LGBT Smashers

[Bassoonist]

Definitely moreso than homosexuality.

There is definitely more bias against transgendered/transsexual people than there is homosexuals... If I were to come out, I would be hated by my family an many people I know...and I probably wouldn't be getting any jobs I want in the future. >_<

 

[Aeronite's Kiseki]

Oh Bassoonist, i feel so srry for ya, y'now?.....Yea, transgenders gets more flak, but I in my opinion, i dont mind it at all

 

[SU_Remo]

I even know some gay people who aren't okay with transgendered people and transsexuals. It's pretty ridiculous.

 

[Bassoonist]

Even though I am transgendered, I can understand why people feel this way sometimes.

We are portrayed in media, and society in general as sex obsessed, or not passing at all... This makes people scared. I wish they'd reverse that image. I know that it's mainly for humor, but I'm sick of the stupid stereotypes. And I also hate most of the terms. I just want to be called a girl, nothing more.

 

[Eor]

I'm actually curious about this, so I hope you don't mind me asking.

Is it just that you feel like you're a woman in a man's body, and that's it?

That's a type of feeling no one can relate to, so I think that might be a problem. Plus you're all pictured as being cross dressing "freaks".

 

[Bassoonist]

Yeah... Not many can relate to it, but they should at least, you know, be supportive. Because of the fact that nobody is supportive I'm stuck being myself on the internet and only the internet. >_>

I'm not a freak, I'm just a person. I wish people could see that.

 

[Aeronite's Kiseki]

I see that ur a real nice person, I never base off of looks i always wanna get to know a person, I mean Bassoonist, you seem really cool, yet laid back sometimes, and i praise that your wanting to show ur real stuff jus wish u didnt have all that mess to deal with in the process

 

[adumbrodeus]

I think the reason being transgendered is considered worse then being gay is (at least as the media portrays it) it's much more visible. Even the stereotypical gay guy isn't as ostentatious as a guy dressed in women's clothes, and even post-op as popularly portrayed just "don't fit" and as such are easily recognizable.

If you're not transexual, it's difficult to understand what it's like, and if you're hetrosexual it's even more difficult to understand.

I definitely find it very difficult to understand how somebody can feel like they're a different gender, but I'm better then most people who share my sexuality because I recognize the stereotypes for what they are, baseless.

Ultimately, it's not about understanding though, it's about tolerance, and making people realize that different is not bad, just different.

The hurdles are higher for transexuality, but ultimately it's the same hurdle.

And Clueless is just a Jane Austen ripoff.

How can something be a rip-off of something if it was created with the intention of adapting the work to modern times and credits the work.

It's only a rip-off if it doesn't credit the original work as source material, and clueless was meant to be a modern adaptation of Emma.

 

[diabetic_yoshi]

Thanks for the support on the Clueless argument, Adumbrodeus.

Yeah, I really didn't understand the whole transsexual mindset until I read "She's Not There" by Jennifer Boylan. Really good book btw. The woman is a male-to-female and she writes about her life in a way that makes it easy for those who have no knowledge of who transsexuals are to understand better. See, before I always thought transsexual=gay, but that's not the case.

And I hope this question isn't rude or too personal either, but how have your guys' relationships been like in the past? I haven't ever had a boyfriend past the one-month mark. They always turned out to be closet-whores.

 

[.:~*Momo*~:.]

One day I'll have an actual answer for that question... one day...

And I can't understand transexuality myself... but it doesn't matter as long as you're nice as a person and not some jerk or wannabe... or both! >=O Though I don't necessarily mean you Bassoonist, I mean anybody. =3

 

[Yuna-Maria]

Even though I am transgendered, I can understand why people feel this way sometimes.

We are portrayed in media, and society in general as sex obsessed, or not passing at all... This makes people scared. I wish they'd reverse that image. I know that it's mainly for humor, but I'm sick of the stupid stereotypes. And I also hate most of the terms. I just want to be called a girl, nothing more.

I already know the source of those stereotypes, hon. That's why I tell all my friends that Chris Crocker needs to die.

 

[Andydark]

Some guys feel the need to portray the stereotype because otherwise they're invisible.

And quite frankly, I fined the stereotypes for the LGBT community to be disgusting.

 

[SkylerOcon]

I hate people who make LGBT stereotypes. Every ******* jock in my school enjoys coming up to me regularly and asking me out for the laughs. I just flip them off and tell them to go back to playing slap-***, tackle football, and spending countless hours in steamy group showers.

They all assume that I like every guy I see, just because I like guys. And I'm not even gay! I'm bisexual. They apparently don't get the difference, and even after I explain it all they seem to say is: "...so you're gay."

