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The Band of the Hawk: you have brought shame among the hawks

Isatis

Isatis

If specified, this will repl[0x00000000]ce the
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BRoomer
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Dec 18, 2008
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reverite
But in a back corner of the room, a heady new movement is in bloom. Super Smash Bros. Melee may never be the main event at an MLG tournament. Super Smash Bros. Melee is, by design, kind of a children's game, or, as one of its top players, Wife, puts it, "a party game." It certainly doesn't project the stony seriousness of Halo's scarred environments, where barely a single weed struggles through the cracks in the pavement. The backgrounds upon which the action unfolds in SSBM are Fisher-Price-like. There are oak trees whose mouths are prone to open in awe when somebody executes a difficult move, jungles where the palm leaves are as thick and soft as tongues. SSBM games don't go up on the Jumbotrons here, and nobody watches them from bleachers. Only one quarter of one of the rows of monitors in the hall belongs to SSBM. SSBM is a speck of volcanic activity in the gray wash of Halo 2.
In SSBM, you are an Italian guy (Mario or Luigi), a turtle monster, a princess, Donkey Kong, or a Pokemon lump creature. You and your partner must bounce into the other team, knocking them offscreen. It's generally acknowledged that there is a West Coast style and an East Coast style, the former defensive, the latter offensive. This is plausible because SSBM is not an online game, like Halo 2, so there are regional networks of players who meet in physical locations. Beyond the difference in styles, there is an East Coast vs. West Coast rivalry.
There have been no shootings perpetrated in the Super Smash Bros. Melee East Coast vs. West Coast feud, but "somebody got hit once," at a tournament, SSBM players tell me. The New York SSBM tournament is an unusually loud event; the East Coast players are the more aggressive of the two regions, and the New York players are reputedly the most volatile in the country.
PC Chris is the only white kid in the Deadly Alliance, a group of New York City-area SSBMers who travel together and coach each other. He also happens to be one of the best-looking kids in the room, with thick dark hair in his eyes and porcelain skin, and there's a cult following around him, even if it exists mostly in the way people talk about him online. One player, Bach, has made an "I <3 PC Chris" T-shirt, and another kid here is actually wearing it.
One of the most stoical looking of the East Coasters is Wes, who wears a leather jacket and keeps a thick ponytail under a newsboy cap. He seems ambivalent about the fashion statement sported by the other black kid who's an East Coast player: the letters QT penned under his right eye.
Wes taps him on the shoulder. "Did you kill somebody?"
"It's a name a girl gave me." The other kid shrugs, inching away.
Wes dismisses him with a wave. "Get out of here."
QT is an IM designation, Wes's target explains to me, meaning "cutie."
Soon after, I meet the Team Ben partnership who go by the names Husband and Wife. "They aren't gay," Bach explains to me. Wife's character is Princess Peach and Husband's character is Prince, who is Peach's husband in the game.
When we arrive at the final brackets, Ken and Isai face PC Chris and his partner, a kid who goes by the undiplomatic name of I-****-A. This is it: the New Yorkers of the Deadly Alliance are ready to represent for their side, hoping for an upset. Every jump-and-bump combo that New York executes is a coup, met with wide-eyed excitement ("HOOOOH!").
"Ye-ah!" says one of the white onlookers, when New York carries off a joint attack.
"YEE-ah!" says one of the Deadly Alliance guys. "Whatever that **** means."
Then the mood starts to change. Ken and Isai actually appear to be falling to Chris and I-****-A. The Deadly Alliance guy's satirical YEE-ahs give way, and he lets out an "Oh, ****."
"Ha! Hoh! HOH!"
Finally, jaws drop and baseball caps come off. Chris and I-****-A have won. PC Chris and I-****-A stand and embrace, and a New York kid yells and waves his NYC cap in the air. In response the Deadly Alliance's manager waves his signature old-school Nintendo power glove, and his players thud into him to hug and rejoice.
Click to expand...
Out of a new book supposedly detailing MLG 2006, with so many mistakes I lol'd hard
 
Isatis

Isatis

If specified, this will repl[0x00000000]ce the
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A book called American Nerd my Mom picked up, I forgot the page, but I copied it out of an ebook.
 
