I have a problem...

[XACE-K]

I'm from a Catholic family but since March I have been feeling like there is no God. I secretly became an Atheist so my parents wouldn't know. Problem is that now I have the urge to tell them. I'm scared to tell them because the seem to give me the harshest punishments out of my siblings which I don't want. They also might think I'm going through a phase or have issues. Can somebody tell me what to do?

 

[mzink*]

A kid should be allowed to experience free thinking. My mother and stepfather gave me h*** for not believing in their church. Maybe you can explain your position in a respectful way without trying to tell them they are wrong. Hopefully if you show the maturity to be very respectful toward them about it, they will respect you back by not punishing you. If it turns out they just think you are going through a phase, well that's alright, if that's truly your position then they will realize otherwise with time. If they punish you, keep standing your ground on the matter, you don't have to throw it at them, just don't be bullied out of your beliefs. Be respectful but steadfast and hopefully that will gain you their respect on the matter and they will accept it. If you're certain telling them won't have good results, then don't tell them untill you are moving out or have already moved out, by then there will be nothing they can do. Everybody questions things, its natural.

 

[Dr. James Rustles]

If you're going to tell, make sure you have a way of legally leaving the house to live somewhere else if it doesn't work out. Yeah, don't be aggressive about your stance, either.

 

[Rici]

Just tell them, they are your parents, they ought to respect you.




And if they don't, apply Operation CTF (Crowbar to The Face, not Capture The Flag)

 

[~Krystal~]

I'm from a Catholic family but since March I have been feeling like there is no God. I secretly became an Atheist so my parents wouldn't know. Problem is that now I have the urge to tell them. I'm scared to tell them because the seem to give me the harshest punishments out of my siblings which I don't want. They also might think I'm going through a phase or have issues. Can somebody tell me what to do?

Why do your parents give you the harshest punishments? What are some of the things that factored into your decision to become an atheist?

 

[XACE-K]

If you're going to tell, make sure you have a way of legally leaving the house to live somewhere else if it doesn't work out. Yeah, don't be aggressive about your stance, either.

I'm 14 so I don't think I can move out.

Why do your parents give you the harshest punishments? What are some of the things that factored into your decision to become an atheist?

I still don't know why I get the harshest punishments. As for the factors that made me become Atheist, I started having the feeling that God was against me. Going to CCD, teachers said that God was always with you and listening to you but it didn't feel like that to me.

 

[dr.neo]

If your parents are hard christians I seriously doubt they will just say, "oh its ok you can believe what you want". They way they see it is that they will spend the rest of eternity in heaven. And they want you to be there as well. This will greatly dishearten them to hear that you have changed your beliefs. The best thing to do is to keep it to yourself. If you told them then they would try everything in their power to try and make you believe. Thats just my opinion.

 

[Pluvia's other account]

It's up to you what you believe, not your parents.

Due to the fact that you used the word "punish", I'm guessing that they wont be too pleased about your decision. But being your parents, they should respect your decision, if they don't (which is very likely), then it's up to you to decide what you should do.

Basically my advice is, don't tell them. But seeing as though you've grown up with their beliefs, you'll most likely end up believing them again.

 

[Ryudo_Sama]

I feel the same way as you do friend, but my parents are pretty lenient to me. I live in a Catholic family too; they don't go to Church on Sunday; but still have an adequate belief. Well, I'm going to tell you why I became Atheist. I have questioned if God truly existed or not. I have got into Science, which had made me opened my mind and got me into thinking. I have gone into Agnosticism; still unsure whether God existed or not; and if there was any proof. Over time, I had more disbelief in God. Until I've thought that God cannot exist.

As for your plight. I would not tell my parents and keep it a secret. But, I think that it would be right of you to tell them. Just wait until you caught them in a good mood. You do what you think is right, friend.

 

[Mugquomp]

I grew up in a catholic household as well. And although my parents were never the type to go to church every week, my grandparents are very religious and do go to church every week. I started doubting the teachings of the church back in second grade or so, and started to actively fight going to CCD classes and church around junior high. But my mother wouldn't allow me to stop. Her main reason was so that I could get married in the catholic church. When I finally got confirmed to appease my parents, I promptly stopped going to church. I'm not sure I ever told them I didn't believe in God throughout the process, but I didn't at the time.

Since then I've kind of changed my ideas about religion. At times I really enjoy the catholic culture, especially because I'm living in South America right now. And I'm not sure if I believe in a God or not...I guess I'd say that God exists because people believe in Him. It's a socially contructed idea. But mostly I just like to recognize the fact that I have a culture to fall back on to. It's kind of a comfort zone, and a place to view the world from that I can't remove myself from because that's what I grew up with.

