It was 2008, and had graduated from High School. I saw all opportunities close in front of my eyes as I had lived in the US illegaly for 12 years and the scholarship I worked so hard to get was denied because I couldn't prove I was a resident of Florida.
A lot of things actually happened after high school actually, girl trouble, got my Spanish citizenship, new job, problems with my dad, friends moving away, more girl trouble. I also spent more time going to martial arts and I took the opportunity of being free from school and studies to find myself. It was then when I started doing Parkour, and also started weight training, so I started having a more possitive outlook on life. I had also recently watched Gurren Lagann.
So, anyway after working in a restaurant for some years, I saved up my money and moved to California for a couple months to take care of my grandmother with the plan to move to Spain shortly after. During my time in California, I felt completely free, and spent a lot of my free time training, reading, and surfing the web.
It was then that I began to write a bucket list and set a lot of my life goals. I also set out to make myself a better person. I realized that a lot of the problems I had in the past were because I wasn't good enough. Like in a way, I also began to grow up and see all the **** in the world, and realized that in order to change all of that, I had to start with myself (one of my mottos to this day is Gandhi's quote "be the change you want to see in the world"). Combined with the inspiration I had from watching TTGL and following the examples of some of my role models, I began to have a lot of admiration for what it meant to be a man. I realized that I was going through a transitional phase in my life, because for the first time ever, I was completely independent; and thus, responsible for making myself into the person I wanted to be. I was growing and changing from a simple-minded teenager into a full-fledged man. I was beginning to have more self-confidence and that bravado inspired me to go further than I had dreamed I could. I mean, after living a life of fear because I was illegal, and feeling inferior to others as I had less opportunities because I had overstayed my Visa, suddenly feeling in control of my own life was very refreshing.
So, it was that, the feeling I had back then, I wanted to capture it, because I knew it was temporary, and I really identified with the concept of manhood. It really resonated with me, so I made it my online name for just about everything. I take a lot of pride in that, in what it means to be a man, and I constantly push myself, I always strive to be a better person, and to make others happy, hoping to inspire others to do the same and find themselves.
I can confidently say I FEEL like a man now, 3-4 years later. I've made a lot of life-changing decisions, am living on the other side of the planet, doing and seeing things that many have never even dreamed of, and the freedom to persue my ambitions makes me happy. It's honestly the reason why I don't wanna have children, because it would mean giving up that freedom, and I feel there are better ways to spread your ideals than by having a child. I feel much more comfortable being a role model to others than by procreating hoping my kid turns out like me.