Reioumu

Reioumu

Smash Lord
Joined
Jan 27, 2006
Messages
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Muppetland 64
toasty said:
I don't know how much non-smash stuff I will be doing at Pound 4...HOWEVER Poker is one of those very few exceptions!!!

I would love to play poker with you guys =D

Related:
My cousin wants to open a bar that also hosts poker games.

But only so he can have a neon sign that reads:

LIQUOR IN THE FRONT
POKER IN THE BACK



XD
Click to expand...

It's supposed to be
"Liquor up front.
Poker in the rear"
 
thumbswayup

thumbswayup

Smash Master
Joined
May 27, 2007
Messages
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wars not make one great
OMG

so the collection I'm working on at work has this naming convention where it'll say one line at the top of the document and I have to type that out as well as whatever location it says right beneath the line. So I see things like Fort Armstrong or something as the location and I type that right. Well this is what the document I'm looking at says

Army Printing Plant

Fort Kamehameha

looooooooooooooooooool
 
thumbswayup

thumbswayup

Smash Master
Joined
May 27, 2007
Messages
4,566
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wars not make one great
Sorry, but when you see thousands of these things with legit names and locations something like that is funny to see in person. I mean, come on, it's a freaking military document.

10FORTKAMEHAMEHAS
 
skins

skins

Smash Rookie
Joined
Feb 16, 2009
Messages
13
Location
Fighting offscreen on the Moon!
I figured the base was in hawaii. You sound change the document's name to 10FORTKIAOKENTIMES10YAAAAAAAMAYBEBUTILIKETHATHONOREXCUSEMORE

Anyway, I just got my spring schedule. This ****ing insane.

NO CLASS WED OR FRIDAY OH YEAAA
 
thumbswayup

thumbswayup

Smash Master
Joined
May 27, 2007
Messages
4,566
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wars not make one great
I am the dumbest mother****er alive


KageMurphy (10:21:30 PM): so Mains: Marth, Luigi
KageMurphy (10:21:34 PM): secondary
KageMurphy (10:21:36 PM): FALCON!?
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:22:00 PM): yeah
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:22:00 PM): wtf
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:22:02 PM): is that pic
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:22:03 PM): in the aim

*note the pic in the aim box is a skinny dude standing up in water*

KageMurphy (10:22:11 PM): lmao
KageMurphy (10:22:20 PM): it's me
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:22:31 PM): get ht e**** outa here
KageMurphy (10:22:32 PM): it's my second comming
KageMurphy (10:22:46 PM): dying for the sins of brawl
KageMurphy (10:22:52 PM): of playing brawl
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:22:59 PM): but youre still playing....
KageMurphy (10:23:03 PM): to be reborn anew melee meister
KageMurphy (10:23:10 PM): that is me though lol
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:23:16 PM): gaga
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:23:17 PM): ghahah
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:23:18 PM): how old
KageMurphy (10:23:29 PM): that was over the summer
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:23:39 PM): bull****
KageMurphy (10:23:45 PM): swam down a river
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:23:51 PM): that lens has gotta be super slim
KageMurphy (10:23:59 PM): dude
KageMurphy (10:24:03 PM): i am super fit
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:24:09 PM): HAHHAHHAHAHA

