Girls/Guys/Relationships

[joshisrad]

pikaville don't do it. DON'T do it.
omfgomfg is being very ridiculous. You want sex. You are just afraid of STDs. You want sex, you don't want STDs. They are not the same thing, and though they are not mutually exclusive events, they more often do not coincide with eachother. Easily prevented. Get over it and **** someone. Hell, make her show her slips from the doc to prove that she's clean if you're that worried. And then get her on the pill just in case that 90 something percent(95 or 98?) safety doesn't happen.

 

[commonyoshi]

Josh, just because it's natural to want sex doesn't mean everyone has to start going after everything that moves. I dont think you understand that while people do want sex they also want more than a quick fling. Maybe this doesn't apply to you, but there is more than just the physical aspects of it.

 

[Deleted member]

I will never understand asexuals.

 

[Red Exodus]

Haha, realistically I don't want sex right now, all these questions start popping up, stuff like:

Where would we do it?
When would we do it?
Did she do it before?
What if we get caught?
What will happen to our relationship if it sucks?

Of course, I'd need a girl for this to happen which in turn brings up a whole bunch of other questions. Eventually I will start to look for one, but right now I'm passively looking, if she's interested and I'm interested [in a relationship, not sex] we can make it work, but if I'm not interested I ain't doing ****. Not even going to the movies as a date.

Omfg seems paranoid, sex can be intimidating, but he seems a little confused, maybe he had a traumatic experience or something. Anyway, the whole thing just seems pretty weird to me.

 

[joshisrad]

No, commonyoshi. Everybody wants sex. Except for eunuchs. Disney movies and mothers tricked you into thinking that everybody is programmed with the desire for a romantic mushy fairy-tale love story. I never said everybody has to **** everything that moves. But this kid clearly needs to experience a little something something.

 

[Kitten]

People, shut up about condom's being 85% effective. This figure comes from factoring in people who don't know how to use them correctly and the sample was taken from over a year of regular use.

With proper use, the figure is actually 98% percent effective when they are used regularly over a year.

 

[omfgomfg]

Haha, realistically I don't want sex right now, all these questions start popping up, stuff like:

Where would we do it?
When would we do it?
Did she do it before?
What if we get caught?
What will happen to our relationship if it sucks?

Of course, I'd need a girl for this to happen which in turn brings up a whole bunch of other questions. Eventually I will start to look for one, but right now I'm passively looking, if she's interested and I'm interested [in a relationship, not sex] we can make it work, but if I'm not interested I ain't doing ****. Not even going to the movies as a date.

Omfg seems paranoid, sex can be intimidating, but he seems a little confused, maybe he had a traumatic experience or something. Anyway, the whole thing just seems pretty weird to me.

to the first parts:
yes, there are tons of questions to ask
and yes i would have to get intimate with a girl to have sex
this is quite a hassle really, as i wouldn't want to get intimate anyway
much less be in a relationship
and guys i would like you to know that yes i want sex
however, i don't actually want to want to have sex
it's just that it is natural that i want it except i don't actually want to have it.
it is the same exact thing for relationships.
now i am not socially isolated by any means, no. i am rarely insulted if ever and if i am then i make sure that they get the worser end of it. yes, i have lots of friends but discussing something like this with them is pointless because it isn't likely to change.

i think you guys are misunderstanding though - i do not want help trying to get rid of any sex drives or hormones, i am just stating what i think about the subject of relationships.

 

[The Noob Legend]

Sex is not the key to a good relationship, so I've heard.
I've never actually been in one yet because I'm waiting til' I'm a little older and more responsible.
And independant.

If you do have sex, you're basically admitting to your partner that like, you love them more then anything, and if that relationship ends... she gets hurt.

This is why, when I get older I'm gonna make sure I stay away from relationships.
I'm going to acquire my dreams and find someone in the long run...

BTW,
It is every human beings instinct to have a sexual relation between the opposite sex...
Depends on how your hormones act up

 

[Black Waltz]

Haha, realistically I don't want sex right now, all these questions start popping up, stuff like:

Where would we do it?
When would we do it?
Did she do it before?
What if we get caught?
What will happen to our relationship if it sucks?