No! I'm not gay. Get it right, you conceded idiots.

 

[.:~*Momo*~:.]

They are idiots... 99.9% of the guys I know in real life are losers I wouldn't waste my time with... either that or I just don't like them like that. ^^; That actually pisses me off, they seem to think so highly of themselves or at least high enough for all gay/bi people to fall in love with them at first sight... as if they're so great... <.<;

 

[Andydark]

See, one way to deal with guys like that is to be like "Alright then big guy, what do you wanna do?"

And get all flirty.

Worked for me...

 

[diabetic_yoshi]

I don't recommend that, unless it's REALLY obvious you're being sarcastic. After all, we are dealing with homophobic idiots here.

My advice: Destroy their self-confidence. Pick apart everything superficial you don't like about them. Their hair, their shoes, that thing he does with his lip when talking. Don't just outright insult him either, be sly about it. He'll definitely notice and get defensive. And if you're really good, you'll be able to view the aftermath of him retreating to his friends and pout about how mean the gay guy was to him.

 

[Andydark]

See, but that's starting drama. The reason why they insult is because they don't know. The joke is a way to let them know that you're not so high and mighty as to not laugh at yourself periodically.

Getting *****y will yield drama. The odds of a straight jocky type to "pout with his friends" after a gay guy insults "That thing he does with his lip" is slim to none. Odds are you'll get pushed into a locker and told to "Shut up, you little ***."

I had the exact same experiences, cracked a joke like that, they were dumbstruck, and I said, "Nah, just kidding. Too feminine for me, but seriously, it's getting kind of old."

Then it turned into a casual conversation, and we became friends after a while. The misconceptions taught about homosexuality...you need to do something about it. Don't help the negativity by being *****y and aiming for superficial traits. Because THAT's a stereotype. It's a bit contradictory. "I am not a stereotypical gay, but since you asked, let's talk about FABULOUS buttsecks."

Don't hate, educate.

...I could kill myself for a lot of the cheesy things I said in this post, but it's the truth.

 

[diabetic_yoshi]

I understand where you're coming from, and that's why I added the disclaimer to not outright insult the guy. Just treat him the same way he treats you, hold a mirror up to him and show how flawed and pointless his arguments are. If you also noticed, I insulted all the superficial stuff that doesn't mean ****. I never personally attack his overall character.

And things are maybe a little different for me in that I'm tall and somewhat physically intimidating, moreso than the guys who usually tried picking on me.

It seems you and me just have different methods about doing the same thing. Personally I'm not someone who could pull the faux-seduction off. I found that my bullies responded more to something on their level than what you suggest, Andydark. Again, different strokes I guess.

 

[.:~*Momo*~:.]

I'd be too afraid to try any of that stuff... I'm the type of person who'd just let it slide and walk away... I hate any form of confrontation so if somebody bothers me I just laugh it off or ignore them. @_@; I'm too much of a baby to stand up for myself basically. ^^; I mean one time I got hot sauced at my locker in front of everybody and almost everybody was laughing... I did nothing, I just walked away with my friend pretty embarrassed and when it was mentioned by another guy later on I just laughed it off... I mean I didn't even know who did it and if I wanted to start a fight I'd make myself look like more of an idiot since I can't even yell. @_@; There's also another time when I fell outside and everybody (including me) was laughing, and later when I went to wash my hands in the bathroom this group of guys was talking about it and pointed at me... I once again just laughed it off and continued to my homeroom. O_o;

 

[blink777]

Mmm... hot sauce.

Weehee, I actually have stories of my own to tell now! Sure, they won't be near the awesomeness of everyone else's, but I can try.

Finally came out to my mother the other day. As I said earlier, I meant to tell my parents on the car ride from visiting them back home. Unfortunately, plans changed and I wound up having to take the train back to my apartment. I couldn't stand that I still hadn't told them, so when I got to Toronto, I phoned and told my mom. Not the way I wanted to do it, but I just couldn't stand the thought of waiting another few months.

I can't say if that went well or not though. She was by no means negative, and she did the whole "I still love you" bit, but her initial reaction was a big "No you're not". I'm reminded now that as a kid she told me that homosexuality is a "choice"... I'll have to bring that up next time I see her, and figure out if she still believes that bull. So yeah, the majority of the conversation was just "Are you sure?" and "It's a harder life." She asked me at one point how I knew... How the heck do you answer that?

So I can't say that that conversation made me feel much better about it all, but it definitely didn't make me feel worse and it was good to get it out there.

