think falco's ftilt beats marth, your opinion is invalid. like, you know when someone has mind****ed you in smash when...

 

[Kink-Link5]

I can't wait to try out a Doubleyou Dee Jab or Jaysee Grab Oh oh Ess against Falcon.

 

[Niko45]

Edit - Nvm, covered everything in the first post lol.

 

[Shiny Mewtwo aka Jigglysir]

How many Cactuars is Brawl?

 

[odinNJ]

im relatively sure comments like that arent allowed

 

[Strong Badam]

brawl cannot be measured on the cactuar scale. goes wayyyy off

 

[standardtoaster]

but the maximum is 8 cactuars

 

[Blu]

Brawl's value in Cactuars is undefined; not worthy of measurement.

 

[Strong Badam]

It's undefined because it's evaluated as the limit of 1/x as x approaches 0.

 

[RaphaelRobo]

Are you saying the Cactuar scale is the same as 1/x?

 

[Strong Badam]

I have literally no idea how you concluded that from my post.

 

[odinNJ]

I was gonna explain but now I don't care. Brawl is a lot of cactuars.

 

[-ACE-]

All I see is a whole lot of **** sucking tbh

This times 47 mew2king's.

 

[Blu]

Inside jokes/understandings are what make us a community.

Screw ****-sucking; this is people getting together and agreeing that something is funny. B]

 

[McNinja]

Hmm... I'm going to fine myself using this system waaaaaay more than I should. Lol my friends are going to get so annoyed.

 

[hungrybox]

Be careful guys

In Europe they use Leffens

 

[Krynxe]

^ LOL

That's sort of the best thing haha

I'm assuming it uses decimal powers, so 8 cactuars is approximately 1 kiloleffen

 

[Rostigalen]

I'm choking with laughter at the latest two posts

Especially that 8 cactuars = 1 kiloleffen really appealed for some reason...but goddamn

 

[PGH Carroll]

I think sheik is better than fox. how many cactaurs ia that worth?

 

[Blu]

Falco is obviously the best character in the game.

 

[Biglard]

My laser is worse than 3,4 Kiloleffen for the moment, but I'd wish it to be better. Could Lambchops give me advice about this?