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Official Critique Topic

Neon!

Smash Lord
Joined
Nov 7, 2010
Messages
1,285
Location
Dallas, Texas
I'm currently taking a Black & White Photography Class, and the following I believe is my best piece.

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Geist

Smash Master
Joined
Sep 26, 2007
Messages
4,893
Location
Menswear section

yeah/no? do you guys still do sigs?
I guess I missed this post lol
whoops
I'll reply anyways

The color scheme is there, and it's the strongest attribute working for you, but all-in-all it's hurting for both composition and focus.
The rapidash here, I think we can safely assume, is the prime subject of the sig, but it takes up less space than any other element in the composition, and because it's also being covered by the geometric elements in the FG, it doesn't function as a midground subject - it feels to me like almost more of a bg object, or an afterthought. It's placed in an area that I guess technically follows the rule of thirds, but it doesn't actually do anything with that position overall.

Altogether the shapes also feel like they're not working very harmoniously. In the fg you have very sharp edged, solid color objects that cut across diagonally, then in the bg you have very soft edged, gradient colored clouds that cover the sig horizontally. I'm just not feeling the rapidashness of either of those choices, at least when they're competing to work together. It's wholly possible that you could stick with one theme from the two you have, and create more of a jagged bg, and vice versa, you could create rounder, more fire-shaped geometric shapes in the FG, but combined, it's lacking synergy.

Also consider the direction the spikes are pointing. It'll lead the eye from one area to the next depending on the direction, and at the moment they bring my eye from the top of the canvas (near that bright-ish light spot at the top left), down to about the mid-right point of the bottom of the canvas, and then to nowhere. All in all, it's hard to keep focus on the rapidash when all the other lines are telling you to look away from it.

So my recommendations would be to have a much larger rapidash, perhaps not quite able to touch both the top and bottom edge of the canvas at the same time, but large enough that it can demand a bit more attention and can feel like the subject of the sig. If enlarging it isn't a possibility due to resolution or something, it's also completely possible to simply crop the canvas (mostly at the bottom)
It would also be worth considering adding more of a firey theme or stick more consistently with the sharp spikes to give it a feeling of quickness and speed.
Sometimes adding borders helps frame the entire composition, so I'd consider also experimenting with those.
Keep the color scheme though, it works.
 

Master Ppv

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Dec 2, 2007
Messages
271
Location
Springfield, Illinois
I'm currently taking a Black & White Photography Class, and the following I believe is my best piece.

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[/collapse]

I'll reply for this since it never got one. Hope Neon sees this.

Are you using film? It looks like it but I can't be sure.

It looks like the focus is just very slightly off. Are you focusing manually? Try to make sure your focus is dead-on, unless of course you're going for a softer feel in the image.

That being said, this is certainly an interesting subject. Lots of texture here to play with. Well exposed too, and I like the depth of field. Not too shallow and not too deep. I usually like more contrast in my B&W photography but that's a personal preference. This is nice.

Are you still in the class? I'd like to see something more recent considering this was a few months back.



All right, my turn. It's been a while since I posted in this thread, but if anyone remembers I also do a little photography.

Here's some of my stronger work. This is one of my best friends. Another friend did her hair and makeup and we shot for a good two or three hours back in February 2011. I almost dislike looking at this photo nowadays because both of them ended up in the Air Force and I miss them both to all hell :(

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And another piece - this one from May 2011. A friend and I got a very elaborate but also very hacked-together setup going for this and he fired a BB gun at water balloons while I tried to time the shot properly. We didn't have a sound trigger that we could use so the timing was entirely manual... This was pretty much the best we got.

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[/collapse]
 

Vinylic.

Woke?
Joined
Jul 15, 2010
Messages
15,866
Location
New York, New York
Switch FC
SW-5214-5959-4787
Still at full sail, and I'm about to show you guys some recent stuff I made with my right hand instead of my dominant one.

