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Something bothering you?

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Airgemini

Chansey
Joined
Jun 28, 2007
Messages
9,410
Location
Safari Zone. Shiny, and holding a Lucky Egg.
3DS FC
2406-5625-4787
ok i have a problem
So i have come to smashboards xD
lolz
anyway, i just found out that one of my best friends, that iv known since Kindergarden smokes weed.
Iv seen this happen before with my friends but all ofthem were just friends. Me and this dude are tight. like no joke. What can i do to stop his from smokeing weed? He's really smart. IB student at GHS, straight A's. Very atletic. And i dont want to see him just **** up his life because of weed.

What can i doo.?
i want to leave telling someone like a last resort,

thanks.
I think you should try talking to him about it and try to really get through to him.
Perhaps calling a number hotline for advice might benefit you some.
 

PUNK9

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Jul 26, 2009
Messages
252
Location
kissimmee
Some of you may recall me posting about my situation about a month ago. In summary, I found out that a certain girl liked me. I decided to ask her out. We realized we kind of rushed into things and it was a spur of the moment and we should have gotten to know one another better first. We decided to break up. I was hoping that we'd be friends for a while and build our relationship from there. Not too long after we broke up I started to suspect that she was back together with her old boyfriend, whom she had broken up with three years ago, and who she had remained good friends with as they have always been friends. I figured I was over-analyzing things and was drawing irrational conclusions based, or at least I hoped this was the case. For about three weeks it went back in forth in my head; I didn't know what to believe. Eventually I came to the realization that this was a very real possibility, and I had to try to be somewhat prepared to hear this. It didn't help that she was constantly busy (this further led me to believe she was hiding something) and I wasn't able to see her and barely got the chance to talk to her over the past month. My suspicions were later confirmed by a Facebook post of her friend. This post was later deleted, but it was too late. I told her she didn't have to hide it from me anymore. She said she was afraid I wouldn't want to be her friend anymore if I found out. She said she didn't realize how she felt about him until she was afraid he was going to be out of her life. He threatened to end their friendship because she was with me and he didn't want to share her. What kind of real friend completely turns on you and threatens to cut you out of their life simply because they can't stand the fact that you're dating someone other than them? I honestly think he used this as a tactic to manipulate her emotionally. When you really want to be with someone, you won't just willingly cut yourself out of their life. You're not going to give up. I told her that I wasn't going to stop being her friend just because she was dating someone else and that I wasn't just being her friend in hopes of being with her again someday. I'm pretty angry at myself. All of this could probably have been avoided. All I had to do was take things slow. Instead, I immediately asked her out and we rushed into things. This lead to her friend and current boyfriend flipping out when he found out, and her getting back together with him. If I had been smart about this, our bond might have progressed to the point where she wouldn't have listened to his (probably empty) threats of ending their friendship. At the time, it never crossed my mind that I was moving too fast. My thoughts were that she liked me and I liked her. Therefore, we should hook up. Perhaps I just have a lack of understanding when it comes to these things. She says he wasn't the reason she broke up with me. I'm nearly positive he played a part in it though, especially since not even a week had passed after we broke up before they got together. This is probably she ****tiest I've ever felt. There are no words to describe it. It's like it's all a game of chess or something. I'm sure he's feeling pretty good about himself right now. I'm sure he had it all planned out from the beginning. He may have just captured my queen, but it's my move. It's not over yet. I'm capable of waiting for them to (probably inevitably) break up, and in the meantime building my relationship with her. I've got nothing else to lose. Some may say I should just accept it. Some may say this is an unhealthy mindset. I say I don't care. She's worth waiting for.

Dude, like im not even kidding, we're both going though.(went tho for my case) the same thing.
I was with this one girl, for 6 months, i was her first kiss, first make-out, first like reall BF. and when we break up,(she dumped me) she got with someone who she know for 5 weeeks
-__-, i was like wth, and i was going though what your going though right now, You feel like nothing really mattered right.? that all that was a waste of time.? that to her it didnt mean anything.? Thats what i was going for, But turned out the dude that she went with was a total *** and jerk and she dumped him, then i asked her out on hallweeen,. but a day before that we had a serious convo, and she was just telling me everything, how that she regects breacking up with me. and yeah. Were back together now. Stronger than ever. We went about a month without dating but we stayed best friends. :]<3. anywho, the best adive i could give you, is just MAKE SHURE you guys stay friends, and make shure that the guy shes with now isnt a jerk, and also ask yourself, do you want her happy.? Do you love just seeing her smile.? and honestly be happy.? if you do, then just let her decied, thats what i did, and turns out were going out again..

and btw how old you are.?. lol jsut asking cuz since were going though/went tho the same thingg.
 