ThumbsWayUp87 (10:24:10 PM): YOU
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:24:11 PM): HAHAHAHAH
KageMurphy (10:24:26 PM): i only weigh 145 man
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:24:31 PM): thats a lie
KageMurphy (10:25:11 PM): how much did u think i weigh?
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:25:19 PM): over 200
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:25:26 PM): MAYBE 180
KageMurphy (10:25:27 PM): are u kidding me!?
KageMurphy (10:25:33 PM): i skinny as ****
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:25:36 PM):
LOOOOOOL
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:25:45 PM): wrong
KageMurphy (10:25:46 PM): maybe ur just used to seeing me back in the day
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:25:48 PM): cafes skinny as ****
KageMurphy (10:25:50 PM): like two years ago
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:25:53 PM): im a little more than him
KageMurphy (10:25:55 PM): i was 50 pounds heavier
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:25:58 PM): but still skinny
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:26:07 PM): youre a mammoth
KageMurphy (10:26:29 PM): lmao
KageMurphy (10:26:32 PM): just for that
KageMurphy (10:26:34 PM): next time
KageMurphy (10:26:38 PM): i see you
KageMurphy (10:27:11 PM): im gonna flash my gorgeous six pack on u
KageMurphy (10:27:18 PM): and press it in ur face
KageMurphy (10:27:20 PM): pro homo
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:27:30 PM): hope youre not wearing fancy clothes
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:27:38 PM): theyll have vomit all over em in a heartbeat
KageMurphy (10:27:55 PM): lmao
KageMurphy (10:28:00 PM): oh thumbs
KageMurphy (10:28:11 PM): anything i wear looks fabulous on me
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:28:30 PM): did
KageMurphy (10:28:35 PM): even your vomit
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:28:36 PM): did you just call me thumbs!??!?
KageMurphy (10:28:47 PM): i did
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:28:55 PM): i thought we were on a first name basis
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:29:02 PM): ok ill calll you by your forum name
KageMurphy (10:29:03 PM): OH im sorry
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:29:03 PM): on the boards
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:29:22 PM): phil
KageMurphy (10:29:27 PM): jeez it's not like i called you that in front of your grandmother
KageMurphy (10:29:33 PM): LMAO
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:29:34 PM): haha
KageMurphy (10:29:49 PM): dude
KageMurphy (10:29:50 PM): fail
KageMurphy (10:29:53 PM): u know
KageMurphy (10:29:56 PM): this is OKIN
KageMurphy (10:30:04 PM): FAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIL
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:30:06 PM): /...............
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:30:13 PM): i
KageMurphy (10:30:13 PM): phil hasmy old account
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:30:13 PM): am
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:30:14 PM): so
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:30:16 PM): ****ing
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:30:17 PM): ********
KageMurphy (10:30:21 PM): LMAO!
KageMurphy (10:30:24 PM): too gewd
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:30:30 PM): dude im slamming my head into the desk as i type this
KageMurphy (10:30:52 PM): AHAHAHahaha!
KageMurphy (10:30:53 PM): oh ****
KageMurphy (10:31:07 PM): u thought E could be this skinny!?
KageMurphy (10:31:09 PM): lmao
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:31:10 PM): dude
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:31:12 PM): i saw the pic
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:31:15 PM): and immediately
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:31:17 PM): thought
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:31:19 PM): is that okin?!?!
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:31:25 PM): BUT PHIL HAS YOUR BOARDS NAME
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:31:28 PM): I THOUGHT YOU WERE ****ING PHIL
ThumbsWayUp87 (10:31:33 PM): HOLY **** I AM DUMB AS ****
 
GimR

GimR

GimR, Co-Founder of VGBootCamp
Joined
Nov 2, 2006
Messages
5,602
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Maryland
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VGBC_GimR
wait KageMurphy isn't EE?


yo Okin you never brought me my Controller!
 
0kin

0kin

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Nov 13, 2007
Messages
425
Location
Silver Spring MD
God-is-my-Rock said:
wait KageMurphy isn't EE?


yo Okin you never brought me my Controller!
Click to expand...
I know I know, I'm really sorry man. I've been really busy with college an **** though. But i don't have work tomorrow and get out of class @ 4, so I'll head over there after I get out tomorrow. No Johns
 
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