[collapse=Extended Contour]
[/collapse]

[collapse=Blind Extended contour]
[/collapse]

[collapse=Hands with loose gesture and construction]
[/collapse]

[collapse=Another hand. (Pinkie finger is not good, I know.)]
[/collapse]

Any feedback is appreciated and respected. I got a long way to go.
 

Chronodiver Lokii

Chaotic Stupid
BRoomer
Joined
Aug 11, 2009
Messages
5,846
Location
NEOH
Contours are great when you can't use your dominant hand. We'd have to do blind contours with our weaker hands back in grade school and high school. SO FUN! O W O

For your gestures, you are focusing wayyy too much on trying to make the lines
Gesture drawings are about creating the forms and movement of the subject down
You just have to let yourself quickly sketch out the forms, then you can work on refining if you REALLY feel as though its necessary.

Bren and Aly will probably have better stuff to say on the matter
 

Master Ppv

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Dec 2, 2007
Messages
271
Location
Springfield, Illinois
I don't know anything about contours or whatnot so my initial reaction was a bit bemused but I suppose it's just not my department... Sorry I can't offer more :(

Also, I would REALLY appreciate critique on the stuff I posted above, if anyone's willing to oblige :(
 

Geist

Smash Master
Joined
Sep 26, 2007
Messages
4,893
Location
Menswear section
Still at full sail, and I'm about to show you guys some recent stuff I made with my right hand instead of my dominant one.

[collapse=Extended Contour]
[/collapse]

[collapse=Blind Extended contour]
[/collapse]

[collapse=Hands with loose gesture and construction]
[/collapse]

[collapse=Another hand. (Pinkie finger is not good, I know.)]
[/collapse]

Any feedback is appreciated and respected. I got a long way to go.
It's hard to give an accurate critique if you're not using your dominant hand lol

Regardless, for blind contours, try to concentrate more on the namesake of the exercise and focus on contour and not just on drawing a single line. You should be practicing tracing out the edges of the figure accurately, it's more important than whether or not you're doing the whole thing with a single line. The exercise should train your brain to track your hand movements more accurately, and while drawing everything with a single line could sort of function as a handicap for this when you're first doing these, imo it's better in the long run to jump ahead and practice lifting your pencil anyways. After all, that's how you naturally draw. I hope.

as for the hands, try getting more organic and confident lines. I know you're using your off-hand, but you might as well try for good practice. Each line you draw should be more or less planned ahead of time. Long accurate sweeping lines are always always always better than short scribbly ones.

Other than that, you just require more practice, so draw until your fingers get blisters and you'll know you've started to draw enough.





I'll reply for this since it never got one. Hope Neon sees this.

Are you using film? It looks like it but I can't be sure.

It looks like the focus is just very slightly off. Are you focusing manually? Try to make sure your focus is dead-on, unless of course you're going for a softer feel in the image.

That being said, this is certainly an interesting subject. Lots of texture here to play with. Well exposed too, and I like the depth of field. Not too shallow and not too deep. I usually like more contrast in my B&W photography but that's a personal preference. This is nice.

Are you still in the class? I'd like to see something more recent considering this was a few months back.



All right, my turn. It's been a while since I posted in this thread, but if anyone remembers I also do a little photography.

Here's some of my stronger work. This is one of my best friends. Another friend did her hair and makeup and we shot for a good two or three hours back in February 2011. I almost dislike looking at this photo nowadays because both of them ended up in the Air Force and I miss them both to all hell :(

[collapse=1]
[/collapse]


And another piece - this one from May 2011. A friend and I got a very elaborate but also very hacked-together setup going for this and he fired a BB gun at water balloons while I tried to time the shot properly. We didn't have a sound trigger that we could use so the timing was entirely manual... This was pretty much the best we got.

[collapse=1]
[/collapse]


They're good man. I like your value range in the first one, though I can't help but feel your midrange should be sliiiightly darker. Nitpicking of course. Good composition too. A bit of blur in the back-most region of the veil and her hair, but it seems to feel more intentional than accidental at least.

