So how did Captain Falcon get so manly, anyway?

[Nowaytoeatatater]

Surely there must be a way to reach such a dangerously high level of testosterone.

 

[IcantWin]

No one can answer that, some actually think he is God, others argue his Knee caused the Big Bang. Whatever you believe, Captain Falcon is the father of all that is man, an individual who needs to be respected, feared, and envied all together. Anyone who questions his manliness will not be punished instantly, as Falcon is a patient entity.

It is not until that heretic expires that they pass on to the afterlife, in which they will be the subject to an eternity of torture... All because Falcon wanted to give them a chance and they wouldn't take it.

EDIT: omg i meest edoot su i canz sey dat this wuz muh hendridth poost!!!11!!!one!11!
!

 

[Nowaytoeatatater]

That's pretty dish.

 

[SonicZeroX]

No one can answer that, some actually think he is God, others argue his Knee caused the Big Bang. Whatever you believe, Captain Falcon is the father of all that is man, an individual who needs to be respected, feared, and envied all together. Anyone who questions his manliness will not be punished instantly, as Falcon is a patient entity.

It is not until that heretic expires that they pass on to the afterlife, in which they will be the subject to an eternity of torture... All because Falcon wanted to give them a chance and they wouldn't take it.

EDIT: omg i meest edoot su i canz sey dat this wuz muh hendridth poost!!!11!!!one!11!
!

Most epic hundredth post ever

 

[A2ZOMG]

Captain Falcon doesn't use gay things like priority, swords, projectiles, or chaingrabs to win.

The lesson to be learned is to not dope up on the good stuff. Then your manliness will be unrivaled.

 

[IcantWin]

Did I mention his nipples bleed through his tight spandex uniform? Seriously, with beastly pecs like those, the nips just make it all so much horrifying.

I mean really... if I saw a bear of a man flying at me at 80mph with his knee extended, ready to crush my skull like Gallagher owns his watermelons, I know the last thing I'd see before I was plunged into a writhing death would have to be those nipples; gleaming... shining in the moon like two silver bullets speeding toward their prey.

 

[Sh1n0b1]

It's all mom's milk...

 

[Mokai]

Captain Falcon once Falcon Punched a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.

 

[GetSmashedWithTheBros]

Ancient lore speaks of an archaic bloodline of manliness, wrought from the most macho pedigree in history. The lineage is believed to have begun in two veins, one begotten from Almighty Zeus himself, and his long-lost brother Thor, the other drawn from the great fire of Prometheus, brother of Atlas the Titan. The Dead Sea Scrolls say that these two sources united in Hercules, half man and half god, combining Prometheus' fire with the great strength of Zeus and the power of Thor. Hercules used these traits to create a twin weapons so great and so just that they was to be kept secret and be passed down to each male in this sacred order of testosterone knights. These techniques were passed down to Achilles, the next warrior in the bloodline, and used on the field of battle to ransack Troy. Later, according to Tacitus the Archiver, during the invasion of Sparta by Xerxes, King Leonidas drew on the power of the sacred lineage to massacre hordes of Persian heathens. According to the inscriptions at Stonehenge, this bloodline has been manifest in both Mr. T and Chuck Norris, whose mohawk and roundhouse kicks, respectively, are visibly a product of Zeus himself. Captain Falcon draws his great masculinity from this heritage as its most recent descendant, using the Promethian Fire in the mighty Falcon Punch (formerly termed the Phoenix Fist by its true creator, Hercules) and the Great Lightning of Thor for his Righteous Knee

 

[Nowaytoeatatater]

