The Mad Doctor
Sehnsucht sat in his study, carefully arranging his many manilla folders. Each one had a name scrawled on it and a lock of hair from said person...TeenGirlSquad, MorbidAltruism, MisterVideoGaming, Swampasaur...
He thumbed past twenty or so before reaching a folder slightly more worn than the others. On it a few spots of blood from months before. Quilt.
"Ah, yes, my son." moaned Sehnsucht. "This takes me back."
--
In a candlelit bedroom of the Smaesh family mansion lay Capps and CliffJumper, caught in the afterglow of what they had just done. Capps was a known womanizer and made it a point to sleep with as many of the girls in the manor as possible.
"Never speak of this to anyone, you got that?" Caps finally let out in between breaths.
"Of course. Those stuck up maids here don't know what they're missing though, Capps-sempai." whispered CliffJumper, pausing for a few minutes before breaking the silence. "Say. What do you know of that Dr. Sehnsucht fellow that lives in the tower? Lately I have been hearing shrill screams from that direction."
Capps turned his head towards CliffJumper, giving her a dark look. "Listen, *****. You are nothing more than a distraction for me. I have very important projects I'm working on concerning the upcoming release of Headmaster Samurai's work. I don't have time to entertain the gossip you and the maids spread around this manor. Besides, I wouldn't want to see a lady like you involved with those maids and butlers...they're trouble."
Embarrassed, CliffJumper turned away. "Yes, master. I apologize..."
CliffJumper was almost asleep when Capps spoke. "The doctor has experiments up there. That's all I know."
A sleepless night it was for poor CliffJumper.
--
"Fetch me some tea and see that the cats are attended to," ordered Miss Ismar. "I prefer they get the premium food today, by the way." They butlers and maids shuddered inwardly but without hesitation immediately departed from the dining hall to see her wishes were met.
"and, Swampasaur, dear? I never want to see you skimp on the cat's meals again. You know what happens to disobedient butlers." Swampasaur had a chill run through him at memories of The Real Gamer's short time as a butler. As they said around the manor, 'he went to **** and the cats ate 'em.'
It was days like this that Miss Ismar was the most temperamental. She did not like to see butlers or maids sacrificed but knew it had to be done, both for the good of the cats and to keep the keepers of the mansion in line. The Real Gamer had tried to quit the job. A foolish decision, really; it was sure to get you dismissed from life itself.
A particularly grubby butler named Venus made his way to Miss Ismar and served her her tea. "Here you go, Miss." A stalwart butler to be sure, but Miss Ismar didn't like him for some reason. His mastery of other tongues made him seem a snake to her. She was never sure what he was saying and the foreign documents he pored over for his acquaintances frightened her. Venus relished in the feeding of the cats much like the sneaky maids, N3ON and Hong did.
Sadistic by nature, Hong and N3ON loved throwing the inhabitants of Smaesh manor under the metaphorical bus more than life itself. Their father had been Duke Aerodrome and their mother, Duchess Shaya. Together their combination was that of a top class butler renowned for his ability to reform troublesome inhabitants and an oracle that could in an instant judge a situation. Shaya also made beauty a priority and was not seen in public unless offering her questionable beauty tips to commoners.
As Miss Ismar brought the tea to her lips a scream from the tower split the cool nighttime air. The disturbance echoed off the stone walls, colliding with excited yelling from the hallway two stories down until they faded away.
"A report...and potential excessive merriment." muttered Ismar. "FalKoopa, come here." FalKoopa tripped on himself as he sprinted over to Miss Ismar, kneeling before her.
"...Go."
--
"Ahaha! Truly, we live in blessed times!" A joyous ToasterBrains declared to the dinner table he was situated at. Tonight was the celebration of not just a wedding, but a birth and an engagement.
The newlyweds, Vegito and Mega Bidoof looked at each other fondly. Mega Bidoof curled a loving arm around his wife's waist.
ToasterBrains spoke up again. "Not only do we get to celebrate the wedding of two of our good friends, but just last night..."
"P-Please! Not so loud..." Kaye Cruiser spoke out, interrupting ToasterBrains.
"What the hell's the matter, you ain't proud of confessing your love to MorbidAltruism?" ToasterBrains was testing Kaye.
"She may not like it." said Kaye, clearly flustered.
Unanimously, the table said, "MorbidAltruism
likes everything!"
ToasterBrains continued. "Ahahahaha! Anyway, Kaye and Morbid are now engaged. As for my own news, I have something to announce." ToasterBrains looked on to his own wife, Kermit the Ninja. She nodded in encouragement.
"After trying repeatedly...for months!" Kermit playfully elbowed ToasterBrains.
"She's pregnant!" The table cheered and TewnLeenk continued his applause and merriment for a few awkward seconds after everyone else. He had clearly had too much to drink.
There was some nervous looking around and ToasterBrains said in a hushed tone, "I swear I heard a scream while we were cheering there." Whispers grew into chaos. Moments later the butlers raced through the dining room and captured MorbidAltruism, Kermit, and Mega Bidoof, taking them for further questioning and excessive merriment. Their lovers cried...sometimes people never returned from questioning.
--
Sehnsucht secured the belts and bungee cords around the nude Backgammon, who was unconscious and under the effects of some drug.
"This won't take long at all, now."
On a series of tables were HunterNinjaReaperPirate the 98th, the entirety of The Light Music Club, and Nielicus strapped in in a similar fashion. The Light Music Club fantasized about perverted situations in their slumber.
A knock on the door interrupted the proceedings.
Sehnsucht straightened his back and cleared his throat.
"
Erhm. Quilt, my son?"
"Yes, father."
"You will have to leave for now. Father is...busy." Sehnsucht walked over to a knight stand where his scimitar lay.
"It is urgent, father. I am concerned that when you do this, you will excite the butlers."
"It is no concern. I have only a couple steps until even the butlers can not reverse these events, my son. As bad as this must look right now, I only wish to steal their souls and make love to their corpses."
"Father, let me in."
"That is not possible, my son. I have swallowed the key. Tell me, Quilt, my son...tell me, how is your mother...?"
There was silence.
"Father, please..."
"That is right, my son. You have no mother. You were created by me. You best remember that, my son. Sehnsucht slowly paced over to the door and slid open the peep hole ever so slightly. Quilt waited until he saw the eye of his creator and stabbed in blind rage.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHH" wailed Sehnsucht. "You...! Are...a fool!"
A bloodied Sehnsucht flailed around on the floor. The prisoners rose from their slumber and began panicking at their situation, save The Light Music Club which whispered among themselves how this was just like their Japanese animes.
As Quilt heard the butlers beginning to race up the cobblestone steps he held the knife to his chest. "They will kill me. It is better to die like this!"
--
Sehnsucht heard Quilt draw his last breaths. Smiling, he reached his fingers down his throat and made himself vomit out oatmeal and a key. He opened the door and dragged the lifeless Quilt into the frame of the door, planted the key into his hand and switched his knife for his own scimitar.
With one hand over his bad eye he made his way over to the screaming girls.
"Shut up or I kill you all." He waited until they calmed down.
"If you're asked what has happened here...you, by will, are my ...
partners. We were just playing a game when this psycho came in and tried to kill me. It was self defense, ok?
Frostwraith 's avatar is NOT a guy with a zebra hair disorder?
(Also, nice remix.)