The next day I went to visit some friends from high school/college. By around 1 AM or so, conversation was starting to die, people were getting sleepy, and "The Lion King" in Italian was losing its charm. So I just came out and told them I was gay. The two girls who were in the room at the time sat bolt upright and were all like "Omg, that is so awesome!" They were immediately wanting to "compare notes" and stuff. It was totally surreal, but I loved it. By the end of the night, I was out to everyone there.

While I was at it, I told them why it was I never drank (afraid of what I'd do or say), so the next day we went out to bars. Most unfortunately, this did not end like Xsyvern's first. It was still a great time, but I realized that I'm still not a big fan of drinking, and only bothered to get a little buzzed.

Got my first off hand gay comment while people were getting ready to go out. The girls were getting changed behind a closed door, so I knocked on it just to bug 'em. My straight friend was all like, "You know, you probably could have just walked in there and they wouldn't care." lol

So yeah, I'm in a wicked good mood now. Thanks for all your help, guys! I really don't think I'd be at this point without you.

 

[.:~*Momo*~:.]

That's great! ^.^ I'm glad that things didn't go sour for you when you came out. =3

I have a question... I know this doesn't apply to all girls... but why are some girls HAPPY when they find out a male friend is gay? O.o;

 

[Zero Beat]

That's great! ^.^ I'm glad that things didn't go sour for you when you came out. =3

I have a question... I know this doesn't apply to all girls... but why are some girls HAPPY when they find out a male friend is gay? O.o;

In reality, most girls hate each other. They'd rather hang out or talk to their male cousins or male friends. Therefore when a guy goes gay, she knows he won't be trying to hit on her( as opposed to a male friend).

Although I'm sure there's more. But yeah, some girls can't stand each other.

 

[Crimson King]

DO NOT hit back on them.

All I have to say is: Matthew Shepard.

Homophobes really have no problem killing you if you go to far, in their mind.

 

[blink777]

I have a question... I know this doesn't apply to all girls... but why are some girls HAPPY when they find out a male friend is gay? O.o;

Can't say for all, but I think my one friend was especially happy about it because she used to room with a lesbian who always brought over her gay friends. I think she just missed them: she's all excited to go to gay bars again (for the record, she's straight). The other friend was all upset because she doesn't live in town and is going to miss it. I don't quite understand it.

 

[diabetic_yoshi]

That's great! ^.^ I'm glad that things didn't go sour for you when you came out. =3

I have a question... I know this doesn't apply to all girls... but why are some girls HAPPY when they find out a male friend is gay? O.o;

It's because they now know that you're not just being friends with them for an ulterior motive (ie: sex). Girls will know that their friendship is also genuine and you'll be honest with them. They also think you'll go clothes shopping with them now (sadly, my girlfriends are let down that I refuse to do that with them).

DO NOT hit back on them.

All I have to say is: Matthew Shepard.

Homophobes really have no problem killing you if you go to far, in their mind.

Agree 100%. At least with my method they can hate me for what I say about them, not about what I do to them.



Oh, and congrats blink777 on your week. It'll become easier and easier to come out to people over time. I do it so casually at this point that when I'm in the middle of the conversation with people, they won't even hear me the first time or they're already cool enough with me for it to matter. And to think that before I came out I assumed people would literally run for the high grounds after I told them.

 

[.:~*Momo*~:.]

I guess I understand... though sometimes they seem a bit too happy about it. O.o; But I guess I get it? O_o; Well I guess I should be happy if my female friends LIKE that I'm gay... right? O.o;

And on a completely unrelated topic, I got my hair cut today... and since I'm probably not gonna post any pictures here yet then I said that for absolutely no reason! =D Yay randomness! ^.^

And diabetic_yoshi is right... it becomes easier and easier over time, I'm almost at the point where I could tell anybody... that isn't like... my grandfather or something... not sure if he has anything against it since he knows about my sister being Bi... but I'm a guy... and the last chance of carrying on my family's name... which most likely isn't gonna happen so, I'll just keep it from some of the older generations of my family for now. O.o;

 

[Aeronite's Kiseki]

LOL....i usually make fun of straight guys...cuz they have boring lifestyles and usually stick their noses to the grindstone unlike the non-straights because they have more fun and free thinking ideas

 

[Darkfur]

And diabetic_yoshi is right... it becomes easier and easier over time, I'm almost at the point where I could tell anybody... that isn't like... my grandfather or something... not sure if he has anything against it since he knows about my sister being Bi... but I'm a guy... and the last chance of carrying on my family's name... which most likely isn't gonna happen so, I'll just keep it from some of the older generations of my family for now. O.o;

I know how that goes Momo. I'm also the last male to carry on my families name. The only other son that any of my family had with our name was stillborn. Sometimes I wish I had a brother just so when I did come out, it wouldn't be so hard for my mom.