Ancient lore speaks of an archaic bloodline of manliness, wrought from the most macho pedigree in history. The lineage is believed to have begun in two veins, one begotten from Almighty Zeus himself, and his long-lost brother Thor, the other drawn from the great fire of Prometheus, brother of Atlas the Titan. The Dead Sea Scrolls say that these two sources united in Hercules, half man and half god, combining Prometheus' fire with the great strength of Zeus and the power of Thor. Hercules used these traits to create a twin weapons so great and so just that they was to be kept secret and be passed down to each male in this sacred order of testosterone knights. These techniques were passed down to Achilles, the next warrior in the bloodline, and used on the field of battle to ransack Troy. Later, according to Tacitus the Archiver, during the invasion of Sparta by Xerxes, King Leonidas drew on the power of the sacred lineage to massacre hordes of Persian heathens. According to the inscriptions at Stonehenge, this bloodline has been manifest in both Mr. T and Chuck Norris, whose mohawk and roundhouse kicks, respectively, are visibly a product of Zeus himself. Captain Falcon draws his great masculinity from this heritage as its most recent descendant, using the Promethian Fire in the mighty Falcon Punch (formerly termed the Phoenix Fist by its true creator, Hercules) and the Great Lightning of Thor for his Righteous Knee

...That makes perfect sense. o_o

 

[Mike Hawk]

beef jerky everyday

 

[Crooked Crow]

Captain Falcon once Falcon Punched a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.

LOLOLOL QUOTE AND SIG'D

 

[Edds]

captin falcon is manly. he takes alot of skill to become a pro in brawl.
heres why
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=lKHzd9UNuCQ

 

[Devil7]

I think some one should create a web site or thread called the facts of captain falcon. Kinda like what they did with chuck norris only with more testosterone.

 

[GetSmashedWithTheBros]

something smells like high school

 

[Grandeza]

Captain Falcon sold his soul to the devil for his manly good looks and unparalleled musclebound body. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Falcon knee'd the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play smash every second Wednesday of the month.

yeah I ripped the C. Norris joke. Sue me.

 

[BananaTrooper]

all he did was rip a chuck norris joke and put captain falcon in his place

Someone's just bitter that their huge paragraph of text has gone on to be less appreciated than 2 sentences from someone else. Cheer up pal, I still like you

 

[Mokai]

Someone's just bitter that their huge paragraph of text has gone on to be less appreciated than 2 sentences from someone else. Cheer up pal, I still like you

Thanks for trying to help Banana, but it's fine. Promise. I don't mind ignoring it if it'll keep the thread from going down in drama. XP

And on that note...

When Captain Falcon says "Show me your moves" it's not a request; it's an ultimatum.

 

[GetSmashedWithTheBros]

Touche, gentlemen, touche... I didn't want to have to do it, but...

captain falcon masturbates with sandpaper

 

[apmpnmdslkbk]

He got so manly by staring at a picture of Chuck Norris.

 

[Dead Sexy Captain Falcon]

It's just because he is that Dead Sexy

 

[acv]

everytime captain falcon speaks a person dies.

 

[∫unk]

The real question is... how did he get less manly in brawl?

 

[Hax]

Captain Falcon once Falcon Punched a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL too good i'm dying right now this was too funny LMFAO

 

[A2ZOMG]

The real question is... how did he get less manly in brawl?

He doped up on too much good stuff in 64 and Melee, and having dropped the goods, he now suffers from withdrawl symptoms.

 

[IcantWin]

Even men submit to Falcon when he screams, sweating pure testosterone; "SHOW ME YA BOOBS!!!!!!"

Yes, men and women alike tear their shirts off to the sound of sheer manliness echoing from the heavens.


@A2ZOMG: This has already been discussed, the real Falcon died sacrificing himself to rid the world of his arch nemesis and world eater; Batman. The fan boy Rick Wheeler saw this and took his place, aspiring to be the godly Falcon everyone loves so much. It is in Brawl that Wheeler assumes his position, being less manly and weirder to use.

 

[A2ZOMG]

Nah, what I heard happened is when Captain Falcon PAUNCHed his rival, he did not die, but when he recovered he went undercover as Snake.

Then Rick Wheeler took his place.

 

[apmpnmdslkbk]

The real question is... how did he get less manly in brawl?

He didnt get less manly he just told the game makers to make him appear weaker than he is in real life so that way he always kicks more *** in real life then expected.