Second pic is cool, I love high shutter speeds. C:
If you ever do something like that again, try experimenting with backlighting. You can get some really nice refraction effects.

I don't feel like I have too much else to say about them, I'm not exactly well versed in photography.
 

dettadeus

Smash Lord
Joined
Nov 13, 2010
Messages
1,954
Location
drowning in pixels
Anyone with a good handle on shading wanna help me with this?

(totoro, the girl is just there for size comparison)
Light source is almost directly above Totoro, offset about 10-20 degrees in front of him and 5-10 to his left (our right).
I'm mostly having trouble figuring out what to do for the highlight on the umbrella to make it match the shadows on the rest of the sprite.
 

Geist

Smash Master
Joined
Sep 26, 2007
Messages
4,893
Location
Menswear section
Well in all honesty if the light was directly ABOVE, there would be no shadows in the sense that you're attempting.

Don't think of shadows as some sort of tangible object that must be there simply because there is light. All a shadow is, after all, is an absence of light. A shadow is less a projection of an object, and more a default value of a surface.
In a nutshell, light is additive, but shadows are not subtractive.

So it follows that you want to treat light in more of the way the average person treats shadows, and it's interesting that the correct way to treat shadow vs light is actually completely opposite to how the average person treats it.

Tangents aside, what you'll want is a thin band of light to be hitting the umbrella at the high points of each section at the top. This will probably look unnatural if you stick it right in the middle of each section, so you'll probably want to pull the band over to the right a bit. To make it more organic, each section could be highlighted by a triangular shaped band that runs from the top and divides each section of the umbrella roughly in half (preferably with a curved line)
 

Master Ppv

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Dec 2, 2007
Messages
271
Location
Springfield, Illinois
They're good man. I like your value range in the first one, though I can't help but feel your midrange should be sliiiightly darker. Nitpicking of course. Good composition too. A bit of blur in the back-most region of the veil and her hair, but it seems to feel more intentional than accidental at least.

Second pic is cool, I love high shutter speeds. C:
If you ever do something like that again, try experimenting with backlighting. You can get some really nice refraction effects.

I don't feel like I have too much else to say about them, I'm not exactly well versed in photography.

Thanks bud. This is the best of a few different edits. I usually like a little more contrast but I found that I started to lose detail in the hair and lips when I turned it up. Thanks though. And you're right, that was intentional. Just a shallow depth of field. Deep enough to have most things in focus and to not completely lose the detail in the back (I want you know that there's hair and a veil there lol) but shallow enough that the attention remains on the lips and "tears".

As for the second - believe it or not, this wasn't even a very high speed. Using flashes means you can only go up to whatever your camera's sync speed is, and for mine that's 1/200th of a second. Still high, just not anywhere in the range of 1/800th or above ;)

I want to backlight for sure next time. We didn't have space in my friend's garage to set up behind the thing without the flashes getting really wet from the explosions, so instead we opted to set them directly to the left and right of the balloon.

Thanks again. Since you didn't post anything to critique, I'm not sure if I'm allowed to. But if so, here. Have a ball with this =)

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[/collapse]
 

Zeros

Smash Cadet
Joined
Oct 15, 2006
Messages
37
Location
Waldorf
Ganon Fan Art!!
I made the mistake of making a thread before checking the forum rules and I apologize for that.

But here's the work, wondering what you guys think about it.

 

Evoke

Smash Apprentice
Joined
Nov 29, 2010
Messages
122
Location
New York
Oops, forgot to post back. Thanks Geist (is that mensweardogs?)



The cloud thing going on in the back doesn't really work too well with it I guess
 

Snuc

Smash Apprentice
Joined
Mar 21, 2011
Messages
79
Location
Omaha, NE
@Evoke: If you're looking for feedback on that piece, I do think that the cloud works in version 2, but the perpendicular line on the far right distracts my eyes from the focal. I think that the inner rendering of the fractal that you used is too sharply cut (i can see a sharp line of pixels) and it lies right on one of your points from the rule of thirds.The piece could use some smudging, but all in all it has a solid feel. I think just work on the sharpness and the motion flow.