I do really want kids though... so who knows? Maybe something will work out. Though I doubt I'll ever end up with biological children, I may adopt.

 

[DoH]

****, I'm totally taking my husband's name. My name is a walking gay pun.

Seriously.

 

[Eor]

DO NOT hit back on them.

All I have to say is: Matthew Shepard.

Homophobes really have no problem killing you if you go to far, in their mind.

Way to stereotype an entire group of people as murderers

 

[SU_Remo]

Way to stereotype an entire group of people as murderers

He's right, though. People have beat up, much less killed, people for a lot less. Sure, CK could've used a qualifier like "Some homophobes" to describe them, but there's no way I'm giving any leeway to prejudice, ignorant idiots who judge or hate other innocent people on something they cannot change.

 

[adumbrodeus]

He's right, though. People have beat up, much less killed, people for a lot less. Sure, CK could've used a qualifier like "Some homophobes" to describe them, but there's no way I'm giving any leeway to prejudice, ignorant idiots who judge or hate other innocent people on something they cannot change.

"Idiot" is not the same as murderer.

By ascribing something to them beyond their stupidity you create additional hard feelings (making it more difficult for them to change) and open yourself to ridicule from outsiders who recognize that these people aren't murders.

Furthermore, it's hypocritical (which creates additional ridicule). It ultimately undermines the cause to stereotype like this.

 

[Yuna-Maria]

I think that as far as prejudice goes, it's a lot worse in certain places. I'm in New Orleans, I have it easy.

 

[SU_Remo]

Yeah, fine. I know not every homophobe isn't going to kill next gay who looks at him or her funny. That would be silly and I never said that. But, I'm not going to defend prejudice and ignorance. To be honest, I didn't really understand your post, so I'm repeating myself, I s'pose. Maybe plenty of people grew up in super conservative households where they were "taught" to hate gays, but I believe everybody's free will and everyone understand the Golden Rule. If people want to reform and mature, that's fine. I can forgive someone who really means it. But, there is no defense for the people who choose to be a-holes effing with innocent people, much less taking things physical or deadly.

 

[adumbrodeus]

Yeah, fine. I know not every homophobe isn't going to kill next gay who looks at him or her funny. That would be silly and I never said that. But, I'm not going to defend prejudice and ignorance. To be honest, I didn't really understand your post, so I'm repeating myself, I s'pose. Maybe plenty of people grew up in super conservative households where they were "taught" to hate gays, but I believe everybody's free will and everyone understand the Golden Rule. If people want to reform and mature, that's fine. I can forgive someone who really means it. But, there is no defense for the people who choose to be a-holes effing with innocent people, much less taking things physical or deadly.

My point is, don't pre-convict people of things they didn't do.

They may be a-holes but it only makes the situation worse to apply prejudice against them beyond what they have brought upon themselves personally.


Prejudice never solves anything, even when it's to counter prejudice.

 

[diabetic_yoshi]

"Idiot" is not the same as murderer.

By ascribing something to them beyond their stupidity you create additional hard feelings (making it more difficult for them to change) and open yourself to ridicule from outsiders who recognize that these people aren't murders.

Furthermore, it's hypocritical (which creates additional ridicule). It ultimately undermines the cause to stereotype like this.

Yeah, but it's easy to figure out those who are homophobic to the point where they are prone to hate crime, and those who are simply creeped out by us. People will hate us no matter what we say or do; those people are the ones who are not going to help bring about change. On the contrary, they will be the ones trying to make things regress to even harsher times than what we were born into. The people that will help bring change, however, are those open-minded enough to see that we are human beings on the same level than them. Those people who call us "beasts" or "less-human" and unabashedly hate will never change their mind, at least from my experience.

While I do agree hating will not get us any closer to equality, as we say in the retail industry, "You can't please everyone, no matter what you do." So instead of trying to level with mindless drones who will hate you simply to hate you, I see no problem to dislike those individuals because of that fact. They won't ever do anything for you, except, now that I think about it, help you out in the long run. Because without idiots like Fred Phelps and those two who killed Matthew Shepard, the average person would not realize how unreasonable such hate can be. Those who can change their opinions over time about homosexuality will because of these heinous crimes against humanity.