Overload

Smash Lord
Joined
Jul 7, 2008
Messages
1,531
Location
RI
I'm hoping she'll end up deciding she prefers him as a friend and gives me another chance.
Glad to hear things worked out between the two of you.
I do want her to decide, and I'm not going to try to force things. When it comes to these things people can't help but be selfish though. I want her to be happy. With me.
I'm 18.
 

PUNK9

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Jul 26, 2009
Messages
252
Location
kissimmee
I'm hoping she'll end up deciding she prefers him as a friend and gives me another chance.
Glad to hear things worked out between the two of you.
I do want her to decide, and I'm not going to try to force things. When it comes to these things people can't help but be selfish though. I want her to be happy. With me.
I'm 18.
lol im 15 =p.
anyway i understand were you coming from. and if you love this chick enogh just wait, if it was meant to be, it will happen, and it feels SOO good when it doesn, i remeber when i kissed my girl after the month we were broken up, i want to relive that kiss over and over again,
but just remeber to stay friends with her. and always remind her that no matter what, you will always have her back. even when times are rough like this, you have to keep your cool, and not let this get into your soical life. But make shure she knows that you care. like Alot.
thats what girls love to hear, that you care.
i hope i can help out dude, i know what your going though right now, and i know it sucks, if you have any questions, or anything eles, just PM me, or AIM me.
i know we dont know each other, but were going/ went to the same thing, and i think out of everyone looking at this thread, i can help you out the most.
hope it helps.!
 

Fire!

Smash Champion
Joined
May 4, 2008
Messages
2,049
Location
Seattle
NNID
Fire149
3DS FC
2809-9924-8928
I was gonna go to a tournament today, but I didn't.

...

That's my venting.
 

Brightside6382

Smash Lord
Joined
Apr 27, 2006
Messages
1,538
Location
Skokie, IL
Some of you may recall me posting about my situation about a month ago. In summary, I found out that a certain girl liked me. I decided to ask her out. We realized we kind of rushed into things and it was a spur of the moment and we should have gotten to know one another better first. We decided to break up. I was hoping that we'd be friends for a while and build our relationship from there. Not too long after we broke up I started to suspect that she was back together with her old boyfriend, whom she had broken up with three years ago, and who she had remained good friends with as they have always been friends. I figured I was over-analyzing things and was drawing irrational conclusions based, or at least I hoped this was the case. For about three weeks it went back in forth in my head; I didn't know what to believe. Eventually I came to the realization that this was a very real possibility, and I had to try to be somewhat prepared to hear this. It didn't help that she was constantly busy (this further led me to believe she was hiding something) and I wasn't able to see her and barely got the chance to talk to her over the past month. My suspicions were later confirmed by a Facebook post of her friend. This post was later deleted, but it was too late. I told her she didn't have to hide it from me anymore. She said she was afraid I wouldn't want to be her friend anymore if I found out. She said she didn't realize how she felt about him until she was afraid he was going to be out of her life. He threatened to end their friendship because she was with me and he didn't want to share her. What kind of real friend completely turns on you and threatens to cut you out of their life simply because they can't stand the fact that you're dating someone other than them? I honestly think he used this as a tactic to manipulate her emotionally. When you really want to be with someone, you won't just willingly cut yourself out of their life. You're not going to give up. I told her that I wasn't going to stop being her friend just because she was dating someone else and that I wasn't just being her friend in hopes of being with her again someday. I'm pretty angry at myself. All of this could probably have been avoided. All I had to do was take things slow. Instead, I immediately asked her out and we rushed into things. This lead to her friend and current boyfriend flipping out when he found out, and her getting back together with him. If I had been smart about this, our bond might have progressed to the point where she wouldn't have listened to his (probably empty) threats of ending their friendship. At the time, it never crossed my mind that I was moving too fast. My thoughts were that she liked me and I liked her. Therefore, we should hook up. Perhaps I just have a lack of understanding when it comes to these things. She says he wasn't the reason she broke up with me. I'm nearly positive he played a part in it though, especially since not even a week had passed after we broke up before they got together. This is probably she ****tiest I've ever felt. There are no words to describe it. It's like it's all a game of chess or something. I'm sure he's feeling pretty good about himself right now. I'm sure he had it all planned out from the beginning. He may have just captured my queen, but it's my move. It's not over yet. I'm capable of waiting for them to (probably inevitably) break up, and in the meantime building my relationship with her. I've got nothing else to lose. Some may say I should just accept it. Some may say this is an unhealthy mindset. I say I don't care. She's worth waiting for.
First of all, no offense but use paragraphs next time you decide to write an essay out. It makes it easier to read and doesn't **** with your eyes as much as you read it.

