I've been doing some pretty intense self-reflection (Thanks, Cori, for showing me the difference between what I used to call "Self-reflection," and what is.) I've realized that once I'm actually in a decent mood, and a decent mindset, that maybe I don't want to quit smash at all. Derek and John are pretty accurate. Not entirely accurate, since they don't know me as well, as, say, Jackie, but a lot of what they've said was mostly right.
I get extremely frustrated. Not very easily, mind you, as I've played this game for 7 long years, but when I DO get frustrated, it's pretty intense. John also pointed out that some of those frustrations are seemingly arbitrary, and I definitely overreact. It's due to an overabundance of stress, both smash related, and not.
The more I've been thinking, the more I realize that I can't get on by myself anymore. I don't know how soon it will happen, but I'm going to start seeing professionals for my problems, again. The reason why my problems have been progressively getting worse, and worse was my refusal for treatment. I wanted to try so badly to keep off medication, as I spent the majority of my life on a cocktail of anti-depressants, tranquilizers, anti anxiety medication, medication to control my asthma, medication to control my OCD, medication to control my acid reflux...
I'm sorry that it took me this long to realize my problems, and that it took me this long to realize that I just can't handle myself anymore, and need help.