Of course, I'd need a girl for this to happen which in turn brings up a whole bunch of other questions. Eventually I will start to look for one, but right now I'm passively looking, if she's interested and I'm interested [in a relationship, not sex] we can make it work, but if I'm not interested I ain't doing ****. Not even going to the movies as a date.

Omfg seems paranoid, sex can be intimidating, but he seems a little confused, maybe he had a traumatic experience or something. Anyway, the whole thing just seems pretty weird to me.

the pro thinks about what sounds the girl will make when hes doing her.
the noob thinks about all the possible ways he can mess up.

 

[The Masked Z]

the pro thinks about what sounds the girl will make when hes doing her.
the noob thinks about all the possible ways he can mess up.

Haha, truth.

Sex actually builds connection between a man and a woman.

Some of the guys that want to cut off their own d*cks are probably just upset about something that happened to them girl related. Or something else.

If sex is sacred to you, then go ahead and don't have sex with anyone until you are married.

If sex is awesome for you, then go sleep with as many girls as you want (girls on the other hand, is different, but that's another story).

No one but yourself has the power to do what you want.

 

[Red Exodus]

the pro thinks about what sounds the girl will make when hes doing her.
the noob thinks about all the possible ways he can mess up.

I don't think being a pro at sex is something I'd want to wave around. Besides, if you missed it I said REALISTICALLY.

Realistically, where would 2 16 year olds find a place to have sex. I sure as hell don't want to do it in a car, it's tacky and you never know who'll see you and what will happen. I heard about 2 people that got ***** because of that, the woman got pregnant and they both got STDs. That doesn't sound like how I would want my first time to be.

I'll be ready for sex when I can support myself and not have to worry about getting caught or ruining a relationship because we moved too fast. Besides, I wouldn't wanna bang any of the girls I know, we just aren't compatible.

 

[McCloud]

Sex in risky places can be a turnon.

 

[Jammer]

Omfgomfg, maybe your problem (or rather, dilemma--it's not really a "problem") could be solved if you just decide to not have sex until you marry, and then you can have all the sex you want (with your wife, of course).

If she's a virgin, and you're a virgin, the chance of STDs is like...what...0%? And birth control pills are so extremely effective that you really don't have to worry about getting her pregnant before you both want to have a baby.

And even if she's not a virgin, she can get tested, just to make sure.

Personally, that's what I'm doing. I'm waiting until I marry to have sex. Or, if I absolutely cannot wait, I suppose I might have sex with the woman I am going to marry.

 

[Livvers]

Comparing cocaine to sex is the most absurd analogy I've heard in a long time. It really is. Safe sex can actually be healthy, regular cocaine use is far from healthy.

Omfgomfg, why don't you want to be intimate with someone? Even non-sexually?

 

[joshisrad]

Noob legend, the first thing you said is debatable and all that but general consensus is that it IS the key.

omfgomfg's problems are psychological. IMO he just needs to get out and ****. If nothing else, he can superman a ho.

 

[Kitten]

Two sixteen year olds can have sex in a bed like everyone else. Or just about anywhere. I know a girl who's had sex on a helipad.

 

[Rici]

A friend of mine had sex on a theater stage with the curtains closed while there were some people of the theater on the other side discussing some thing.

And if you really don't want to get caught, rent a motel room or whatever. They may even come with free STD's on the bed.

 

[commonyoshi]

No, commonyoshi. Everybody wants sex. Except for eunuchs. Disney movies and mothers tricked you into thinking that everybody is programmed with the desire for a romantic mushy fairy-tale love story. I never said everybody has to **** everything that moves. But this kid clearly needs to experience a little something something.

Josh, I hope you realize how baseless your view on this is. No one, I believe, ever expects a perfect "happily ever after" romance, but that doesn't mean people dont desire some sort of emotional bond with their partner. You cant have that after one or two quick drinks. Frankly, I find it appaling and pathetic that you would call sex "something something"; but that's just me.

 

[joshisrad]

Hahaha, yeah right man. I find it somewhat shocking when white people call eachother niggers, but that's because it's controversial and only when in front of black strangers do I feel that. Call sex whatever the hell you want.

How is "my view" that everybody wants sex baseless?

You said nobody "ever expects a perfect 'happily ever after' romance, but that doesn't mean people dont desire some sort of emotional bond with their partner."

