Most Epic/Funny/Lame Johns

[Talazala]

-My B button is sticky
-I didn't know tapping the R and L to shield doesn't work in Brawl.

I've hurd these before.

 

[ph00tbag]

Not really a John, but still amusing.

Dr. Peepee three stocks me:
Me: Man, I could have at least gotten one stock off if I hadn't tripped after that dsmash. **** tripping! **** Brawl! I quit!
PP: I really hope I haven't made you quit, man.

PP's a pretty nice dude when he's not making you feel like a worthless sack of manure at this game.

Also:

My teammate: "We obviously weren't trying hard enough, bro."

 

[SothE700k]

Yesterday I went to a games club and there was Brawl. In the middle of a game (4 person free for all), I double jump (full hop off the edge) and b-air her to her death.
She starts spouting, "You know, I don't go doing those kinds of things. It's so noobish."

The remaining players playing start cheering for her.

 

[The Real Gamer]

"You only won cause you're black"- My good friend next door.

 

[Sgt Isaac]

"My shoes were untied!"
"My controller wasn't connected."
"I only lost so I could use this awesome John on you."

 

[Dark Ryu]

"You only won cause you're black"- My good friend next door.

hahaha eesh! sounds like me!

 

[Denzi]

"I would've won if my opponent hadn't played better than me."

 

[KRDsonic]

"I only lost because some guy named John took the controller from my hands"

"I sucked in that match because I accidentally used the wrong color"

 

[Denzi]

"I only suicided three times because I didn't want you to use your side taunt"

-Me vs. Sonic

 

[King Funk]

"I stopped the game because you used teh chaingrab!"

Wolf vs. Me (Falco)

 

[Kevin]

One time this guy told me he lost because he sucked what a horrible john

 

[alex3]

one time this guy told me he lost because he got pressured too easily

 

[DominusHaven]

"mine would be today i was playing my bro in Melee and he doesnt know anything about the game, and neither do i, so we were even. since i normally pwn him in Brawl everytime i won hed say "its not fair, this game doesnt let me john as much b/c were even." xD"

This was the best john I have ever heard.

 

[K 2]

"You only win because you chaingrab me too much" ...says a falco mainer.

 

[MBlaze]

-I wasn't trying (Sandbagging) /I didn't feel like playing

-My controller was screwed up

-You grab too much (I'm a Mario user xD)

 

[mc4]

"snake is top tier"

 

[Cloud Cleaver]

"...you *****."

"You *******, you unplugged my controller!" (Hey, the guy was being a ***** with that ****ed fan. I told them NO ITEMS.)

"...Ike's not even top tier, is he?"


Some of mine:


(In a Maxwell Smart voice) "Missed it by that much!" after failing to wall-grapple or tether by a small distance.

"...well THAT makes me feel good."

"I need an excuse."

"Too bad I lost better than you won."

"Yeah, well, statistically I'm still better than you."

"Oh, you killed me with a Golden Hammer. What skill, sir. What skill indeed."

 

[M.K]

Me and my friend Brian John for fun all the time:

"I ONLY lost because it was a cold day and my hair was itchy and a dog walked by and I just had to pet it"

 

[SothE700k]

I beat my friend and he says, "I'm grabbing the champion's drink!"
Me: "Champion's drink!? You lost!"
Him: "F*** you! I'm the champ!"
*he grabs orange soda*
Me: "...Are you kidding me."
Him: "What's wrong with that!?"
*steals his orange soda and drinks it*
Me: "In the wrong hands ^_-"

 

[hectichobo]

I told my friend the other day that: "There are to many clouds in the sky, forcing the smash god to not realize I am in need of help. So technically, I would have won"

 

[Ryusuta]

There's only a three situations in which I john: items, banned stages, and FFAs in which I'm teamed up on throughout the full match.

 

[LinIsKorean]

One that I recently heard was :

"Dude, I swear, there was a fly buzzing in front of me right before you killed me!"

lulz

 

[Agi]

You can't edgehog, that isn't fair.

^
| Every time we play...

 

[Wrath`]

"I gimped myself" my friend playing ZZS who was a bit daring with the D-air

 

[justaway12]

sister: "oh you killed me twice"
me: "yeah"
sister: "hey can you fall down twice"

 

[Fire!]

"Don't throw me off the edge."

 

[Tianxiazhai]

Me: Are you sure you can play after your 16 hour flight?
Friend: Yeah, i dont get jet lagg
( I Win)
Friend: **** that jetlagg.