 

global-wolf

Smash Champion
Joined
Jan 17, 2010
Messages
2,215
Location
Northern Virginia
Evoke, it looks somewhat like she's lying back and being stabbed in the stomach. I think it would work better if she was on the right side of the composition.
 

Sun-Wukong

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Nov 24, 2007
Messages
392
Location
Eastern Kentucky
I made this the other day. I just thought it was amusing. I'm not looking for art critique so much whether or not people find it funny, though anything constructive is of course welcome.
 

Geist

Smash Master
Joined
Sep 26, 2007
Messages
4,893
Location
Menswear section
Who needs berries when you got swag
True story, a while ago I doodled an oddish doing the same thing only I put 'dat grass' beside it
so I approve

Drawing on lined paper hurts my feelings though, don't do it *fist shake*
 

Sun-Wukong

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Nov 24, 2007
Messages
392
Location
Eastern Kentucky
Drawing on lined paper hurts my feelings though, don't do it *fist shake*
Sorry, it started off as a notebook doodle, but I was proud so I decided to ink and color it. I may do it again on better paper and, you know, use a scanner instead of my webcam.

I would like to see that Oddish, though.
 

NoDes

Smash Cadet
Joined
May 13, 2013
Messages
27
Location
Newyork
I doodle stuff and im working this drawings and a few others
http://24.media.tumblr.com/8eccdd64597c5f52ed476164b53bf44f/tumblr_mojj3nliGP1rvvx50o1_400.jpg
http://25.media.tumblr.com/9d330a0cd49c4dfc868afc5169872548/tumblr_mojj7pioZK1rvvx50o1_500.jpg
im really interested in hacking Brawl. if i can get my hands on a computer this summer and learn a few things i'll be replacing portraits and icons along with textures and models with my own artwork.
not the best quality and the angle is akward and its not done but send me feedback if you like!
 

Geist

Smash Master
Joined
Sep 26, 2007
Messages
4,893
Location
Menswear section
It aint bad
Remember if you're offsetting one leg out in your pose, the hips are going to follow and have a slanted angle to them. In turn, the shoulders will pivot opposite to the angle of the hips. Flat hips and shoulders are a super common mistake.
Practice keeping your lines cleaner and 'swoopier'. If a surface is one continuing piece, the line should follow that. This way if you want to do a surface that actually is rough and broken up, it'll contrast with the rest of your drawing.
im really interested in hacking Brawl. if i can get my hands on a computer this summer and learn a few things i'll be replacing portraits and icons along with textures and models with my own artwork.
not the best quality and the angle is akward and its not done but send me feedback if you like!

Yeah I was super close to working in the P:M team as an artist but stuff came up and I had to turn them down. It definitely seems like a fun thing to do.
 

NoDes

Smash Cadet
Joined
May 13, 2013
Messages
27
Location
Newyork
Thanks, honestly means alot!
Im not very confident in my work so im always experimenting. I reflect art styles of others some times (depends on what im drawing).
I do have better drawings but i have alot of paper and im sort of limited with the internet...
i dont have much substance or knowledge either when it comes to drawing. Only 15 and i dont go to a great school for this kind of stuff so i never really know any of my mistakes, so this is really useful.
Thanks again, wouldn't mind keeping in touch would you?
 

Geist

Smash Master
Joined
Sep 26, 2007
Messages
4,893
Location
Menswear section
Yeah that's actually pretty respectable drawing talent for being 15

Thanks again, wouldn't mind keeping in touch would you?

Like Lokii said, we have a skype chat that's full of artists, you're welcome to join it. It has a pretty wide range of talent on there, everywhere from beginners to professionals working in games and movies.
I check my inbox here every once in a while too so feel free to PM me or post more work here.
 