When did I say anything against that? And who said anything about drinking? And ON that subject, why on earth would you claim that you can't create an emotional bond with someone after a couple drinks? You don't know what you're saying, buddy.

 

[Deleted member]

Since when are sex euphemisms so pathetic and appalling? Lighten up.

"Something something" is a hell of a lot better than some of the other terms I've heard to describe sex.

I should rephrase this.

"Something something" isn't crude. I understand sex is important and beautiful, but I think you're taking something very carnal and treating it as almost a religious rite. Which is fine, it's just peculiar.

 

[commonyoshi]

No, you can call it whatever you want (agreed, better than other "descriptions" I've heard). However, I was put off that you would make it so casual.

Josh, I never argued that people dont have sexual desires. I was commenting on your belief that love originated solely from Disney. That's false, and if you didn't mean your post to come off that way, well, it did. You never said anything against caring about the person you're intimate with either. I was merely bringing up a point, and I guess the concept went over your head. Forget it. Oh, and if you can create a close bond with a person after a few drinks then I tip my hat off to you as your social skills outclass mine.

 

[McCloud]

He means that Disney has given many women the impression that they deserve to be treated as princesses. Which is true, but in the realm of playerism, PUAs cringe at princess types cause they themselves do not personify Prince Charming. They're not in it for the long run usually.

And a few drinks, commonyoshi, is nothing... as long as the person isn't absurdly drunk... you can still hold a decent conversation with her/him.

 

[Virgilijus]

As McCloud will testify, my sister summed up what she wants in a guy:

"Do what you say you are going to do."

Lying...well, it never works out.

 

[joshisrad]

Nah man. I'm prince charming. But I won't put up with a ***** who expects to get treated like a princess.

Josh, I never argued that people dont have sexual desires. I was commenting on your belief that love originated solely from Disney.

I didn't say that. I swear, all of my responses to people here are "I didn't say that." Everybody puts words in my mouth. meanies ;__________________;

That's false, and if you didn't mean your post to come off that way, well, it did.

No. This is just how you perceived it. See what kitten said.

You never said anything against caring about the person you're intimate with either. I was merely bringing up a point, and I guess the concept went over your head. Forget it.

Haha as if dude. When you said, "nobody ever expects a perfect 'happily ever after' romance, but that doesn't mean people dont desire some sort of emotional bond with their partner," your enthymeme was "you don't believe in this." If there was supposed to be a "concept" further, then you failed to communicate it to me.

Oh, and if you can create a close bond with a person after a few drinks then I tip my hat off to you as your social skills outclass mine.

McCloud already covered how misconceived your knowledge on this subject is but I'd just like to add that most of my family members very often drink socially and hold intelligent, involved conversations, and just the same can rapport be established with even a stranger after a few.

 

[McCloud]

As McCloud will testify, my sister summed up what she wants in a guy:

"Do what you say you are going to do."

Lying...well, it never works out.

Senor Fur Chili Jewz's sister is teh awesome...and I wholeheartedly agree.

josh: I mean the courting nature of Mr. Charming. You can be smooth and charming and handsome and whatnot...

 

[commonyoshi]

No. This is just how you perceived it. See what kitten said.
...
If there was supposed to be a "concept" further, then you failed to communicate it to me.

Is it a PUA thing where you always have to have the last word on everything, and nothing can be your fault?

Crimson King was right. I was trying to familiarize myself with this whole PUA thing, but a conversation just doesn't seem possible without this being an online bickering match.

 

[Jammer]

Yeah, joshisrad, not to be mean, but I think the "communication problem" is on your end. Many people have been putting "words in your mouth", but it's not because we're "meanies". It's because you say stuff that apparently you don't really mean.

I didn't say that. I swear, all of my responses to people here are "I didn't say that." Everybody puts words in my mouth. meanies ;__________________;

When stuff like this happens, you should start to think that there's a possibility that's it's you, not them. Just some (genuinely) friendly advice: It might help if you are extra careful about how you come across. That means thinking about how your audience will perceive what you write, and not just writing your exact thoughts. It's a learned skill, and I'm confident that you are quite capable of doing it.

But anyway: As I write this, I am being eyed by a girl that I really don't like. This has always been a major problem for me: Nicely letting a girl know that I'm not interested.