So I'm actually glad I went through years and years of CCD when I was a kid, even though I hated it at the time. My advice to you would be to do the same thing I did. Keep your parents out of the loop, regarding your beliefs. Talk about them with friends or CCD teachers or religious leaders if you want to. I can vividly remember some arguments about Catholic beliefs I had with my CCD teacher in 9th grade during confirmation classes. But stick it out for the long run. A little lying to your parents can prevent some serious confrontations. Religion is such a divisive topic, I wouldn't suggest opening up an irreparable chasm between you and your parents in that regard.

Anyway, those are just my thoughts. Hopefully they makes sense. Good luck with whatever you choose to do.

 

[~Krystal~]

As a christian who still believes in God, my suggestion to you would be to tell your parents about how you feel. You don't have to say you're an atheist. Just share some concerns and see what they say. If their answers are not satisfactory, then remain skeptical. I'd rather you remain an atheist than become grossly misguided and coralled into adopting a way of thinking that is highly opposite of what God intended. However, you shouldn't throw in the towel just because things aren't improving at the snap of a finger.

When you feel that God is against you, you are probably thinking God is not working in your favor since he is allowing life's many trials and tribulations to stare you in the face. Did you feel this way when you decided to become an atheist? Another question, at any point in time, did your church tell you that if you didn't do x, y, and z you wouldn't come into God's favor?

 

[Royblazer]

Tell them in a good mood. Or you may want to wait, and forget the subject and come back to it later. See if you still think the same way. You're supposed to be able to think for yourself, you are human after all. If the situation winds up bad, just tolerate the rest of your years until you can manage your own life without the help of your parents. If the situation gets bad with them.

 

[XACE-K]

When you feel that God is against you, you are probably thinking God is not working in your favor since he is allowing life's many trials and tribulations to stare you in the face. Did you feel this way when you decided to become an atheist? Another question, at any point in time, did your church tell you that if you didn't do x, y, and z you wouldn't come into God's favor?

When I became atheist I felt like God was not working in my favor and that he didn't give a s*** about me. As for your second question, every time I had CCD they said that. I listened to them but I started thinking differently about God after confirmation.

 

[Eor]

My suggestion is that YOU REPENT YOUR SOUL

Actually, my suggestion is to not tell them. Weigh the two outcomes, worst and best case for both, and just decide which is better. I don't know your parents nor your situation any better then you do

 

[~Krystal~]

When I became atheist I felt like God was not working in my favor and that he didn't give a s*** about me. As for your second question, every time I had CCD they said that. I listened to them but I started thinking differently about God after confirmation.

If you wish I can offer you my perspective on this through a pm.

 

[Zook]

Eor is right, it's best to not tell.

Still, if you feel you must, tell them. What's the worse that they can do?

 

[bored]

I went through this awhile back too. I didn't question gods existence for reasons like you mentioned, though. I questioned how this world was created along with every living organism, everyone in my family and church says god created it, but I questioned myself if this was really true. I still go to church, pray, and believe, but a tiny part of me still questions his existence.

 

[XACE-K]

If you wish I can offer you my perspective on this through a pm.

I guess you can. If it will further my decision on what to do than okay.

 

[notftomearth7]

Tell your parents once you've moved out of the house and established a career for yourself. That way, they couldn't do anything to you, but just express their disdain and live with it.

 

[XACE-K]

Tell your parents once you've moved out of the house and established a career for yourself. That way, they couldn't do anything to you, but just express their disdain and live with it.

I don't think I can wait 4 more years...

 

[Vash_15]

If you want my opinion because I am around your age and have problems like this, do one of two things

1) Come right out with it, tell them straight on about the situation, let them handle it their own way and say you have the freedom to choose your own religious life

2) Hide it. Think up a good lie and once they come to you cover it up, again and again.


Depending on your skills with lying this could go either way, but I would recommend option 1.

 

[XACE-K]

If you want my opinion because I am around your age and have problems like this, do one of two things

1) Come right out with it, tell them straight on about the situation, let them handle it their own way and say you have the freedom to choose your own religious life

2) Hide it. Think up a good lie and once they come to you cover it up, again and again.


Depending on your skills with lying this could go either way, but I would recommend option 1.

I'm a good liar but the only problem is that for number 1. I basically have no freedom. My parents always say when we have an arguement, "I'm the parent, you're the child so whatever I say goes". Every single f***ing time they say this even when I'm right in the arguement.

 

[Vash_15]

Well still, if they punish you because you have different religious beliefs then thats rong, they can limit what you do but not what you think. Tell them that. Tell them you're groing and your views of the world are changing.