I read your later post and saw your 18 so I'm going to safely assume your probably still in High School. I'll just be as blunt as possible. Your young, she's going to break up with him, it probably wouldn't have worked out with you, you all go to college, the end.

Your still young you don't know what you want yet. I'm guessing this is probably one of your first more intimate relationships so your just having a hard time letting go. That's completely normal and there's nothing to be embarrassed about.

Don't wait for her because she won't be waiting for you. Go out and meet new people. You'll soon find that you'll meet someone else and you'll look back at this and just laugh at how silly the whole thing was.
 

Chronodiver Lokii

Chaotic Stupid
BRoomer
Joined
Aug 11, 2009
Messages
5,846
Location
NEOH
Overlord, what you said in your last sentences is what you should do: Wait it out and build your relationship with her. I think that's probably one of the best things you could do.
And listen to Brightside. Great advice by them -nods-
 

Yink

The Robo-PSIentist
Joined
Oct 6, 2009
Messages
7,419
Location
Osaka, Japan
NNID
SSBYink
Alright, I've got a problem...

So I'm a student in a Design College. I was sick because I got H1N1 (which isn't surprising really, it's going around campus).

I missed last Monday because of it, and I missed an exam. I emailed the professor on Sunday in the afternoon saying I'd gone to the Student Health Center and they wouldn't allow me to go to class. He sent me a reply on Monday morning before the exam and said, "I'm so sorry to hear you got H1N1, but I don't give make-up exams in this class."

That's a load of ****. I got a 0 on a 100 point exam BECAUSE I WAS FOLLOWING MEDICAL ORDERS. I even told him I went to the Health Center and they wouldn't allow me to go to class. I have to talk to the Dean of Students for my college but he's not in the state at the moment, and my Adviser told me to talk to him.

What should I do now?
 

Overload

Smash Lord
Joined
Jul 7, 2008
Messages
1,531
Location
RI
First of all, no offense but use paragraphs next time you decide to write an essay out. It makes it easier to read and doesn't **** with your eyes as much as you read it.

I read your later post and saw your 18 so I'm going to safely assume your probably still in High School. I'll just be as blunt as possible. Your young, she's going to break up with him, it probably wouldn't have worked out with you, you all go to college, the end.

Your still young you don't know what you want yet. I'm guessing this is probably one of your first more intimate relationships so your just having a hard time letting go. That's completely normal and there's nothing to be embarrassed about.

Don't wait for her because she won't be waiting for you. Go out and meet new people. You'll soon find that you'll meet someone else and you'll look back at this and just laugh at how silly the whole thing was.
I apologize about not breaking it up. It occurred to me but I just didn't for some reason. I'll edit that. I'm done with high school; I'm in my first year of college. I just can't take your advice about not waiting for her though. I'm not one to give up without trying. I see my goal as within the realm of possibility.

lol im 15 =p.
anyway i understand were you coming from. and if you love this chick enogh just wait, if it was meant to be, it will happen, and it feels SOO good when it doesn, i remeber when i kissed my girl after the month we were broken up, i want to relive that kiss over and over again,
but just remeber to stay friends with her. and always remind her that no matter what, you will always have her back. even when times are rough like this, you have to keep your cool, and not let this get into your soical life. But make shure she knows that you care. like Alot.
thats what girls love to hear, that you care.
i hope i can help out dude, i know what your going though right now, and i know it sucks, if you have any questions, or anything eles, just PM me, or AIM me.
i know we dont know each other, but were going/ went to the same thing, and i think out of everyone looking at this thread, i can help you out the most.
hope it helps.!
I'm not going to live in the illusion that it's 100% certain I'll have her back. That's unrealistic. I do plan to stay friends with her.
 

