Girls/Guys/Relationships

[Jammer]

That's rather interesting, joshisrad.

I'm just worried that becoming friends with the girl would make her think I like her, even if I don't "let her come any closer". We aren't at all close now, and I feel that becoming friends with her will send the wrong messages. But I may give it a try anyway.

Remember, my goal here is not to pick up chicks. It's to keep shy girls who have crushes on me from getting hurt.

 

[joshisrad]

Be her friend anyway.

 

[Deleted member]

That's risky territory, she might mistake that for sexual advancements, which only makes you the guy that led her on. Not cool.

 

[Livvers]

Regardless of whether you let her come any closer or not, she'll probably think you have interest in her if you become her friend. And if you date her friend instead of her, she's still going to be hurt, if not by you, then by her friend. Or maybe even both depending on how your friendship with her is.

I still think this is something you don't have to worry about, Jammer. Not returning any kind of interest isn't hurting her. I remember back in high school with my friends, having crushes was fun. We joked and laughed about it with each other. She might do the same thing with her friends.

 

[joshisrad]

You won't lead her on unless you flirt with her. If she mistakes friendship for advancement of sexual relationship, she leads herself on.

 

[Jammer]

Thanks for the help, everyone.

I still think this is something you don't have to worry about, Jammer. Not returning any kind of interest isn't hurting her. I remember back in high school with my friends, having crushes was fun. We joked and laughed about it with each other. She might do the same thing with her friends.

Hmm...I never thought about it this way. Guys generally don't talk about crushes like girls do. It's not like a fun social thing to talk about who you like, and then we all giggle and smile--that doesn't happen with guys. I can see how this would be fun (even if I wouldn't enjoy it myself), and it makes me feel better that girls don't take crushes seriously in the same ways that guys do.

I will try not to worry about it, as it seems I am making it into too big of a deal. I suppose it's just a fact of life.

But just so you know, girls, if you know a guy has a crush on you, but he's too shy to say or do anything, and you don't like him, it would probably be a very nice thing for you to show him somehow that you're not interested. I know some guys who can get fixated on girls, and they wonder if the girl likes them back, and the best thing for them would be for the girl to just tell them the truth. I believe there were a few guys in the beginning of this thread who confessed to writing love poetry and stuff like that, which is sad when the girl doesn't even like them back. But of course, I can't speak for all guys on this issue.

There were a few girls I knew that I had a crush on, and sometimes I would get the feeling they liked me back, and sometimes I would get the feeling that they were just ignoring me--I was too shy back then to just ask. Retrospectively, I realize that the girls must have known I liked them, and I wish that they just told me whether or not they were interested. It would have made everything much happier for me.

 

[OhMyGodItzMouf]

jammer, if you were really the ultimate nice guy that you're trying to come off as you would just go out with her...but you're not, so youz best pick one of these choices and run with it

 

[McCloud]

Stop idolizing women... all those people that wrote love poetry for girls and stuff... you only do that if you're seriously in love with the girl...

When you first meet a woman, you make sure that she lives up to what YOU want in a woman. She's a pretty young thing, sure, but that doesn't mean ****. Look deeper. Every woman you meet isn't your next girlfriend or your wife, and they shouldn't be thought of as such.

 

[Dark Link]

Don't go into a relationship looking for a life partner, nor for just a few day thing. Don't go into a relationship just for bragging rights neither. If you get a guy/girl just to say you have one, but don't really like him/her, you are just wasting your time and theirs. I know a few people who went out with a a few girls for a while just for bragging rights, then dumped the girls. Needless to say they weren't very happy with this. Mad women=BAD DEAL. Be respectful to yourself and your date, and you should be fine.

 

[McCloud]

p.s. watch Hitch. Hitch is a great movie...

hell. you can even ask her to watch Hitch with you.

 

[omfgomfg]

dark link is right
relationships must be mutual
mutualism is the win-win solution for any species
parasitism is the win-lose you do not want a parasite to be your pard
and i will spell partner like "pard"
anyway i do not feel like any relationship will be "mutual" heheheh

 

[Livvers]

dark link is right
relationships must be mutual
mutualism is the win-win solution for any species
parasitism is the win-lose you do not want a parasite to be your pard
and i will spell partner like "pard"
anyway i do not feel like any relationship will be "mutual" heheheh

Team work is also needed. Good team work allowed my boyfriend and I to beat Bubble Bobble and then Super Bubble Bobble. I could never have done that and got the best ending without him. Yay team work!

 

[Tom]

p.s. watch Hitch. Hitch is a great movie...

hell. you can even ask her to watch Hitch with you.

worked for me

 

[lain]

You know what's sort of unenjoyable?

Not knowing if things are going too fast in a relationship.

 

[joshisrad]

I find that if you ever have doubts about something that immediately involves you (relationships, psychology, etc), you're probably right.

 

[lain]

Maybe.

I'm just in a relationship with my best friend of 4 years ever since I've moved here from Texas. And so it's kind of different then just dating other girls and whatnot. And I'm also pretty close with her family as well. So I just really don't want to ruin this or anything.