Ironic how I can tell you to say this but I always go with option 2

 

[D13]

If you think your parents really won't like it, it might be best to keep your mouth shut. Once you can get out of the house, you can practice whatever beliefs you want.

EDIT:

I don't think I can wait 4 more years...

Oh, uhh, I don't know what to tell you other than try to get through it. :[

 

[XxXBlueKillaXxX]

Because religion and such is in the subject matter, can you guys give me some advice on something? I am an atheist (so are my parents), and I go to a catholic school (Im smarticle) Some of my friends and teachers at school are pressuring me about not being catholic. How should I approach them?

 

[~Krystal~]

Because religion and such is in the subject matter, can you guys give me some advice on something? I am an atheist (so are my parents), and I go to a catholic school (Im smarticle) Some of my friends and teachers at school are pressuring me about not being catholic. How should I approach them?

Display the same kindness and respect you would show to a person who is not pressuring you to be catholic. Say your decision on the matter is final and if they do not want to be viewed as hypocrites, they will care for you just the same.

 

[Chris Lionheart]

Because religion and such is in the subject matter, can you guys give me some advice on something? I am an atheist (so are my parents), and I go to a catholic school (Im smarticle) Some of my friends and teachers at school are pressuring me about not being catholic. How should I approach them?

Pretend to be Catholic?


And to the OP?
Sometimes it seems like God may be against you but its never so. The things that made you lose faith were likely nothing but trials meant to test you. Anyone can be faithful when everything is going well, but God wants you to show that your faith is strong.
Everyone sometimes feels like these trials are to much (even me ) but if you try to work them out and don't lose the faith then they tend to solve themselves.

But if you want to be an atheist, I suggest not telling them. Keep it to yourself, and they can't judge you. I'm not going to try and change your beliefs but they might. Often, parents of any religion (or lack thereof) are inflexible just because they are parents. Sometimes, if you aren't just like them, then they will think less of you, perhaps even be more strict towards you (I would know.) I know my mom is really strict towards my video gaming simply because it didn't exist during her childhood. I would suggest not telling them of your atheism, so they won't be this way with you.

 

[orintemple]

If your parents punish you for not believing in God then they are not good parents, true story. I would NEVER force my child(or anyone for that matter) to believe in something they didn't want to.

I was raised Catholic my whole life and I eventually lost the belief around late high school. I was agnostic for a time, wanting to believe there was a God, but eventually I came to terms with what I truly felt. Now, being 21, I am at the point, and have been for a while, where I don't believe this stuff for a second. If somehow God's existence was proven, I would be all for it, but I can not believe something that I know the history of.

Honestly I find it sad that people can actually buy into this stuff. Everyone knows religions are created by humans long ago(or even not so long ago) in order to explain natural events(or make money these days ). I am fine with people believing what they want, as I am a very open person, but I still kind of feel sorry for them.

Back to the true topic at hand, tell your parents. If they punish you, tell them the kinds of things we are telling you here. Explain to them intelligently what is going on. Better yet, don't say " I don't beleive in God anymore". Say something more like "I am startign to feel like God is not with me", just as you said to us. And then gauge their reaction to that. Let go of your beliefs is a gradual process, you don't jsut one day wake up and not believe in God. In any case, the most important thing is to be intelligent, and let your parents know that you are equal to them in this discussion, not a lesser debater. It is important that they know you are serious about what is going on, and that they haven't the right to tell you what to believe.

 

[chucklesXcore]

I'm from a Catholic family but since March I have been feeling like there is no God. I secretly became an Atheist so my parents wouldn't know. Problem is that now I have the urge to tell them. I'm scared to tell them because the seem to give me the harshest punishments out of my siblings which I don't want. They also might think I'm going through a phase or have issues. Can somebody tell me what to do?

well I haven't read what's been said, because frankly I'm too lazy and I'm going to give you my opinion regardless of what's been said. However, forgive me if I've repeated an idea thats already been said.

Growing up in a catholic family as well I can honestly say I can relate to how you feel. Being catholic has a bit of pressure coming from your parents I know and at times it feels overwhelming. Why is it exactly you don't feel like there is no God anymore? I'm not trying to convince you to sway either way since I respect everyone and their beliefs, but I just want to put it out there that maybe you're just struggling. I've struggled to keep going and have times have said "god isn't there for me when I pray" or I just don't feel the spirit that everyone talks about ya know? Well, I will say that if you just feel like if there was a God you would feel something...you're in a way a little off. Usually you do, but sometimes I feel in my beliefs that God speaks to me in other ways and despite popular beliefs he doesn't shelter you from everything. If its the pressure, just ignore anyone who tries to push anything on you and keep doing you're own thing. And I apologize if this comes off as preachy, but I'm a Christian and I try to help people as best as I can when they feel like giving up or have given up.