GoldShadow

Marsilea quadrifolia
BRoomer
Joined
Jun 6, 2003
Messages
14,463
Location
Location: Location
ok i have a problem
So i have come to smashboards xD
lolz
anyway, i just found out that one of my best friends, that iv known since Kindergarden smokes weed.
Iv seen this happen before with my friends but all ofthem were just friends. Me and this dude are tight. like no joke. What can i do to stop his from smokeing weed? He's really smart. IB student at GHS, straight A's. Very atletic. And i dont want to see him just **** up his life because of weed.

What can i doo.?
i want to leave telling someone like a last resort,

thanks.
Contrary to what DARE and TV commercials would have you believe, there's really nothing wrong with smoking marijuana. It is only a problem if it's interfering with other aspects of life, but then, this can be said of anything (video games, TV, alcohol, internet, etc). This is coming from someone who doesn't use marijuana, by the way.
 

Reizilla

The Old Lapras and the Sea
Joined
Mar 20, 2008
Messages
13,676
punk9, don't go to a place full of people that are teens/young adults to ask about drug (marijuana) advice. they're just as brainwashed for it as they claim older people are against it.
 

Reizilla

The Old Lapras and the Sea
Joined
Mar 20, 2008
Messages
13,676
learn to comprehend. and you're the only one with an opinion, knowledge and experience, right? and that applies universally, as well, correct?
 

RDK

Smash Hero
Joined
Jan 3, 2006
Messages
6,390
punk9, don't go to a place full of people that are teens/young adults to ask about drug (marijuana) advice. they're just as brainwashed for it as they claim older people are against it.
You're dumb.

If you were smart enough to actually research the effects of recreational marijuana use we wouldn't be having this conversation.
 

Reizilla

The Old Lapras and the Sea
Joined
Mar 20, 2008
Messages
13,676
research in controversial topics is almost always extremely biased.
 

Livvers

Used to have a porpoise
BRoomer
Joined
Jan 10, 2007
Messages
7,103
Location
North of South Carol
Lol, while I agree with you RDK, try to refrain from petty insults.

Let's drop the weed talk right now, guys. It won't convince anyone of anything and this isn't a debate thread.
 

Overload

Smash Lord
Joined
Jul 7, 2008
Messages
1,531
Location
RI
I think my situation has caused my emotions to "turn off." I don't feel anything right now. Earlier today though, I kind of went ballistic over something really dumb. That was the most enraged I've been in a long time, and I didn't really have a reason to be. Now I'm feeling nothing.
 

MattDotZeb

Smash Hero
Joined
Jan 4, 2006
Messages
6,122
Location
Quincy, MA
Brace for girlfriend fueled rant.

We hit a bit of a rough spot lately. It basically came to light after I went to one of the final nights of Game Universe (Store I've run tournaments at for 2 years, running over 20, that closed recently) with a few smashers instead of going to a dance with her that was apparently completely casual except for the fact it was senior dress up day which would have made it amazing that she didn't tell me. Anyway, I let her now early into the day and she starts saying I ditched her, yelling at me, calling me an ***, etc.

That was the day before Halloween, btw.
Then **** hit the fan when I was too stubborn to apologize, and told her to go away while I was at a party on halloween night.

She started saying how I'd been treating her badly in the last month and everything. Saying how I'm pushing her away. She likes me enough to talk it out with me and wants me to be open with her but whenever I tell her what I'm really feeling apparently it counts as pushing her away, despite when we started going out when I told her those things she would support me and calm my fears. I wish she'd still do that. We got into a few more arguments last week. We haven't had sex since she got on the pill, and I was prepared for a month of no sex anyway (For those who don't know you gotta wait a month to use no condom), but I eventually began to be bothered by a lack of sex saying how I don't want to go a month without it. Yeah, that was pretty dumb because I was basically whining and we all know how much girls love a whiner right? They don't.
Well, at the time I guess I didn't realize that. She's recently told me she isn't too much into sex, and that's why we haven't had it lately. My birthday weekend came up last weekend, and I'm thinking I finally get to try it out without the condom. lol wrong, period to the face. Then she leaves early the next day to go to her dads, and I got pretty upset over that and kind of took it out on her. Fueled by the fact it was my birthday weekend and her being with me would have been really nice instead of leaving me all bothered by the fact she left to see her dads cuz he didn't see her wednesday.
I did admit the other day that was wrong of me and all, and I guess she took the apology. Sunday we had a pretty nice conversation, reminded me of when we first started going out. Then throughout all of today I didn't get a single message from her. The reason I didn't send one to her is because I wanted to see if she'd start a conversation with me, which means she would want to talk to me. She didn't, and I didn't get anything from her which said goodnight. That... didn't really sit well with me.