:D

 

[jmandrummer123]

WoW!!! 50+ pages!!! I've got a few things to add to the conversation...

1) I think online dating where you never (intentially) see each other,like in MMO'S is just stupid, a waste of time, and some other things that I'm not going to say for fear of getting this thread closed. 8) The other kind, like Match.com can be really good and helpful. Not that I've ever done either

2) In my opinion, writing poetry for someone could go both ways. I think it is good when said or shown to their face by you, when yall have been (or plan on) going out. But could be bad in the way that you showed her. Sorry

3) I think that this is how any big conversations should be said
face-to-face>phone call>e-mail>facebook or similar>im>text>>heard from someone else

4) I hate the whole "clique" thing that everyone says happens in high school!!! I play baseball, play around in a couple bands, and still make all A's (while managing to cram in video games). I consider myself at least decently popular and have friends of all races, backgrounds, age, and gender. We all just kinda hang out with whoever. Everyone is pretty much in the "in" crowd except for a few "different" people. But then they all pretty much hang out.



Also, I need some advice of my own:
I met this girl a couple of months ago through a friend of mine who happens to be her cousin and go to my school, but whatever. I told her I really liked her, but we could just for friends and see where it goes. We have only hung out twice, but I really can't tell if she just wants to be friends or more. Since then, I've kinda dropped some hints about maybe going out and she acts cool and all about it. I just haven't actually done anything for fear of jeopardizing our friendship.

 

[joshisrad]

Go **** ten other women.

 

[Deleted member]

So how do we all feel about porn? This could get hilarious.

 

[joshisrad]

Dislike, don't watch.

 

[Deleted member]

It's probably better to explain why instead of just saying yes or no

 

[Master WGS]

From a moralistic view, I disapprove of porn. It's like cheating in the game of sex, I guess you could say. You going to a porn site is like going to gamefaqs to read about the final boss on a game you haven't beaten yet.

But you know you do it.

 

[McCloud]

someone had to create a gaming analogy for porn.

rule 35: if it exists, there's a gaming analogy for it..

 

[joshisrad]

I didn't take any political stance against it or anything, I just said I don't like it.

 

[Black Waltz]

Also, I need some advice of my own:
I met this girl a couple of months ago through a friend of mine who happens to be her cousin and go to my school, but whatever. I told her I really liked her, but we could just for friends and see where it goes. We have only hung out twice, but I really can't tell if she just wants to be friends or more. Since then, I've kinda dropped some hints about maybe going out and she acts cool and all about it. I just haven't actually done anything for fear of jeopardizing our friendship.

depending on what kind of girl she is (in terms of liberal/conservative and hotness factor), she might give you a chance, ie: conservative views on relationships/UG 6-HB 7 (just an assumption, not guaranteed). but if shes the hottest girl in school with dozens of guys flocking to her (this is an exaggeration) and is incredible social, then id say you ****ed up badly by telling her that you like her. the most you can do is preserve your friendship and find another girl to date. and if youre absolutely determined to ask her out, do it in an assertive tone. ie: "lets go to the movies, etc." and NOT "would you like to go to the movies, etc.?". the chances of her actually willing to be your gf are slim, but like i said before, its all dependent on her personality.

EDIT: porn is niiicccee, at least until im 18 and can experience it fo' realz.

 

[omfgomfg]

do not like porn do not like masturbation love my siggy i made it myself

 

[Black Waltz]

do not like porn do not like masturbation love my siggy i made it myself

well, do you like sex?

 

[Jammer]

Remember? Omfgomfg is the one who thinks sex is bad (yes, I know, omfgomfg, that's not exactly what you said). I would expect him to dislike porn and masturbation.

I watch porn rarely. Like, maybe once every two months or so. I feel like I'm missing out on something, and then I watch some, and I remember that it doesn't really interest me too much. I mean, I enjoy it, but I can usually find better ways to spend my time.

I don't think there's anything actually wrong about porn, even from a Biblical standpoint, although I'm sure to meet some resistance there.

I guess that whenever I want some porn, I can just come up with a fantasy inside my head. I know some people have more trouble coming up with a compelling fantasy, but I seem to be good at it, whether it's a sexual fantasy or just an "I'm on top of the world" kind of fantasy. For example, I believe women have a much harder time becoming aroused just by thinking of something--they need physical stimulation or something. Guys can get erections just by thinking about sex, which is both good and bad, as it can lead to embarrassment sometimes.

So, to answer the "what do you think about porn" question, I'd say I don't think about it very much, and when I do, it doesn't really interest me. Fantasies and occasional masturbation are all I need.

Also, is it okay to talk about this kind of thing? I know the boards are rated PG, and I don't think I'm being too explicit, so sorry if I am.