The thing is that if they're too shy to come out and say it, I can't just say, "Oh, I'm sorry, but I don't think you're really my type" or something like that. Instead, they'll just have a crush on you in secret, and it makes me feel really bad, because I know how I feel when I like a girl in secret who doesn't like me back (it's a frustrating feeling).

People, how do you let people of the opposite gender (or same gender if they're gay, although I haven't really had problems with that) know, in the nicest, kindest way possible, that you don't reciprocate their feelings toward you? This is when they don't know that you know that they like you.

 

[FrogButler]

Two sixteen year olds can have sex in a bed like everyone else. Or just about anywhere. I know a girl who's had sex on a helipad.

On a helipad? Who is she, daughter of a CEO?

 

[OhMyGodItzMouf]

jammer, you just talk about other girls when you're around them

 

[McCloud]

Jammer: it's not a problem. She can eye you all she wants but if she doesn't ask you out then just take it as a compliment that you're good looking. You don't need to let it be any more than it is (namely that she thinks you're attractive). In the meantime, pursue the girls you want and that'll end it.

 

[Black Waltz]

Yeah, joshisrad, not to be mean, but I think the "communication problem" is on your end. Many people have been putting "words in your mouth", but it's not because we're "meanies". It's because you say stuff that apparently you don't really mean.



When stuff like this happens, you should start to think that there's a possibility that's it's you, not them. Just some (genuinely) friendly advice: It might help if you are extra careful about how you come across. That means thinking about how your audience will perceive what you write, and not just writing your exact thoughts. It's a learned skill, and I'm confident that you are quite capable of doing it.

But anyway: As I write this, I am being eyed by a girl that I really don't like. This has always been a major problem for me: Nicely letting a girl know that I'm not interested.

The thing is that if they're too shy to come out and say it, I can't just say, "Oh, I'm sorry, but I don't think you're really my type" or something like that. Instead, they'll just have a crush on you in secret, and it makes me feel really bad, because I know how I feel when I like a girl in secret who doesn't like me back (it's a frustrating feeling).

People, how do you let people of the opposite gender (or same gender if they're gay, although I haven't really had problems with that) know, in the nicest, kindest way possible, that you don't reciprocate their feelings toward you? This is when they don't know that you know that they like you.

if shes friends with a hot girl, then use her as a pivot to get that hot girl.

 

[Red Exodus]

I don't think that would rectify the situation, I have a similar problem but I don't think the girl likes me that much but idiots in my year keep telling her that I like her which kinda makes her think she should give it a shot when really I don't give a dam [no she is not hot, no she doesn't not have hot friends].

I'm not a nice guy so if she asks at the wrong time I'll just be crude and get the point across but if I wanted to be nice I would just tell her I'm not ready for that kind of relationship and maybe tell her we could just be friends.

Yeah that's probably how you could do it Jammer, it was much easier since I'm kinda in that position too.

 

[Red Exodus]

I don't think that would rectify the situation, I have a similar problem but I don't think the girl likes me that much but idiots in my year keep telling her that I like her which kinda makes her think she should give it a shot when really I don't give a dam [no she is not hot, no she doesn't have hot friends].

I'm not a nice guy so if she asks at the wrong time I'll just be crude and get the point across but if I wanted to be nice I would just tell her I'm not ready for that kind of relationship and maybe tell her we could just be friends.

Yeah that's probably how you could do it Jammer, it was much easier since I'm kinda in that position too.

 

[joshisrad]

Is it a PUA thing where you always have to have the last word on everything, and nothing can be your fault?

Crimson King was right. I was trying to familiarize myself with this whole PUA thing, but a conversation just doesn't seem possible without this being an online bickering match.

Don't whine. You weren't trying to learn about being a PUA. You were trying to call me immoral.

Yeah, joshisrad, not to be mean, but I think the "communication problem" is on your end. Many people have been putting "words in your mouth", but it's not because we're "meanies". It's because you say stuff that apparently you don't really mean.

No it's not. Think about what you're saying. If I have been saying, "I didn't say that" each time, then how have I said something that I don't mean? It would be one thing for me to say any of the things people have tried to put in my mouth, but I never did. Ever. The problem is personal bias. People here generally have an opposed view to PUA ideals. What happens is they let their personal bias get in the way of how they perceive the words I say. Everything is automatically taken to the great negative extremes. It's not me; it's them.