Evil-Guy

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Mar 2, 2009
Messages
416
Location
Cats Eye Nebula Constellation: Draco
I have not posted here in a while and I want to say hi again :(


Still at full sail, and I'm about to show you guys some recent stuff I made with my right hand instead of my dominant one.

[collapse=Extended Contour]
[/collapse]

[collapse=Blind Extended contour]
[/collapse]

[collapse=Hands with loose gesture and construction]
[/collapse]

[collapse=Another hand. (Pinkie finger is not good, I know.)]
[/collapse]

Any feedback is appreciated and respected. I got a long way to go.
Hey, when doing those blind contours, try mixing the line-width up. Less bold lines for the light areas, and bold for the darker areas. :bee: Just a suggestion, it might be fun!

The first one has things that don't make sense. Why is Togekiss very sad looking? Why are all their facial expressions very different, and why does Lucario look amorous? The way you draw him/her does not help, the lines on his/her body are more smooth and sensual as if all done in one stroke, and his/her pose gives me the impression that he/she is in a mild state of shock. The boy in the center has ambiguous looking things on his cheeks, its hard to determine if they're highlights or just him blushing, its kind of cool to look at, it reminds me of those inverted highlights that was a trend back in Korea :)

The rest are adorable :bee: I think this stuff is really distinct, nice style!
 

NoDes

Smash Cadet
Joined
May 13, 2013
Messages
27
Location
Newyork
thanks a lot! that drawing is actually finished now lol
i wish i caould post it now i but i actually dont have it ;;;;;
 

PsychoIncarnate

The Eternal Will of the Swarm
Joined
Jul 4, 2007
Messages
50,538
Location
Char
NNID
PsychoIncarnate
3DS FC
4554-0155-5885
How is this lower third animation

It should probably show the persons name and info a bit longer, but what about the in and out animation?


It's for a school project. A Jerry Springer parody thing

Not my choice, but it's my job to make the animation

---

Edit: I already noticed a problem I don't like. There is a split second before the name and info part vanishes that you can see the edge of it
 

Veishi336

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Sep 23, 2013
Messages
215
Location
Decatur,GA
Hey you all! umm im just curious on how you all would critique some of my sketches and one of my finished pieces. They are both extremely recent and surprisingly i havent drawn anything in about 8 months.

here is a sketch of a new char i drew yesterday:


and here is his outfit im trying to go with:


and here is a chibi sketch of a random char i thought of:


then its colored form (colored by my bro)
 

Church NEOH

Worst Player in NEOH
Joined
Aug 2, 2013
Messages
97
Location
HoF City, OH
Had to draw an exotic fruit and make a poster out of it. We had many sketches and such. Please let me know what you think :)





 

Little Nemo

The Dream Master
Joined
Oct 18, 2012
Messages
357
Location
Moses Lake, WA
NNID
LockableFaceman
Whoa. The fruits separately look strange but all together it comes together beautifully.

I'm not really looking for Critique. I just wanted to share. These are both a few years old. I don't really draw any more. I don't have time for it and I just get depressed when I draw lol
Also... Bump? I'm sorry. Though this is stickied... oh well.


 

D-idara

Banned via Administration
Joined
Jul 8, 2012
Messages
3,240
Location
Venezuela
NNID
D-idara
3DS FC
4511-0670-4622
LockableFaceman, the only glaring problems I can see with the first pic are Megaman's leg not being aligned with the perspective of his body...and Airman's arms look...kinda weird?

How do these chibis look~?
[collapse=First one's Scarlet!]
[/collapse]
[collapse=And then Luna :3]
[/collapse]
Scarlet's a zombie stripper while Luna's a cyclops huntress. Oh...and is it me...or is Photobucket's new layout A PAIN IN THE ASS!?
 

PsychoIncarnate

The Eternal Will of the Swarm
Joined
Jul 4, 2007
Messages
50,538
Location
Char
NNID
PsychoIncarnate
3DS FC
4554-0155-5885
Here's something I made recently for Media class

I'm not sure what you'd call it though. "Animation" I guess

 
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