And need I remind you it was similar parallel actions around 50 years ago that brought positive change for African-Americans. Without those idiots at the KKK to show Americans how baseless racial intolerance was, their movement might not have progressed as they did. And since any American can insult the KKK or any other similar hate groups, why can't I? I will listen to what anyone says, because I'm not a close-minded person, but if what they say is pretty much, "I hate you because someone told me to", or "I hate you because you're not me", then I can look at their arguments and laugh in their face. But if it sounds more like their argument is "I dislike you because I don't understand you", or "I dislike you because my parents believe what you do is wrong", then I'll open up, talk to them about exactly who I am, and more than likely, have one more person understand and sympathize with our struggle for equality.

...Whew, I did not mean for that to come out as a rant, and I have homework due in the morning.

 

[SU_Remo]

They may be a-holes but it only makes the situation worse to apply prejudice against them beyond what they have brought upon themselves personally.

So, what's a gay person to do when he's being harassed, no matter on what level? Respect the homophobes feelings while he's telling you how wrong and gross he views your life? Bud, I don't wear a WWJD bracelet or care why or how those people think they can treat others like crap just because they're different. I'm not gonna pick a fight with them or spend my energy trying to teach them not to be complete d-bags. That was their parent's responsibility, who obviously did a horrible job. My initial response would a big middle finger and a "Eff you" while I turn my back and walk away.

As I said, I don't believe homophobe = murderer, but I do believe in "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." And if someone wants to break that rule, then I have no compassion for them. I'm no whiny emo or some pity princess, but I'm not going to take any crap or give any sympathy to anyone who feels that they are superior based on looks, lifestyles, gender, wealth, etc.

 

[adumbrodeus]

So, what's a gay person to do when he's being harassed, no matter on what level? Respect the homophobes feelings while he's telling you how wrong and gross he views your life? Bud, I don't wear a WWJD bracelet or care why or how those people think they can treat others like crap just because they're different. I'm not gonna pick a fight with them or spend my energy trying to teach them not to be complete d-bags. That was their parent's responsibility, who obviously did a horrible job. My initial response would a big middle finger and a "Eff you" while I turn my back and walk away.

I believe you misunderstood me, if a person is being homophobic, they brought the "eff you" on themselves.

What they did not bring on themselves is stereotyping as a murder. That is all I reject here.

As I said, I don't believe homophobe = murderer, but I do believe in "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." And if someone wants to break that rule, then I have no compassion for them. I'm no whiny emo or some pity princess, but I'm not going to take any crap or give any sympathy to anyone who feels that they are superior based on looks, lifestyles, gender, wealth, etc.

It's another gap in understanding that ultimately prevents reconciliation. This isn't sympathy, this is practicality coupled with an imense dislike of bad associations.

 

[SU_Remo]

What they did not bring on themselves is stereotyping as a murder. That is all I reject here.

Why do you keep saying that? How many time do I have to say that I don't automatically group homophobes with murderers? Nobody thinks that way. That would be ridiculous. Homophobes are still people and most people aren't evil enough to take another's live for such a stupid reason. But some are. There's no denying that there have been gay people who have been killed by homophobes only because they were gay. As serious those cases are, they are few and far between compared to everything else.

It's another gap in understanding that ultimately prevents reconciliation. This isn't sympathy, this is practicality coupled with an imense dislike of bad associations.

Call me stupid, but I don't know what the eff you're talking about. I feel that I understand well enough where homophobia comes from. But, I don't care about those people. I agree with Diabetic; if they're the types who don't understand or are willing to change, then I'll give them a chance to change their ways. But, I haven't run into those people. I've dealt with the "Get away from me, ***." type of people. And they can fall in a well, for all I care.

 

[adumbrodeus]

Why do you keep saying that? How many time do I have to say that I don't automatically group homophobes with murderers? Nobody thinks that way. That would be ridiculous. Homophobes are still people and most people aren't evil enough to take another's live for such a stupid reason. But some are. There's no denying that there have been gay people who have been killed by homophobes only because they were gay. As serious those cases are, they are few and far between compared to everything else.

Ok, it seems that this has lost connection with the original issue, I'll fix that below.

Call me stupid, but I don't know what the eff you're talking about. I feel that I understand well enough where homophobia comes from. But, I don't care about those people. I agree with Diabetic; if they're the types who don't understand or are willing to change, then I'll give them a chance to change their ways. But, I haven't run into those people. I've dealt with the "Get away from me, ***." type of people. And they can fall in a well, for all I care.

Let's step back then. CK made this post:

DO NOT hit back on them.

All I have to say is: Matthew Shepard.

Homophobes really have no problem killing you if you go to far, in their mind.

The bolded section essentially says all homophobes are willing to murder.

Somebody else disagreed with the stereotyping, you defended the post, and I disagreed with you.

I don't necessarily disagree with anything else you said. All I disagree with is the bolded section and by extension everything that defends it.