 

[Red Exodus]

Porn is ok, it kinda gives some people false hopes when it comes to sex and it turns other into mega-perverts. I admit I'm a little perverted but I don't look at every girl, judge and think out loud whether I'd hit them or not. I have a friend that does that and thinks I'm a wimp for not doing it to. I always tell I'm not a wimp, I'm just not a porn-crazed pervert.

I don't watch porn too often, normally I do less than once every two weeks depending on my mood and what events took place recently [fights, stress, new game, etc]. I'm not religious at all so it's not like I repent or take a dip in holy water when I'm done. Politically I don't think it's wrong either, it's better than having perverts run loose ****** women and doing stuff like trying to get pics of upskirts and whatnot.

 

[jmandrummer123]

Thanks, Black Waltz! Good advice, I wasn't neccesairly saying that I wanted her to be my girlfriend. I really don't know what I want.

About porno, I might have watched it a time or two XD

 

[plasmawisp6633]

Porn and masturbation are ok in my book. The two of them are a source of a modified pleasure for those that have sexual urges. I think we're at the point where if you don't masturbate, you're considered the minority.
Plus, it's healthy. I'll openly admit that porn taught me a lot of things where if I didn't know about them, I would have been considered naive.

However, make sure that you don't get addicted, or start believing that the woman are real. They got more fake emotions and plastic surgery in them than Joan Rivers. I just wish it were a little more on the realistic side.

As long as the porn industry keeps it's nose out of the mainstream, I think we'll be ok.

 

[Bahamut]

Pornography only becomes a problem when you are hiding the fact that you watch it from your significant other, or if it gets in the way of normal, daily activities. Often times one person or the other in a relationship will have a higher sex drive, and porn can be a healthy release for that if it's done openly and honestly.

Also: the Song of Solomon (Song of Songs) in the Old Testament is basically erotica, so I don't really understand why people say it's all that bad.

 

[Tom]

Bahamut really beat me to it (LOL no pun intended) -- there's nothing wrong with porn unless you make it wrong. Gotta be honest.

 

[tw1n]

Agreed with Bahumut on that one.

Want to know a pain in the ya... February 10th is a day known to every single person who comes to this website. It is the day of BRAWL! But I recently realized something else of high importance to me happens that day. My 2 year anniversary with my girlfriend...! She is not as much of a gamer as I so I ruled out playing Brawl for our anniversary So knowing what is the right thing to do, I must put Brawl off for one more day... or until later that night once we part :D

 

[Bahamut]

Bahamut really beat me to it (LOL no pun intended)

ROFL. Still funny.

 

[Virgilijus]

Song of Solomon is about a husband and wife (or bride and groom, if you prefer). I forgot where in Matthew, but it says "Look upon a woman with lustful eyes and you have already committed adultery." Just to clarify the Bible isn't for porn, as almost all Christian sects will agree.

Personally, porn was one of the reasons my mother and father split up...actually, it's one of the reason no relationship of his can last more than a few months. I don't buy the whole "easing your libido" thing because all of the guys I know that watch porn to do that only become more addicted to it. That's not saying some people can't, but I think it's disrespectful and walking on thin ice.

 

[Jammer]

Song of Solomon is about a husband and wife (or bride and groom, if you prefer). I forgot where in Matthew, but it says "Look upon a woman with lustful eyes and you have already committed adultery." Just to clarify the Bible isn't for porn, as almost all Christian sects will agree.

That's interesting...

The way I always interpreted that "You have already committed adultery with her in your heart" verse, it only counts if you actually fantasize about finding that woman and having sex with her, and of course it's only adultery if you're already married.

I think there's a difference between watching porn and committing adultery with a woman in your heart. I'm not sure how to articulate what I mean, though.

I believe that verse (sorry; I can't remember it exactly either) is saying that a husband shouldn't fantasize about cheating on his wife, because that's just as bad as cheating on her, just like fantasizing about killing someone is bad. I don't think it really applies to porn.

 

[plasmawisp6633]

Personally, porn was one of the reasons my mother and father split up...actually, it's one of the reason no relationship of his can last more than a few months. I don't buy the whole "easing your libido" thing because all of the guys I know that watch porn to do that only become more addicted to it. That's not saying some people can't, but I think it's disrespectful and walking on thin ice.

That's really unfortunate Virg. I don't mean to knock your parents or anything, but I feel that people should treat porn almost like a drug. The bottom line is, people need to take responsibility and know when it's time to stop watching porn or taking a drug.

When I got a girlfriend, I knew I had to curve my porn watching, and masturbation habits, and I did. In fact, I found it easier to stop because I knew I had a concrete reason to stop, and that was because of my care for my girlfriend.

In the case of addiction, I would suggest either finding other things to do, or purposely restricting oneself from getting porn. But that's just me.

 

[jmandrummer123]

HaHa!!! Porn addicton? Sorry to laugh, but yall have got to control yourselves!!! (Still laughing, still sorry)

 

[Livvers]

HaHa!!! Porn addicton? Sorry to laugh, but yall have got to control yourselves!!! (Still laughing, still sorry)

It can actually be a real problem for some people, and really isn't that funny of a thing.