But...I have to present my other side too. If you are for sure no matter what a non believer now; I will say you just have to be honest about it. Its not really fair to yourself to live with the guilt of keeping something from your parents whom I'm sure you love just like everyone else. I would try to explain it to them and also your fear of what they were gonna do. Just explain how you feel. Any parent who really loves their kid is going to be somewhat understanding of how their child feels. And its a belief. You gotta tell them that your not just trying to rebel against them, but you just can't make yourself believe anymore. Its not you. You need to stress that its something you can't control. You don't feel it anymore. And if they punish you still, well they suck. I'm sorry. I'm sure they'll try and change your mind and you should be open to what they say. I'm not saying come to their side. Just don't snap at them when they try to get you back to God. That will probably just tick them off. And if they don't get through to you they will probably understand to an extent. they'll be ticked, but they know they won't be able to do much and in the end you are still their kid. Oh and I forgot to add, they might say that you are going through a phase and have issues because you MIGHT. Its not a guaranteed thing. beliefs can change at any time. Being mature is realizing that. But you can also assure them that for the time being, this is what you believe and they have to accept that.

Sorry for such a long post, but I'm done now. Hope this helps.

 

[Royblazer]

I'm a good liar but the only problem is that for number 1. I basically have no freedom. My parents always say when we have an arguement, "I'm the parent, you're the child so whatever I say goes". Every single f***ing time they say this even when I'm right in the arguement.

Sounds like a case of authoritative parents. If you wait, it may seem as you're living a false life, but if you think that something horribly bad will happen if you tell them, then its all just a decision of which is worse.

Because religion and such is in the subject matter, can you guys give me some advice on something? I am an atheist (so are my parents), and I go to a catholic school (Im smarticle) Some of my friends and teachers at school are pressuring me about not being catholic. How should I approach them?

State your decision and be polite about it. It's your choice on your religion, not your friends, teachers, or your school.

 

[Popertop]

I know what it's like to have parent's that are rigid when it comes to certian things, and I imagine it would be even harder living in a Catholic family. Are you the firstborn, is that why they punish you the hardest? Most times that is the case, and being the firstborn also has the virtue of the added pressure to "take up the family business." A lot of times I've felt that my dad was unfair to me, and it's tough to voice your opinion without getting the big talk, but some things you just can't talk to your parents about initially because of how they'll react. Of course this depends on the situiation. I personally think you should seek out a leader in the Catholic church and find their take on it. Some one you trust who thinks the way you do.

To tell the truth, most people fall away from their faith during thier teenage years for a number of reasons. Most being unsure, life changing occurances, and other reasons. I myself went through a period where I wasn't sure if God was real to me. I was very depressed and it seemed like the whole world was against me. I couldn't see past all the bad, all the ugly, and my life felt devoid of warmth and love. My depression was linked to events earlier in my life, involving a divorce, among other things, but I see it the same as what all teens go through some time, and it was just as hard as what anyone goes through.
I eventually got through it, though even now I still sometimes struggle with it. It doesn't help that my dad is against using drugs and therapy. He thinks I should do it on my own... But that's not the story at hand.

I would like to encourage you in your faith, and it seems to me you want to believe, so I know the desire is there. It may feel like God is neglecting you at times, but he's still there, still loving you. You might feel barren of emotion, or that the whole world is against you, but do not be discouraged. There are people who love you, who can help you through this. You can't analyze God. My dad kept trying to his whole life and kept running into roadblocks. It can't be done. I think I read that you wanted to see his existence proven, but if we know God exists through pure factual evidence and it's concrete that he exists (i.e. if God was testable like the outcome of scientific hypotheses) then what would having faith in him mean? It wouldn't mean anything. It would be pointless to believe because it was already proven by facts and evidence that you could clearly see and believe. But it's not that easy. You have to "walk by faith, not by sight." Do not lose hope or be discouraged, for the Kingdom of Heaven is yours if you only ask.

EDIT: Don't flame this, I'm just expressing my views via freedom of speech. Also, if you need something elucidated, feel free to have me explain.

 

[Pluvia's other account]

After reading through these comments from the religious side of view I've decided, don't tell them.

They think with their religion first, and they do things "because they're the adult and you're the child", which means if you tell them that you don't believe what they believe, they really aren't going to be too happy about it.

And to give the opposing view from these last few posts, you may feel that god isn't listening to you, maybe it's because he doesn't actually exist, and was created by people.

Though, ultimately, it's up to you to decide what to do.

 

[mark.]

how old are you?
no offense or anything, but if you were pretty young they might take it as just a "phase" and just force more religion onto you.