When stuff like this happens, you should start to think that there's a possibility that's it's you, not them.

I considered that before I said that everybody puts words in my mouth. It's wrong. Come on man. I'm an intellectual.

Just some (genuinely) friendly advice: It might help if you are extra careful about how you come across. That means thinking about how your audience will perceive what you write, and not just writing your exact thoughts. It's a learned skill, and I'm confident that you are quite capable of doing it.

Of course I am. But as I said, if you look back, it is very clear that I have never even remotely suggested anything that these people have claimed I said.

By the way, I agree with black waltz. Most girls would do the same thing to you.

 

[Livvers]

Just ignore her, Jammer. Unless she seems to be going out of her way to get you interested in her, then it's no big deal.

Using her as a pivot to get a hotter friend would be pretty ****ty, and would end up hurting her. You seem like a nice guy, so I doubt that'd be the road you'd want to take.

 

[Jammer]

jammer, you just talk about other girls when you're around them

That's a good idea. Except, I at least know how it feels when a girl talks to you about some guy she likes, when you like her and you think she doesn't know. It makes you feel all squirmy. I wouldn't want to do that to a girl.

Jammer: it's not a problem. She can eye you all she wants but if she doesn't ask you out then just take it as a compliment that you're good looking. You don't need to let it be any more than it is (namely that she thinks you're attractive). In the meantime, pursue the girls you want and that'll end it.

Ah, I wasn't talking about that kind of "eyeing me". I meant as in you catch them looking at you all the time, and because of that, along with other reasons, you know they have a crush on you. I'm really only average in my looks, so it's not because I'm good-looking or something.

if shes friends with a hot girl, then use her as a pivot to get that hot girl.

No thanks. That's just too mean for me.

I don't think that would rectify the situation, I have a similar problem but I don't think the girl likes me that much but idiots in my year keep telling her that I like her which kinda makes her think she should give it a shot when really I don't give a dam [no she is not hot, no she doesn't not have hot friends].

I'm not a nice guy so if she asks at the wrong time I'll just be crude and get the point across but if I wanted to be nice I would just tell her I'm not ready for that kind of relationship and maybe tell her we could just be friends.

Yeah that's probably how you could do it Jammer, it was much easier since I'm kinda in that position too.

Well, I guess I try to be a nice guy, so I don't want to be crude or dismissive.

Seriously, is there a solution? I'm beginning to doubt it.

EDIT:

I just saw this:

Just ignore her, Jammer. Unless she seems to be going out of her way to get you interested in her, then it's no big deal.

Well that's the thing. She might be too shy to go out of her way to show that she's interested in me. I know from personal experience that I would be much happier if a girl I like in secret just makes it clear whether or not she likes me back--it would make everything so much easier.

I guess I could really ignore her, as in not even talk to her like I do everyone else, but that just seems cold.

Another thing: This is not an isolated incident--it happens to me constantly with a few girls. I might just be a magnet for the shy girls or something, but I thought everyone had this problem.

 

[Deleted member]

Just don't think about it.

If she becomes assertive about it, which isn't likely at all, then just calmly say that you don't like her in that way. What's she going to do? She'll take a hint and back down.

There's not really a nice way of doing it, there's only a "be more understanding and gentle" route, save for actually dating her and letting her break up with you, which you aren't going to do.

 

[Jammer]

Yeah, I guess I might just be making this a bigger deal than it needs to be.

It just makes me sad to know that someone has a crush on me, and they're wondering if I like them back (I don't), and they're just hoping, but they can't get up the nerve to ask me...

It just doesn't feel right to "forget about it".

 

[Deleted member]

It just doesn't feel right to "forget about it".

There's not really a nice way of doing it

10 .

 

[joshisrad]

I don't think you guys understand what it means to use her as a pivot. Don't flat out ignore her, that'll just make her want you more. Keep her around as a friend and don't let her get any closer, but keep her attracted. Other chicks will see her orbiting you and find you more attractive because of your pre-selection. This is what using her as a pivot means. It's not mean. You gain a friend and a lover.