My last few relationships ended somewhat like this. Minus the arguments. I have no idea how to respond the arguments. I really love this girl, and she's a great catch. I'm determined to not have it end like this.

But, as it stands I'm getting hurt by this relationship and I'm doing my best to try to fix it and I have no idea how to. I'm trying to put all those feelings behind me, and act.. normal, and it's really hard. I guess it's not how I am. It feels like I'm bottling things up and when I'm not with her I'm ready to explode, which hasn't occurred until recently..
I figure if we pull out of this then we'll be all good and happy, but I just gotta figure out how to.
<end rant/help-me post>

Um, nobody really needs to read that but I wouldn't mind anybody PMing me or replying in this thread with advice or whatevers.


Also I feel a lot better after posting this.
 

Ladybug

Smash Lord
Joined
Jul 28, 2008
Messages
1,594
Location
NorCal - San Fran
First off: Sex is an important part of a relationship if you've already had it. If the relationship has never ventured there then its no problem, but if you did it before, then it is important. If it just stops for no real reason (I mean she could have helped you out some other way for that month... and on top of that you still could have been doing it with a condom) means there's something wrong with her. She's either not into you physically or emotionally... And from the rest of that post it sounds more emotionally than physically.

When my last relationship ended it started with lack of sex (because I wasn't getting what I needed emotionally and therefore he wasn't getting what he needed physically) and then proceeded to not talking as much (as in your lack of txt), and then just not seeing each other period (as in your birthday). I would say you really need to talk to her about how you feel. Don't make it about how she's making you feel, but how you feel. "I feel this." And "I feel that". Not "well you're making me feel this way" and so on. You can say "when you do this, I feel..." but it can't sound like an attack cause that will bring up defenses and that goes no where good fast. But you -have- to talk to her because it's sounding like she's just not into you that much anymore... if at all. She's being knitpicky, looking for reasons to fight, not talking to you period... All signs that she's moved on (not to someone else, just not in love with you).

A relationship should never feel forced or that you are just going through the motions. And you say you're trying to "act normal" which is -insanely- not healthy because it will cause you to resent her in the end for acting this way and not allowing you to talk. Communication is the key to having a strong relationship and you really need to open those lines. And then let whatever happen with it happen.

If you wanna talk more (sometimes it helps when you have an outside source... I don't know you or her. :p) you can PM me, find me on AIM (youftw), or Facebook me (Monica Clayton, it's a picture of my cat). :) I'll help if I can.
 

MattDotZeb

Smash Hero
Joined
Jan 4, 2006
Messages
6,122
Location
Quincy, MA
After talking to Ladybug and Yink for a bit I feel incredibly so much better.
Yink is really upbeat and everything she said was very encouraging. Ladybug has great advice about things that may be going on in your girls head, and how you can get them out and bring yourselves closer in the process.

I wish the rep system was still in place, I'd definitely give you both some.
 

DtJ Jungle

Check out my character in #GranblueFantasy
BRoomer
Joined
Jul 29, 2008
Messages
24,020
Location
Grancypher
From the way it sounded
It sounds like it's for the best.

Sorry to hear it though.
 

ranmaru

Smash Legend
Joined
Feb 10, 2008
Messages
13,297
Switch FC
SW-0654 7794 0698
I have been coughing for like two days. I am coughing at night, and I am worried I might wake up the three other people that are sleeping in our room.
 

¯\_S.(ツ).L.I.D._/¯

Smash Legend
Joined
Apr 27, 2008
Messages
12,115
Location
Chicago, IL
Sorry to hear about it Matt... Fell better soon :urg:

Yeah so this is pretty unimportant and yet it's really pissing me off. My iTunes is not playing with volume. My computer volume is on, as is the iTunes volume. But it still won't play with volume... ****'s dumb.
 

MattDotZeb

Smash Hero
Joined
Jan 4, 2006
Messages
6,122
Location
Quincy, MA
Thanks guys. But it's whatever. I already have another girl lined up. It's not much use trying to be with somebody who doesn't have any feelings for you.
 
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